New Rising MSRNC "Star" Ann S.E. Coulter-Cupp Introduces Herself. Air Sickess Bags To Your Left.

If you don’t know me, I’m an author, a political columnist, and a conservative television commentator. I live in New York City, I love board games, and my favorite food is macaroni and cheese. I’m also a terrible person.

You should know this about me now, because it will lessen the blow later when I gradually reveal all of my grotesque short-comings over the course of our relationship here at The Daily Caller. I figure, if I’m upfront with you at the beginning, you will come to hate me only slightly less. It’s that modicum of tolerance that I hope I can eventually turn into a shred of acceptance, and then later maybe that will become a snippet of appreciation. But that may just be wishful thinking.

So let’s pretend we’re on our first date, and we’re getting to know each other. You are sitting across the table from me at some trendy, low-lit, beautiful-people lounge that you picked and I probably hate. You’re sipping from a glass of small-batch bourbon that you ordered to prove how “old-school” you are, and I’m sipping from a glass of small-batch bourbon because that’s what I drink. In the first five minutes you’ve been sure to let me know you’re a banker/lawyer/politico and I’m immediately regretting my pledge never to go out with a banker/lawyer/politico, and as you talk I’m imagining myself fishing the salmon run in Alaska (you’re not there).