Airbus has a plan to stack airline passengers. Diagrams of upper seats.

[underpants]

Think flying is already cramped? Wait till you see this

--Patent diagrams available at link--

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/think-flying-is-already-cramped-wait-till-you-see-this/

Airbus, one of the top aircraft manufacturers, has designed a new way of seating passengers that will undoubtedly cheer profit-minded airlines while sending shudders of horror through even the most even-tempered customers. In Airbus' vision, passengers will be stacked on top of each other, with a second level of seats above the heads of those seated on the floor.

"In modern means of transport, in particular in aircraft, it is very important from an economic point of view to make optimum use of the available space in a passenger cabin," the patent for the passenger-stacking system notes. "Passenger cabins are therefore fitted with as many rows of passenger seats as possible, which are positioned with as little space between them as possible."

Right, so flying is already bordering on hellish. But the patent points out that it plans to "still more efficiently use the space in a passenger cabin" by using the space above the heads of the poor souls sitting on the floor.

The patent includes several options for using the overhead space in the cabin, including some seats that would recline and allow passengers to lay down during the flight. That wouldn't be so bad, except the passengers below might need to watch out for falling pillows or water bottles.

[lumberjack_jeff]

1. Was the patent accompanied by a really good 2-hour sedative? n/t

[davidpdx]

47. Yeah, but they'll charge you $100 extra for the sedative

The good news is if you volunteer for the seats on the wing you get a $25 discount.

[hunter]

2. This is how much your masters respect you.

Have a nice day.

[underpants]

10. Speaking of which - I showed this to a co-worker

The first thing she said was "looks like a slave ship. No thanks"

[liberal N proud]

3. Assholes to noses

you think the air on an airplane is bad now.

And their plan does not account for over-sized people.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

4. On the positive though.....

...cheerleading teams traveling to competitions will have extra time to practice their pyramid routines.

[Jeroen]

6. lol n/t

[jberryhill]

5. Meh... companies file patent applications on all kinds of things they never do

[hifiguy]

7. True, but this sounds too ghastly NOT to be implemented

by the 1%ers. I remember the days when the customer was king and not the shareholder. Flying is miserable enough as it is but I am sure there are plenty of greedheads trying to figure out how to make it even worse in the name of $$$.

[jberryhill]

13. I don't see anything "worse" about it

These are lie-flat reclining seats. Find that in 31" pitch economy class anywhere. You want to bang your knees and have a 1 inch "recline"?

In the couchet cars on French rail, they are stacked three high.

"I remember the days when the customer was king"

I remember the days when nobody could afford to fly. Period. Customers demand the lowest price ticket, period. That's why they use sites like Kayak etc. to book flights. There is a ranking by price, and that's it. There are two types of fliers on commercial air - the one-offs who got a discount ticket somewhere, and the frequent fliers who book within their loyalty program (and which is generally determined by their home airport).

But, really, explain how being able to lie down would be "worse".

[jberryhill]

14. And... yeah.. looking at it again

That's a 2-2-2 cabin configuration.

Normal coach in a widebody aircraft is 3-4-3

The density in that diagram is lower than normal coach, and probably isn't even imagined for coach.

[Quackers]

50. Yep

They filed a patent last year for bicycle seating on the aircraft.

?ve=1&tl=1

[ProfessorGAC]

8. I Saw This Somewhere Else, Too

I hated it then and i hate it now. More people without coming up with a way to use the back doors to board and deplane is going to make that process just worse and worse. It's already a pain given all the people who are bringing doghouses on board and trying to stuff them into the overhead bins.

This will add another 20 minutes to boarding at the point where the plane it's hottest and most boring.

[underpants]

11. Stacked like cord wood

See post#10 above

[tanyev]

9. You know it's just a matter of time until the seats in coach are all gone.

But they will promise not to sell more tickets than there are hand straps.

[underpants]

12. Or....the other 1/2. Saw an ad for Air Emirates last night

Jennifer Aniston is looking for the shower and bar. She is in a bathrobe. The crew laughs at her.

Turns out some flights on Emirates DO offer a shower and a sit down bar. So I looked it up.

First class- round trip - Bsltimore (via Dubai) to Dublin Ireland. $43,014.68.

