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Fri May 25, 2012, 12:47 PM

The WORST, cardboard crust, shit-tasting waste of money you've gotta be kidding me chain store pizza

Last edited Sat May 26, 2012, 05:43 PM - Edit history (1)


32 votes, 1 pass | Time left: Unlimited
PAPA JOHN'S! Actually, the pizza ain't half bad, but the owner held a fundraiser at his house for Romney, so fuck him. AND Romney. Fuck 'em BOTH!
10 (31%)
Little Caesar's
4 (13%)
Pizza Hut
3 (9%)
Round Table
0 (0%)
Domino's
9 (28%)
Godfather's. CAIN!
2 (6%)
Papa Murphy's
1 (3%)
CiCi's
1 (3%)
Sbarro
0 (0%)
Chuck-E-Cheese
2 (6%)
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Reply The WORST, cardboard crust, shit-tasting waste of money you've gotta be kidding me chain store pizza (Original post)
Amerigo Vespucci May 2012 OP
ohiosmith May 2012 #1
hlthe2b May 2012 #2
OriginalGeek May 2012 #5
hlthe2b May 2012 #8
Amerigo Vespucci May 2012 #7
hlthe2b May 2012 #10
Rhiannon12866 May 2012 #59
RiffRandell May 2012 #3
Initech May 2012 #19
hifiguy May 2012 #4
Amerigo Vespucci May 2012 #9
Populist_Prole May 2012 #6
MrScorpio May 2012 #11
littlewolf May 2012 #12
CBGLuthier May 2012 #13
AsahinaKimi May 2012 #14
susanr516 May 2012 #15
Initech May 2012 #16
Amerigo Vespucci May 2012 #17
Initech May 2012 #18
baldguy May 2012 #24
EastTennesseeDem May 2012 #48
KamaAina May 2012 #20
mwooldri May 2012 #21
LeftyMom May 2012 #28
hifiguy May 2012 #44
alphafemale May 2012 #62
Amerigo Vespucci May 2012 #47
eppur_se_muova May 2012 #22
baldguy May 2012 #23
krispos42 May 2012 #27
OriginalGeek May 2012 #32
DinahMoeHum May 2012 #49
krispos42 May 2012 #52
jmowreader May 2012 #60
sakabatou May 2012 #25
mucifer May 2012 #26
harmonicon May 2012 #37
mucifer May 2012 #38
GoCubsGo May 2012 #42
hifiguy May 2012 #45
flvegan May 2012 #29
fifthoffive May 2012 #30
Odin2005 May 2012 #58
sakabatou May 2012 #65
rocktivity May 2012 #31
cynatnite May 2012 #33
beknighted May 2012 #34
MrSlayer May 2012 #35
harmonicon May 2012 #36
sevento47orpi May 2012 #39
kentauros May 2012 #40
Amerigo Vespucci May 2012 #54
kentauros May 2012 #55
GoneOffShore May 2012 #41
HopeHoops May 2012 #43
Digit May 2012 #46
mzteris May 2012 #56
secondvariety May 2012 #50
beknighted May 2012 #51
Hippo_Tron May 2012 #53
Odin2005 May 2012 #57
chrisa May 2012 #61
BlueIris May 2012 #63
Honeycombe8 May 2012 #64
Jamaal510 Jul 2012 #66

Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Fri May 25, 2012, 12:51 PM

1. Easily Godfather's. Don't know if it's still so, but their crusts used to be pre made and sent to

the stores in shrink wrap.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Fri May 25, 2012, 12:51 PM

2. Well, there are a few there I've never tried, but I think they are all "cardboard" crust crappola

Fortunately, I largely burned out on pizza quite some time ago, given I have a very difficult time finding any edible, much less NYC style thin crust....

Cardboard crust, fake cheese, HFCS-filled tomato sauce, and "barely there" or inedible toppings.

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Response to hlthe2b (Reply #2)

Fri May 25, 2012, 01:00 PM

5. "burned out on pizza"

those are words that confuse me. lol

A friend of mine once said "I could eat pizza while my head was on fire" and I understand that.

Then again, I ate a Freschetta frozen pizza last night and enjoyed it for what it was so maybe I'm biased...

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Response to OriginalGeek (Reply #5)

Fri May 25, 2012, 01:15 PM

8. I worked nights for a number of years and Dominos pizza was all that was close...

By the time I left that job, I never wanted to see pizza again. It took a decade (and some true "palate-cleansing" eating some good pizza while in NYC for a summer, but i managed to get past that awful memory. But, in recent years, uggh... Yup, there are some frozen pizzas that are more edible than the current offerings for the most part--at least in Denver and for those that like "thin-crust"...

