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Wed Jun 27, 2012, 02:45 AM

Why do fundamentalist Christians support the Loch Ness Monster?

Schoolchildren in Louisiana are to be taught that the Loch Ness Monster is real and that this proves the theory of evolution is false. I know. Al-Qaida’s like, “We’re trying way too hard.”

Accelerated Christian Education, or ACE, has published a new biology textbook that will teach children that the existence of the Loch Ness Monster — which, as we all know, is completely real (here’s a photo, I have proof) — proves that man coexists with dinosaurs and that science, specifically evolution, is a myth. Like global warming, separation of church and state, and female sexual pleasure.

And get this: Thousands of students in Louisiana are eligible to receive taxpayer-funded vouchers to attend private Christian schools that teach this Loch-Ness-Monster-disproving-evolution thing, thanks to a bill pushed through by Bobby Jindal, boy governor.

http://current.com/shows/viewpoint/videos/why-do-fundamentalist-christians-support-the-loch-ness-monster-john-fugelsang-explains/


The video is posted at the link. These people are insane.

20 replies, 2162 views

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Reply Why do fundamentalist Christians support the Loch Ness Monster? (Original post)
ohheckyeah Jun 2012 OP
LAGC Jun 2012 #1
yellowcanine Jun 2012 #10
yellowcanine Jun 2012 #11
treestar Jun 2012 #17
yellowcanine Jun 2012 #18
bluestateguy Jun 2012 #2
JHB Jun 2012 #6
Xyzse Jun 2012 #9
thecrow Jun 2012 #3
Swagman Jun 2012 #4
Tyrs WolfDaemon Jun 2012 #5
muriel_volestrangler Jun 2012 #7
BlueToTheBone Jun 2012 #8
yellowcanine Jun 2012 #12
NightWatcher Jun 2012 #13
mysuzuki2 Jun 2012 #14
Nuclear Unicorn Jun 2012 #15
Vidar Jun 2012 #16
hifiguy Jun 2012 #19
ohheckyeah Jun 2012 #20

Response to ohheckyeah (Original post)

Wed Jun 27, 2012, 03:03 AM

1. 14 years ago, a co-worker of mine invited me to her fundie indy-Baptist church to hear a lecture...

...and it was about this very topic.

Not only did they believe dinosaurs roamed the earth along with early humans, but that the dragons mentioned in medieval lore were real creatures as well.

And "Nessie" isn't the only dinosaur remaining. There are more, still roaming in other large bodies of water...



I had to restrain myself from asking the speaker afterward if Jesus himself rode on one...


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Response to LAGC (Reply #1)

Wed Jun 27, 2012, 10:46 AM

10. Jesus rode on a dinosaur? Maybe the donkey's name was Dino.

Dino the donkey.

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Response to LAGC (Reply #1)

Wed Jun 27, 2012, 10:47 AM

11. Check out the coloring hints......knee slapper right there...

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Response to yellowcanine (Reply #11)

Wed Jun 27, 2012, 12:12 PM

17. there is a crayon for "flesh of Christ"

OMG! Don't use an unapproved color! Look how "white" it is!

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Response to treestar (Reply #17)

Wed Jun 27, 2012, 12:18 PM

18. "Rapturous red" is my favorite. If I were a kid I would be splashing that everywhere.

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Response to ohheckyeah (Original post)

Wed Jun 27, 2012, 03:06 AM

2. Does this book actually talk about female sexual pleasure?

nt

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Response to bluestateguy (Reply #2)

Wed Jun 27, 2012, 05:49 AM

6. Doubtful, he's just grouping it with things fundys think are myths.

A myth designed to lure women out of their divinely-ordained role, spread by Satan and his liberal minions! WooooOOOOOOoooooo!

When your foil is an infinitely-devious immortal, all sorts of wacky plot lines seem plausible.

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Response to JHB (Reply #6)

Wed Jun 27, 2012, 09:16 AM

9. Wait wait wait!

Are you saying that to a Fundie, that Female Sexual Pleasure is a myth?

That explains a lot of things...

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Response to ohheckyeah (Original post)

Wed Jun 27, 2012, 03:35 AM

3. Because they believe in unseen things,


it's not much of a stretch to pile on to believing that Nessie is real.

And besides, because they believe in unseen things, they like to believe that they are in control of ALL unseen things.
It's crazy that they are teaching this as truth to children.

