An idea for a telemarketer gag

[MrScorpio]

Answer the phone and nervously say hello.

When the telemarketer starts their spiel, interrupt them and tell them that it's not a good time to talk.

When they start up again hold the phone away from you while screaming "No! NO! NO!" Make it sound like there's a scuffle going on, then drop the phone.

Keep silent for a few seconds, then pick up the phone to see if the telemarketer is still there.

If so, in your best Eastern European accent, tell the person there, "Your never called this number", and then hang up.

Problem solved.

[LynneSin]

1. Better yet, do Liam Neeson's memorable quote from "Taken"

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

[Xyzse]

2. Awesome Movie

Very few people could pull that off.

[LynneSin]

4. Lately that seems like every role that Liam Neeson does

a bit of a waste of talent.

But they have released the trailer for Taken #2

[Xyzse]

8. They Have?

Though yes, I agree, it is a waste of talent.
The Grey is not something I can in good conscience currently watch.
That is, till it hits streaming in Netflix.

[MrScorpio]

3. Make the last line, "I will EAT you" and you'll have a winner nt

[LynneSin]

5. with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

[sharp_stick]

6. I once tried to sell AMWAY

to a telemarketer.

I'd had a few beers when she called and I was sick of them calling us, it was one of those generic alarm companies that ignore the DNC list.

I managed to keep her on the phone for about 5 - 10 minutes with my wife laughing her ass off in the background. I told her that if she became a member of my AMWAY team and brought on 2 others, or just her supervisor, I'd have the alarm system installed. I think her supervisor disconnected the call because the line just went dead after that.

[Scuba]

7. I used to go with "Let's hear it", then hand the phone to a small child. Now the dog gets to listen.

[Major Nikon]

9. ...

[MicaelS]

10. New problem...

SWAT shows up at your door. They you get to explain why.

Maybe you'll even get on the evening news, or YouTube.

"Uh, it was just a little phone JOKE, officers. No, no, really it was."

[pinboy3niner]

11. I just answer: "Customer Service. This is Peggy. How may I help you?"

[HopeHoops]

12. I like pulling a Calvin - "Hi. Yes, I'd like to order a large cheese pizza for delivery."

I've only had ONE person respond with, "yeah, I've heard it before, a lot of times."

[HarveyDarkey]

13. Just Google "Tom Mabe"