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Top 10 Conservative Idiots #10: Tarp Man (Or: The Unexpected Virtue Of Cowardice) Edition
Last edited Mon Jan 11, 2016, 05:39 PM - Edit history (1)
Top 10 Conservative Idiots #10: Tarp Man (Or: The Unexpected Virtue Of Cowardice) Edition
Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! And this is our 10th edition! So I ask conservatives “how do you like them apples?”. Me? I like mine preferably sliced and served in some kind of pie crust with filling, topped with a mixture of bread crumbs and brown sugar, then warmed and served with a giant scoop of ice cream. Because I am a huge fan of ultra high calorie deserts. Whew, this is a marathon edition here, folks! It's almost two editions in one because there was so much idiocy this week! So much that it was almost impossible to capture this week's edition in 10 short entries so we'll do our best! And yes to the grammar Nazis out there, I do realize that I used an over-abundance of exclamation points. To recap last week – we called Donald Trump out on his ties to a potentially dangerous cocktail of supporters including Neo Nazis and Infowars, caught Ted Cruz in a logic fail, took a look at some batshit crazy religious idiots, saw Mattel encourage kids to experiment on animals, and paid tribute to Motorhead's late founder Lemmy Kilmeister. To start this edition, this one image very perfectly captures the madness of this whole thing in one very simple picture:
You know why I do these, folks? Because the holidays may be long gone, but conservative idiocy is the gift that keeps on giving all year around. After putting together last week's edition, I had an entirely different idea for this weeks but it got tossed out the window. Why? Because just after the new year began, a group of armed Christian militants led by the son of everyone's favorite gun slinging rancher and discount Clint Eastwood character Cliven Bundy took over an abandoned bird sancutary in Oregon because... reasons. And Jesus. So with that we're going to devote the top 2 slots to Ammon Bundy (1, 2) and take a look at what makes that militia tick. There is a lot of ground to cover on the first two entries so bare with us. But there is also a lot of stupidity associated with this mess. Meanwhile, CNN (3) is giving an absolutely shocking and in no way at all racist meme as to why the members of the "militia" shouldn't be made to serve time. In non Oregon news, Ted Cruz (4) once again makes an appearance and this time he's very badly trying to win God's approval in the 2016 election. Donald Trump (5) appears in a terrorist recruitment video, for a real terrorist group. At number six, Marco Rubio (6) is shocked when he's labeled a bigot for opposing LGBT rights. Who would have guessed? In the seventh slot, just when you thought Josh Duggar's woes were over, along comes Hobby Lobby and Bill Gothard (7) who are only making things worse. Next, Carly Fiorina (8) manages to do one thing you should never do when your alma matter is in a crucial game and that's pander to the other team! In SCOTUS news, Emperor Palpatine, er, Antonin Scalia (9) is back and wants to cram something down your throat, and you're not going to like it. Finally to cap this edition, we've got another new feature for you here in the Top 10. We're going to take a look at some real-life, every day Trump supporters (10), and we go to Tennessee for this one. This is one of those "you can't make this shit up" types of stories. So let's get right down to it, shall we? Enjoy! And as always don't forget the key!
[font size="8"]Ammon Bundy[/font]
Red Dawn 1984 – the Soviet Empire takes over an American city which causes a group of city kids to stage a resistance to the terrorists, take up arms, and fight their way back because that's what any red blooded American would do! Red Dawn 2016 – a group of heavily armed American citizens, angry at the government which they think abondoned them, decide to fight back against a corrupt establishment by occupying an abandoned bird sanctuary for an extended period of time, because... that's what... any red blooded American... would do? If you think the latter movie sounds absolutely ridiculous, well, I got news for you – this ain't a movie. This actually happened!
A group of anti-government militia members have occupied the headquarters and visitors center of Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Harney County, Ore., apparently seeking to provoke a standoff with the federal government.
Several of the right-wing militia members are sons of Cliven Bundy, a Nevada cattle rancher whose fight with the U.S. Bureau of Land Management sparked an armed confrontation with federal officials in 2014.
Militia members have been traveling to the town of Burns, Ore. in recent weeks in support of Harney County rancher Dwight Hammond, Jr. and his son Steven Hammond, who in 2012 were convicted of arson for setting fires on federal land where they had poached deer. (The wildfires burned 139 acres of Bureau of Land Management property in 2001.)
In October, a federal judge sentenced the pair to five years in prison.
http://www.wweek.com/2016/01/02/militia-group-takes-over-federal-building-in-eastern-oregon-because-the-lord-was-not-pleased/
Several of the right-wing militia members are sons of Cliven Bundy, a Nevada cattle rancher whose fight with the U.S. Bureau of Land Management sparked an armed confrontation with federal officials in 2014.
Militia members have been traveling to the town of Burns, Ore. in recent weeks in support of Harney County rancher Dwight Hammond, Jr. and his son Steven Hammond, who in 2012 were convicted of arson for setting fires on federal land where they had poached deer. (The wildfires burned 139 acres of Bureau of Land Management property in 2001.)
In October, a federal judge sentenced the pair to five years in prison.
http://www.wweek.com/2016/01/02/militia-group-takes-over-federal-building-in-eastern-oregon-because-the-lord-was-not-pleased/
So the reasons for occupying the bird sanctuary were Jesus, and... um... yeah let's just go with Jesus for this one. But were they armed or not armed? Most of the reports say “armed” at this point. But there's some saying “not armed”:
Oregon militants in high spirits, ready for long wait at refuge, supporter says
by Noelle Crombie * Jan. 3, 2016 * The Oregonian (Oregonlive.com)
A 42-year-old Washington woman who has met twice this weekend with men occupying the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge headquarters said the group's spirits are high and they are prepared to remain in the eastern Oregon outpost for "many years."
Maureen Peltier, a disabled veteran, staff sergeant with the Washington Army National Guard and a member of the so-called patriot movement, traveled from her home in Bonny Lake to Burns this weekend to take part in Saturday's protest of the federal government's criminal case against a pair of Harney County ranchers. By Saturday night, leaders of the protest effort had taken over a facility at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge.
Peltier said she met with several protesters at the gate to the refuge then later at a Burns hotel. She posted about the encounters on Facebook, saying the group is "doing very well."
http://www.oregonlive.com/pacific-northwest-news/index.ssf/2016/01/oregon_militants_in_high_spiri.html#incart_river_index
by Noelle Crombie * Jan. 3, 2016 * The Oregonian (Oregonlive.com)
A 42-year-old Washington woman who has met twice this weekend with men occupying the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge headquarters said the group's spirits are high and they are prepared to remain in the eastern Oregon outpost for "many years."
Maureen Peltier, a disabled veteran, staff sergeant with the Washington Army National Guard and a member of the so-called patriot movement, traveled from her home in Bonny Lake to Burns this weekend to take part in Saturday's protest of the federal government's criminal case against a pair of Harney County ranchers. By Saturday night, leaders of the protest effort had taken over a facility at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge.