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Response to ohheckyeah (Original post)

Wed Jun 27, 2012, 05:13 AM

4. sometimes there is just nothing to say about these wacky matters



..except my dear late Scot's born father used to say "the more Scotch you drink the more likely you are to see Nessie"

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Response to ohheckyeah (Original post)

Wed Jun 27, 2012, 05:29 AM

5. True Story:

Ages ago, a girl working at my father's law firm believed that humans and dinos lived together. She was so convinced about the concept and refused to believe the truth for a very long time. Her reasoning was mainly based on the Flintstones cartoon (being raised in a fundy home probably didn't help). Even though I was just a little kid at the time, I recall thinking that schooling had come a long way since I learned that dinos lived ages before man in kindergarten or earlier.

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Response to ohheckyeah (Original post)

Wed Jun 27, 2012, 07:59 AM

7. They've gone on expeditions to find living pterosaurs

Carl Baugh opened his Creation Evidence Museum in the 1980s near Dinosaur Valley State Park in Glen Rose, Texas, where some people said fossilized dinosaur tracks and human footprints crisscrossed contemporaneously. The Texas museum sponsors a continuing hunt for living pterodactyls in Papua New Guinea. Baugh said five colleagues have spotted the flying dinosaurs, "but all the sightings were made after dark, and we were not able to capture the creatures."

http://articles.latimes.com/2005/aug/27/local/me-dinosaurs27


I came across that when I was searching for this spoof - which actually explains why they're invested in this crap:

"Rejoice not thou, whole Palestina, because the rod of him that smote thee is broken: for out of the cockatrice, and his fruit shall be a fiery flying serpent." (Isaiah 14:29)

"The burden of the beasts of the south: into the land of trouble and anguish, from whence come the young and old lion, the viper and fiery flying serpent, they will carry their riches upon the shoulders of young asses, and their treasures upon the bunches of camels, to a people that shall not profit them." (Isaiah 30:6)

http://objectiveministries.org/creation/pterosaurs.html


(While other versions of the bible may not talk about 'flying serpents', to these guys, the KJV is divinely inspired and inerrant). We also have the 'behemoth' in Job identified as a sauropod, anbd 'leviathan' with the Loch Ness Monster. They not only want to say "nerr, nerr, Nessie means there's no such thing as evolution" (no matter that it's a non sequitur), they are also desperate for something to back up medieval translations of Iron Age myths.

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Response to ohheckyeah (Original post)

Wed Jun 27, 2012, 08:04 AM

8. I had a friend whose family was from Louisanna

and he brought them to NW Arkansas for a visit. As they were passing Russellville and its nuclear plant, he called out, "Look, that's where Homer Simpson works!" They all looked and said how cool that was. Then he reminded them that Homer is a cartoon character. On the way back, he used the same gambit and they fell for it again!

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Response to ohheckyeah (Original post)

Wed Jun 27, 2012, 10:50 AM

12. Financial support? How does that work?

I am confused. Regardless, someone needs to ask Bobby Jindal if he thinks state money should be used to teach children that man and dinosaurs coexisted.

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Response to ohheckyeah (Original post)

Wed Jun 27, 2012, 10:54 AM

13. its just like the sudden pop up of Creation Museums whose sole purpose is to show that dinosaurs

and men lived together in "Bible times". They've given up trying to refute other proof that the planet is older than a few thousand years.

Another claim they like to make is that because reptiles never stop growing, dinos could really be nothing more than big ol lizards that just happened to live a long time.

As Patton Oswalt says when confronted by a religious fundie who denies science because of the bible, "I'm glad you like a book", but that doesnt make it real

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Response to ohheckyeah (Original post)

Wed Jun 27, 2012, 11:53 AM

14. I think it is much more likely that Nessie exists than

that christian theology is true.

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Response to ohheckyeah (Original post)

Wed Jun 27, 2012, 12:06 PM

15. And bigfoot tracks prove

how hard it is to find plus-sized shoes.

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Response to ohheckyeah (Original post)

Wed Jun 27, 2012, 12:08 PM

16. Because the Christian Soldiers may need may need a Biblically

approved submarine (cf Jonah and the whale).

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Response to ohheckyeah (Original post)

Wed Jun 27, 2012, 12:20 PM

19. The brain shrivels.

Fundymentalpatient religion is the leading cause of preventable mental illness.

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Response to ohheckyeah (Original post)

Wed Jun 27, 2012, 03:07 PM

20. I don't even get why this belief is important to them.

The Bible doesn't teach the earth is only 6,000 years old. There's absolutely nothing rational about it.

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