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Response to hlthe2b (Reply #2)

Fri May 25, 2012, 01:14 PM

7. Never got the HFCS thing.

I'm Italian, I have a legacy of "family recipes" behind me. My mom used to put a pinch of sugar in her sauce to cut the bitterness of the tomatoes, but that's it.

There is a local deli / sausage company in San Jose that's been in business since the early 1900s. I told him I take canned San Marzano tomatoes, put them through the food mill attachment on my Kitchen Aid mixer to remove the seeds and skin (the source of the bitterness). You end up with beautiful puree and juice. I take a couple of tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil, heat it over medium, saute about 1/4 cup of chopped onion until it turns translucent, along with one thinly sliced stalk of celery and one carrot shredded in a cheese "box grater." When the onions become translucent I add a couple of cloves of chopped garlic. I saute that for about a minute (burn it and you ruin your sauce). I add the tomatoes and bring it to a slight simmer (just so you can see a few bubbles popping on the surface). I put the lid on the pot with it tilted just enough to vent and simmer, stirring occasionally, for an hour and a half. Right before I take it off the heat, I add the herbs, salt, and pepper. You do this so they retain a "bright" flavor and also don't "burn" in the sauce. The carrot provides all of the mild, "natural" sweetness you need, and since the seeds and skin are removed, bitterness really isn't an issue.

He said "That's how we make our sauce."

So I must be doing something right.



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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Reply #7)

Fri May 25, 2012, 01:29 PM

10. Sounds delicious (and makes tremendous sense)....

I had a New Years resolution to get away from processed food and cook as many meals as is possible--and all meals when I'm not traveling.

I'm admittedly not a good cook and so tend to make only very basic foods. But, I do cook from scratch, use fresh, healthy ingredients, and I've found that is really all that is necessary for a good outcome. I have only really been consistent about doing this for four months, now, but I really feel much better and have probably lost a tad of weight, without even trying. "Real" food fills you up more readily. I add no sugar to anything, just a bit of honey in the whole grain bread I make in the breadmaker. And, I've been scrupulous about making sure I buy NOTHING with HFCS in it.

Yup, it makes a tremendous difference.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Reply #7)

Sun May 27, 2012, 03:52 PM

59. Thanks for the suggestions!

I've been making my mother's meat sauce for years, never knew there was any other kind when I was a kid, LOL. My Sicilian housemate always uses a pinch of crushed mint to cut the acidity. Good idea to add the herbs at the end, especially since my mother's sauce cooks for three hours. I may try yours...

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Fri May 25, 2012, 12:56 PM

3. Papa John's

Everytime we have gotten pizza there it has sucked. We just get veggie pizzas or just cheese, and they totally suck. A new chain has opened near us and it tastes like real pizza. Pizza Hut was barely patable and inconsistent.

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Response to RiffRandell (Reply #3)

Fri May 25, 2012, 04:57 PM

19. My dad hates Papa John's because he's a UK fan and they donated a lot of money to Louisville.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Fri May 25, 2012, 12:56 PM

4. Litttle Caesar's is the worst of the given choices.

The existence of cheese on their pizzas was but a rumor. Domino's was pretty awful too but was marginally better than LC. Haven't had it for years so I can't comment on their much touted "revisions" and "improvements."

The WORST pizza I ever had was from a place called Rocky Rococo's, which is now defunct I believe. The crust was an inch thick, with the consistency and flavor of Wonder bread, usually barely heated through. The sauce was nauseatingly sweet, and the sausage came not crumbled, but in weird little pucks that seem to have been machine-extruded. Try to serve that shit in Italy, or even any east coast city with top shelf 'za and you'd justly be tarred, feathered and chucked into the nearest river.

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Response to hifiguy (Reply #4)

Fri May 25, 2012, 01:19 PM

9. Beverly, Massachusetts...

...I grew up in a small town called Hamilton, and my parents drove to Beverly whenever they wanted pizza. We had a pizzeria in our town but it sucked. The Beverly parlor had pizza in the TRUE Italian style...thin crust, no heavy garlic / tomato paste stuff going on in the sauce, minimal toppings...the only pizza I ever had growing up was cheese pizzas from this place. A little oregano on top, and MAN, was it TASTY. There's a local place called "A Slice Of New York"...a transplanted New York firefighter who decided to come to California and open a pizza parlor. It's kind of like "Pizza My Heart"...you order a slice and they have the pizzas ready for the lunch rush so they just have to stick your slice back in the oven to heat it. It's always better when it's straight out of the oven, but when I'm in the mood for that East Coast flavor, I don;t mind the reheating that much.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Fri May 25, 2012, 01:03 PM

6. Papa Johns is the worst of the chains I've tried but

I've never had 'Godfather's'.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Fri May 25, 2012, 01:38 PM

11. In spite of Little Caesars lack of taste, I still patronize them...

The owner is a generous supporter of Democrats and a long standing member of the South East Michigan community, as well as the owner of both The Tigers and The Red Wings.