[underpants]

32. Ryanair is already on that

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/aviation/9661829/Seatbelts-on-planes-are-pointless-says-Ryanair-boss.html

[tanyev]

59. Unbelievable. What is wrong with people?

I don't fly much, but even I have had a landing that was rough enough that I was very thankful for the seatbelt that was holding me securely in my seat. We've ridden Amtrak once and although I appreciated the large seat and ample leg room, I really wished I had a seat belt available. Felt naked without it.

[DFW]

15. I saw something similar decades ago

Art Buchwald wrote a column about 40 years ago where he was "interviewing" a seat designer for the Air Line industry.

The interviewer sarcastically suggested eliminating the overhead space above the passenger seats and using it to store additional paying passengers horizontally. Apparently, someone in the contemporary air line industry came across the article, and verified that the suggestion had never been patented.

What the enterprising man from Airbus either didn't know or deliberately ignored, was that Art Buchwald was one of the greatest satirists of the 20th century. He never patented his idea because he had intended it as a gross exaggeration of the cynicism and inhumanity of the air line industry. The last thing he expected was for any version of his ludicrous suggestion to be taken seriously.

Of course, there is also the distinct possibility that the Airbus guy never heard of Art Buchwald, and was just being an asshole all on his own.

[underpants]

19. Buchwald was hilarious

He sued Eddie Murphy and the studio over "Coming to America" and won. He'd written basically the same script many years prior.

I think this was an unassisted solo flight by someone at Airbus.

[DFW]

23. Art and my dad were friends for decades.

They were both in DC in the days when the print press was a group of men and women who all knew each other. Art, Jack Anderson, Bob Novak, Helen Thomas--both right and left all knew each other pretty well.

Art was a prince of a guy, and his wit stayed with him up until his rather ignoble end. He deserved better.

[pinboy3niner]

31. I used to see Buchwald MCing the pet show at Hickory Hill in McLean

Ethel Kennedy opened the property to the public every year for a charity benefit that included a pet show, and Buchwald was famous for dressing for his part as ringmaster.

[DFW]

43. Hickory Hill! Man does THAT bring back memories!

Joe III and Bobby Jr. were classmates of mine briefly before their uncle was shot. I grew up in Falls Church, from where my dad commuted every day into DC.

[pinboy3niner]

45. I lived in McLean for 15 years

I could say I was close to Ethel's house, but I wasn't exactly in that neighborhood. I was more in the neighborhood behind Dart Drug.

[DFW]

46. Falls Church was considered wilderness back then

One of the biggest excitements in my neighborhood when I was growing up there is when the roads got paved.

I don't remember the Dart Drug in McLean, but I rarely went there except when invited by the friendly natives. Now, my brother lives and works in the area, so I visit more often, but I still don't really know my way around except how to get to his house from the airports (Dulles and National).

[pinboy3niner]

49. Dart is in the shopping center with the Gucci Giant, across the street from regular Giant

On Old Chain Bridge Road, just down the street from Evans Farm Inn.

The Gourmet Giant (known to locals as the Gucci Giant) used to be an A&P, but when A&P closed, Giant grabbed the lease to prevent another competitor from moving in right across the street from the Giant supermarket. They made it an upscale, gourmet market and had a black-tie opening which some of the Kennedys attended.

I swear they had a decorator arranging their produce section, long before supermarkets began doing that. It was fun to walk through and pick up a couple of their chocolate croissants, but the prices were pretty upscale. I remember their Norwegian salmon going for more than $70/pound in the '80s.

My ex moved to Falls Church when we split and my son went to Falls Church HS. My brother and his family also lived in FC for a year when they were on TDY to the Pentagon.

[DFW]

52. I know my brother sometimes shops at a Giant

Safeway, too. I remember them since I like the Turkish restaurant near one of them, and get flax seed at the GNC around the corner (same corner?). Usually I just hang out when I'm there. Go into DC when there's stuff to do. Helen Thomas is unfortunately no longer with us, so our "hot dinner dates (as she called them)" are over, but I occasionally go to the White House or see members of Congress I know, and having family 20 minutes away by car is always a bonus. I hear hotels in DC are not cheap.

After college, my brother moved back to NoVa, the only one of us to return to our roots. My sister is an opera singer in NJ/NY. I went to Texas over 30 years ago (Via Spain, northern Mass. Philadelphia and back to Boston), and now, of course, I'm in Germany. It's hard to think that Bailey's Crossroads was once the center of the universe for me!

