question for the forum

[Aerows]

I have two very obvious and sharp scars over my right bicep. I know they are "bars" but I don't know what "bars" mean. I'm from New Orleans if it makes a difference.

I, unfortunately, went through a period of time where I cut myself.

[Aerows]

1. I know this is a distasteful topic

But yes, I went through a period of time where I slashed myself. The pizza guy asked about the scars on my biceps, and called them "bars".

[lpbk2713]

2. Possibly a reference to military insignia.

Did he happen to call you "Corporal" as well?

[Aerows]

3. No?

I really think this is regional, and I'm not joking. I don't know why, but I really did cut myself. I'll upload photos of my leg if you have doubts.

[lpbk2713]

4. I don't know what else then.

It was just a thought.

I took you seriously BTW.

[Aerows]

5. I don't think I'm going to slip

again, and start doing it again. I just bear the memories of what I did on my skin. If I could prevent another person from going down that road, I would. Too much anguish.

[hack89]

9. Did he call them "bar scars"?

bar scar

A wound, cut or bruise you find on your body after a big night of boozing at a bar or club. You usually have no idea of how it got there and probably don't remember much else because you were wicked hammah'd!

Hey dude, what happened to your head?

No, idea. It's a bar scar.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bar%20scar

[Aerows]

15. No, he called them bars and pointed at my bicep

I'm hardly a gang member, but that's what he called them. And they are pretty distinct, since I slashed myself on my bicep.

I'm female, but I work out a lot too, so my biceps are distinct.

[Aerows]

6. I don't even know why I did it to begin with

Cutting myself. I'm hardly a teenager, but I think it had to do with the medication I was on. Now I bear the scars for the rest of my damn life.

[Poll_Blind]

7. He probably thought they were scarification. I live in Eugene, Oregon and...

...it's really not uncommon to see people with some heavily modified bodies. He just might have assumed it was a body modification instead of cutting. I don't know what it is but I've known and dated a number of cutters. In my experience, cutting is more about causing pain that you can control to make the pain that you can't control diminish in comparison. From one human to another, I hope you think twice about cutting if you ever feel that's where you're headed. Get some help or see a doctor. It's a bad habit and unlike, say, an obsessive/compulsive disorder, it leaves physical marks which raise questions/etc. and can feed into more cutting. Some people think cutting is a big deal but I see it as just a different manifestation of the same pain a lot of people feel. In other words, I don't think cutters tend to have anything deeply wrong, psychologically, etc., the manifestation of how they deal with the pain is what's uncommon. I know other people who drown the pain with dope in some form, or alcohol. It's all shades of the same thing, IMO. I used to date a woman who cut and also put out cigarettes on her breasts. None of this happened when we were dating, it was something that had happened in the past.

It was very difficult being intimate with her, at least for a while, and then I did some thinking about what I or some of the other women I'd dated would look like if they wore all their scars on the outside.

IMO, we all bear scars and we shouldn't necessarily be stigmatized by them. They are things which, in some way, reflect on times in our life, who we are or who we were. Like stretch marks, they are a reminder of things we've done, things that have happened to us.

I have also known more than one person in this world who had perfect hair, gleaming white teeth and blemish-less skin...who was far more heavily scarred than the worst cutter I've known.

PB

[Aerows]

10. That was probably

The kindest thing anyone has ever said to me. I appreciate it more than you know. I'm pretty well, now, and won't do it anymore, but it is incredibly nice that someone understands. Thank you.

[Poll_Blind]

11. .

We're all in this together, Aerows.



PB

[Aerows]

14. Yes we are Poll_Blind

and thank you for reminding me of that fact.

[Aerows]

16. Why do people cut to begin with?

I know mine was that I was on Ativan and it fucked me up so badly, even dosed correctly. Then Hurricate Katrina happened, and I was there for the entire storm, start to finish.

EDIT: That is no excuse, though.

[Aerows]

8. I am still beautiful, I hope, though I'm scarred

I hope it won't kill any interest a person could have in me. My face hasn't changed at all, since I never touched it, only on my major muscle groups.

[cthulu2016]

12. It sounds lke your scars are coincidentally

similar to some prison, gang or fashion thing.

[Rex]

13. Maybe he thought of gold bars or bricks?

Are they in the shape of a bar...ie...like a brick? That would be my one and only guess. You are a wonderful person, I am sorry you went through that kind of depression.

[Aerows]

18. Thank you Rex

I am pleased that you are one of those folks that cares. I means so much.

[Aerows]

17. Hurricane Katrina

I don't think I will ever get over her, per se, but I will rise above her. I can't explain what it was like here.

I guess I cut myself to get over an extreme situation. And if you doubt that it was an extreme situation, we had no water for 5 weeks, very little in the way of communications - very little - barely a cell phone, taking a bath was a luxury, and taking a shit was a trauma.

[Aerows]

19. Please don't ever forget

The people that lost their lives. We had it bad, but nothing compared to those who lost their lives. I'm sure you are wondering how I can be still processing this, several years later, but it was beyond comprehension.

[Rex]

20. That must have been a total nightmare.

I remember crying for the people of New Orleans...as President Jackass flew over the area. And of course FEMA managed to fuck up things too. I am sure those kind of scars never heal. I will never get over 9/11. It changed my life entirely.