Oregon Lunatics Send Desperate Plea For Snacks And Socks — See The Internet’s Hilarious Reaction

[Photographer]

Oregon lunatics don’t seem very prepared to take on government…

Saturday, domestic terrorists from various militia groups entered federal land and took control of a federal building…on a bird sanctuary…because reasons.

The leader of the pack, Ammon Bundy, son of Cliven Bundy from the Nevada BLM standoff told the media the group was willing to die trying to achieve their objective — stealing land from the government — and planned on being on the property for YEARS if it came to that. Ammon is also joined by his brothers Mel and Ryan.

Also, on the property is Jon Ritzheimer, the infamous shithead known for his armed protests outside of mosques. He sent a tearful “goodbye” video to his wife and kids ahead of the occupation on federal land — which is hilarious — but he also recently sent out a plea for things the men should have brought ahead of usurping a government building in freezing temperatures.

Blaine Cooper has been relaying the group’s messages to social media:

The Oregon lunatics need snacks. pic.twitter.com/YnAOM3hPQk

— Imraan Siddiqi (@imraansiddiqi) January 3, 2016

Also in a separate post, Ritzheimer asked for:

Things we could use:
cold weather socks
snacks
energy drinks
equipment for cold weather
snow camo
gear
anything you think will help.

Thank you all for the support

So let’s get this straight. These guys, who plan to stay on the refuge for years if need be, traveled to a remote location in the dead of winter and are in short supply of warm clothes, Redbulls, and snacks? Oh, this is too great.

Obviously, the internet was also equally pleased.

"We don't want your money." *Translation: "Please send money." pic.twitter.com/mhpqcYdtqh

— Imraan Siddiqi (@imraansiddiqi) January 3, 2016

.@imraansiddiqi Well,this should teach them 2 pack more cheezy poofs next time they break into a wildlife refuge and threaten to kill people

— twoOneSix (@TwoOneSix216) January 4, 2016

@imraansiddiqi my mom cooked hella pallau and chalau last night. Think they'd be ok w/ afghan food?

— Wagma Mommandi (@wagmamommandi) January 3, 2016

@imraansiddiqi @EllenDatlow They want snacks? Send them Cocoa Puffs. They're obviously cuckoo!

— Aaron Smith (@AaronSmith377) January 3, 2016

The response on Facebook was also hilarious:

“Energy drinks. Of course.”

“It takes a really special kind of idiot to try to protest the federal government while asking people to send you stuff through the USPS.”

“Wow, for Militia, you sure went in totally unprepared. OathKeepers have made a public statement regarding your situation.”

“You clowns are like a child who ran away with only a jar of peanut butter and a sleeve of Ritz. Grow up, kids.”

“Lolol anti-government militia using a government service (US Mail) to beg for supplies.. Which they didn’t bring to begin with because they’re idiots with no common sense”

“Waitaminit. You yahoos decide to take over a federal building in the hopes of fomenting governmental overthrow…but you forgot to bring snacks and toilet paper? Okay, then.”

Thank you, internet!

http://reverbpress.com/news/us/oregons-domestic-terrorists-send-desperate-plea-for-snacks-response-from-muslims-hilarious/

[LiberalElite]

1. I thought I read that

this "protest" had been planned for some time. So, how is it big tough guys need civilians to send them snacks? And cold weather socks? WT FLYING F? What a bunch o' losers.

[Photographer]

4. And using USPS???? LOL!

[Lucky Luciano]

9. Irony meter has been incinerated. nt

[sarge43]

18. They may have put The Onion out of business n/t

[arcane1]

89. They're stealing the Onion's material. I love reposting this, my all-time favorite Onion article:

Area Man Passionate Defender Of What He Imagines Constitution To Be

ESCONDIDO, CA—Spurred by an administration he believes to be guilty of numerous transgressions, self-described American patriot Kyle Mortensen, 47, is a vehement defender of ideas he seems to think are enshrined in the U.S. Constitution and principles that brave men have fought and died for solely in his head.

"Our very way of life is under siege," said Mortensen, whose understanding of the Constitution derives not from a close reading of the document but from talk-show pundits, books by television personalities, and the limitless expanse of his own colorful imagination. "It's time for true Americans to stand up and protect the values that make us who we are."

According to Mortensen—an otherwise mild-mannered husband, father, and small-business owner—the most serious threat to his fanciful version of the 222-year-old Constitution is the attempt by far-left "traitors" to strip it of its religious foundation.

"Right there in the preamble, the authors make their priorities clear: 'one nation under God,'" said Mortensen, attributing to the Constitution a line from the Pledge of Allegiance, which itself did not include any reference to a deity until 1954. "Well, there's a reason they put that right at the top."

-snip-

http://www.theonion.com/article/area-man-passionate-defender-of-what-he-imagines-c-2849

[liberalhistorian]

108. That is, indeed, hilarious, but my all-time

favorite Onion headline and article is still this one: "Christian Scientist Pharmacist Refuses to Fill Any Prescriptions". It perfectly skewered the idiot pharmacists who try to substitute their own beliefs for the educated medical judgment of their customers' physicians and who think they should still be paid for refusing to do their damned jobs.