[underpants]

54. Falls Church before it was PAVED?!

Wow that is another world.

[DFW]

56. Our part of Falls Church, not "downtown."

To the extent that Falls Church could have been said to have a "downtown" in those days.

The postal address was Falls Church, but we were a good 20 minutes outside of town. We were the real-life boonies. When my parents built the house, we were the third family in the area.

[leveymg]

16. They could just do away with luggage altogether and add a sub floor of seats - Fly Dungeon Class!

If it's good enough for your dog, just go ahead and join 'em!

[underpants]

18. Great idea

Well there would be the expense of equipping that area with oxygen masks....nah a few steak dinners and some hookers to the right people and they can avoid that.

[Octafish]

17. Perhaps ''Flight of the Phoenix'' for more sadistic inspiration...

[underpants]

20. LOL

Hey! Best view on the plane! Can't beat THAT!

[Octafish]

25. No waiting to use the lavatory, either.

There'd be one long brown streak flying off toward those people in Third Class, holding on to the vertical stabilizer. And I was trying to hold it.

[uppityperson]

21. A metronome needs to be installed to coordinate breathing so more could be fit in

[underpants]

22. That's the kind of thinking we like around here!

Why didn't anyone else in this board room think of that?!?!

[nilram]

24. gee, hope no one seated above me is getting airsick...

[KamaAina]

26. The passengers at the top would need to climb stairs or ladders to reach their seats above the floor

My, how very accessible!

[Snobblevitch]

27. Does Airbus have a current aircraft in which this is feasible?

It seems to me that the fuselage would need to be of greater diameter on most of their aircraft to make this work, unless they're going to do it in that humongous plane they have that doesn't have many routes.

[underpants]

36. No but they have this

For first class

[Snobblevitch]

37. Is the A380 the Airbus that can carry

something like 800 passengers on two decks?

I remember when the 747 had a lounge in the hump. There was a spiral staircase to get up there.

[Warpy]

28. Eager beaver mid level execs keep having people come up with this shit

They float a diagram, the public explodes, and nothing is done about it.

This one is especially stupid, it looks like people on the bottom will spend the flight looking at the pair of shoes on the person above them.

[underpants]

35. Well they have the A380 which offers showers and a bar - for first class

On another thread (about that video) I priced out a fligt from DC to Dublin (via Dubai) $43,000. And that's not the A380.

[daleo]

61. That's the one percenter ad of all time

[1939]

29. That dome on the Boeing 747

Used to be a first class lounge and it was very nice. Now it is an extension of coach with 3-3 seating.

[SheilaT]

60. It depends on the airline.

Most of the ones I've looked at have their business class in that upper deck.

I'm old enough to have flown 747s with that first class lounge. I was also an airline employee, so I mostly flew first class, lucky me. Loved that lounge.

[PowerToThePeople]

30. I want the upper seat, but will eat some burritos first.

[dembotoz]

33. hate it when someone beat me to it

[Snobblevitch]

38. On my last flight I was in the aisle seat.

There was an attractive woman of about 40 in the middle seat. We said hello, I helped the put her carry on in the bin. Before takeoff and the accompanying engine noise, she let out a huge fart. I tried to keep quiet, but the 20 year old kid (male) in the window seat started to snicker. I only stifled a snicker. The lady said in a quiet voice, "all right boys (I am older than 40) Sorry about that, but we all fart, everyday." I told her I apologized for my amusement and the kid said me too. We didn't really engage in conversation after that. I usually wear headphones to discourage conversation. If I was single, I may have liked to learn more about her. As it is, I have the story of the "Farting Beauty on Delta." (My wife is tired of hearing this story.)

[GummyBearz]

39. Help me understand...

How huge a fart are we talking about here? Was it the loudness, duration, or both? Go ahead and expand on your story, it has my interest

[Quackers]

51. It was loud enough that roaring airplane engines couldn't hide the noise!

[SoapBox]

34. ugh.

First...a safety nightmare in an emergency.

Second...climbing steps to get up and down? Another mess...not to mention ADA would not approve.

Third...like others, I don't want to sit in the bottom row, with someone's ass in front of me.

This is as dumb as the proposed "standing" seats.

[danhowitt1]

40. from Dan Howitt newby

Hello I'm new here and thankz much for this thread. Can't believe it! Gonna talk to others about it.
Best all, Dan Howitt. Tks again.

