2019: Former Republican House Member Applies for Job as Used Car Salesman

[MineralMan]

Dealership Owner: So, I have to ask. What experience do you have in sales?

Congressman: Well, I've been selling complete bullshit to people for 16 years, so selling cars can't be that different.

Dealer: Well, we sell used cars. They sometimes have problems. How will you get past those problems.

Congressman: Same answer, really. I'm used to glossing over problems when I talk to people.

Dealer: Due to the nature of our clientele, our car loans don't have the best interest rates. How would you handle that?

Congressman: Hell, man, I've been selling useless budget expenditures forever. I'll just talk low monthly payments, and leave it at that.

Dealer: We count on our salesmen to work their friends and acquaintances and sell to them. Can you do that?

Congressman: Look, I've sold myself to my constituents over and over again. I know how to sell crap to anyone.

Dealer: I think you're just the man I'm looking for. You're hired!

Congressman: Say, thanks. By the way, I can only work three days a week. I have several other grifting jobs.

Dealer: No problem. You'll be working on commission, so come in when it's convenient. Just sell cars, and you'll do fine!

[bluecollar2]

1. kick...n/t