So -- what if YOU could legally discriminate based on your religion

[Algernon Moncrieff]

Inspired by this thread from TheMasterNemesis: http://www.democraticunderground.com/10026432137

Indiana and Arkansas have passed religious freedom laws allowing businesses to discriminate based on the religious beliefs of the owners. Obviously, this is aimed at businesses that don't want to make cakes with same-sex couple cake toppers. I'm further supposing that this doesn't bode well for women in hijab's or women seeking birth control pills through the health insurance of a Catholic owned business. The implications are horrifying.

...but that doesn't mean that we can't or shouldn't have some fun with this law

There are a LOT of faiths out there, and as TheMasterNemesis correctly points out, anyone with a few bucks can get a divinity degree or a ministerial certification. Suppose a business is owned by those who worship Ra? Suppose a business is owned by Rastafarians? Druids? Wiccans? What could you do with a faith and a license to discriminate?

[It is Tuesday]

1. My religious belief dictates that...

All anti-gay bigots wear a clown outfit, with a big orange sign that says "I AM A HONKING BIGOT".

All anti-women misogynists wear the ugliest dress down to the stilettos

All racist people wear red or blue down to the T's with some sports emblem on it. Preferably Dodgers or Bulls. Those that don't like Latinos must wear somberos and heavy blankets.

[KamaAina]

28. "All anti-women misogynists wear the ugliest dress down to the stilettos"

Even the men?

WEelcome to DU!

[guillaumeb]

2. if I am a member of the Church of Cognitive Dissonance

can I discriminate against people who discriminate?

[notadmblnd]

3. All people who tell me to have a blessed day- pays double.

[misterhighwasted]

6. and Praise The Lord chanters.

I worked with a lady like that.
Every other sentence ended with praise the lord
She should indeed pay double.

[notadmblnd]

23. It's kinda insulting actually

Not necessarily to me but to the person(s) who actually did the deed the religious nut is praising the lord for.

I recently had a narrow escape with death. I didn't thank god for saving my life nor did I praise Jesus. It was the team of Drs. that did their jobs extremely well that saved my life.

[RKP5637]

26. +++ 1,000 +++ n/t

[csziggy]

21. Do I have to wait on a law that says any company that mentions god

In their phone messages or on their web sites does NOT get my business? Those that also put a mention of god on their signs or trucks get my contempt. And if they have Faux Noise on their TV, I turn around and walk out.

But should I have waited for a law to be passed before being discriminating about those things?

[notadmblnd]

22. No, but I bet you tolerate it more than you think you do- besides it is easy to boycott those that

are up front about it.

The "have a blessed day" bothers me particularly because it is usually said at the end of a transaction in stead of a simple "thank you for your business" or just a plain "thank you" and it's usually not the business owner but some clerk is imposing their belief in blessings on me.

[awake]

4. Let's see what happen when a store owner refuses to provide service to a woman

Based on His religious beliefs.

[DirkGently]

5. Lord Haathar The Corpulent forbids

- Selling fishing tackle in excess of 3 oz. to guys named "Jimbo"

- Serving popcorn shrimp or any "popcorn" food to Baptists in hats

- Bowling while Scotch-Irish

- The performance of country music during daylight hours

- Flan

And that's just from Lord Haathar's First Book of Abominations. There's a whole volume on forbidden flatware, and seventeen granite tablets describing the various forbidden T-shirt designs.

His Great Corpulence (May he be ever full of carbs) welcomes this new era of religious freedom.

[Algernon Moncrieff]

15. You clearly understand the spirit of the new law.

His Great Corpulence needs, like Groucho Marx, not to belong to any club that would admit people like him as a member.

[Arugula Latte]

7. I have the religious right to stone to death Confederate Flag-wearing dumbasses.

It says so in my Bible, which I wrote myself.

[Algernon Moncrieff]

16. Get someone with a really good CNC Router

Re-create the carving on the side of Stone Mountain in a large pice of wood or Styrofoam, but change it to include Grant, Sherman, Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain, and G.H. Thomas, and replace the Confederate flags with American flags. When anyone wearing a rebel flag comes in, point to the reimagined Stone Mountain, and explain that, to you, the Confederate flag just represents idocy and failure.

[BlueJazz]

8. No Children under 10 in the main part of my restaurant (I don't have one.)

There would be a separate section for them in a closed part of the establishment though.

[ScreamingMeemie]

9. I wouldn't open a business. I'm not a fan of people, so I'd pretty much find something

to discriminate against you for...

Seriously though, I can't even wrap my head around entering into the customer service industry.

[Cirque du So-What]

10. This is merely a joke

but I believe it contains a seed of truth when it comes to future turmoil:

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too! Are your Christian or Buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, Me too! Are your Episcopalian or Baptist? He said, "Baptist!" I said, "Wow! Me too! Are your Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord? He said, Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are your Original Baptist Church of God or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.

[Algernon Moncrieff]

14. People forget that discrimination against Catholics by Protestants was commonplace 100 years ago

So I see the seed of truth in your post.

[B2G]

11. Your post assumes it's only Christians that will be doing the discriminating

Last time I checked, Islam wasn't too thrilled with gays, alcohol consumption or guide dogs in their cabs.

[Algernon Moncrieff]

13. I think the law assumes that

I think that Muslims and other non Judeo-Christian faiths engaging in discriminatory practices was not what they had in mind when they wrote the law.

[el_bryanto]

24. Nods - I think that Pence wouldn't mind if people also discriminated against Muslims

on religious terms.

Bryant

[MindPilot]

12. I guess us atheists should thank dog that nobody can tell by looking.

ETA: If I were to have a business, I certainly would not discriminate. See, this is where being an atheist with absolutely no moral compass or the spiritual capacity to know right from wrong is an advantage; I don't care who or what you are, I'll gladly take your money.

[RKP5637]

27. +++ 1,000 +++ n/t

[Purrfessor]

17. Church of Saint Claude: Patron Saint of the Fearful

It is hereby decreed that all members of the Church of Saint Claude shall be free to abstain from appearing in any government mandated photographs that one so chooses

Therefore, due to my religious beliefs I am exempted from photo ID requirements for any official purpose that I alone have the freedom to choose, including that of voting.

[Hekate]

18. I would insist that all be blessed by His Noodly Appendage in that I would toss Cup O Noodles....

....at everyone who told me to have a blessed day. And all would shout Ramen!

[Generic Other]

19. I declare backwards day in Indiana

every Sunday. Everyone walk backwards.

[Ghost in the Machine]

20. I don't have a religion, just a low tolerance for stupidity and willful ignorance....

I guess I could have a restaurant with a water hose by the drive thru window and just turn it on and squirt the dumbasses who who come through the drive thru and order their food, then say "to go" at the end of it

Peace,

Ghost

[Zorra]

25. ...

[Algernon Moncrieff]

30. I suddenly have this unexplainable urge to drink a Coke

[HockeyMom]

29. The Religion of the Almighty Dollar

Anyone who can PAY, is welcome.

[Algernon Moncrieff]

31. You have boiled down the stupidity of discrimination

I don't care about the color of your skin; I care about the color of your money.