So, when I got married, my wife didn't change her name and my mom was pissed

That way you have a year to plan how to do it with flair and class ( ;

I like that.

If the goal is gasket-blowing, that might do!

it may not have mattered anyway. Maybe she's the kind who felt no woman would ever be good enough for you, lol.

Funny how my mom was always suspicious of the motive of the current boyfriend until the next one came along. Then the former one became a saint.

When my husband came along, she was against it from the start (for no reason). She asked if I were pregnant. (No.)

In my wedding pictures, she looks like someone just died.

Twenty years later, she thinks he's THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME!

and there was no question about their commitment. They were going on 20something years when he died 2 years ago and she's still a big part of our lives. The name thing never bothered any of us. My grandma (my uncle's mother) never had a problem with it and she was old when she passed away. My aunt still checks in on my grandpa every day.


I'd say 19 years gets you a few good-natured digs (lol, though I reckon it depends on your relationship with mom).


People are toooooo tied up in what they think oughtta be.


Oh and Happy Anniversary!



ps - coming from the other side and completely selfish of me but I anticipate suggesting the same thing to my daughter. lol

They have been together over 30 years and still haven't gotten married.

Happy Anniversary


Second...a little something about my son's wife, who was all too happy to take his name when they married.

Her maiden name is about 13 letters long and contains maybe 3 vowels.

She got so tired of telling people how to spell and pronounce it.

Now she's thrilled to have a last name that people can spell and pronounce

They made you stencil your name on EVERYTHING with these horrible pens that hardly worked.

Having a 3 character last name, I had it so much easier than Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff.

Them: I'm so glad you could come visit us.

Me: Well, in the 22 years that we've been together, it has been difficult making the trip across country. It's not like 23 years ago before we moved in together when we could just pick up and go on a whim. We are hoping to do more traveling on our 23rd anniversary. Did you know we've barely seen the cousins since we moved away two decades ago?

My MIL doesn't care about the name thing, but she still hasn't forgiven me for not having a big wedding (we got "married" by having a notary public sign the license - no ceremony, no religion involved). She told me it showed a lack of commitment. She hasn't mentioned as much in the last 20 years.

My Dad still puts what would have been my married name on some legal documents, just to make sure he covers all the bases, but I refuse to sign that name since it is not mine.

we've just done 25 years,,,

if I didn't change my name. Kept insisting is was part of the legalities and how I was going to be living in sin if I didn't change it. To her dying day she addressed every letter, card, gift, note and phone call to me using my husband's last name.

26 years married, 28 years together....

stuff to me using my husband's last name. There is no such person with that name. Period. Sometimes they just can't let go.

even though I never changed my name either, and married many years.

...change your last name to your wife's. It worked for a friend of mine. They never heard from his mother again.

My DIL didn't change her last name. But, she has this really beautiful Japanese name that sounds like poetry. My last name sounds like you're yelling at someone while trying to hack up a hairball.

of the sound of your last name!

When your social security card, birth certificate and legitimate drivers license from another state is not enough...one needs to present a marriage certificate ALSO because the name on the birth certificate is different than that on other documents!...GRR!..17 MORE DOLLARS AND A WAIT OF UP TO 6 MONTHS!...Married 25 years ago, and separated 20 years ago...GRR, did I forget to say GRR?

marriage certificate. She's waiting for Ohio to get it to her so she can renew her already expired driver's license. All this for a marriage that ended thirty-something years ago.

I requested a name change back to my birth name. After an initial round of changing my name on everything, I now have no problems at all. All documents match.

Well, my mother wouldn't come to my wedding because I was only 18...
But all of my husband's family was there... I couldn't wait to change my name.


and this Summer we will celebrate our 45th anniversary.

Tikki

I found out a couple of years after the wedding. Now they are having a baby and we don't know what the baby's name(s) will be.

Does it matter? Not really, but it would be nice to be "in the loop"! What's with all the secrets?

some folks would rather beg forgiveness than ask permission...

Kept my name. Still together.

...but everyone was shocked (SHOCKED!) that their daughter got her last name instead of his. They had a lot of people kind of demand to know why their daughter wouldn't get her dad's last name - I was really surprised by how upset some people, even casual acquaintances, were.

A man isn't expected to. The tradition is dumb. Yes, rub your mom's nose in it.

In many cultures, you have your father's name and your mother's name when you are born.

The US system is weird. How do you go from being Jane Grey for the first 20, 30, 40 whatever years of your life and all of a sudden, you're Jane Brown. It's weird. And men act like it is nothing. You're just supposed to do it if you love them. BS.

If they do, forget about the nose rubbing.

If they don't, go for it.

Married women keep their maiden name but the children take the husband's last name. It isn't seen as a sign of independence or disrespect. It's the ancient tradition. I've also seen couples adopt the western tradition when they immigrate to the west.

Women and cats do as they please. Men and dogs need to relax and get used to the idea.

Robert Anson Heinlein

Hadn't expected that.

Her choice, of course. And I back her 100%.

and remember that parents make mistakes too. No need to rub anyone's "nose in it".

She knows very well that you're still married.

I decided not to take his name because everyone at the office knew me as My Last Name and to change would have been difficult. He was fine with my decision. My mom was thrilled because she hated him and figured it would be easier for me when she finally got me to leave him. Most of my relatives have no particular problem, although one of my aunts always addresses the holiday card to "Mr & Mrs His Last Name". Once time our postman put a question mark on it as if to ask if I were really Mrs. His Last Name. The one time it was an issue was a few years ago during one of my husband's hospital trips. He was having surgery on a torn rotator cuff on an out-patient basis (isn't most surgery like that these days) and I was in the waiting room. His surgeon came in and the receptionist paged "Mrs. His Last Name". I heard the page, but it didn't click that they wanted me. I was close enough to the receptionist to hear her say to the doctor that she knew I was in the room. That's when it hit me that it was me they were looking for, so I walked up and said that I was Mr. His Last Name's wife. The doctor and the receptionist both looked at me like I was a total idiot. So I mentioned that I didn't have the same last name. The receptionist, an older lady, looked scandalized at the very thought of a woman not taking her husband's name. Sorry, I don't make decisions based on your petty concerns.

My mom called my grandmother (who lived to be 100) and said "Charlie and I have been married 50 years. Pretty good for a marriage you didn't think would last, huh?"

You know what my grandmother said?

"His sister Margreta was married 55 years, and now she are getting a divorce, so you never know."

I kid you not.

Many years ago my first husband and I went down to the court house to register a declaration of common-law marriage in Texas. The old grumpy county clerk tore up three forms with carbons because I refused to change my name.

I asked him, "Can you tell me where in the Texas Family Code it says I have to change my name?" He would not answer me because there is no requirement about names.

I went to a lawyer to see what my options were and he said the clerk committed a misdemeanor by not carrying out the official duties of his office. We got a marriage license and went to the JP.

His parents thought i was a horrible person because I didn't change my name. When we were living together they called us up and said, "Oh if you live together for six months you are gonna wake up one day and be married." I asked them, "Can you show me where it says that in the Texas Family Code?" They were not lawyers and thought they knew everything. My dad was a lawyer and later I went to law school too. Dad had told me the requirements of a common law marriage in Texas many times. It has nothing to do with time.

And with the guy I've been with for 18 years, I have not changed my name because his first wife's first name and my first name are the same. So there was another Mrs. Firstname Myguy out there.
She passed away recently. I don't know if it's safe to change my name or not. Both our last names are fairly easy to spell.

Some people don't understand when your maiden name IS your identity and you don't want to change it.