Peltier said she met with several protesters at the gate to the refuge then later at a Burns hotel. She posted about the encounters on Facebook, saying the group is "doing very well."
http://www.oregonlive.com/pacific-northwest-news/index.ssf/2016/01/oregon_militants_in_high_spiri.html#incart_river_index
But then here's the count where it says that they're absolutely armed and that they're in it for the long haul – even if it means death. This is where it gets weird, folks:
‘I didn’t come here to shoot, I came here to die’: Oregon militia occupiers fess up to local reporters
Writing for OPB, Amanda Peacher stated that early estimates of 150 occupiers are wildly inflated, saying, “only a few dozen men are occupying the federal building.”
According to Peacher, federal employees were advised to stay clear of the refuge, in a memo that read: “Our top concern is employee safety. All employees are accounted for, and the Refuge will be closed until further notice. Employees of all land management agencies in the area will operate from alternate worksites, telework, or administrative leave.”
Outside of the refuge, she interviewed one militia member — identifying himself only as “Capt. Moroni” — who told her, “I didn’t come here to shoot, I came here to die
http://www.rawstory.com/2016/01/i-didnt-come-here-to-shoot-i-came-here-to-die-oregon-militia-occupiers-fess-up-to-local-reporters/#.VomffFjOBWI.facebook
Writing for OPB, Amanda Peacher stated that early estimates of 150 occupiers are wildly inflated, saying, “only a few dozen men are occupying the federal building.”
According to Peacher, federal employees were advised to stay clear of the refuge, in a memo that read: “Our top concern is employee safety. All employees are accounted for, and the Refuge will be closed until further notice. Employees of all land management agencies in the area will operate from alternate worksites, telework, or administrative leave.”
Outside of the refuge, she interviewed one militia member — identifying himself only as “Capt. Moroni” — who told her, “I didn’t come here to shoot, I came here to die
http://www.rawstory.com/2016/01/i-didnt-come-here-to-shoot-i-came-here-to-die-oregon-militia-occupiers-fess-up-to-local-reporters/#.VomffFjOBWI.facebook
So how does this end? First off, that Capt. Moroni, should drop the "i" from his name. Well it could either end violently or not violently. Do they have guns or do they not have guns? We may not know without more details. We could play a game of Mad Libs here but I don't have enough room for this entry.
Oh and by the way – if you haven't checked out Twitter regarding this matter, you might want to – there’s a lot of good stuff happening there right now. I fucking love Twitter for this sort of thing – the "militia" is getting trolled and trolled hard. There’s everything from creative nicknaming going on to video parodies of the "Daddy’s Sworn Oath" video, creative memes and lots more that there isn't enough room to post here. And I do have to mention the Decemberists - I love this band, and the group's lead singer Colin Meloy has been trolling the group extensively hard.
[font size="8"]Ammon Bundy[/font]
This entire occupation was very poorly planned. If they're going to be "in it for the long haul" like they claimed in the last entry, they forgot to bring some shit with them, like crucial supplies like snacks and working toilets.
On Thursday Blaine Cooper, one of the anti-government terrorists who is participating in the armed takeover of a bird sanctuary in Oregon, put out a call for snacks on social media.
According to the terrorist group, now known as Ya’llQueda, the armed militants decided to seize the more than 100 year old wildlife refuge because it is a symbol of everything that is wrong in America, such as not being able to set fire to public lands, turn your freeloading cattle loose to feed off American taxpayers, or even ride your ATV through ancient archaeological sites, the way, according to Ammon Bundy “we used to could do.”
The Malheur National Wildlife Refuge was established in 1908. ATV’s came on the market in the U.S. in the 1960’s. The stupidity of right wing extremism is timeless.
In case you needed more proof that this is the dumbest armed takeover of a bird sanctuary EVER, the anti-government terrorists who told America that they plan to stay holed up inside the visitor’s building of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge “for as long as it takes,” even “for years,” are asking people to send snacks.
http://www.addictinginfo.org/2016/01/04/anti-government-terrorists-forgot-snacks-want-you-to-send-via-u-s-mail/
According to the terrorist group, now known as Ya’llQueda, the armed militants decided to seize the more than 100 year old wildlife refuge because it is a symbol of everything that is wrong in America, such as not being able to set fire to public lands, turn your freeloading cattle loose to feed off American taxpayers, or even ride your ATV through ancient archaeological sites, the way, according to Ammon Bundy “we used to could do.”
The Malheur National Wildlife Refuge was established in 1908. ATV’s came on the market in the U.S. in the 1960’s. The stupidity of right wing extremism is timeless.
In case you needed more proof that this is the dumbest armed takeover of a bird sanctuary EVER, the anti-government terrorists who told America that they plan to stay holed up inside the visitor’s building of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge “for as long as it takes,” even “for years,” are asking people to send snacks.
http://www.addictinginfo.org/2016/01/04/anti-government-terrorists-forgot-snacks-want-you-to-send-via-u-s-mail/
First off - Y'allqaeda... Excuse me a minute!
Second - this is very ironic. They're asking for *YOUR* donations and they want them sent by a public U.S. government agency while they're trolling the U.S. government. Does Ammon not understand the concept of irony? Apparently not. This whole thing is so completely bizarre and off the wall that it raises many questions. Like “Who is Ammon Bundy”? What do they want to accomplish? How did this whole thing get started? Well allow the AP to explain who they are and what they want:
http://www.omaha.com/news/nation/key-things-you-should-know-about-the-militia-standoff-in/article_977aadd2-b256-11e5-9e19-570ba52816bd.html
POSTED: SUNDAY, JANUARY 3, 2016 2:14 PM | UPDATED: 2:34 PM, SUN JAN 3, 2016.
BURNS, Ore. (AP) — Armed protesters are occupying a building at a national wildlife refuge in Oregon and asking militia members around the country to join them. The protesters went to Malheur National Wildlife Refuge on Saturday after a peaceful rally in support of two Oregon ranchers facing additional prison time for arson.
How did the situation begin?
Tension has been building for weeks in the Burns, Oregon, area over the case of Dwight and Steven Hammond. Dwight Hammond, 73, and Steven Hammond, 46, said they lit fires on federal land in 2001 and 2006 to reduce the growth of invasive plants and protect their property from wildfires. The two were convicted three years ago and served time: the father three months, the son one year. But in October, a federal judge in Oregon ruled their terms were too short under U.S. law and ordered them back to prison for about four years each.
Who is leading the protesters?
The Hammonds have received support from local residents, but the most vocal groups are from outside the area. Ammon Bundy, the son of Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy, who was involved in a standoff with the government over grazing rights, is among those organizing the opposition at the wildlife refuge. Ammon Bundy and militiamen from other states arrived last month in Burns, some 60 miles from the Hammond ranch. Ammon Bundy has criticized the U.S. government for what he called a failed legal process.
POSTED: SUNDAY, JANUARY 3, 2016 2:14 PM | UPDATED: 2:34 PM, SUN JAN 3, 2016.
BURNS, Ore. (AP) — Armed protesters are occupying a building at a national wildlife refuge in Oregon and asking militia members around the country to join them. The protesters went to Malheur National Wildlife Refuge on Saturday after a peaceful rally in support of two Oregon ranchers facing additional prison time for arson.
How did the situation begin?
