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Mon Dec 17, 2012, 09:17 AM

Mom says 'I am Adam Lanza's mother,' details life with terrifying son

In the post-Newtown debate over mental illness, a distraught and exhausted mother has written a chilling article describing life with her troubled son and the health care system's shortage of options. The boy, "Michael," remains undiagnosed, and despite medication he continues to exhibit a hair-trigger temper. His mother says Michael shares characteristics with gunman Adam Lanza and other mass killers, and during his unpredictable episodes he makes frightening and violent threats. The mother's lack of help is typified by her meeting with a social worker who informed her that their best option is to get Michael charged with a crime, because "That’s the only way you’re ever going to get anything done. No one will pay attention to you unless you’ve got charges."

The entire article is republished below with permission from "The Blue Review."

Friday’s horrific national tragedy—the murder of 20 children and six adults at Sandy Hook Elementary School in New Town, Connecticut—has ignited a new discussion on violence in America. In kitchens and coffee shops across the country, we tearfully debate the many faces of violence in America: gun culture, media violence, lack of mental health services, overt and covert wars abroad, religion, politics and the way we raise our children. Liza Long, a writer based in Boise, says it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.

Three days before 20 year-old Adam Lanza killed his mother, then opened fire on a classroom full of Connecticut kindergartners, my 13-year old son Michael (name changed) missed his bus because he was wearing the wrong color pants.

“I can wear these pants,” he said, his tone increasingly belligerent, the black-hole pupils of his eyes swallowing the blue irises.

http://now.msn.com/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-says-mom-of-mentally-ill-son#scptmfs

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Reply Mom says 'I am Adam Lanza's mother,' details life with terrifying son (Original post)
BridgeTheGap Dec 2012 OP
NYC_SKP Dec 2012 #1
roguevalley Dec 2012 #11
get the red out Dec 2012 #2
Walk away Dec 2012 #3
groovedaddy Dec 2012 #7
iamelisabethparker Dec 2012 #4
hrmjustin Dec 2012 #5
Throckmorton Dec 2012 #6
HooptieWagon Dec 2012 #8
davidpdx Dec 2012 #12
mzmolly Dec 2012 #9
Myrina Dec 2012 #10

Response to BridgeTheGap (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2012, 09:31 AM

1. Great article, but so sad. Nt

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Response to NYC_SKP (Reply #1)

Tue Dec 18, 2012, 01:34 AM

11. apparently that boy couldn't feel pain like you and I. I remember seeing a show

about a little girl who was born without the ability to feel pain. She had to have her eyes sewn shut as a baby because she was poking her eyes out.

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Response to BridgeTheGap (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2012, 09:49 AM

2. Parents need help

Parents of kids with these problems need serious help. We don't need to just shrug our shoulders and expect them to fix it. Serious help needs to be redily available for them. It would benefit our entire society.

I can't imagine living like that. I'm grateful I never had children, personally, but living with a child with problems like that....what a hell to go through. We don't need to sweep it under the carpet and make these parents and their kids invisible until the so-called unthinkable happens again.

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Response to BridgeTheGap (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2012, 09:51 AM

3. Ah yes, the new NRA talking point. Guns don't kill. The mentally ill kill.

This is how every discussion I have had with a puke has ended this week. "Anyone who would kill so many people is obviously mentally ill. Therefore, we need to identify these folks and subdue them in some way before they become violent."

I can already see where this would be going if I thought America could pay attention to this entire subject for more than a few weeks.

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Response to Walk away (Reply #3)

Mon Dec 17, 2012, 12:34 PM

7. It is a tragedy. But so is a drone strike on a school. Is the drone operator

mentally ill? No, just following orders.

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Response to BridgeTheGap (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2012, 12:24 PM

4. I can't even imagine how this would feel

My heart goes out to this writer, Adam Lanza's late mother, and all the other parents of mentally ill children -- whom they still fiercely love and who, like all other children, are still beautiful spirits even when things go horribly, horribly wrong.

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Response to iamelisabethparker (Reply #4)

Mon Dec 17, 2012, 12:28 PM

5. At this sad time I welcome you to DU.

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Response to BridgeTheGap (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2012, 12:33 PM

6. Last year I had to start the process of committing my then 16 year old son,

He is autistic and suffers from Schizophrenia and PTSD as a result of his mothers death 9 years ago. He has been and can still be a danger to himself and others. I have spent almost 9 years trying everything that might work to heal him, but I have been unsuccessful. Last fall after assaulting me, he was hospitalized in a locked ward for 6 weeks, then released to my custody. My lawyer and I started the process of civil commitment last February after he turned 17, the legal fight I have been undergoing has been unbelievable, but in September he was sent to a school that deals with unstable youth as a resident. As of Friday, he is committed to the State Department of Mental health and addiction services, under a Superior Court order, possibly for life.

While the horror was unfolding in Sandy Hook, I was 35 miles away, sitting in a courtroom signing my sons freedom away and feeling profoundly sad, almost as if it was his funeral. When I got to the car, I heard the reports coming in on the radio and thought to myself, "This gunman could be my son in a few years", and at that moment I felt strangely better about my decision to move forward with my sweet little boys commitment, before he had the chance to morph into a monster.

Denial in not alway a river in Egypt. Reaching the conclusion that someone whom you love more than your life itself just might be the next Adam Lanza is sobering. I have had excellent advice from some outstanding people, and I hope this works for my son, and all of you.

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Response to Throckmorton (Reply #6)

Mon Dec 17, 2012, 12:58 PM

8. Good post.

A lot of people here are jumping to conclusions, making false assumptions, and spreading misinformation, before all the facts are known.
It IS difficult to commit an individual, even more so if they're 18 or over. And if they had no prior instances of violent behavior, totally impossible.
I salute your persistance in seeing the right thing done. I know it was an incredibly difficult decision.

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Response to Throckmorton (Reply #6)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 07:30 AM

12. That sounds like it was a tough decision to have to do that

I hope he is able to get some help.

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Response to BridgeTheGap (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2012, 01:41 PM

9. Does she too have a boatload of

guns around her son?

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Response to BridgeTheGap (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2012, 01:46 PM

10. ... let's feed our children more GMO food & pump them with chemical-based mood-meds ...

... while we let them spend hours every day playing games like Call of Duty and Mortal Combat ... that'll fix 'em right up.

We're too busy chasing the almighty dollar (for various reasons) to actually spend time with them, get to know them, teach them how to express their emotions safely, and teach them how to negotiate/take no for an answer/accept victory AND defeat.


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