California restaurant chain to offer burger made of 100% ground bacon

Surely, just one of them couldn't hurt you. At least not too bad.

I can't decide if that thing is amazing or an abomination in defiance of God's will.

I won't be trying one any time soon. But I have several friends who are serious bacon-heads, and they would probably love it.

I even tried the sandwich from KFC that used chicken instead of a bun and had bacon and cheese inside - and *I* wouldn't even try that. An orange chicken burger and a lamburger, however, sound extremely tasty.

Will they ship one down to Sarasota????

No... it doesn't make things taste better. In fact, it's a cop-out for folks knowing how to season correctly.

Heck, more than half the world can't eat pork bacon due to religious and dietary restrictions (Muslims, Jews, vegetarians, vegans and people like me who are allergic to pork).

Now, in-so-far as this rumor about bacon making everything taste better, that is just flat WRONG.

It's BUTTER that makes everything taste better. Hell, "butter" even almost sounds like "better."

I can feel my arteries hardening just THINKING about it!

Call 911 for me... right now!

In all seriousness, I hope it's uncured bacon. That amount of nitrates and nitrites would (seriously) kill me on the spot.

I like the sound of that.

A myth that resulted from decades of aggressive advertising by makers of the fake stuff.

A dairy industry consortium came up with the phrase "It's better with butter!" in the 1970s to try to bolster flagging butter sales.

When people figured out that the margarine fad was based on faulty evidence, butter started selling again on its own merits.

My dad once told me that way long ago, I believe back in the 1940s just after World War II, the dairy industry managed to make it illegal to dye margarine yellow so that it resembled butter. You could buy margarine, but it was off-white and came with a small packet of yellow food coloring. You had to mix it up yourself to make it resemble butter.

CORRECTION: Check this out. I don't have time to read it right now and get my story straight:

http://www.butteryspreads.org/historyofmargarine.php

IIRC, it's still illegal to serve margarine to our prisoners here unless they have a medical condition that requires the use of margarine rather than butter.

That crap goes straight to your arteries and clogs them up.

In case you aren't old enough to remember. It was pushed HARD.

I never liked it. My mom always kept real butter on hand for uses like buttering toast, but she also bought and used margarine because it was inexpensive. Certain brands like Nucoa were especially good for frying food - because of their high saturated fat content. They were basically Crisco with food coloring.

I moved out of my parents' house in 1976 at age 17, and have never bought margarine, or shortening, in my entire life. Julia Child may have saved me.

But Mom never really fell for it. I don't think there was ever any margarine in her house for the last thirty years of her life. However, she did use Crisco for cooking far more than I liked.

Now that I think about it, it was really marketed as a health food, and has been until very recently. I like butter.

When I was an undergraduate living in a co-ed dormitory, one of my neighbors was a 350-pound woman from Iowa. Really nice young lady. Very intelligent, an excellent student and personable.












She had an MGB automobile that somehow she was able to fit in and drive. The suspension on the driver's side was noticeably more worn out than the passenger side. The car tilted visibly to port when it was parked on level ground, empty.













She grew up in a family with several sisters who, along with their mother, were also obese. One of her comfort possessions from home was a large lounge pillow that she had made herself. It was quite nice, large and very comfortable. Its stuffing consisted of hundreds of pairs of used panty hose. They were clean. The thing was amazingly heavy.











Her favorite snack food was popcorn. She made it fresh, and munched on it constantly. Back out now if you can't take it.












She never buttered her popcorn. She would salt it,









...and dip it....









...in...











...Crisco.

I still remember the "it's better with butter" campaign.

I always liked that one.

When it all comes down, we're on our own out here.

Now the meat is MUCH leaner than it used to be. Pigs have also been bred to be longer, so the popular rib portions are larger.

You can either keep them contained, or they'll fuck up your property. Same with goats and sheep.

My Buff Orpington chickens, on the other hand were a real treat to have around... until they found my tomato plants.

Geez, the tradeoffs.

dead of a heart attack.

but what a hell of a way to go.

obese, but free

I don't know whether to eat it or pray to it.

Fear is the appetite-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total indigestion.
I will face my 'merica burger.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the 'merica burger has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

Not to mention drawing all us geeks out too.

Just for that little extra oomph, you know?

that does not benefit from the addition of more bacon.

Sid

The rest of it is perfectly healthy for you.

</rimshot>

Can I have it without the bun, the fake cheese, and whatever the hell is that orange goop?