Tension has been building for weeks in the Burns, Oregon, area over the case of Dwight and Steven Hammond. Dwight Hammond, 73, and Steven Hammond, 46, said they lit fires on federal land in 2001 and 2006 to reduce the growth of invasive plants and protect their property from wildfires. The two were convicted three years ago and served time: the father three months, the son one year. But in October, a federal judge in Oregon ruled their terms were too short under U.S. law and ordered them back to prison for about four years each.
Who is leading the protesters?
The Hammonds have received support from local residents, but the most vocal groups are from outside the area. Ammon Bundy, the son of Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy, who was involved in a standoff with the government over grazing rights, is among those organizing the opposition at the wildlife refuge. Ammon Bundy and militiamen from other states arrived last month in Burns, some 60 miles from the Hammond ranch. Ammon Bundy has criticized the U.S. government for what he called a failed legal process.
You need a huge flow chart to explain this thing. It’s a clusterfuck in the truest definition. Ammon Bundy could have easily filled all 10 slots this week. So the owners of the property in question are Dwight and Steven Hammond. And they were the ones who led the charge into the Malheur Sanctuary. And that's when Ammon Bundy got involved and things escalated out of control. Which usually tends to happen when someone with the last name of Bundy gets involved in something, doesn't it? And where is the GOP on this issue? If you answered “oddly silent”, you are once again correct sir/madam!
Republican presidential candidates are staying mum as an armed group has taken over part of a national wildlife refuge in rural Oregon — even those who supported the father of at least one of its leaders, who had his own standoff with the government in 2014, and have called for limits on federal control over Western land.
Some of the issues involved in the standoff — Constitutional rights, allegations of federal government overreach and individual liberties — have come to the fore in the GOP primary race. And as Western states are poised to play a larger role in the contest, so has the issue of property rights in a region where the federal government controls about half of the land.
But few candidates seemed willing to wade into any of these issues Sunday as the leaders of the group said they are standing up against government overreach and are prepared to remain there for “as long as it takes.” The group said it is protesting the case of two Oregon ranchers who were convicted of arson in 2012 and are scheduled to report to federal prison Monday. The ranchers were convicted on a broad terrorism charge. Many ranchers and land users in the West lease public land.
The effort is being led by at least one son of Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy, who had an armed standoff with the government in 2014 over land rights. Bundy was criticized for making racially charged remarks, leading many politicians to back away from him.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/gop-candidates-stay-quiet-on-oregon-standoff/2016/01/03/b8b9806c-b239-11e5-9388-466021d971de_story.html
Some of the issues involved in the standoff — Constitutional rights, allegations of federal government overreach and individual liberties — have come to the fore in the GOP primary race. And as Western states are poised to play a larger role in the contest, so has the issue of property rights in a region where the federal government controls about half of the land.
But few candidates seemed willing to wade into any of these issues Sunday as the leaders of the group said they are standing up against government overreach and are prepared to remain there for “as long as it takes.” The group said it is protesting the case of two Oregon ranchers who were convicted of arson in 2012 and are scheduled to report to federal prison Monday. The ranchers were convicted on a broad terrorism charge. Many ranchers and land users in the West lease public land.
The effort is being led by at least one son of Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy, who had an armed standoff with the government in 2014 over land rights. Bundy was criticized for making racially charged remarks, leading many politicians to back away from him.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/gop-candidates-stay-quiet-on-oregon-standoff/2016/01/03/b8b9806c-b239-11e5-9388-466021d971de_story.html
This is so bizarre that even the GOP – the base of the Cliven Bundies of the word – is remaining oddly silent on the issue especially with a major primary coming up. Be afraid, folks, be extremely afraid.
But even the LDS Church - the LDS CHURCH!!! They are condemning this conflict while saying that it should be resolved peacefully and without incident.
LDS Church: Oregon Militia Takeover Not 'Justified On A Scriptural Basis'
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints came out against the militant takeover of a federal building in rural, eastern Oregon in a statement issued Monday.
"Church leaders strongly condemn the armed seizure of the facility and are deeply troubled by the reports that those who have seized the facility suggest that they are doing so based on scriptural principles," the Mormon Church's statement read. "This armed occupation can in no way be justified on a scriptural basis."
Ammon Bundy, son of infamous Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy, said in a video published Friday that "the Lord was not pleased with what was happening to the Hammonds," referring to the two Oregon ranchers facing prison time for arson.
Bundy and other armed militants, who are not all from Oregon, have holed up since Saturday at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge near Burns, Oregon. They've said they will occupy the space for years, if necessary.
The church's statement urged "peaceful means" to end the conflict.
who have seized the facility suggest that they are doing so based on scriptural principles," the Mormon Church's
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/oregon-takeover-mormon-church-statement
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints came out against the militant takeover of a federal building in rural, eastern Oregon in a statement issued Monday.
"Church leaders strongly condemn the armed seizure of the facility and are deeply troubled by the reports that those who have seized the facility suggest that they are doing so based on scriptural principles," the Mormon Church's statement read. "This armed occupation can in no way be justified on a scriptural basis."
Ammon Bundy, son of infamous Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy, said in a video published Friday that "the Lord was not pleased with what was happening to the Hammonds," referring to the two Oregon ranchers facing prison time for arson.
Bundy and other armed militants, who are not all from Oregon, have holed up since Saturday at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge near Burns, Oregon. They've said they will occupy the space for years, if necessary.
The church's statement urged "peaceful means" to end the conflict.
who have seized the facility suggest that they are doing so based on scriptural principles," the Mormon Church's
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/oregon-takeover-mormon-church-statement
There you have it. The LDS Church - one of the more ultra conservative groups in the country, is now officially more liberal than these dipshits. The more this story goes down the wormhole, the stranger and scarier it gets. Just like going through a real life wormhole. Just ask Neil DeGrasse Tyson. It's science.
But it did have a peaceful ending - sort of - the Hammonds turned themselves in, but the protestors remain. We shall see what happens. And in case you were wondering, yes, Ammon Bundy did compare himself to Rosa Parks, because you know, they're both hardcore rebels who are standing up for unjust laws, yo!
Bundy also wants federally owned land in Harney County returned to the people who live there, saying his group was sifting through property records to find instances of federal officials seizing land from private owners.
Earlier Wednesday, Bundy compared the ranchers' occupation of the refuge to the civil rights battle waged by Rosa Parks.
"We are doing the same thing as Rosa Parks did," Bundy tweeted. "We are standing up against bad laws which dehumanize us and destroy our freedom."
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2016/01/06/oregon-standoff-leader-compares-effort-rosa-parks/78345968/
Earlier Wednesday, Bundy compared the ranchers' occupation of the refuge to the civil rights battle waged by Rosa Parks.
"We are doing the same thing as Rosa Parks did," Bundy tweeted. "We are standing up against bad laws which dehumanize us and destroy our freedom."
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2016/01/06/oregon-standoff-leader-compares-effort-rosa-parks/78345968/
[font size="8"]CNN And More Insane Bundy Madness[/font]
Like I said, Ammon Bundy and the Malhuer Militia (by the way, how great would that jazz trio be?
