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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsParents let 9YO boy decide to end brain cancer fight
After fighting a rare form of brain cancer for more than half his life, Ryan Kennedy of Clarkston, Mich. has made the decision to stop treatment. When doctors told his mother about yet another surgery - one that could give him just three more months to live, but possibly with a breathing and feeding tube - he refused.
http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/parents-9-year-old-boy-decide-treatment-5-years-fighting-brain-cancer-article-1.1078896
This is a tough thing to do because many neighbors and relatives will not understand it and they will be passionate about their opinion. Many still believe or want to believe that hospitals can cure brain cancers. By and large they can't. They can TREAT it but the treatments are barbaric -- chemo and radiation. I support this family's courage and am glad to hear that so many have poured out support for them, their son and their decision.
Now get that kid to a water park or where ever he wants to go!
PDJane
(10,103 posts)It's not worth further pain and illness. I have an acquaintance going through this now, and yes, there comes a time to let it be. He doesn't need my support, but he has it, as do his parents. Losing chunks of your brain is just not 'healing'.
surrealAmerican
(11,340 posts)It would be inhumane to put the child through this for a diminished quality of life and such a short time. Prolonging and potentially increasing suffering should be against any code of medical ethics.
CaliforniaPeggy
(149,297 posts)After everything he's been through, he has quite an excellent perspective on just what's happening.
Let him be a kid while he still can!
marmar
(76,982 posts)nt
GoneOffShore
(17,309 posts)She's in stage 4 ovarian.
She knows she's at the end, but has beat the odds so far and wants to hold on until the Mayan Apocalypse ("I'll go out with all my friends" . Her quality of life is mostly pretty good, but she would understand this kid.
hlthe2b
(101,714 posts)ProfessionalLeftist
(4,982 posts)Are_grits_groceries
(17,111 posts)Now is the time to let him lay down his 'weapons' and enjoy whatever he can.
There should be no censure from anyone. He understands in ways nobody else does what the cost is and will be to him.
Fly free..........
Th1onein
(8,514 posts)I think they've done some studies in terminal brain cancer -- I believe it was glioblastoma -- in children, with very good results. This stuff is killing tumors that would be the size of canteloupes, in humans, in mice. And, within a week!
I'm not a doctor, but if this were my kid, I'd take this stuff into account.
Warpy
(110,903 posts)of quantity is a good bargain. They might use those three months to graduate, to see a child married, to see the first grandchild. I can't fault them for that.
In my case, the focus would be on how curable a cancer is. For the ones like brain cancer with a poor prognosis, I'd go for palliative treatment, only. Radiation would be aimed at temporarily shrinking the tumor to restore enough function for me to tie up loose ends and get ready to go. Surgery would be out, as would be chemo. Just give me pills if I'm in pain and let me go gently.
The kid in this story made a wonderful informed decision about the end of his life. He's a lucky little boy to have parents who respected it.
adigal
(7,581 posts)Having said that, sometimes when people go off chemo and radiation, they actually get healthier for a few months because chemo is poison and radiation is killing good cells, too. But he is only 9 - I would keep hoping for a miracle cure around the corner. They are coming up with new things every day. I watch cancer treatment carefully, since my sister-in-law has Stage IV sarcoma.
KurtNYC
(14,549 posts)but chemo and radiation are not cures.
I lost a friend at 23 YO to cancer. Both his parents were already gone, also from cancer. At the end he told all who would listen: "If you know what will make you happy (and it doesn't hurt someone else) -- do it. 'Some day' might never come or you may be too sick -- do it ASAP. Don't postpone joy."
to you and your SIL.
Fla Dem
(23,351 posts)pediatric ward pass away. He, more than most, understands. I hope your sister-in-law wins her battle.
rhett o rick
(55,981 posts)go thru any more chemo.
adigal
(7,581 posts)People get very depressed while on it, and lose their will to live. I do understand. I wonder if I were in that situation, would I go for more chemo, or stop it, and eat very organically, an alkanine diet, and meditate for health? I hope I never have to decide.
I hope your friend has peace.
