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Trump did to Merkel what men do to women all the time
Men constantly ignore women but most of the time no one notices it. Except, that is, when it happens on the world stage
A few years ago, my husband and I ran into a mutual acquaintance at a restaurant. This young man a person who would surely identify as progressive spent the entirety our interaction completely ignoring me. He spoke only to my husband; he wouldnt even look at me when I asked a direct question. While it would be tempting to write off the exchange as simple rudeness, this brand of slight is familiar to most women. Perhaps it happens when you go to buy a car and the salesperson only speaks to your male partner. Or when you meet someone at a work event and they only introduce themselves to the male colleague beside you. Or, if youre Angela Merkel, maybe the notoriously misogynist president of the United States refuses to shake your hand or even deign to look at you during a press conference. We hear quite a lot about explicit sexism like cat calls or discrimination, but less overt indignities can be just as infuriating in part, because theyre so hard to explain to those who havent experienced them.
Aziz Ansaris hit Netflix show, Master of None, had a brilliant episode dedicated to just this topic. Ansaris character, Dev, spends the majority of the episode realizing how much sexism women have to deal with: from men following women home and flashing them on subways, to lewd comments on social media. But when Devs girlfriend, Rachel, points out that his director only introduced himself to the men at the table ignoring the two women sitting there he balks slightly. Surely, he says, there was some misunderstanding: The director was in a rush, or Rachel is reading too much into it.
When Dev finally admits that perhaps the interaction was gendered, Rachel explains why what happened was so painful: There are lot of subtle little things that happen to me and all women, even in our little progressive world. And when somebody, especially my boyfriend, tells me Im wrong without having any way of knowing my personal experience, its insulting.
When I tweeted about Trump ignoring Merkel, and how familiar an experience it is to women, dozens chimed in. One said both she and her husband were journalists but men will generally only ask him about his work. Another noted that the bosses on her team are all women, but its the teenage male intern who gets the questions.The assumption, of course, is that the women in the room simply arent important enough to warrant attention or conversation. Its a phenomenon Ive noticed increases as women get older, and ever more invisible.
. . . . .
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/mar/21/trump-did-to-merkel-what-men-do-to-women-all-the-time
HipChick
(25,485 posts)Eliot Rosewater
(31,109 posts)gop men and Putin types, will pretend not to.
Now we know what con men think of women, all of them. What russians think of women, etc.
niyad
(113,213 posts)trof
(54,256 posts)A few days ago we had a car towed to our mechanic. Miz t. was the first one out the door when the tow truck arrived.
I walked out a few minutes later.
After he left she said
"Did you notice that as soon as you came out he started talking to you and no longer to me?"
I hadn't noticed, but she was right.
niyad
(113,213 posts)bettyellen
(47,209 posts)I had cash on hand and knew exactly what I wanted. One would not get off an obviously meandering personal call, seemed pissed off that I hovered around waiting. Another made endless excuses about allowing me a test drive.
So I contacted a few via email.... when I used the name Bert instead of Betty I got faster replies and 15-20% better prices! Bert got me the car I wanted. Betty was treated like shit.
niyad
(113,213 posts)was going to show me, despite my very clear explanations. I had a little chat with the mgr, explaining why I would not be purchasing a car from that dealership.
bettyellen
(47,209 posts)And I told them that I'd put a lot of thought into it already and wanted what I wanted. They were trying to push me to something they had too much stock of. Ugh, it was all too insulting. Seventeen years later- still have that car! And love it.
niyad
(113,213 posts)bettyellen
(47,209 posts)My mom who was in the hospital. I always use public transportation for work so this was a lot - about 12 hours a week - all after work days, and very uncomfortable and unpleasant. So I needed to make those hours a hell of a lot more pleasant to save my sanity. And it did.
So- thank you!
niyad
(113,213 posts)bettyellen
(47,209 posts)He was like- you're Bert? I said "Typo"! LOL
RedWedge
(618 posts)even the most progressive man to shake it off sometimes.
niyad
(113,213 posts)RedWedge
(618 posts)Kimchijeon
(1,606 posts)...there's no way he didn't hear the request, he blatantly snubbed her.
niyad
(113,213 posts)decorum or protocol.