) could have easily filled all 10 slots. And there’s so much that it’s spilled over into the third slot and we’re going to leave it there for this week. So this whole Malheur mess has attracted a lot of attention. And as you may have guessed it's mostly negative. Especially when you compare this insane gun nut movement to something that's trying to enact peaceful change in a positive way, like Black Lives Matter. Then there's CNN's "law enforcement analyst" Art Roderick, who said that the Malheur occupants didn't need to be treated in the same manner that BLM were being treated because it was "in a rural area" and they weren't "looting property". Excuse me??? When has BLM *EVER* looted property or destroyed anything?
Roderick told CNN host Brian Stelter on Sunday that law enforcement should not react with force to end the militia’s occupation of the federal building.
“The last thing we need is some type of large confrontation because that’s when stuff goes bad,” Roderick explained. “And I think in this particular instance, if we just wait them out, see what they’ve got to say, then eventually, they’re all going to go home.”
Stelter pointed out that many activists had complained if the militia members were “Black Lives Matter protesters or if these were peaceful Muslim Americans [then] they would be treated very differently by law enforcement.”
“This is a very rural area,” Roderick replied. “It is out in the middle of nowhere. What are they actually doing? They’re not destroying property, they’re not looting anything.”
“I mean, there’s a whole separate situation going on as to exactly why they’re there and that will be worked out through the legal process,” he continued. “But I think now that they’ve taken over this location out at the fish and wildlife, this brings in the federal side. And I know the federal government has learned over the years how to deal with these types of incidences.”
http://www.rawstory.com/2016/01/cnn-analyst-white-militiamen-arent-a-threat-like-black-protesters-because-theyre-not-looting-anything/#.VomFbavirEs.twitter
“The last thing we need is some type of large confrontation because that’s when stuff goes bad,” Roderick explained. “And I think in this particular instance, if we just wait them out, see what they’ve got to say, then eventually, they’re all going to go home.”
Stelter pointed out that many activists had complained if the militia members were “Black Lives Matter protesters or if these were peaceful Muslim Americans [then] they would be treated very differently by law enforcement.”
“This is a very rural area,” Roderick replied. “It is out in the middle of nowhere. What are they actually doing? They’re not destroying property, they’re not looting anything.”
“I mean, there’s a whole separate situation going on as to exactly why they’re there and that will be worked out through the legal process,” he continued. “But I think now that they’ve taken over this location out at the fish and wildlife, this brings in the federal side. And I know the federal government has learned over the years how to deal with these types of incidences.”
http://www.rawstory.com/2016/01/cnn-analyst-white-militiamen-arent-a-threat-like-black-protesters-because-theyre-not-looting-anything/#.VomFbavirEs.twitter
Excuse me a minute...
The group itself though, which I am now calling by my own name of "The Hillbilly Beatles", might be suffering from its' own intenral problems and may implode very quickly. And how did the group spend their donation money? If you guessed “on Jack Daniels”, you are once again correct sir/madam! As Chris Hardwick would say, you get points!
The week-long Oregon standoff at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge, already the butt of many jokes, is already falling apart due to infighting between group members.
According to a Facebook video that he has since removed from his profile, Cai Irvin, one of the gunmen holding down the federal bird sanctuary, claimed that one of the “patriots” walked off the camp to stay in a hotel and drink away the donations he raked in to be part of the insurgency.
The man in question is identified as Joe O’Shaugnessy, otherwise known as “Capt. O,” allegedly a member of the Arizona militia. Capt. O had been arguing with others at the occupation and ended up checking into a motel room Wednesday night where other pseudo-supporters have been staying.
Infamous anti-Muslim organizer and fellow Arizonan militant John Ritzheimer, also present in Oregon for the standoff, went over to the motel to confirm O’Shaugnessy’s desertion. Ritzheimer found him drinking alcohol paid for with the donations given to him by fellow “patriots” wishing to support the effort, according to disabled National Guard member and group spokesperson Maureen Peltier.
“Ritzheimer did call me – he’s fucking pissed, he’s mad, he’s upset. He told me to tell all of you that Joe O’Shaugnessy is a deserter and a coward,” Irvin said.
http://usuncut.com/news/oregon-standoff-member-caught-drinking-donation-money/
According to a Facebook video that he has since removed from his profile, Cai Irvin, one of the gunmen holding down the federal bird sanctuary, claimed that one of the “patriots” walked off the camp to stay in a hotel and drink away the donations he raked in to be part of the insurgency.
The man in question is identified as Joe O’Shaugnessy, otherwise known as “Capt. O,” allegedly a member of the Arizona militia. Capt. O had been arguing with others at the occupation and ended up checking into a motel room Wednesday night where other pseudo-supporters have been staying.
Infamous anti-Muslim organizer and fellow Arizonan militant John Ritzheimer, also present in Oregon for the standoff, went over to the motel to confirm O’Shaugnessy’s desertion. Ritzheimer found him drinking alcohol paid for with the donations given to him by fellow “patriots” wishing to support the effort, according to disabled National Guard member and group spokesperson Maureen Peltier.
“Ritzheimer did call me – he’s fucking pissed, he’s mad, he’s upset. He told me to tell all of you that Joe O’Shaugnessy is a deserter and a coward,” Irvin said.
http://usuncut.com/news/oregon-standoff-member-caught-drinking-donation-money/
Yes – John Ritzheimer was caught drinking away the donation money that was given to this group. John Ritzheimer, the guy who made the [link: http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/daddy-swore-an-oath-jon-ritzheimer | “Daddy’s Sworn Oath”] video that’s been the butt of the jokes on various social media services and was even shown on @midnight this week. This just gets better and better. And with that out of the way, even our nation's lawmakers want in on the action.
GOP Lawmaker Asks How He Can Support Bundy's Militia Effort In Oregon
Tennessee state Rep. Andy Holt (R) asked on Twitter early Monday morning how he could support the armed gunmen who have taken over a federal building in rural Oregon under the leadership of Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy's son, Ammon.
Holt asked, "Where can I send support for your effort?" in a tweet sent just after midnight, which has since been deleted:
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/andy-holt-oregon-bundy-support?utm_content=buffer60351&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer
Tennessee state Rep. Andy Holt (R) asked on Twitter early Monday morning how he could support the armed gunmen who have taken over a federal building in rural Oregon under the leadership of Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy's son, Ammon.
Holt asked, "Where can I send support for your effort?" in a tweet sent just after midnight, which has since been deleted:
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/andy-holt-oregon-bundy-support?utm_content=buffer60351&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer
There you have it. That's a Tennessee state representative wanting to join in on the fight against the government by sending support to the Malheur occupiers.
[font size="8"]Ted Cruz[/font]
So Ted Cruz wants the Jesus vote for the 2016 election. And he wants it bad, folks. So much that he's vying to become king pastor of Jesusland. As if that's a thing. If you recall back in 2015, he launched his campaign at uber-Christian Liberty University. Now he wants to “awaken the body of Christ”. I am not a religious man, so I have no idea what this means, or how he wants to go about accomplishing this. But this is the type of insanity that we're going to be facing in the election year, folks.
