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Wed Jul 11, 2012, 07:39 PM

What are the dumbest jargon-y phrases and words that annoy you most?

Mine is "visioning". Managers in my agency use it a lot when talking about the agency's future course.

I always cringe and want to scream at them, "IT'S NOT A REAL WORD! IT'S EN-VISIONING, YOU DUMB FUCKS!"

But I don't. I need my paycheck.

SIGH

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Reply What are the dumbest jargon-y phrases and words that annoy you most? (Original post)
arbusto_baboso Jul 2012 OP
ohiosmith Jul 2012 #1
panader0 Jul 2012 #35
ohiosmith Jul 2012 #38
Archae Jul 2012 #2
Odin2005 Jul 2012 #50
HopeHoops Jul 2012 #3
arcane1 Jul 2012 #4
NJCher Jul 2012 #15
Bertha Venation Jul 2012 #32
bluesbassman Jul 2012 #5
kentauros Jul 2012 #53
bluesbassman Jul 2012 #61
NightWatcher Jul 2012 #6
Populist_Prole Jul 2012 #28
redwitch Jul 2012 #7
HarveyDarkey Jul 2012 #8
caraher Jul 2012 #22
kentauros Jul 2012 #54
Bonobo Jul 2012 #9
SCantiGOP Jul 2012 #11
RebelOne Jul 2012 #26
Mopar151 Jul 2012 #52
OriginalGeek Jul 2012 #10
Bertha Venation Jul 2012 #12
NJCher Jul 2012 #16
6000eliot Jul 2012 #34
ehrnst Jul 2012 #13
TrogL Jul 2012 #14
Rambis Jul 2012 #17
FloridaJudy Jul 2012 #59
geardaddy Jul 2012 #18
Aristus Jul 2012 #19
hifiguy Jul 2012 #20
Lucy Goosey Jul 2012 #21
JBoy Jul 2012 #23
kentauros Jul 2012 #55
Ron Obvious Jul 2012 #24
driver8 Jul 2012 #25
sharp_stick Jul 2012 #27
sharp_stick Jul 2012 #29
Kennah Jul 2012 #45
sharp_stick Jul 2012 #48
sharp_stick Jul 2012 #30
GCP Jul 2012 #31
Initech Jul 2012 #33
Populist_Prole Jul 2012 #43
Son of Gob Jul 2012 #47
GoneOffShore Jul 2012 #51
MicaelS Jul 2012 #36
Bonobo Jul 2012 #37
Jeff In Milwaukee Jul 2012 #39
Art_from_Ark Jul 2012 #40
Jeff In Milwaukee Jul 2012 #41
Arctic Dave Jul 2012 #42
Kennah Jul 2012 #44
Mopar151 Jul 2012 #60
Son of Gob Jul 2012 #46
Odin2005 Jul 2012 #49
woo me with science Jul 2012 #56
raccoon Jul 2012 #57
baldguy Jul 2012 #58
Kali Jul 2012 #62
The Magistrate Jul 2012 #63
GreatCaesarsGhost Jul 2012 #64

Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Wed Jul 11, 2012, 07:52 PM

1. Been away from the business world for a while. The ones that annoyed me most were:

"Helicopter it"

"Eat your kill"

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Response to ohiosmith (Reply #1)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 01:27 PM

35. I thought "Helicopter it" meant twirling your male part.........

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Response to panader0 (Reply #35)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 09:14 PM

38. It does! Woo, woo woo....!

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Wed Jul 11, 2012, 07:54 PM

2. Politics is the worst for this.

"Spin."

Real term for "spin" is BULLSHIT.

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Response to Archae (Reply #2)

Sat Jul 14, 2012, 12:53 AM

50. But without "spin", we can't call it the "spin cycle"

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Wed Jul 11, 2012, 07:55 PM

3. "Marketecture". I liken it to dog shit. Don't step in it.

 

The asswipe that I first heard use it put together a PowerPoint (of course) with every fucking connection going through it's own CORBA "cloud". He couldn't understand why everyone was laughing. CORBA IS THE FUCKING CLOUD! His excuse was that it was just the "marketecture". He's also the only one you could tell was in the office because the Internet connection would suddenly get slow. Snoop in promiscuous mode always showed the links to the porn sites he was downloading from. I checked out a few of them out of curiosity. He had a really bad concept of what sex was about.