Besides, I can slather the slices in hot sauce, so it's all good.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Fri May 25, 2012, 01:45 PM

12. LC and Dominos are the 2 worse

Papa Johns makes a decent pie ..
his politics suck ... but the folks
running the franchise may not
be like that ...

I also like Cici's .... not great ..
but for a quick lunch ...

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Fri May 25, 2012, 02:08 PM

13. Have not eaten chain pizza in years but Little Caesars is grease looking for a new home.

Mice could swim in the lakes of grease on one of their pizzas.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Fri May 25, 2012, 02:32 PM

14. There is a place near by my house.. that deliver

and every night stay open till ... ready? 3:00 am. My paycheck always comes on the first of the month, around 2am in the morning. Thats the best time to order Pizza from them, because they are not so busy..and do a great job on it.. I always love Payday, because it means a great 2am Pizza!

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Fri May 25, 2012, 03:19 PM

15. Papa John's is the worst

Their sauce tastes like they just poured a can of tomato sauce on the crust. Even my kids wouldn't eat it. Little Caesar's is not much better, never enough sauce or cheese, but at least the sauce has some flavor.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Fri May 25, 2012, 03:48 PM

16. I actually like Round Table, but the rest on that list suck. Especially Pizza Hut.

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Response to Initech (Reply #16)

Fri May 25, 2012, 03:55 PM

17. I was shocked at how bad Pizza Hut was

I attended a potluck dinner and one of the people brought a Pizza Hut pizza. All of the bad press I'd heard about them was true.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Reply #17)

Fri May 25, 2012, 04:55 PM

18. Yeah the one by my house closed and turned into a far better burger joint.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Reply #17)

Fri May 25, 2012, 07:46 PM

24. Once my neice dragged me to Pizza Hut.

When I saw that their artistically-perfect golden-brown crust got that way from paint coming out of a aerosol spray can, my blood ran cold.

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Response to Initech (Reply #16)

Sat May 26, 2012, 06:32 PM

48. I'm stunned Pizza Hut isn't in first place, to be honest.

I'm not a pizza snob and I'll eat the hell out of everything on that list. Except Pizza Hut.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Fri May 25, 2012, 05:27 PM

20. Anyone in Texas or thereabouts ever try Pizza Patron?

It's a regional chain catering largely to Latin@ customers. Recently it made FReepers' heads explode when it offered free pizza on one night to anyone who ordered en espanol. So I figure it's gotta have something going for it!

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Fri May 25, 2012, 06:25 PM

21. Why isn't Chuck-E-Cheese listed there as an option?

In addition to being the crappiest pizza around, the adult torture there makes it a "grin and bear it" experience. Somehow kids like the place and will consume the pizza. Somewhat.

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Response to mwooldri (Reply #21)

Fri May 25, 2012, 09:01 PM

28. And it's a wretched hive of scum and villainy.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122878081364889613.html

In Brookfield, Wis., no restaurant has triggered more calls to the police department since last year than Chuck E. Cheese's.

Officers have been called to break up 12 fights, some of them physical, at the child-oriented pizza parlor since January 2007. The biggest melee broke out in April, when an uninvited adult disrupted a child's birthday party. Seven officers arrived and found as many as 40 people knocking over chairs and yelling in front of the restaurant's music stage, where a robotic singing chicken and the chain's namesake mouse perform.

Chuck E. Cheese's bills itself as a place "where a kid can be a kid." But to law-enforcement officials across the country, it has a more particular distinction: the scene of a surprising amount of disorderly conduct and battery among grown-ups.

"The biggest problem is you have a bunch of adults acting like juveniles," says Town of Brookfield Police Capt. Timothy Imler. "There's a biker bar down the street, and we rarely get calls there."


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Response to LeftyMom (Reply #28)

Sat May 26, 2012, 04:26 PM

44. "A wretched hive of scum and villainy."