And these militia terrorist yahoos sound a lot like them.

[Cassidy]

156. "At last, our long nightmare of peace and prosperity is over."

This was the title to an Onion article published in January 2001.
Yes, that is right, the month that George W. Bush took office, The Onion foretold his entire 8-year administration with a single line.

[msanthrope]

177. That one is my favorite, too.....nt

[AlbertCat]

198. Not political...but my all time fave is:

Collectable Plate Industry Calls For Tragic Death of Barbra Streisand

This was a while after Lady Di collectable plates were available. The article says they just aren't selling as well anymore. Streisand's agent was considering it....

too funny!

[AlbertCat]

197. This is my fave:

"Dad's great, but listening to all that talk radio has put some weird ideas into his head," said daughter Samantha, a freshman at Reed College in Portland, OR. "He believes the Constitution allows the government to torture people and ban gay marriage, yet he doesn't even know that it guarantees universal health care."

I love how they gently skewer both sides.

[brush]

39. And they love to quote the 2nd Amendment

Not the first clause though that mentions "a well regulated militia", not a bunch of unorganized bozos who can't even remember to bring food and cold weather gear in the dead of winter.

[dflprincess]

88. Perhaps they had to wait for their gub'mint checks to come before they could buy supplies.

This really is hysterical.

[Cracklin Charlie]

125. Okay, I can not read any more of these comments!

Thanks a lot!

Your guys' hilarious comments are making me leave this thread. (I've woken up everyone in the house with my LOL'ing).

p.s. I'll be back tomorrow to read the rest. HA!

[L. Coyote]

216. Exactly what one of them who wasn't there posted online, bro's I'm sorry, waiting on the fed check

Ohh the irony, late for the overthrow because the postman didn't bring the gubermint check in time.

Should I look it up? It is a meme on Twitter under #OregonUnderAttack
[center]
Oregon Militiamen Mocked on Twitter





Adam Osborn
Couple hundred white terrorists and only few dozen IQ points among them #YallQaeda #YeeHawd


The Independent
'#YallQaeda' don't plan siege very well, put out desperate call for snacks, chewing tobacco http://i100.io/MWold8B

#GotSnacks?

meetgolfers ?
@Independent this is a inbreeding success story
Mia McPherson
@Independent they need snacks, today is the day of the #YallQaedaSnackAttack

Andrew ?@milesandtime
They're hungry. Please help. #YallQaeda #YeeHawdists

[IronLionZion]

151. Who regulates militias?

Although wingnuts have claimed well-regulated means they should have training and excellent aim

[brush]

167. The state/president (Article 2, Section 2, Clause 1 of the Constitution)

Last edited Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:18 PM - Edit history (1)

The authors of the Bill of Rights intended that militias/citizen armies, were raised and maintained at the behest of state governing bodies whenever needed as they themselves were against standing armies after having witnessed what powerful standing armies had wrought in Europe.

[Midnight Writer]

135. REAL MEN would live off the land

Some rat skin socks, some squirrel meat, and if necessary, a little sodomy and cannibalism (survival of the fittest, after all) and these stalwart pioneer men should do quite nicely.

Hell, weren't they ever in Boy Scouts? Eat some berries, boil some tree bark, melt some snow, experiment with some mushrooms (they won't all kill you), huddle together to conserve body heat. You've got guns, can't you shoot some rabbits? Man up, men!

[arthritisR_US]

143. And then, you could elect Bernie or Hillary and make sure your

country doesn't become a dictatorship. Obama has held it down as long and his term can do, the rest is up to you.

[Nitram]

166. I predict that the biggest problem will be lack of TP.

No leaves in winter!

[AlbertCat]

200. No leaves in winter!

Isn't poison sumac evergreen?

[Nitram]

209. Ouch!

[AlbertCat]

210. Ouch!

I looked it up after I made the joke. (I look up everything)

Sumac is the most toxic of the Ivy... Oak.... Sumac poisoned trio. But alas, it is native to...yes wet lands and swamps.... but in the South East, so it may be too cold for it in OR.

Oh well.... they're back to using birch bark.....

[FrodosPet]

136. "Lawyers, guns, and money" would be a manly request

Sockies, Red Bull, and candy is not.

[Voice for Peace]

140. They'te just tryng to be inclusive

You know... All the ways people can participate, like sending care packages to soldiers...

[AlbertCat]

196. And cold weather socks?

I'll send them some warm weather socks and Hawaiian shirts....


y'know, in case they're still there this summer.....

[Elmer S. E. Dump]

214. Don't forget the guy who couldn't be there because his SSDI check didn't arrive!

[TheBlackAdder]

2. Send them Winter Camo! When these idiots get lost, they won't be found until Spring thaw! nt

[Marty McGraw]

139. Perhaps Ted Nugent

can be dropped in to show them all how to survive the cold wearing warm feces.

[dixiegrrrrl]

3. Damn..taht is hysterical!

Big tuff self reliant gun toting man babies.
Minus any planning skills..

[RKP5637]

29. Oops, we didn't know it was gonna snow and be cold! n/t

[dixiegrrrrl]

124. And they left the wimmen behind, so who's gonna cook for them?

I am really surprised Palin has not shown up there.

