The Chronicles of Mitt: July 6, 2012
Hello, Human Diary. It is I again, Mitt Romney, your better.
The holiday was quite satisfactory, Mr. Diary. I had something called lemon aid, which is yet another demonstration that the private sector can provide people with medical aid, financial aid, and other kinds of aid without government interference. My initial opinion is that it was lemon, and wet, and good.
In campaign news, my staff has begun planning a new strategy to best elucidate my foreign policy opinions to the general public. Since I was not aware I had any foreign policy opinions, this is both a very simple task and a rather difficult one. The current plan is for me to simply visit some countries that I am expected to have foreign policy opinions on, then state that I have some unspecified opinions about them. Our initial choices for foreign places to visit:
London, for the Olympics. This was an easy decision, because I know many people who do sport, and have had past experience supervising people who do sport. I will no doubt be in my element. As a plus, I will also be able to visit with my horse, who is in sport, and charge the whole thing as a campaign expense.
Israel. It is a requirement that all conservative politicians visit Israel, whether they are in a position to influence Israel-related policy or not. I am not entirely sure how this came to be, but is now a requirement. I believe at this point more Republican candidates have visited Israel than have visited California.
Germany, because I like money, and Germany seems to be the only remaining place in Europe that has any.
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/07/06/1106986/-The-Chronicles-of-Mitt-July-6-2012
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This should be true!
