WEIRD SHIT! I was on the phone with my mom and said something about being stoned.

but I remember one time visiting for Christmas and I had brought a couple doobs so late Christmas eve my brother and I hung our heads out his bedroom window and had some christmas cheer.

The next morning my mom said "Wow I must really be hungry - last night I thought someone was baking a ham in the middle of the night...I must have been dreaming..."


Yeah mom, we were baked all right...


(it was pretty foolish of us too - my stepfather would have been happy to call the police on me if he had caught us. Back then I didn't give a fuck though and would have enjoyed pissing him off that much...)


there was a couple years there my best friend and I were totally wasted every day and we'd go raid his mom's kitchen and she either never noticed or (far more likely) it just didn't bother her. She was an artist and probably knew more about that stuff than we knew she knew.

...with some 'pretty little plants'. At least, that's what my mom called them. When she asked my brother what kind they were he told her they were a new variety of aralia (sp?).

She watered them for him the whole summer.

The leaves look VERY much like pot leaves except that they are joined at the stem (think thread leaf maple) rather than individual leaves sprouting from the same spot on the stem. From a distance it's REALLY similar. On major difference - it has 6" magenta flowers instead of little white ones.

He had what he told our mom was a "tomato" plant on the kitchen windowsill and asked her to take care of it for him.

Well, mom has a brown thumb...and she killed it.

For years she felt so guilty for murdering my bro's "tomato" plant.

It was some years later when she finally found out what it really was.

I encountered the Purple Ribbon "Best in Show" purple hair bud backalong I love Vermont....

But never when I was doing it and therefore never to what extent I was doing it. She found my stash a couple times, but she only ever accused me of being high when she was pissed at me, not when, for example, I was doing my homework or, say, playing on the varsity tennis team. She never really did put it together.

She showed up at my apartment unannounced on time (I was sick as a dog) and there were pot plants under a grow lamp on the shelf in the living room. Maybe she didn't know what they were, but still.

if you were stoned just about all the time, that's what was normal for her.

Same sort of thing that happened with my second husband, an alcoholic. People never guessed he drank so much unless they saw him sober. Which was for about 15 minutes every morning.

There wasn't much I could get by my dad because he had done it all. Also because of that he wasn't very critical about it.

"...and I reached down for a weed to chew on. Things got hazy and things got fuzzy and then EVERYTHING was gone. When I came to my brother was there and he said 'Wah happened to yo ehes?' I said, 'I dunno I was chewin on a weed'. He said 'Lemme give it a try.'

Spent the rest of that day and most of that night tryin to find my brother Bill. Caught up with him bout six o'clock the next morning, naked, sittin on the windmill. He said he flew up there. I had to fly up and get him down, he was about half crazy."