[Nay]

159. Exactly! It reminds me of the Bob the Angry Flower cartoon strip where

the Ayn Rand activist flowers go off to Galt's Gulch in a huff, forgetting to bring all the servants. Ooops.

[dixiegrrrrl]

170. How could I have possible lived this log without knowing about Bob?

Just found the site, am laffing now.

thanks....

[Nay]

180. Bob is the shiznitz, ain't he?? The Ayn Rand one is my absolute favorite.

I'm glad to have introduced you to a delightful cartoon.

[99th_Monkey]

5. The armed-to-the-teeth Bundy & Co. Terrorists are NOT "Oregonians", they're interlopers

unwanted by 95% of the local citizens. Please don't call them "Oregon" lunatics .. most are
from Nevada or elsewhere.

[Photographer]

6. Oregon is only where these dolts are hanging their hats at the moment and it's not aimed at the good

citizens of thgat state.

[99th_Monkey]

24. Like i said, they are INTERLOPERS who virtually NO Oregonians want to be here.

Your suggestions otherwise are wildly off-the-mark.

[Photographer]

26. I have not said a thing disparaging the citizens of Oregon.

Only the idjits Bundy et. al.

[rjsquirrel]

32. Oh don't kid yourself

Oregon is full of white supremacist gun nut militia guys. It was founded as a white supremacist state. It has had strong klan and neo-Nazi groups for years.

Sorry, not buying the "innocent locals" line. Eastern Oregon is militia country big time.

[Marty McGraw]

141. It sure represents a mix

Always best to stay west of the cascades. But there are enclaves there as well.

[niyad]

50. perhaps you could change the title to "idiot invaders in oregon"

[Photographer]

58. This is a linked story and headline. I didn't write it and feel that if I changed it

some would feel misled if they clicked on the link.

[niyad]

59. of course.

[MisterP]

33. Nonegonians

[Old Codger]

46. you bet

Make sure everyone understands that these idiots are not Oregonians...

[Downwinder]

7. Well regulated militia -- FAIL

[Warren DeMontague]

8. "The Entire DVD set of 7th Heaven?"

[cascadiance]

30. How about an Ice-T CD set!

Kind of fitting for the weather, and would serve as fuel for their racist tendencies...

I made the mistake just trying to drive to the eastern side of Portland yesterday, not just the eastern side of Oregon and it was a five hour effort in futility where the ice won in the end.

[Stryder]

48. They probably brought

"Birth of a Nation" with them. That will keep them busy for several hours.

[Yallow]

64. Did They Ask For White Hoods And Crosses, and Torches?

Are you sure?

[AlbertCat]

202. They probably brought "Birth of a Nation" with them.

They ain't watchin' no old black & white movie!!!!!


How about "Left Behind".... which they think is about a liberal ass....

[Blanks]

220. They should watch the documentary series...

'Why We Fight' (Frank Cappra) made to get the American people behind the allied effort in WWII.

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLue4rhsHxp6-h5AO9Az-gdo7sq_m5roBm

Clearly they're misguided about why we fight.

[AlbertCat]

222. 'Why We Fight' (Frank Cappra)

Is it in color?

[Blanks]

224. Is that important? They're black and white. eom

[AlbertCat]

225. Is that important?

A joke.

[Blanks]

227. Have you watched them? eom

[Initech]

199. What would they watch it on with no electricity?

They can use the discs as target practice maybe?

[Travis_0004]

10. Is it wrong if I kind of want to send them one pair of socks

Size-Newborn.

Note attached: Since you guys are being a bunch of crybabies, here are some socks for you. Didn't know your size, hope they fit.

[Tipperary]

22. Maybe some diapers or those little boy briefs with superheroes on them.

How pathetic is this?

[Mnemosyne]

66. They will be needing diapers if the heat is cut and the toilets freeze. What a bunch of seditious

idiots...

[sarisataka]

11. I can supply

homemade lutefisk and six bags of Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears...

[longship]

21. Oh dear! This Norwegian hopes it's lutefisk!

Inedible fish jello, cured in lye!

But without power, how will they bake it? Plus, they won't know to soak the lye out of it before baking it to its disgusting gelatinous consistency.

I agree! Send them lutefisk. Maybe they could use it as a weapon.

[LynneSin]

31. I've read the Amazon reviews for those Sugar-free gummy bears

Where do I chip in so I can send a 5-lb bag

[longship]

73. Are four enough? Are six too many?

[LynneSin]

82. Never too many sugar free gummy bears for Vanilla Isis

[Hekate]

115. Hey, I read about those Haribo Gummies and they should be classified as toxic warfare.

The Amazon comments were .....

[Starry Messenger]

12. Funny, because yesterday people were claiming these guys were crack survivalists with MREs, etc.

[Submariner]

100. I'm guessing that MEAL Team 6 already ate the MREs

[2naSalit]

112. ...

[Starry Messenger]

126. Rawr!

[Vinca]

153. I think that's Meal Team 6, 7, 8 and 9.

[lumberjack_jeff]

189. Heh. +1 n/t

[L. Coyote]

103. Ridicule has taken over.

[Fuddnik]

119. It doesn't say anywhere in the Constitution that stupidity is a crime!

But, they sure are pushing the envelope.