Many Republicans once thought of George W. Bush as the son of God and now Senator Ted Cruz is running for the same title. In a Breitbart article, the Texas Senator told supporters that he wants to awaken the body of Christ to win the White House.
“If we awaken and energize the body of Christ– if Christians and people of faith come out and vote our values– we will win and we will turn the country around,” Cruz told volunteers on a conference call Tuesday.
Cruz also said that he is organizing a coalition of pastors in early states including Iowa and South Carolina. “We’re working to have a lead pastor in each of the 99 counties in Iowa, 99 pastors are organizing other pastors,” Cruz said.
“We’re doing the same thing in South Carolina, organizing pastors in 46 counties to motivate and organize other pastors.” Cruz warned that, as the election nears, the attacks on his campaign will become more vicious. “I want to tell everyone to get ready, strap on the full armor of God, get ready for the attacks that are coming,” he warned. “Come the month of January we ain’t seen nothing yet.”
http://crooksandliars.com/2016/01/ted-cruz-running-jesus
“If we awaken and energize the body of Christ– if Christians and people of faith come out and vote our values– we will win and we will turn the country around,” Cruz told volunteers on a conference call Tuesday.
Cruz also said that he is organizing a coalition of pastors in early states including Iowa and South Carolina. “We’re working to have a lead pastor in each of the 99 counties in Iowa, 99 pastors are organizing other pastors,” Cruz said.
“We’re doing the same thing in South Carolina, organizing pastors in 46 counties to motivate and organize other pastors.” Cruz warned that, as the election nears, the attacks on his campaign will become more vicious. “I want to tell everyone to get ready, strap on the full armor of God, get ready for the attacks that are coming,” he warned. “Come the month of January we ain’t seen nothing yet.”
http://crooksandliars.com/2016/01/ted-cruz-running-jesus
Yes, Ted Cruz wants the Jesus vote so bad that he is actively seeking out the same people who thought that George W. Bush was the son of God. Wait a minute – does that make George H.W. Bush god, or does that make Prescott Bush god? And if George W. is the son of God, who does God speak for? So many questions! And I always make fun of conservatives for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, but you know who says the right thing at the right time? Is South Park. And how funny is it that an episode they did 10 years ago still rings true!
[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]
Recruitment videos. Those things that colleges send out in order to get their Z-grade basketball teams some much needed talent, but we all know that there's no chance in hell that school is going to make the NCAA tournament. So it's come to this. Donald Trump has made a terrorist recruitment video. But no, he didn't make it. Middle Eastern terrorist group Al-Shabaab did. And boy does it sound like they're pissed in the video. Here is the video itself - watch it if you dare.
(CNN)An al Qaeda affiliate has apparently released a new recruitment video, telling Muslims in America that the country has a long history of racism and discrimination and will turn on its Muslim community.
The video purportedly by Somali terrorist group al-Shabaab uses historic civil rights era footage of firebrand Malcolm X and audio of 2016 presidential candidate Donald Trump to label the United States a racist society.
In the wake of the San Bernardino, California, shootings last month, Trump said he wanted "a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country's representatives can figure out what the hell is going on."
The video runs this line, bleeping out the word "hell."
http://www.cnn.com/2016/01/02/middleeast/al-shabaab-video-trump/
The video purportedly by Somali terrorist group al-Shabaab uses historic civil rights era footage of firebrand Malcolm X and audio of 2016 presidential candidate Donald Trump to label the United States a racist society.
In the wake of the San Bernardino, California, shootings last month, Trump said he wanted "a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country's representatives can figure out what the hell is going on."
The video runs this line, bleeping out the word "hell."
http://www.cnn.com/2016/01/02/middleeast/al-shabaab-video-trump/
There's a video clip at the link - watch if you dare. How does Donald Trump feel about this? "I'm not a terrorist. I'm a winner. And that's what America needs are more winners. We got to keep winning all the time. Because if we don't then the terrorists win. Al Shabaab? Who the hell is that? Is that a terrorist group or that middle eastern chicken restaurant down the street from my house? Because I love some good Al Shabaab style chicken with all the side dishes!"
Oh and in case you were wondering how Trump treats family members - he treats them about the same as universities and casinos among other failures associated with the Trump name:
Donald Trump Once Revoked Medical Care for a Sick Baby To Get Back at His Family
Freddy, a former pilot who died in 1981 an alcoholic at the age of 43, had a tense relationship with his younger brother, who constantly harangued him about his drinking. After Freddy died, his son, Fred III (Donald’s nephew) married and had a child who developed seizures and cerebral palsy. The Trump family, reports the Times, pledged to pay the infant’s medical bills—but Donald quickly went back on that promise when his father’s will was read.
Then came the unveiling of Fred Sr.’s will, which Donald had helped draft. It divided the bulk of the inheritance, at least $20 million, among his children and their descendants, “other than my son Fred C. Trump Jr.”
Freddy’s children sued, claiming that an earlier version of the will had entitled them to their father’s share of the estate, but that Donald and his siblings had used “undue influence” over their grandfather, who had dementia, to cut them out.
A week later, Mr. Trump retaliated by withdrawing the medical benefits critical to his nephew’s infant child.
http://gawker.com/donald-trump-once-revoked-medical-care-for-a-sick-baby-1750695531
Freddy, a former pilot who died in 1981 an alcoholic at the age of 43, had a tense relationship with his younger brother, who constantly harangued him about his drinking. After Freddy died, his son, Fred III (Donald’s nephew) married and had a child who developed seizures and cerebral palsy. The Trump family, reports the Times, pledged to pay the infant’s medical bills—but Donald quickly went back on that promise when his father’s will was read.
Then came the unveiling of Fred Sr.’s will, which Donald had helped draft. It divided the bulk of the inheritance, at least $20 million, among his children and their descendants, “other than my son Fred C. Trump Jr.”
Freddy’s children sued, claiming that an earlier version of the will had entitled them to their father’s share of the estate, but that Donald and his siblings had used “undue influence” over their grandfather, who had dementia, to cut them out.
A week later, Mr. Trump retaliated by withdrawing the medical benefits critical to his nephew’s infant child.
http://gawker.com/donald-trump-once-revoked-medical-care-for-a-sick-baby-1750695531
Yup, he throws them under the bus! How noble and presidential of him!
Oh and Donald Trump might be banned from traveling to the UK if the MPs decide in favor of a poll that has nearly 100,000 signatures:
MPs are to debate whether to bar Donald Trump from entering the UK in response to a public petition calling for action against the US Presidential candidate.
About 568,000 people have backed a petition calling on the tycoon to be barred for comments he made about banning Muslims from the US.
Labour MP Paul Flynn will lead a debate in Westminster Hall on 18 January.
David Cameron has condemned Mr Trump, who has major business interests in the UK, but said he should be allowed in.
The Commons petitions committee decided to hold a debate on the issue after considering the matter at a meeting on Tuesday. Under the current rules, MPs have to consider any petition with 100,000 signatures for discussion in Parliament.
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-politics-35238349
About 568,000 people have backed a petition calling on the tycoon to be barred for comments he made about banning Muslims from the US.