Smilo
(1,944 posts)and undergoing major surgery, chemo and radiation so he can live on tubes for three more months - this is not living it is subsisting.
I commend this very brave, very knowing, very courageous boy and his family.
As the OT said - get this boy to wherever he wants to go and let him LIVE his final moments - not waste away in some hospital bed.
librechik
(30,663 posts)poor little guy--his last moments on earth should be as comfortable as possible, not agony.
SoCalDem
(103,856 posts)After 29 surgeries in his 9 years, we asked our son's opinion on what the next surgery should be.
He chose the option that could have been done many times earlier (a urostomy), but it was HIS (and the physician's concurrence) that made the whole ordeal more acceptable to him.
Has we gone this route (the easiest) when he was a baby, we were afraid that he would have hated us for not trying everything we could do to "fix" what his birth defect had messed up for him.
His doctor later told us in confidence that he had NEVER seen such a young person who was so well rounded and confident, and how so many of his young patients with this defect were "urological cripples" with personality problems and poor body image.
Our son played sports, married and is living a great life, and I really believe a LOT of it came from our insisting that HE be a vital part of his own medical treatment/
Kids are much smarter than many adults give them credit for.
KurtNYC
(14,549 posts)thanks for sharing
Archae
(46,261 posts)And he died happy.
bpj62
(997 posts)As the parent of a 10 year old cancer survivor I can only say "there before the grace of god go I". My son has been lucky so far. He was diagnosed with Non Hodgkins Lymphoma at the age of 4 1/2 and he went through a one year treatment cycle and he just became a survivor in March of this year. I had many dark nights and thoughts surrounding the issue that these parents and thier son are going through and in the end it does really come down to the quality of life for the child and whether or not the treatment will extend thier life but take away thier ability to communicate or walk. At the age of nine I am pretty sure that Ryan knows exactly what will happen to him and I think he is at peace with it. letting go is the hardest thing to do but in the long run the only thing his parents can do is support him and let him know how much they love him. I hope that Ryans remaining months on this planet are filled will love and joy and that his pain will be minimized.
adigal
(7,581 posts)I am so glad your son is doing well. Hugs.
Nye Bevan
(25,406 posts)riderinthestorm
(23,272 posts)to make the hard decisions they feel are best for them about the life and death of their family member.
Is this too much to ask?!
My heart just breaks for this family and this little boy. Now on to Disneyworld and Splash Mountain, and may all of his last days on earth be spent with laughter and joy.
pstokely
(10,510 posts)fundies only care about vegetables and fetuses
NotThisTime
(3,657 posts)remaining days and an easy passing
Initech
(99,913 posts)TBF
(31,921 posts)kas125
(2,472 posts)10th birthday two days before which he wasn't expected to do. As someone caring for my dad who is going through treatment for cancer and watching my sisters and his doctor keep talking him out of discontinuing it when that's really what he wants to do (but for him it's mostly about how much it costs), this story really hit home with me.
Butterbean
(1,014 posts)This story has just hit me so hard for some reason. Maybe it's his little face, I don't know. I'm just so torn up right now, and can't imagine, as a mother, being a mother in that situation. On the one hand, you don't want your child to suffer any more...but on the other, the thought of losing my child forever is a thought that makes me physically ill.
Bless him, he's not hurting any more.
kas125
(2,472 posts)in another town, called me this morning and told me he broke his collar bone last night doing something stupid. (fell over backwards doing a wheelie on a little bicycle, the dumbass...) And even that has me hurting just thinking about it. I cannot even imagine and hope I never know how it feels to have one of my kids diagnosed with an incurable disease from which he'd die. It's hard enough doing this with my dad, who is 83 and has led a full and happy life.
ManyShadesOf
(639 posts)hang out with some non-denominational folks to prepare for the next transition
CTyankee
(63,769 posts)finally my friend had to really make the decision. He was at that point unaware of what was going on. He was spending a lot of time just sleeping. For the last couple of months she had rented a hospital bed and he was cared for at home. She had hospice nurses come in. Then she knew he was going but needed more care than at home so he was moved to Hospice, where he died in his sleep a few days later. It was a dignified and tenderly handled situation. He was only 65.