[mdbl]

148. Stupidity may not be a crime

but what those morons are doing is a crime, and need to be locked up.

[2naSalit]

113. Well... I'm one of those who

suggested that they probably had enough food in them trailers they brung with them!

I stand corrected and happily so! This is far more entertaining! Who knew these guys would give us so much material for mockery?

I have to say that the comment about not bringing enough cheezy poofs is where I lost it.

[muntrv]

13. They couldn't say "FedEx or UPS" the supplies instead of MAIL us the goods?

[muntrv]

14. Send Vanilla ISIS chocolate Ex Lax.

[LynneSin]

34. Just send them these.....

http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Sugar-Free-Gummy-Bears/product-reviews/B008JELLCA

[niyad]

52. oh. my.word!!!! must order some of these-"I have a little list. . . "

[3catwoman3]

72. They might be sweetened with mannitol.

Last edited Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:46 PM - Edit history (1)

I once chomped down a whole package of breath mints sweetened with that stuff, just because they tasted so good. As I was driving home from work, i had to release the waistband on my skirt because I bloated up so badly. It hurt like hell. Poking a large bore needle thru my abdominal wall to release the pressure would have felt better that waiting for it to "take its course."

eta - make that sorbitol. I knew mannitol didn't sound right.

[niyad]

85. oh my word, how utterly awful for you!

[3catwoman3]

114. Yup. Sorbitol. I have just laughed my way...

...thru the first 4 pages of reviews of these gummi bears. Seems that many, many people have experienced the intestinal distress and loss of control. I laughed so hard I almost experienced loss of bladder control.

One of the funniest suggestions was substituting the gummi bears for the per-ccolonoscopy cleansing prep. It could definitely work, and would at least taste better going down.

[niyad]

174. a most excellent idea!

[AlbertCat]

206. These reviews....

..... buck up my confidence in mankind.

My fave:

"Customers who bought this also bought:
Pepto-Bismol
4 pack of baby wipes
Stomach pump
Air Freshener
Coffee straws
Gatorade
Bullets"

[Fuddnik]

120. And Graham Crackers and marshmallows.

They can shit s'more.

[GeorgeGist]

15. Laughter is the best medicine.

[Quixote1818]

16. Lets send them boxes of dog crap. nt

[niyad]

53. now, why would we want to expose the postal carriers to that?

[surrealAmerican]

17. Do they really expect a letter carrier ...

... to come within range of their weapons?

... or will they be coming to collect those provisions from the post office?

[lpbk2713]

19. How 'bout some nice snow cone syrup?

You clowns might enjoy that while you're standing around a campfire in sub-freezing temps.

[Photographer]

20. Another piece on the subject...

http://www.rawstory.com/2016/01/abc-killed-journalism-saturday-night-by-using-this-one-weird-tweet/

[Erich Bloodaxe BSN]

74. Tamron Hall referred to them as 'citizen activists' this morning. nt

[Tipperary]

23. Please tell me they are not allowed to receive supplies?

[Skittles]

55. doesn't seem right to expect the USPS to help them with their pathetic efforts

[Tipperary]

63. I cannot believe they should be allowed to receive anything since they are illegally

occupying property.

[dembotoz]

68. we could deliver some stuff by drone

no need to put usps, fedex or ups to risk

[Fuddnik]

121. I'd suggest a Hellfire Missile.

But this is funnier than the Daily Show.

[gratuitous]

71. That carrier's oath only mentions heat, snow, rain, and gloom of night

So I think the postal carriers wouldn't feel obliged to deliver to a pack of overgrown spoiled brats.

[Rex]

77. I say they can stay if they clean up bird poop.

Do something productive for winter socks, those things don't grow on trees.

[Nay]

161. As a former USPS worker, I can tell you all that NO mail carrier is required to

deliver mail in dangerous situations. So, no, there will be no USPS deliveries to this place.

[Ned Flanders]

111. Local RV park sent them chili, so I called them...

I generally don't get in peoples' faces, but I'm so done with the tea baggers/sovereign citizens/miltia whackjobs.

So when one of the articles mentioned that Ron Gainer, owner of a local RV park, had delivered them chili, I googled him and found his phone number. The lady who answered the phone (I used the 800 number, to cost them that extra 50 cents) said that Mr. Gainer was "unavailable." I tried to be as polite as possible, but I think she took exception to me asking her why she was delivering food to an armed insurgency against the U.S. government. Actually, yes, she got a bit upset, so I started feeling guilty.

Until she said she had a right to make a profit selling them her food.

Well, I told her she should probably find good legal representation, since according to U.S. anti-terrorism laws, she could probably be found guilty of aiding and abetting. Assuming, of course, that the Feds do arrest the Bundy clan.

I apologized for taking up her time, and politely ended the call.

[oldandhappy]

173. good for you! well done.

[jberryhill]

176. "she got a bit upset"

Tough shit.

They obviously wanted the publicity of having supplied these domestic terrorists, or they wouldn't have been mentioned in the paper.

If they think people have a "right" to take over a wildlife refuge, then I hardly see why they should be upset that someone would like to speak to them about it and share their opinion of it.