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Wed Jul 11, 2012, 08:00 PM

4. "Shooting" someone an email

My boss, whom I love, always likes to say things like "we need to hire four more bodies"

His boss mispronounces "verbiage" and now everyone here does it. Plus, she speaks entirely in mixed metaphors: we need to hit the ground running on this so we can touch base and knock it out of the park.

"Meme" and "synergy" should probably get a few years of retirement too.


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Response to arcane1 (Reply #4)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 10:48 AM

15. that work environment would be toxic to an English teacher

I wouldn't be able to make it there, not even for half a day.

Before I was an English teacher, I was a marketing executive. I worked for some high profile companies that almost everyone would know.

I noticed this buzz language in all three of the companies I worked for. Finally sick of it, I started a newsletter mocking the current jargon. My newsletter was full of articles on new buzzwords, what buzzwords were out, and how to properly use the words. I even drew up my own cartoons. Of course it was satirical and I had catharsis writing it. I would stay late after work and write it up once a month. Photocopied it on the high-speed copier, and then I distributed it in the mail room.

The irony was they didn't know it was satire. They thought it was for real. I heard people talking about it in the lunchroom, for example, and telling each other that certain buzzwords were "out" and they shouldn't be using them. It was then that I realized my power (evil cackle).


Cher

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Response to NJCher (Reply #15)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 01:07 PM

32. last para -- sad

They probably wouldn't even know what satire was if it jumped up and bit them.

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Wed Jul 11, 2012, 08:03 PM

5. I can't stand "circle back". I ain't got time for circling...

Last edited Wed Jul 11, 2012, 09:14 PM - Edit history (1)

we either go straight back or not at all. Screw all that circling noise.

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Response to bluesbassman (Reply #5)

Sat Jul 14, 2012, 03:57 AM

53. Do you have time for circle jerks?




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Response to kentauros (Reply #53)

Sat Jul 14, 2012, 02:42 PM

61. LOL. Of course!

One of the greatest album names ever.

Never really embraced (is that the right term to use when the Jerks are involved? ) punk all that much, but the Circle Jerks were a good band in the genre.

Good post kentauros!

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Wed Jul 11, 2012, 08:08 PM

6. "Touch base". I grew up playing ball and it meant something then

Now it means "I'm bored so I'm calling to see what you can do for me today, even though I haven't called in weeks"

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Response to NightWatcher (Reply #6)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 12:53 PM

28. Pretty much spot-on

I get calls from fair weather friends like that, and as soon as the conversation begins to have any gravity whatsoever, it's: "Uh....I gotta go now, the light just turned green". Like they were bored enough so that they wanted to get the next minute or so over with by determining if you were at least still amongst the living.

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Wed Jul 11, 2012, 08:29 PM

7. "Job Creator"

Makes my blood pressure soar.

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Wed Jul 11, 2012, 08:38 PM

8. God Particle

 

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Response to HarveyDarkey (Reply #8)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 11:15 AM

22. Amen

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Response to caraher (Reply #22)

Sat Jul 14, 2012, 04:01 AM

54. God Particle

There, I said it, mostly to antagonize and annoy

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Wed Jul 11, 2012, 08:51 PM

9. "At the end of the day...". nt

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Response to Bonobo (Reply #9)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 10:18 AM

11. beat me to it, bonobo

"at the end of the day" was chosen a couple of years ago as the most annoying new phrase. Also don't like 'tasked' as a verb, as in "I was tasked with preparing the report."

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Response to Bonobo (Reply #9)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 12:51 PM

26. That phrase is my pet peeve. I cringe when I hear it. n/t

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Response to Bonobo (Reply #9)

Sat Jul 14, 2012, 02:58 AM

52. "I'm down with that"

At the end of the day, it is what it is. I'm down with that. Know what I mean?

Waste 20 words to say nothing.......

