You can NOT haz cheezburger

[cthulu2016]

The set of Mormon edicts that ban alcohol and caffeine never mention caffeine. What is banned is "hot" drinks. It is reasonable to think that meant coffee when written in the 1800s, and one can extrapolate that to mean the noteworthy active ingredient in coffee.

You know what else is banned right in the same passage?

Meat.

Banned except, "In time of famine." Only if the choice is between meat and dire hunger can you eat meat.

But that is not enforced and has been kind of swept under the rug. Much like, "It must be 5 o'clock somewhere," I suppose there is always a a famine somewhere.

[BumRushDaShow]

1. When you go to the Polynesian Cultural Center in Hawai'i

which is run by Brigham Young U., they only offer lemonade as a drink for purchase (no coffee, tea, soda).

[cthulu2016]

3. The caffeine ban is pretty strict

I was once in a Seventh Day Adventist ownde hospital and they're against meat, caffiene AND PEPPER! They consider black pepper a stimulant. I had to have afriend bring me some because hospital food with pepper is problematic.

On the other hand, 7th day adventists are the lonest lived group in America.

[progressoid]

16. Yeah I noticed that whole pepper thing too.

I was at a 7th Day cafeteria. Same thing. They had flavored salts but no pepper. Weeeeird.

[TlalocW]

7. I was hired to do a magic show and twist balloons at a Mormon Church

In between the magic show and balloon twisting, I think the pastor asked me if I wanted anything to drink, and I gave my normal answer, "Anything with caffeine." There was a moment of silence while he was trying to come up with an answer, and then the lights went on in my head, and I said, "Forgot where I was! Punch is fine." We had a good laugh over that.

I didn't know it was Mormon until I pulled up at the church and was kind of surprised they were having a Halloween Party. I asked the nice lady who hired me about it, and she said there was no problem in the church with Halloween (she had previously expressed disdain at places that have "Harvest Parties&quot .

TlalocW

[cthulu2016]

8. Harvest Parties? It's the war on Halloween!!

[TlalocW]

9. I'm going to give stand-up comedy a try this year at a local club

They have an open-mic night. Part of it will be on the war on Halloween. I just moved to KC from Tulsa, and I had a good time whenever a church called me for a harvest party because I would constantly say Halloween party back to them while taking down details about the party.

I was puttering around in my garage one October when a kid from a local Baptist church (they were canvassing the neighborhood) came up to give me a flyer about their church's Harvest Party. I looked it over and asked him, "Why don't you call it Halloween?" He misheard me because he proudly said, "That's right, sir. We would NEVER call it Halloween." "No, I said, why don't you call it Halloween? You're having costumes, treats, games like apple-bobbing, hayrides, and even bonfires. These are all trappings of a Halloween party. You realize Halloween is not some magic or evil word, right? You are having a Halloween Party but calling it something different. I'm sure your church is against orgies as well. Do you have those as well and call them Happy Pants Parties?"

He left somewhat hastily.

TlalocW

[A HERETIC I AM]

11. Now a "Happy Pants party" is something I could get......err

Into. Yeah, that's it. Into .

[provis99]

2. people only pay attention to the parts of their religion they like.

In Islam, it says only that men and women should dress "modestly"; not a word on why women should wear burkhas, and men wear Western clothing. Conservatives only pay attention to the stuff in the Bible they like, and discount the rest; same with liberals.

Religion is useless as a guide to behavior and morality, since people simply do and believe what they want, and then back-justify it from whatever they can contort out of a "holy" book.

[cthulu2016]

5. Exactly... like the penalties for same-sex sex and shellfish

being the same in Leviticus.

But Fred Phelps never attacks a Red Lobster restaurant.

[Angry Dragon]

15. because there are no gay lobsters

[gratuitous]

6. No they don't

Not that there's anything wrong with having a fifth grade understanding of something - as long as you're in fifth grade, that is.

[provis99]

10. that was a very rude and prickish thing to write.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

[gratuitous]

24. I'm sorry

Are you in the sixth grade, then?

[tkmorris]

13. You seem defensive

You might want to ask yourself why that would be. The answer could be quite revealing.

[bluerum]

4. Selective religiosity is very convenient.

But I suppose changing the rules with the times is not all bad. Imagine if the catholic church dropped a few of it's more archaic traditions. Like only men can be priests, or pedophilia.

[safeinOhio]

12. I should join a Bible study group.

Doesn't hurt to have help looking for loop holes.

[longship]

18. There's always the Bible Geek

Robert M. Price. Yes, he is a conservative, and a likely Republican, but he has a very interesting take on the Bible, as well as an encyclopediac knowledge.

He has a second podcast called The Human Bible which is kinda like Bible 101.

Both are interesting.

BTW he lives in NC and voted against Amendment One.

[safeinOhio]

22. I like Bart Ehrman's take on the Bible.

Read, Misquoting Jesus: The Story Behind Who Changed the Bible and Why.

[jp11]

14. I respectfully disagree.

I can in fact haz cheezburger, allegations otherwise are greatly mistaken, good day sir.

[progressoid]

17. So, iced coffee is OK?

This religion thing is confusing.

[HeiressofBickworth]

19. So Iced Tea

should be OK, too. It's not hot when you drink it, but it starts off hot -- maybe that's the part that's banned, or there is a loophole that says if it becomes cold shortly after it's hot, then it's acceptable. I wonder what the time frame is on that. But yes, I agree, it's so confusing. Glad I don't have to figure it out -- I have no religion.

[limpyhobbler]

20. I've known a bunch of Mormons to use coffee, alcohol, tobacco and other drugs.

A lot of people who are ethnic Mormons (if I may call it an ethnicity) don't follow the religion..

Some even still go to church or whatever, but they party too, and I guess they don't talk about partying at church.

I've also known some uptight holier-than-thou Mormons.
Like any other group, there's some diversity among Mormons on the issue of drugs.

Just sayin.

[muriel_volestrangler]

21. And that's why Mitt has always worked to make sure there is famine somewhere, and always will (nt)

[sufrommich]

23. Like all religions,Mormons ignore the parts of their

book that they don't like. Doesn't exactly set them apart.