People also deserve to be aware of businesses that support domestic terrorism:

---
http://www.narrowsrvpark.com/

Your hosts, Ron and Linda Gainer, will ensure you receive the finest in Western hospitality.


https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2016/01/03/armed-militia-bundy-brothers-take-over-federal-building-in-rural-oregon/

Ron Gainer, the owner of a nearby RV park who dropped off some chili for the occupiers, told the broadcaster that he counted about 15 people, a half-dozen vehicles and a trailer at the site.
--------

I couldn't give two shits if she "got a bit upset". Fuck those people sideways.

[lumberjack_jeff]

190. One hopes that the pizza delivery kids are intercepted at the police checkpoint. n/t

[kairos12]

25. Considering there is no Law Enforcement in place people could ship them an M1 tank.

[freshwest]

27. Those are great! I'd tweet: GET A JOB, YA BUMS! Because they think they're so special... n/t

[spanone]

28. maybe the feds could offer them catering?

dumb. fucks.

[Drifter]

35. Let them stay ...

but since they are occupying a federal building, I do not think it is unreasonable to charge them for staying there. $50 per person per night seems fair. I would also send a food truck up there and sell them $50 hamburgers.

Cheers
Drifter

[niyad]

54. excellent plan.

[classykaren]

152. No cut off all city services like Philly did to the Move members years ago cut off water, electric

heat They even had children there. Remember seeing the Quakers cross the police lines to bring them food. No mail. Freeze them out.

[passiveporcupine]

36. As of today there was nobody blocking access and they were coming and going

to the Wal-Mart in Burns. What...no socks or redbull or snacks at Wal-Mart?

And snacks? You asked for snacks and redbull? I thought you were tough survival dudes and you want snacks on your camping trip? And you think you guys are going to last for years? OMG,that is hysterical.

[elmac]

45. I miss the good ol days when warriors

ate concertina wire and pissed napalm.

[3catwoman3]

87. That is hilarious!

Thank you for the best laugh of the night.

[elmac]

109. Your welcome,

have a good night.

[csziggy]

76. There doesn't seem to be a Walmart in Burns, Oregon

There is one in Ontario, Oregon, nearly 100 miles from Burns and 160 miles from the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge.

[passiveporcupine]

99. sorry, I should have linked to the video I saw of them talking about it

Cause I might be wrong. Maybe they said Safeway, or maybe they said Wal-Mart, but meant Safeway. I thought I saw it on Oregon Live but I might have seen it somewhere else. I usually do links but there have been so many damned stories on this now I'm just spinning.

It was a few of the militants talking and I think it wasn't even to news, but to social media. Maybe it wasn't even a video, maybe it was a facebook post or something. Sorry...my bad.

I'm too wrapped up in this reality TV show...because I live in Oregon, and I hate to see this happening in our state. Although parts of the state are like a whole different state...red as can be.

[csziggy]

117. I had seen/heard other references to these guys getting stuff from Walmart

So it's not just you. I was just curious if a town as small as Burns might have a Walmart and looked it up.

It was not intended as a criticism of any comment you made. My husband had said something about it earlier so it seems to be a pretty wide spread rumor.

[passiveporcupine]

128. Oh it's OK,and it's good to know it's not just me that heard or read it.

Most of these guys probably shop at Wal-Mart at home, so maybe it just slipped out.

[LiberalArkie]

179. Wal-Mart has been putting in mini stores branded Wal-Mart but they are like a Dollar General in size

[mountain grammy]

37. Fox heroes, pathetic children.

[Marrah_G]

38. <3 twitter people

The comment on Afghan food was precious

[Snarkoleptic]

40. I can ship them an old birdwatching book, half empty book of matches,

John Wayne movie on Betamax, and some really scratchy institutional toilet paper.

[mdbl]

150. Thrown in a couple of duck calls from Duck Dynasty

and you have a revolution!

[grntuscarora]

41. Cheese doodle warriors.

What a gaggle of idiots.

[KamaAina]

42. White socks and white cheddar popcorn for all!

[Paka]

43. As the saying goes:

Too funny for words.

[Stryder]

44. Snow camo?

You gonna sneak out the back door?
While the FBI is having lunch maybe.
Declaring YeeHawd for sure.

[Iggo]

47. I'll trade 'em Socks for Guns.

Fuck that worthless dirty corrupt gubmint money. Let's barter like big boys!

[niyad]

49. hmmm, socks with smallpox, water with e coli or giardia, snacks with salmonella,

cold weather gear with. . . and so on. .

works for me.

[Javaman]

51. "equipment for cold weather:

morons.

Like I said in another thread, the feds don't have to do a thing, just given this morons a month and they will destroy themselves.

just block all the road access to the site and nature will do the rest.

[Monk06]

98. Ignore them and bill them for the inevitable mess they'll leave behind

[Volaris]

127. 'Equipment for cold weather' LOL

Ummm yes. Because Oregon. in fucking JANUARY derpyderpDERPderp...

Youre right Feds need to cut power and access and let them all freeze to death.

The FBI post-event press conference will be 3 sentences:

"Winter is Coming. Thank you all for being here today. God bless America."