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Wed Jul 11, 2012, 08:53 PM

10. I'm getting burnt out on "Doubling down"

on the other hand, 30something years ago I worked in a small family-owned BBQ place in Texas and every time I walked into the kitchen to start my shift I'd groan as my boss would say "What's the dill, pickle?


I miss you Mickey and I would give an awful lot to hear you say that again.


Mickey was a good boss and a good man at a time when I needed both.

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 10:30 AM

12. For starters, any noun used as a verb.

"We are partnering with . . ." as one example.

Also teeth-gritting:

at the end of the day

we've turned the corner

take it to the next level

Why do people even speak in cliches? Are we that lazy, that unimaginative?

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Response to Bertha Venation (Reply #12)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 10:51 AM

16. yes


Why do people even speak in cliches? Are we that lazy, that unimaginative?

see my post above, #15, esp. the last paragraph.


Cher

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Response to NJCher (Reply #16)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 01:23 PM

34. It's because the corporate world is infused with magical thinking.

If you find the right incantation, then you will achieve success. The higher up you go on the ladder, BTW, the more likely you are to hear this language being spoken. Maybe knowing the language helps justify your obscene salary?

Edited to add "elevate the brand."

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 10:31 AM

13. "pulling the trigger" on a project or deal. (nt)

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 10:32 AM

14. "It is what it is"

Generally spoken by faith-based people avoiding a reality-based situation.

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Response to TrogL (Reply #14)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 10:56 AM

17. Bingo!

Well it shouldn't fooking be that way!

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Response to TrogL (Reply #14)

Sat Jul 14, 2012, 09:46 AM

59. I hate, hate, hate that one

Usually said by people who are trying to sound profound who have no clue about the real situation.

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 10:57 AM

18. "Ask" as a noun.

"What's his ask?"

"He wants $500,000 for the project."

Grrrr! It's a request, or requirement or desired pay or whatever. I HATE that when people say that. "

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 10:57 AM

19. The managerial-seminar abomination: "My ask of you is that..."

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 11:06 AM

20. Any of the obfuscatory, duplicitous bullshit that is used

and taught in business schools. Crimes against the Queen's English, they are!

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 11:14 AM

21. "Visioning" is definitely on my shit-list, too

"Due diligence" is way overused where I work, and don't even get me started on all the dolts who still say "think outside the box."

In my office, there also seem to be many perfectly good words being used in incorrect and jargony ways, like "enhance" and "strangthen" as in: "we need to enhance collaboration" and "the new initiative will strengthen accountability." It seems like a way to say something that sounds good but really hardly means anything.

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 11:32 AM

23. Who's baby is that? What's your angle? I'll buy that.

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Response to JBoy (Reply #23)

Sat Jul 14, 2012, 04:07 AM

55. I'd buy that for a dollar!

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 12:27 PM

24. 'invite' instead of invitation bugs me...

It saves just one syllable, so what's the attraction of 'invite' over 'invitation'?

I've found that after I'm done punching the inviter in the face a few times in my annoyance over their use of the word, the 'invite' is often retracted for some strange reason.

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 12:40 PM

25. "Having said that" or "That being said..."

Drives me up the fucking wall!!

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 12:52 PM

27. Silo thinking

working outside the silo environment.

Like any of these idiots actually know what the hell a silo is anyway.

I hate all business speak.

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 12:53 PM

29. Lets Take It Offline

"FUCK YOU! I'm wasting time in this meeting and You want me to call you later about it."

Of course I don't say that I just nod and then forget about it like everyone else.

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Response to sharp_stick (Reply #29)

Fri Jul 13, 2012, 02:39 AM

45. I thought it meant ...

... FUCK YOU, we're not doing that!

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Response to Kennah (Reply #45)

Fri Jul 13, 2012, 12:00 PM

48. It can, I forgot about that use

And that has happened in our meetings but the more common one for us is that many, and I do mean many, of our meetings tend to get technical. This is a way to get two people who are yammering endlessly about some minute issue to go away for awhile so the rest of us can get on with the rest of the wasted morning.

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 12:55 PM

30. It Is What It Is

sorry for the multiple posts, I just hate so many of these damned things. Sometimes I'm in a meeting that's just filled with them and I'm sitting there seething and "visioning" different ways of whacking the usual suspects that come up with this shit.

