Why I am leaving the Empire, by Darth Vader

[kpete]

Why I am leaving the Empire, by Darth Vader


After almost 12 years, first as a summer intern, then in the Death Star and now in London, I believe I have worked here long enough to understand the trajectory of its culture, its people and its massive, genocidal space machines. And I can honestly say that the environment now is as toxic and destructive as I have ever seen it.

.............

The Empire is one of the galaxy's largest and most important oppressive regimes and it is too integral to galactic murder to continue to act this way. The firm has veered so far from the place I joined right out of Yoda College that I can no longer in good conscience point menacingly and say that I identify with what it stands for.

For more than a decade I recruited and mentored candidates, some of whom were my secret children, through our gruelling interview process. In 2006 I managed the summer intern program in detecting strange disturbances in the Force for the 80 younglings who made the cut.

I knew it was time to leave when I realized I could no longer speak to these students inside their heads and tell them what a great place this was to work.

MUCH MORE:
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=5007&Itemid=81

[d_r]

1. oh please

didn't they see return of the jedi.

[FraDon]

2. k&r • brilliant

n/t

[cbrer]

3. Dear Darth

We feel your pain. Without those influences and capabilites, the Empire must seem much diminished.

But please reconsider. Without your satanic discipline, without your malignant presence, without Pod racing, we are adrift.

If the fear of the black masked, unearthly hissing, unseen tracheal crushing presence is removed, our universe seems tame, raw, blase, dare one suggest...boring?

Give it another try big guy. You might get a Death Star yet!