[Gore1FL]

56. We should all send condoms with a note that reads "please don't reproduce."

That's a small investment for the greater good.


The address is at the tweet.

https://twitter.com/imraansiddiqi/status/683764510662901760/photo/1

[LakeVermilion]

57. Heat will be a problem sooner or later,

the only heat must be from propane. Eventually the tanks will run low. I'm also predicting an acute shortage of toilet paper. Plumbing will be a problem if the electricity is cut off.

[SunSeeker]

60. Thanks. I needed the laugh.

[world wide wally]

61. Close the gate and close the park.

Then, if they leave and try to get back in, arrestn them for trespassing.

[Jerry442]

62. Mallet & bag of sand.

See if they take the hint.

[Kalidurga]

65. Well I never woulda thought

that I would ever laugh my ass off at the thought of someone being cold and hungry.

[Cal Carpenter]

94. And I never woulda thought

I'd laugh my ass off at someone laughing their ass off at the thought of someone being cold and hungry...

[TeamPooka]

67. These guys have a valid claim to trademark the term "idiot." nt

[Tarc]

69. This building is completely sealed and surrounded, right?

I certainly hope that these nutjob terrorists are actually unable to receive care packages.

[csziggy]

79. As of noon today CNN was doing live reports from the location

So the "occupied" site is not sealed at all.

[63splitwindow]

70. Here's something else they need...

[link:|

[Rex]

75. So they hijack a bird sanctuary and now need socks?

Are they feeding these animals? It is amazing the lack of worry to government property I hear the usual suspects crying about in the news. Are they stupid?

Stupid domestic terrorists crying about the govt oppressing Moses and slavery or bird poop? I read there is a brigade of TVEE cars there...what are their demands?

Socks for bird poop cleanup? Are they going to let people in there to take care of the birds? The GOP morans are coming unhinged, Glenn Beck can be heard slobbering all the way to Oregon.

[SCVDem]

78. Damn pretend soldiers!

They have problems and they are armed.

Let them eat their guns.

Pussy assed tough guys, welcome to reality based life!

[mrdmk]

95. Nothing like the good ole days of the Great War!

Longing for the days of old, here is a picture of that event...



Not trying to be heartless here, there is time to admit the planning was flawed.

/

[sarge43]

154. Yup. Video games and real world: Not the same thing, idiots. n/t

[Blue Owl]

80. Hosiery for hosers

[AwakeAtLast]

81. Wait, we were supposed to bring gear?

[2naSalit]

142. Gear...

what kind of gear? Gear for what?

[3catwoman3]

83. Empty tummies and cold tootsies can...

...make life pretty miserable.

[dflprincess]

84. I have the sense that the "leaders" of these idiots

were out at a bar right before this happened trying to prove "Quien es Mas Macho" (the SNL game show from way back)

And when they woke up and their hangovers wore off they realized they were in a building in the middle of a bird sanctuary.

[Bjorn Against]

86. Instead of doing laundry I can send my dirty socks to them, I will make sure they are extra smelly

[Marie Marie]

90. My heroes - The Mythbusters would outlast them all with a single roll of duct tape.

Pussies!

[csziggy]

91. I thought about it for about five minutes earlier today

And one of the things I considered if I were to occupy a remote location would be to buy some of those emergency freeze dried food supplies. At Costco you can get one year supply for one person for just under $1000 that includes two water barrels.

But then if these guys are relying on their government aid checks to make ends meet, they can't afford to actually buy supplies, can they?

[MarianJack]

92. I volunteer some Ex-Lax...

...but they're way too full of shit!

PEACE!

[w0nderer]

93. sounds like Hitlers Russian excursion

...it'll be over before winter
won't need winter equipment
what ever


oops

[Monk06]

96. Don't firgit the pork rinds, Rollin Rock and lip balm. Especially don't firgit the hemorrhoid creme

and TP

[Marthe48]

97. Not prepared for 3 days

let alone years. I know little children who go to the playground better prepared.

[underpants]

105. 3 days. Didn't Fox News mock people in New Orleans for not being prepared

?

[Marthe48]

163. I think they did

People in New Orleans were trapped in an unplanned disaster. The idiots in Oregon put themselves in the position they are in.

[underthematrix]

101. Who the phuck plans a terrorist siege for years and forgets to bring some phuckin food?

Dumb shits

The Yallqaeda tweets will have you laughing til you cry.

[Gothmog]

102. From my twitter feed

[tclambert]

104. The revolution will take a pause due to lack of toilet paper.

"We are ready to die fighting the gub'mint, but you expect us to go a week without some ultra-soft Charmin?"

[L. Coyote]

106. They are Utah and Nevada lunatics, NOT Oregonians. We want to deport them

but i think they are cherry picking Oregon for the nice prisons full of white people.

[center]?1451863542

[passiveporcupine]

186. I wish you were right but

There are supposed to be some Oregonian militants out there too...maybe not, but they asked them to come. Oregon has some of these nuts too.

[blackspade]

107. K&R

What a pack of dumbfucks.

[underpants]

110. The gift shop wasn't extensively stocked as they had assumed

[ohnoyoudidnt]

116. Did they run out of smores flavored schnapps?

[KT2000]

118. no USPS delivery for them!