[flamingdem]

41. Uniteds new narrow seats are a disaster

so uncomfortable especially for those getting in and out. Long legs? You're in misery.

[MrScorpio]

42. Do passengers get a discount for mooing during the entire flight? nt

[pinboy3niner]

44. Only if they give milk

WHOLE milk, none of that 1% or 2% crap.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=7239263

[Liberal_in_LA]

48. ugh.

[SheilaT]

53. Former airline employee here,

Meaning I flew a LOT in the distant past, almost always in first class, back when coach was not something you'd wish on your worst enemies.

I keep on thinking that there really is a limit beyond which the airline companies won't go. Maybe I'm wrong.

Meanwhile, when I must fly, I book first class. Don't care how much it costs. In November I'm flying from Albuquerque to Fort Lauderdale. I booked a first class seat. Don't care that it's somewhat more expensive than coach. I want the comfort and luxury of first class.

Earlier this year I was returning from somewhere in the Pacific northwest, and in the gate area, shortly before we were to board, the gate agent made an announcement: there was a first class seat available for fifty dollars, exit rows seats for I forget how much. I went briskly to the podium, said I'd happily take the first class seat. I was refunded the 25 dollars I'd paid to check my bag, and on board proceeded to have four, count 'em four gin and tonics, so I more than made back the cost for the first class seat.

Next month I'm flying to Fort Lauderdale, and I'm flying first class. Yes, it's more than the cheapest possible coach seat, but I nailed down my booking more than a month ago. And when the airline made a trivial change in one of the flights, I took advantage of that to make my connection a better one. No, I'm not getting the cheapest possible fare, but I am getting a decent connection, and I'll be in first class on all four of my flights.

[underpants]

55. I've heard

My wife got bumped up to first class once and I heeard about it for a while.

[SheilaT]

57. First class can be somewhat amazing, depending on the flight.

Many years ago, sometime in the 1990's, my two sons and I were flying from Kansas City to DC. Because of bad weather in St. Louis, that part of the flight cancelled. So we'd be flying nonstop from Kansas City to DCA (Washington National Airport, and no, I won't acknowledge any other name for that airport). So all of the connecting passengers in STL were rebooked, and there were five or six of us going through to DCA left. The first class flight attendant told the gate agent she wanted us all boarded in first class, so there was a brief delay while first class was appropriately catered.

Keep in mind, I had already (as an airline employee) flown LOTS of first class flights all over the world. But this was the first time either of my sons, then about 7 and 11, had flown in first class. I wound up sitting with younger son, while older son sat across the aisle from us. About half way through the flight, younger son said, "I'd like to do this every time." I told him to appreciate this, because it might never happen again.

He nailed it. First class is lovely for lots of reasons. And I understand that most people can't afford it. I will say that back in the day the first class compartments were often larger than they are now. I recall flying on United from Hawaii to the west coast (again as an airline employee) and first class was 8 rows. 32 first class passengers. It was a morning flight, and I asked for a bloody mary. The flight attendant poured an enormous amount of vodka, a smidgeon of tomato juice, and cheerfully handed me the drink. Needless to say, I sipped on that one drink for hours.

Back in the day, meaning the 1970's, while there was a very clear difference between first class and coach, the coach part of the aircraft just wasn't that terrible. The pitch, meaning the distance between seats, was such that a normal person could fit in the seat.

Here's another example: Back then, when flying first class, you could almost always if in the window seat, move to the aisle to go the restroom without the aisle seat companion needing to move. I've flown first class recently, and it's not like that at all. If the window seat passenger wants to move, the aisle seat passenger also needs to move.

None of us need talk about the crowding in coach, do we?

[pinboy3niner]

58. I always go for the cheapest coach seat :)

Domestic, it's just a short ride and I'm going to save my dough.

International, on long flights to SE Asia they (EVA Air) treated everyone like first class. We got eyeshades and slippers and shaving kits and gourmet meals--filet mignon and wine, with cognac after dinner. I can't imagine what first class passengers got.

[tblue37]

62. Airbus has also filed a patent for 'bicycle seating" on planes:

http://www.businessinsider.com/airbus-bicycle-seat-patent-2014-7

[underpants]

63. That's terrible

Would everyone need to wear bike shorts?
God, flights to Disneyland would be a terror in the skies