OMG, that is priceless and I am stealing it.

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Response to LeftyMom (Reply #28)

Mon May 28, 2012, 08:29 AM

62. Because there are assholes that cannot bottle the Drama for one hour for a kids party.

Reality TV is enabling the freaks who haven't emotionally matured beyond middle school to think that shit is acceptable behavior.

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Response to mwooldri (Reply #21)

Sat May 26, 2012, 05:44 PM

47. I just forgot it, but had room for one mowe, so I just added it...thanks.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Fri May 25, 2012, 07:35 PM

22. Fuck Papa John's.

OK pizza, but I live by more than pizza.

And Mitt Rmoney wants to end all that.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Fri May 25, 2012, 07:42 PM

23. Never buy chain store pizza.

I've got three marvelous, world-class independently-owned & owner-operated local pizza shops within walking distance of my house.

There's a Pizza hut, too - but the parking lot is always empty.

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Response to baldguy (Reply #23)

Fri May 25, 2012, 08:17 PM

27. There is a SHITLOAD over by me.

Modern Pizza, Pepe's Pizza, Roseland Pizza... tons of them, Apizza Place... lots more than I can even think of.


Hell, we have a BRICK PIZZA OVEN mounted on a FIRE TRUCK!!!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Fire-Engine-Pizza-Co/112083465546664






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Response to krispos42 (Reply #27)

Fri May 25, 2012, 11:57 PM

32. haha! That's pretty friggin awesome.

I wonder if they'd drive it to Florida...I would do everything I could to get a job at Dominos or Papa Johns and then call Fire Engine Pizza and have them deliver it to me at work and be all "See ya suckers! I got a real pizza!"

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Response to krispos42 (Reply #27)

Sat May 26, 2012, 06:52 PM

49. In my neck of the woods, Pepe's (Yonkers), Amore, Frank and Fanucci's

No fucking way someone from the Northeast US with any brains will patronize a national chain pizza place.

And as for Pepe's, it has to be the white clam pizza (or the fresh tomato pizza in summer)
or it's NO DICE. That and a Tuscan salad and a Foxon's soda.

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Response to DinahMoeHum (Reply #49)

Sun May 27, 2012, 12:27 AM

52. Great, now I want pizza! n/t

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Response to baldguy (Reply #23)

Mon May 28, 2012, 03:44 AM

60. Nice advice IF you have good non-chain pizza places in your area

I must drive 45 miles in one direction to get respectable non-chain pizza--we HAVE a non-chain place here, it belongs to the company I work for, but the pizza is made to the Big Boss's taste, and the Big Boss apparently has a problem with seasonings.

In Coeur d'Alene, the best pizza comes from Papa Murphy's Take & Bake...which I boycott on the principle that if I'm going to a restaurant to get pizza, they're going to cook it.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Fri May 25, 2012, 08:07 PM

25. I don't remember any bad tasting pizza either.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Fri May 25, 2012, 08:12 PM

26. I live in Chicago and I do home nursing. I see about 5 patients a day. I often

get to try different pizza slices from different family owned places across the city and suburbs and I just can't understand why anyone
would go to pizza hut or domino's in Chicago. (I shouldn't say that. I do know that even $3 or $4 slices can be too much on a tight budget. I'm
lucky to have my nursing job.)

Actually, I don't know if I've eaten at any of the chain restaurants mentioned.

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Response to mucifer (Reply #26)

Sat May 26, 2012, 02:36 AM

37. Chicago has smaller chains that are both cheaper and better though.

I remember there was a chain called something like Papa Romeo's which was dirt-cheap, but way better that Papa John's, Pizza Hut, etc. We ordered from there all the time in college, since it was rare that we could afford something like Giordano's.

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Response to harmonicon (Reply #37)

Sat May 26, 2012, 04:38 AM

38. and Bacci's is a pretty good chain pizzaria

$5 for a HUGE slice and a tiny cup of coke

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Response to mucifer (Reply #38)

Sat May 26, 2012, 11:00 AM

42. Is Jake's still around.

That used to be our Friday night staple. Sausage and mushroom on a nice, thin crust. Contrary to popular belief, not all Chicago-style pizza is deep-dish or on a thick crust.

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Response to harmonicon (Reply #37)

Sat May 26, 2012, 04:30 PM

45. Lou Malnati's. Oh lordy, I would cut off a toe for a Malnati's here

in Minneapolis. Giordano's is pizza of the gods, and I am NY style guy.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Fri May 25, 2012, 10:49 PM

29. Couldn't pay me enough to eat ANY pizza from any of those places. BUT

as for the question, the worst one I've ever had was Domino's.