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 01:05 PM

31. 'Thinking outside the box', still annoys me

'Right-sizing' for downsizing.

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 01:13 PM

33. When people use the word "preggers" to describe pregnant women.

Holy crap does that one drive me crazy!

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Response to Initech (Reply #33)

Fri Jul 13, 2012, 12:37 AM

43. Drives me nuts too, and I'm a man

Sounds coarse and silly at the same time.

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Response to Initech (Reply #33)

Fri Jul 13, 2012, 03:46 AM

47. Or when a couple says "We're" pregnant.

No, she's pregnant.

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Response to Initech (Reply #33)

Sat Jul 14, 2012, 12:57 AM

51. That's come over from the UK? Haven't heard it here recently

Very popular in the 70's it was.

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 02:07 PM

36. "Going forward"...

I hate that with a passion. What's wrong with "From now on"?

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 09:12 PM

37. "Em-bed"

As in the reporter is an Em-bed" (noun).

The phrase "embedded" is stupid and annoying enough on a linguistic, sociological and political level, but it is made so much worse be turning it into a noun -"An EM-bed".

Grrr. I hate it.

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 09:15 PM

39. Synergy

By definition, any combination of two objects that creates something that was not obtainable independently creates synergy. Fucking Nestle Quick and Milk creates synergy. So the hell what?

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Response to Jeff In Milwaukee (Reply #39)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 10:08 PM

40. I think "synergy" actually refers to a combination of two or more things

that produces something greater than the sum of the individual parts. For example, "Simon and Garfunkle had synergy as a songwriting team, but they sucked as solo musicians".

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Response to Art_from_Ark (Reply #40)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 10:19 PM

41. I don't think it needs to be greater

Because that would require a subjective assessment. It just has to be unattainable without the other quantity.

And personally I think Art Garfunkle was doing just fine until he hooked up with that no-talent hack...

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Fri Jul 13, 2012, 12:30 AM

42. Paradigm shift"

 

If you want ax to the melon, say that in a meeting.

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Fri Jul 13, 2012, 02:37 AM

44. Action Item

This one drives me nuts because without "Action Items" then it seems like NOTHING FUCKING GETS DONE! Inaction becomes the default.

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Response to Kennah (Reply #44)

Sat Jul 14, 2012, 11:38 AM

60. "I'll take that as an action item"

Meant "I'll suffocate it in my briefcase and hope everybody forgets." Wotta tool......

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Fri Jul 13, 2012, 03:43 AM

46. Got any cheeeese?

Did I do that?

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Sat Jul 14, 2012, 12:52 AM

49. "Right-Sizing"

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Sat Jul 14, 2012, 05:34 AM

56. "Impact" as a verb.

Last edited Sat Jul 14, 2012, 06:18 AM - Edit history (1)


It bleats allegiance to corporate culture and advertises that the user hasn't a clue of the difference between "affect" and "effect."

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Sat Jul 14, 2012, 07:23 AM

57. "win-win" situation, or whatever. Sounds SO phony and contrived. nt

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Sat Jul 14, 2012, 08:00 AM

58. Using the word "interface" when they mean "communicate".

An interface is a physical connection between two bits of hardware. #1 - I am a human being not a piece of hardware, and #2 - that person you want me to "interface" with isn't that attractive (and they're not likely to buy me dinner first, either).

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Sat Jul 14, 2012, 03:45 PM

62. one that has cropped up in my world sort of recently

"ecosystem services"

considering the dipshits pushing the term (office/meeting -dwelling agency personnel and high dollar "consultants") it started grating on my nerves pretty quickly

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Sat Jul 14, 2012, 03:58 PM

63. Bottom Line, Sir? Laser-Focused On A Perfect Storm At The End Of The Day

One day I will snap, and you will read of it in the papers....

"If you could see tomorrow as it looks to us today...."

"Romney loves America like a tick loves a dog."

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Response to arbusto_baboso (Original post)

Sat Jul 14, 2012, 06:00 PM

64. It's déjà-vu all over again.

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