Surely the federal employees filed change of address forms when they closed the office. Their cheese puffs will probably go to an office in Portland. They better brace for the socks, red bull and cheese puffs on their way!

[63splitwindow]

122. Well, they had snacks at Valley Forge didn't they?... n/t

[Volaris]

132. your post make me think that this whole hilarious affair

is going to end up being grist for the South Park mill.

[anigbrowl]

123. This is hilarious, but recall that OWS similarly disorganized (and derided) in its first days.

I hope it will fizzle and be wrapped up in court, but other people share this group's anti-establishment ideals.

[Beartracks]

212. OWSers should demand that these wanna-be-Rambos....

.... get jobs.

===============

[kcr]

221. OWS took over Federal lands and buildings? Gosh, I didn't know that n/t

[anigbrowl]

223. Please do not put words in my mouth, which is a dishonest thing to do.

All I pointed out was that the first OWS folks also sent out tweets about stuff they needed and people mocked them for it. Look it up yourself - you might have to scroll down a few times but I got right back to the beginning of OWS within seconds: https://twitter.com/hashtag/needsoftheoccupiers

It does not mean that I think the guys in Oregon are justified or that they are just like OWS, as you well know. My point was that many people did not take OWS seriously at first either, and underestimated the seriousness of the participants.

[passiveporcupine]

129. Another proof of the "loony tunes" status

Aamond Bundy says God told him to do this.

Not in those words, but basically that's what he's saying and that he knows what God is thinking.

Here is a video of him explaining this. I almost couldn't stand to watch the whole thing, but I did.

&feature=youtu.be

Now my biggest question is, if they want people to join them, why are they not laying out the facts, that they believe happened, and the constitutional writings that are being broken by not stopping the law from arresting, bringing to trial and sentencing people who break the law. He refuses to talk about the fact that the Hammonds and the Bundys broke the law and that it's the government that is wrong, not them.

SO you get pablum with a big scoop of God and patriotism and please please please come and help us...it's the right thing to do. Oh, and don't forget...bring snacks. (just kidding about the snacks)

[passiveporcupine]

134. Oh noes

there is another thread now where NPR is reporting that the militants have said if the town of Burns asks them to leave they will.

Wooops! I guess God changed his mind.


Message from town:

"Don't let the door hitcha where the Lord splitcha!"

Lets hope this is for real.

[Crowman1979]

160. What a shitty leader IMO!

Half of his speech consisted of the word "uhh", not to mention his soft speaking voice.

[Marthe48]

164. Hoping for his own reality show?

If he gets a show, hope it is like 'Orange is the new black'.

[Liberty Belle]

130. blankets with bedbugs, socks with fleas

Might get them out of there a bit faster.

Where are the Colorado readers? Perhaps some of those special cookies and brownies you get there could mellow them all out.

[OldHippieChick]

184. Washington is closer

Just sayin'

[jmowreader]

201. You can get those cookies and brownies in Oregon now

Y'know, this could work to our advantage...go watch the War Game scene in The Dirty Dozen.

[Liberty Belle]

131. This is the delivery "service" I would use:

?quality=65&strip=all&w=600


Second funnier image, can't get it to embed: http://www.tahoedailytribune.com/news/13312080-113/bear-bears-break-doors

[TygrBright]

133. "hmmmm... extra clip or warm sox... which am I more likely to need?" n/t

[NBachers]

137. "MO-OM!"

[pinboy3niner]

145. "Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah. I never should have left Nevada...

People are laughing, making fun of us.
Please send ticket for the next homebound Greyhound bus."

With apologies to Allan Sherman.

[passiveporcupine]

187. Love it! Thanks!

That should go on facebook.

[sdfernando]

203. Ponchielli wrote the tune.

It's from Dance of the Hours from La Gioconda....1876.

[Deuce]

138. No sympathy for these criminals...

[Kablooie]

144. Don't worry kiddies. Three hots and a cot is waiting for you at the local penitentiary.

[Hugin]

146. They could cook the bacon they don't have using the "Ted Cruz barrel wrap method".

If they remembered to bring ammo.

Just trying to be helpful.

[rpannier]

147. I need to see a pic of the whole group

I'm beginning to think these guys are really my old mates from Billionaires for Bush
That group certainly sounds like street theater

[txwhitedove]

149. The FBI is hanging back, the Sheriff just asks

them to leave... No shots need to be fired because those militant morons are being roasted in the court of public opinion. Laughingstocks! National Lampoon's Militia.

[harun]

158. Smart, just let the cold weather and boredom do their work for them.

Then deal with them later.

[DinahMoeHum]

155. Wow, even the "Oathkeepers" didn't want this stand-off. . .

https://www.oathkeepers.org/the-hammond-family-does/

[harun]

157. Hope they thank the Federal employee, aka Postal Worker who delivers these goods

out to the middle of nowhere in the winter.

[DI Freighter Watcher]

162. Water

I am sure the people of the city of Flint MICHIGAN will send all the tap water they want.

[Nitram]

165. I'll send them a package... nt

[NorthCarolina]

168. Snacks and socks....but not underwear????

Hmmm...