I was a pizza cook in high school for a little over a year at a local pub. It's really not that hard to make a good pie.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Fri May 25, 2012, 10:53 PM

30. Papa Murphy's

Papa Murphy's has, by a wide margin, the worst crust and the blandest sauce I've ever had on any pizza. Most frozen pizzas are far superior to Papa Murphy's.

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Response to fifthoffive (Reply #30)

Sun May 27, 2012, 03:37 PM

58. Get over here for an ass-kicking!

I love Papa Murphy's!

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Response to Odin2005 (Reply #58)

Mon May 28, 2012, 04:32 PM

65. Me too.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Fri May 25, 2012, 11:19 PM

31. I still have nightmares about what Sbarro tried to pass off

as sausage on their pizza.


rocktivity

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Sat May 26, 2012, 01:22 AM

33. Pizza Plus...it's a local chain and it fits your description to a tee. n/t

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Sat May 26, 2012, 01:27 AM

34. Papa John's probably has the worst crust I've ever tasted...

The other ingredients weren't bad, though.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Sat May 26, 2012, 01:39 AM

35. Fortunately, I can't answer this question.

 

I've never had any of them.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Sat May 26, 2012, 02:25 AM

36. I've not even heard of most of those, so I pass.

Papa John's is not very good, but here in the UK, it's one of the best pizzas you can get. Pizza Hut is a real treat. I never thought I would write those words before I moved to England.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Sat May 26, 2012, 05:34 AM

39. Pizza From Orange Julius

 

Those of us of a certain age remember pizza from what at one time was pretty much the ONLY food option in a mall in America.

I don't even think it was pizza.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Sat May 26, 2012, 05:35 AM

40. Definitely Abomino's

as a deceased friend of mine used to call it

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Response to kentauros (Reply #40)

Sun May 27, 2012, 01:23 AM

54. Have you tried it since their reputed "improvements?"

On one hand, they raised my curiosity. On the other, marketing is what I do for a living, so I haven't tried any of their new stuff.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Reply #54)

Sun May 27, 2012, 01:40 AM

55. No, I haven't.

Mainly because I'm happy with a Canadian chain I like called Sarpino's

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Sat May 26, 2012, 10:40 AM

41. Voted for Sbarro but they're all bad.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Sat May 26, 2012, 11:04 AM

43. Pizza Slut is just gross on all levels.

 

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Sat May 26, 2012, 05:25 PM

46. Papa John's tastes gross

I have tried PJ's 3 or 4 times, each from different locations and every time it was inedible. The sauce is the worst part, but even the crust is disgusting.

Even my parrot won't eat it and she LOVES pizza! Don't worry, pizza is only an occasional treat!

At my job, they will sometimes order pizza for us....luckily I was able to convince them to stop ordering PJ at my request. Yayyy!

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Response to Digit (Reply #46)

Sun May 27, 2012, 11:35 AM

56. Agreed.

Who wants sweet sauce? blech.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Sat May 26, 2012, 06:55 PM

50. All terrible

but I voted Upchuck Cheese. Not only is what they call pizza horrible but the place is a breeding ground for every virus known to man.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Sat May 26, 2012, 10:27 PM

51. I remember when McDonald's tried to do pizza

They were pretty lousy

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Sun May 27, 2012, 12:31 AM

53. Papa John's is the worst IMO, but they're all fine in a pinch

When its ingredients are mainly dough and fat, it's hard for it to be awful. Papa John's just has the least flavor of all of them, IMO.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Sun May 27, 2012, 03:36 PM

57. Little Caesar's tastes like a cheap frozen pizza.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Mon May 28, 2012, 08:23 AM

61. "Papa John's: Not even once"

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Mon May 28, 2012, 09:07 AM

63. Had to go Sparro. Too oily.

I actually love Little Caesar's.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Mon May 28, 2012, 04:15 PM

64. I don't eat pizza, except to be polite. They're all crap.

It's a heart attack in a box. Loaded with sodium and cholesterol and starch. I literally baloon up the day after eating pizza, from all the sodium.

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Response to Amerigo Vespucci (Original post)

Sun Jul 8, 2012, 04:45 AM

66. I'm so much of a pizza-lover

that I have yet to come across pizza that I don't like. So far, I have tried Domino's, Round Table, Little Caesars, Pizza Hut, and Papa Murphy's. And they all tasted great. I haven't tried the others.

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