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Wed May 23, 2012, 12:23 AM

There are no problems at the SEC. Really. None at all. Nope. Everything is hunky dory.

Well . . . . uh . . . . apart from that Morgan Stanley analyst letting it be known to a very few big money guys to ixnay on acebookfay. Which is completely against the law.

And that IPO day NASDAQ "technical" glitchiepoo.

And then there's that silly little Jamie Dimon thang. Hahahaha. That's a story. ::knee slap:: Those . . . . hahaha . . . . knuckleheads over at JP Morgan Chase . . . . hehehehe . . . . wutta buncha cards. Everything's cool.

Well . . . . except for that pesky $2 billion.

Whooooopsie! Did they say $2 billion. Those kidders. It was . . . . 3 . . . . or so.

Hey . . . . did you know that . . . . well . . . . for a CEO to . . . . uh . . . . "overstate" . . . . heheheh . . . . your company's fiscal health. Well. That's kinda illegal, too.

So today Madame SEC is in the congressional hearing room hot seat.

Squirming.

No good answers.

And next week?

Ol' Jamie's gunna be in town. Facing those paragons of the public good, the congressional hearers. Hearing from Jamie. Who contributed millions to them, collectively.

Lotsa show over there in FinanceLand. There were even some reports of actual hand wringing.




Meanwhile, they want us to work until we're 67 . . . . no . . . . 70. 70's the new 50. Or some shit. Work till you're 80. That Paul Ryan. Smart young kid.

Pensions are quaint. 401Ks are all robbed clean. Social Security is being crunched. Medicare will soon enough be MediWhoCares.



But Jamie and Zucky . . . . they'll all be fine.



They have a guardian angel.










11 replies, 1257 views

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Reply There are no problems at the SEC. Really. None at all. Nope. Everything is hunky dory. (Original post)
Stinky The Clown May 2012 OP
elleng May 2012 #1
gratuitous May 2012 #2
Permanut May 2012 #3
OnyxCollie May 2012 #4
JDPriestly May 2012 #5
suffragette May 2012 #6
coalition_unwilling May 2012 #7
Stinky The Clown May 2012 #8
riderinthestorm May 2012 #9
PA Democrat May 2012 #10
Egalitarian Thug May 2012 #11

Response to Stinky The Clown (Original post)

Wed May 23, 2012, 12:26 AM

1. May be on C-SPAN at 12:35 a.m. EDT.

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Response to Stinky The Clown (Original post)

Wed May 23, 2012, 12:56 AM

2. Oh, come on, what's safer than investing in the stock market?

And don't say "Buying last week's lottery tickets," because that joke is so lame.

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Response to Stinky The Clown (Original post)

Wed May 23, 2012, 01:38 AM

3. See how much better everything goes...

when regulations are non-existent or ignored? That's the free market for ya.

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Response to Stinky The Clown (Original post)

Wed May 23, 2012, 02:11 AM

4. K&R. nt

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Response to Stinky The Clown (Original post)

Wed May 23, 2012, 02:42 AM

5. K&R.

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Response to Stinky The Clown (Original post)

Wed May 23, 2012, 02:49 AM

6. K&R

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Response to Stinky The Clown (Original post)

Wed May 23, 2012, 03:05 AM

7. First it was $2, then $3, then $5 and today i saw that

 

total may rise as high as $7 BILLION!

A billion here and a billion there and pretty soon you're talking real money.

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Response to coalition_unwilling (Reply #7)

Wed May 23, 2012, 08:56 AM

8. We'll never really even know

Those numbers will become muddier and muddier.

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Response to Stinky The Clown (Original post)

Wed May 23, 2012, 09:25 AM

9. Yup. Agreed 110% Stinky. K&R. nt

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Response to Stinky The Clown (Original post)

Wed May 23, 2012, 09:26 AM

10. Unregulated capitalism is like a flesh-eating bacteria which will destroy

its host if left unchecked.

Dimon signed off on JPMorgan's financial statements which included a change to the VAR (value at risk) model that appears to have been made in an attempt to deceive shareholders about the risky positions the bank held in its portfolio. Sarbanes-Oxley requires the CEO to be held accountable for the accuracy of their company's financial reports. Dimon appears to have been in violation of that legal requirement.

The head of the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission told lawmakers on Tuesday that her agency is probing JPMorgan Chase and Co's financial reporting and emphasized that big banks are required to publicly disclose changes to the models they use to measure risk.

SEC Chairman Mary Schapiro assured the Senate Banking Committee that the SEC is investigating JPMorgan's revelation earlier this month that it suffered at least $2 billion in losses on complex trades that started as hedges but morphed into a risky bet.

<snip>
She also addressed reports that JPMorgan changed its value-at-risk (VaR) model, an estimate of losses that could occur on a particular trade or portfolio of trades, in a way that allowed the trading portfolio in question to appear safer than it actually was and gave traders more leeway to make risky bets.

"When there are changes to the VaR model - as newspapers have reported was done at JPMorgan; they changed their VaR model - those changes have to be disclosed," Schapiro said.


http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/05/22/jpmorgan-hearing-idUSL1E8GM5ZM20120522

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Response to Stinky The Clown (Original post)

Wed May 23, 2012, 10:50 AM

11. K&R. I don't even know where to start anymore. n/t

 

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