Labour MP Paul Flynn will lead a debate in Westminster Hall on 18 January.
David Cameron has condemned Mr Trump, who has major business interests in the UK, but said he should be allowed in.
The Commons petitions committee decided to hold a debate on the issue after considering the matter at a meeting on Tuesday. Under the current rules, MPs have to consider any petition with 100,000 signatures for discussion in Parliament.
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-politics-35238349
In a previous edition, I noted that Donald Trump might be banned from Scotland. But now it looks like the entire UK might be banning him as well. What are their immigration policies? :??:
And finally for Trumpenfuror news, he tried to provoke one of my favorite actors - Samuel L. Jackson, and well, got owned:
(CNN)Donald Trump strikes again on Twitter -- and this time, at actor Samuel L. Jackson.
The Republican presidential candidate tweeted at Jackson on Tuesday, writing, "I don't know @SamuelLJackson, to best of my knowledge haven't played golf w/him & think he does too many TV commercials—boring. Not a fan."
He (Jackson) said that he golfs with Trump from time to time and that when asked who's a better golfer, Jackson responded, "Oh, I am for sure. I don't cheat."
http://www.cnn.com/2016/01/05/politics/donald-trump-samuel-l-jackson-golf-twitter/index.html
The Republican presidential candidate tweeted at Jackson on Tuesday, writing, "I don't know @SamuelLJackson, to best of my knowledge haven't played golf w/him & think he does too many TV commercials—boring. Not a fan."
He (Jackson) said that he golfs with Trump from time to time and that when asked who's a better golfer, Jackson responded, "Oh, I am for sure. I don't cheat."
http://www.cnn.com/2016/01/05/politics/donald-trump-samuel-l-jackson-golf-twitter/index.html
You don't fuck with Jules Winnfield, man. Or he'll go Ezekiel 25:17 on your ass.
[font size="8"]Marco Rubio[/font]
Ugh... enough about Donald Trump this week. Let's now talk about religious homophobic bigotry! Yay!!! Homophobia saw no shortage of material during the holidays. Marco Rubio - former Senator of Florida and current middle seat holder in the republican clown car is polling absolutely dead last in just about every single poll he's in. No seriously - clogged toilets have a higher approval rating than Marco Rubio does. Jeb! gets higher polling numbers with environmental disasters. But here's how he's trying to save his campaign from going straight down the toilet:
http://www.towleroad.com/2015/12/marco-rubio-bigot/
Republican presidential hopeful Marco Rubio appeared on Face the Nation today and complained to host John Dickerson about being called a bigot despite the fact that he opposes treating gay and lesbian people equally.
Said Rubio:
“You have a country where people are told, this is a country where you’re going to be judged on your merits and on your hard work, and that is not happening. Increasingly, Americans feel out of place, because it seems like the people who have access to power and influence win. And everybody else is left on the outside looking in….And then people that hold traditional values are often described as bigots and haters.”...
Rubio recently promised that as president he would reverse Obama’s LGBT executive orders that stop religious business owners from discriminating against gays, appoint conservative SCOTUS justices who don’t believe that gays have the right to marry or that women have rights over their own bodies. He also said any transgender rights laws regarding bathroom usage have got to go.
If that’s not bigotry, I’m not sure what is.
Republican presidential hopeful Marco Rubio appeared on Face the Nation today and complained to host John Dickerson about being called a bigot despite the fact that he opposes treating gay and lesbian people equally.
Said Rubio:
“You have a country where people are told, this is a country where you’re going to be judged on your merits and on your hard work, and that is not happening. Increasingly, Americans feel out of place, because it seems like the people who have access to power and influence win. And everybody else is left on the outside looking in….And then people that hold traditional values are often described as bigots and haters.”...
Rubio recently promised that as president he would reverse Obama’s LGBT executive orders that stop religious business owners from discriminating against gays, appoint conservative SCOTUS justices who don’t believe that gays have the right to marry or that women have rights over their own bodies. He also said any transgender rights laws regarding bathroom usage have got to go.
If that’s not bigotry, I’m not sure what is.
That last line in that article says it all - so Rubio claims that he is in favor of equal rights for everybody, but when it comes to LGBT and especially the T part, that they want rights? He won't have any of it. If that's not hypocrisy I don't know what is.
[font size="8"]Hobby Lobby & Bill Gothard[/font]
Hobby Lobby. That store you go to when you run out of macaroni and glitter glue for your kids' geography project that you spent hours on and they're unable to complete to turn in the next morning, which your kid gave you the night before and expects you to pull an all nighter creating a realistic looking recreation of the state of Utah. And no, the town of Round Butte does not look like what you think it looks like. But Hobby Lobby won a vital supreme court case last year which allows them to deny health care to anyone they damn well please, which includes pregnant mothers. Really, I could do an entire edition devoted to how much the GOP hates pregnant women, yet calls themselves "pro life". But this story - you know, creepy Josh Duggar - who is part of *that* Duggar family - which was all the news last summer, isn't going away any time soon. No, it's about to get much worse than you already know. Wonkette explains:
According to the official police report, after Josh Duggar’s parents found out he was molesting his sisters, and they spent a year doing NOTHING about it, Jim Bob Duggar sent his son for counseling with a “family friend” who was renovating a building in Little Rock, Arkansas. It turns out the program Josh went to was the Basic Life Principles Training Center, led by none other than Duggar family BFF Bill Gothard, the creepy man who, as your Wonkette reported Sunday, “coincidentally has been accused of sexual abuse and harassment by more than 30 teenage girls.” Gothard’s Advanced Training Institute (ATI), the homeschooling cult the Duggars love so much, teaches, among other things, that little girls who get sexually abused probably share some of the blame, for being gross and naked sometimes.
But here’s a fun fact! Arkansas courts ALSO sent juvenile offenders to Gothard’s programs, housed in an old VA hospital in Little Rock, donated by some other good friends, the Green family, owners of Hobby Lobby. Yes, THAT Hobby Lobby, the arts and crafts store that has very sincere religious beliefs about sex and how ladies shouldn’t do it, except for when they are married, to make babies for Jesus. Sound familiar? But Hobby Lobby also believes, apparently, that if boys do sex to girls, it is because the girls tempted them to do it, so the boys should have a special place to go to learn how to not be tempted to diddle their sisters. So Hobby Lobby gave Gothard this nice building where he could teach that kind of thing:
Read more at http://wonkette.com/586542/guess-whos-mixed-up-in-duggar-family-sex-crimes-now-hobby-lobby-of-course#6wRPj1x2YLwuizHP.99
But here’s a fun fact! Arkansas courts ALSO sent juvenile offenders to Gothard’s programs, housed in an old VA hospital in Little Rock, donated by some other good friends, the Green family, owners of Hobby Lobby. Yes, THAT Hobby Lobby, the arts and crafts store that has very sincere religious beliefs about sex and how ladies shouldn’t do it, except for when they are married, to make babies for Jesus. Sound familiar? But Hobby Lobby also believes, apparently, that if boys do sex to girls, it is because the girls tempted them to do it, so the boys should have a special place to go to learn how to not be tempted to diddle their sisters. So Hobby Lobby gave Gothard this nice building where he could teach that kind of thing:
Read more at http://wonkette.com/586542/guess-whos-mixed-up-in-duggar-family-sex-crimes-now-hobby-lobby-of-course#6wRPj1x2YLwuizHP.99
So while Josh Duggar was engaged in one of the most horrible crimes imaginable - child molestation, his parents did absolutely nothing about it. And not only that, they made the matter much worse than it already was because they sent Josh to a corrupt rehab camp that was sponsored by Hobby Lobby. So how do they factor into this whole thing? It gets weirder:
But Huckabee’s not just a Gothard “admirer.” He actually seems to be a membership-dues-paid-in-full member of the cult:
“As a person who has actually been through the Basic Seminar, I am confident that these are some of the best programs available for instilling character into the lives of people,” Huckabee wrote in a letter promoting Gothard’s prison ministry. Arkansas prisons had been using Gothard seminars and materials since 1996.