[Fortinbras Armstrong]

169. Typical right-wing freeloaders

Send us free food and other things, because we don't want government handouts.

[Hugin]

172. Precisely.

Hypocracy has no better friend than a right wing nut. With them it's a lifestyle.

[Glassunion]

171. What the F**K is wrong with you folks? These are people in need, who are cold and hungry.

We should look into our hearts and dig deep to donate...

I have a broken VCR, 2 pairs of old flip flops, a summer dress, and a beach ball I can send them.

[nashville_brook]

175. there's that famous rugged individualism.

[niyad]

178. question here: I keep hearing that these domestic terrorists are mormons. don't the

mormons have to have supplies for a year? didn't they bring theirs?

[tabasco]

181. I'll send them some applications for military service

but the fat stupid bums would never make it through basic training.

[yellowcanine]

182. They "planned" a take over in 10 degree weather and forgot warm socks?

Yeah the Feds should be real worried about these guys.

[yellowcanine]

183. Feds should trade one warm sock for one assault rifle.

Oh you want a PAIR of socks? That will be two guns, please.

[yellowcanine]

185. Reddit Users Respond.........

https://upvoted.com/2016/01/04/oregon-militia-asks-for-snacks-reddit-users-plan-to-send-glitter-instead/

?w=1000&h=500&crop=1

[ChisolmTrailDem]

188. Baby food, diapers, and sparkly fingernail polish...Love it! nt

[jillan]

194. That is hilarious!! nt

[rateyes]

191. They sound a bit organizationally challenged

as in they couldn't organize a pissing contest at a brewery.

[Cheap_Trick]

192. I wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire.

But I would send them some Ex-Lax disguised as Hershey's bars, and some potato chips cooked in Olestra. Maybe some Hello Kitty socks. Some Bertie Bott's jelly beans, but only the Booger, Dirt, Earthworm, Earwax, Rotten Egg, Soap and Vomit flavored ones.

These inbred, cousin humping sacks of monkey shit are such candy asses that if they fell on an ant hill the ants would eat them alive.

[Contrary1]

195. Don't forget lots of candy sweetened with Xylitol...

That will keep them busy for a while.

[Cheap_Trick]

204. mmm, yes

Forgot those Gummy Worms. And we send them these things after we shut off the water.

[George II]

193. Someone should send them a huge bag of horse shit. That should feed them for a while.

[HassleCat]

205. Priorities, priorities.

They remembered the important things -- firearms and ammunition. Just as all freedoms are secondary to the right to bear arms, so it is that food and clothing are secondary to having lots of fire power.

[Doctor_J]

207. Sorry guys. This will only lead to a cycle of victimhood and dependency.

I suggest you grab your bootstraps, or eat them, whichever is more urgent, and stop whining.

[Solly Mack]

208. Dear Fellow Patriots of the One True America

You may well remember the battle of Jade Helm and how successful we were at holding the government at bay. We saved Texas and we can save Oregon too!

We understand that you can't be with us here in person, due to your government checks being delayed, and we know your Medicare paid for scooters don't do well in the snow, but you can still be here in spirit!

Remember us while using your SNAP card at the grocery store! Buy a little extra and send us as much as you can. Just go down to your local U.S. Post Office and show your support by sending a care package today!

We'll take money or goods. Cash is preferable, as we don't trust the banks either.

You may be aware of our cause: To defend true Americans from the tyranny of government by exercising our right to trespass on federal lands and to threaten violence against those who deny us that right.

You may know our goals: To restore the Constitution because, obviously, we're not really free if we can't take up arms against the government.

If you're tired of the government telling you you can't engage in armed insurrection, then please send your donations today!

Even though we were well prepared for this moment, can a person ever truly be prepared for the restoration and glory of sedition?

Your help is needed.


P.S. Please send netting. The birds are shitting all over us. A government plot if ever there was one.






(Disclaimer: I am NOT mocking those that rely on government services. I AM mocking those who rely on government services and support anti-government, tea party-esque ignorance.)

[Photographer]

211. Wonderful!!!!

[Angry Dragon]

213. just a bunch of terrorists

[NCjack]

215. Too bad John Candy can't make the movie. /nt

[Nac Mac Feegle]

217. As suggested previously:

There's what, about 15 guys in there?

Send in about 3-4 bags of the Dreaded Haribo Sugar Free Gummi Bears, hack in to the security cameras, and stand back.

Forward the video to Youtube, and make the entire militia movement(pun intended) into a laughingstock forevermore.

Non-lethal, low cost, simple, and effective; they'll come crawling out by themselves begging for something to relieve the agony.

"And the Youtube videos will be frickin' hilarious."

[ejbr]

218. Maybe we should send warm food

to the postal carrier so he/she can thank them for hooking her/him up with free eats.

[Island Blue]

219. "Give me liberty or give me snacks!"

Oh fuck liberty, just send Pop Tarts. Or Cheetos. Or Funyuns.

[L. Coyote]

226. Lots more new TOONs today:

[center]The #BundyBunch was spotted this morning, foraging for snacks.



Many more at the link.

[calimary]

228. An oldie but goodie I just stumbled upon.

No idea how I landed here, but it was fun reading all over again.