That is going back a long way! How comforting to think that ex-cons, prisoners, rapists, Josh Duggar, AND all kinds of other offenders got “rehabilitated” by the same gross, likely rapey cult leader. That gives us a hell of a lot of faith in Arkansas state government! Let’s be fair to Mike Huckabee, though, as it seems he is not the only idiot to hand the keys to Bill Gothard; there are allegations of abuse stemming from Gothard’s programs in LOTS of states.
“As a person who has actually been through the Basic Seminar, I am confident that these are some of the best programs available for instilling character into the lives of people,” Huckabee wrote in a letter promoting Gothard’s prison ministry. Arkansas prisons had been using Gothard seminars and materials since 1996.
That is going back a long way! How comforting to think that ex-cons, prisoners, rapists, Josh Duggar, AND all kinds of other offenders got “rehabilitated” by the same gross, likely rapey cult leader. That gives us a hell of a lot of faith in Arkansas state government! Let’s be fair to Mike Huckabee, though, as it seems he is not the only idiot to hand the keys to Bill Gothard; there are allegations of abuse stemming from Gothard’s programs in LOTS of states.
So the Gothard method - Mike Huckabee gave him a pass, Hobby Lobby sponsored him, and the Duggars did absolutely nothing. How far does this go? Who else is involved? And by the way how is Mike Hucakabee still running for president? Why hasn't the mainstream media ripped him a new asshole on this one? He should be waiting for his arraignment for harboring child molestors like the Duggars and allowing this corrupt piece of shit Bill Gothard to destroy America's youth with his religious brainwashing program. USA? USA? USA?
George Carlin was right - it's a big club and we're not in it. And while George Carlin's famous monologue from his 2005 special "Life Is Worth Losing" mainly applied to America's wealthy elite, it could also very well apply to America's ultra religious conservatives and how they're able to get away with some of the most horrific crimes known to man.
[font size="8"]Carly Fiorina[/font]
Sports and politics are two things that should most likely never mix. Unless you're trying to win over votes in a state where a major primary election is coming up. But who tried to do that and completely failed at it is Carly Fiorina. You know, the disgraced HP CEO who laid off an entire city's worth of people while serving as the president of the company. Why imagine what she could do for the US government! The Koch / Ayn Rand candidate of choice here, people! But getting back to sports - one thing you should never ever do is piss off your alma matter. Especially while trying to win over people in the very state that they're playing in the most important game of the season and that's the Rose Bowl. There was a lot of politicking going on during the Rose Bowl this year with Donald Trump getting owned by a sky writing fly over and now this.
Carly Fiorina's Rose Bowl tweet draws Twitter scorn, hashtag
http://www.politico.com/story/2016/01/carly-fiorina-rose-bowl-tweet-217285
Harsh words seemed to follow two of the Republican presidential candidates during Friday's Rose Bowl college football game, and one of them may even be cursed.
Former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina prompted a Twitter storm after she penned a controversial tweet in support of the Iowa Hawkeyes, instead of her alma mater Stanford's Cardinal.
"Love my alma mater, but rooting for a Hawkeyes win today," she tweeted.
http://www.politico.com/story/2016/01/carly-fiorina-rose-bowl-tweet-217285
Harsh words seemed to follow two of the Republican presidential candidates during Friday's Rose Bowl college football game, and one of them may even be cursed.
Former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina prompted a Twitter storm after she penned a controversial tweet in support of the Iowa Hawkeyes, instead of her alma mater Stanford's Cardinal.
"Love my alma mater, but rooting for a Hawkeyes win today," she tweeted.
Needless to say this set off a proverbial Twitter shit storm with both Stanford and Iowa fans agreeing on one thing - Carly Fiorina is a terrible politician and in no way, shape or form presidential material.
And the end result? Stanford utterly destroyed Iowa in the Rose Bowl 45 - 16. Karma strikes again!
[font size="8"]Antonin Scalia [/font]
You know... if there's one thing America's fundamentalist religious conservatives are gifted at, it's knowing when to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. And they constantly shoot themselves in the foot over the nonsense that they're spouting. Sometimes I wonder whether or not they actually believe the crap they say on a daily basis. Whether it's Bryan Fischer explaining that dinosaurs were 1,000 year old lizards, Pat Robertson telling the mother of a deceased infant that her baby could have been the next Adolf Hitler, or the or the Liberty Counsel blocking a Wisconsin school's decision to teach kids about gender identity. Because that's just icky to them. But no one does it with the class or finesse of the GOP's equivalent of Emperor Palpatine, Antonin Scalia.
On Saturday, he said the First Amendment prohibits the government from endorsing one religion over another. But, he added, that doesn’t mean the government has to favor non-religion over religion.
He argued that’s a more modern reading originating in the courts in the 1960s.
He also said there is "nothing wrong" with presidents and others invoking God in speeches, according to The Associated Press.
If Americans want to the government to be non-religious, he said, they should vote on it instead of courts deciding.
“Don't cram it down the throats of an American people that has always honored God on the pretext that the Constitution requires it,” he said, according to the Times-Picayune.
http://thehill.com/regulation/court-battles/264588-scalia-dont-cram-religious-neutrality-down-throats-of-american
He argued that’s a more modern reading originating in the courts in the 1960s.
He also said there is "nothing wrong" with presidents and others invoking God in speeches, according to The Associated Press.
If Americans want to the government to be non-religious, he said, they should vote on it instead of courts deciding.
“Don't cram it down the throats of an American people that has always honored God on the pretext that the Constitution requires it,” he said, according to the Times-Picayune.
http://thehill.com/regulation/court-battles/264588-scalia-dont-cram-religious-neutrality-down-throats-of-american
I know there's a joke there but in the interest of keeping this somewhat family and Google friendly, and after seeing Samuel L. Jackson's bizarre monologue at the end of the first half of his new flick, the Hateful Eight, I'm not going there.
Oh and by the way if you wondering where the announcement about what’s going on in Alabama is, don’t worry – next week we will be tearing Roy Moore a new asshole. Be sure to stock up on the popcorn for that one.
[font size="8"]Every Day Trump Supporters[/font]
Finally tonight we’re going to introduce yet another brand new feature that will prop up from time to time until the end of the election, or when Donald Trump’s campaign is no longer relevant. I’m hoping the latter happens first. So we’re going to use the 10th slot to take a look at some every day Trump supporters. There’s two types of conspiracy theorists. There’s the evil, angry, hateful, and racist Infowars conspiracy theorists. And then there’s the batshit crazy, tin foil hat conspiracy theorists like this guy. I separate these people into two camps. If you think Obama is going to take all your guns away and that the US, Canada and Mexico are going to merge into one giant, borderless and lawless entity (yes, Infowars fans actually believe this!!!), then Infowars is your place. If you think that Taco Bell’s fine dining is a conspiracy by the Mexican government to infiltrate American culture, you’re a more likely candidate for Coast To Coast AM. Taco Bell is not a restaurant I would associate with “fine”, or “dining”. I’m not even sure you can call it "food". And everyone is aware that Taco Bell was founded in California and currently has a massive headquarters there, doesn’t it? Well Clem O’Connor won’t have any of it. In fact to Clem O’Connor Taco Bell’s headquarters might as well be on the worst part of the worst street in the center of Mexico City. While the article from Crooks and Liars wasn’t clear about his political affiliation, but considering that he is going on and on about “securing the border”, we’re going to say Trump for this case. Here’s more:
HAZARD, TENNESSEE - When Clem O'Connor walked into the Taco Bell in his town for the first time, he was greeted with words, smells and tastes that offended him to his core. Though someone's taste buds being offended in Taco Bell is nothing new, what made The Political Garbage Chute reach out to Clem was the reason for his outrage, and the campaign he's started because of that outrage. O'Connor is convinced that Taco Bell is "an agent working for the Mexican government" and they are "infiltrating American culture one Cheesy Gordita Crunch at a time." So Clem wants Taco Bell run out of his small Tennessee town, and he's petitioned everyone from his local city council on up to the governor of the state to have the fast food chain thrown out of Hazard for good.
"You know there isn't a single hamburger to be found on Taco Bell's menu," Clem asked our interviewer rhetorically while adding, "there is nothing more American than a hamburger. So I have to ask, what is about America that Taco Bell hates?"
http://crooksandliars.com/2015/08/tennessee-republican-wants-taco-bell-shut
"You know there isn't a single hamburger to be found on Taco Bell's menu," Clem asked our interviewer rhetorically while adding, "there is nothing more American than a hamburger. So I have to ask, what is about America that Taco Bell hates?"
http://crooksandliars.com/2015/08/tennessee-republican-wants-taco-bell-shut
First of all Taco Bell should hire Clem to do all their advertising for them, because “infiltrate American culture one Cheesy Gordita Crunch at a time” is something Taco Bell should be using in all of its' advertisements! Um… hate to break it to you, Clem, but… Taco Bell *IS* an American company. Its' headquarters is in Irvine, California. Does that mean I live in a foreign country? Last I checked California was still an American state. And there’s nothing more American than a company that skirts around USDA regulations and lies to the FDA about the content of its’ “beef”, is there? I can’t think of any! Sure, we may have settled that lawsuit, but it still remains a mystery. Let’s continue:
Clem said that "until the border is secure, we can't have any more Mexicans coming over here" and that "coming to a place like America and seeing authentic Mexican food at places like Taco Bell might encourage them to come here illegally and never leave."
"Would it kill them to put a nice steak and potato meal on their menu," Clem asked. "I mean, steak and potatoes is American as fuck. But no, it's all taco this and burrito that. It's offensive to me that in America I might have to read menu items in a different language. I don't go to any fancy-shmancy restaurant where the menu is in whatever language the cuisine is in. I'm an American, different cultures frighten and confuse me. I want my menus in English and my waiters better speak it too, or you can get the fuck out of this country as far as I'm concerned!"
http://crooksandliars.com/2015/08/tennessee-republican-wants-taco-bell-shut
"Would it kill them to put a nice steak and potato meal on their menu," Clem asked. "I mean, steak and potatoes is American as fuck. But no, it's all taco this and burrito that. It's offensive to me that in America I might have to read menu items in a different language. I don't go to any fancy-shmancy restaurant where the menu is in whatever language the cuisine is in. I'm an American, different cultures frighten and confuse me. I want my menus in English and my waiters better speak it too, or you can get the fuck out of this country as far as I'm concerned!"
http://crooksandliars.com/2015/08/tennessee-republican-wants-taco-bell-shut
So Clem, let me ask you this - when has Taco Bell ever been associated with "authentic Mexican food"? Or for that matter when has Taco Bell been associated with "food"? And Taco Bell does have steak and potatoes on the menu! Order some steak nachos and a loaded potato burrito and it's essentially the same thing, is it not? It was at this point that we guessed that the political affiliation might be Trump. Has this guy never had a burrito? Burritos are delicious! Especially of the breakfast variety. When they contain real ingredients, that is.
"All I'm saying is that we live in America," Clem said while continuing, "and if you're not going to adopt American values then you should get out. Taco Bell is an American restaurant in America. There should be cheeseburgers and fries on the menu, and I should be encouraged to bring my gun into the joint. That's American values right there. But instead I have to settle for a Chalupa and a seven layer burrito and I have to leave my gun in the car."
Taco Bell does support American values - at least American business values like stiffing employees, cheating and lying to the government. But this part here raises many questions. First off, why the fuck does he need to bring a gun? I’ve been to a lot of Taco Bells and I’ve never felt the need to pack heat, at any of the locations I’ve been to! And I've been to some Taco Bells in some really shady locations. Hey when it's 2:00 AM and I'm drunk, a steak quesarito sounds pretty damn good about that time, doesn't it? And second, is Taco Bell the only restaurant in town? This is America, man! There's gigantic portions of food just about every 10 feet. Don't like Taco Bell? There's seafood (Long John Silvers), Italian (Olive Garden), Chinese (Panda Express), and American grease (White Castle). It's not like all restaurants in town are Taco Bell. You know Demolition Man was just a movie, right, Clem?
Oh be afraid, my friends. Be very afraid! And this here is my favorite part:
"It's just too Mexican in there," Clem told us, "that's all I'm saying. It's just too Mexican. Would it kill them to put an apple pie on their menu?"
Um… I don’t know if you know Mexican people, Clem, but I do. Real people who are actually, um, you know, from Mexico. Good people too. And they wouldn’t eat Taco Bell’s slop if you force fed it to them. Come to Southern California, I'll show you some real Mexican cuisine. You've never had chilaquiles, arroz con pollo, huevos con chorizo, traditional menudo, or al pastor? No? How about some real anejo tequila? Ever been to a traditional Mexican carniceria or panaderia? No? Then you've probably never had real Mexican food. Or better yet, I'll just take you to the Del Taco down the street from my house. They have tacos, burritos, and - wait for it - cheeseburgers and fries on the menu! It will totally blow your mind! And this is every day Trump supporters. Come on sing it with me!
See you next week!
Ed. Note - I know many of you are wondering where a tribute to David Bowie is, but considering that I had this done last night before the news broke, I figured that I'll wait for next Monday's edition for a proper Idiots-style tribute to Mr. Bowie. Stay tuned.
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