The Three Most Important Questions You Can Ask Your Teenager (HuffPo)

[YoungDemCA]

Former Yale Professor William Deresiewicz, in his fascinating and controversial book Excellent Sheep: The Miseducation of the American Elite and the Way to a Meaningful Life writes this of the millennials:

"A large-scale survey found self-reports of emotional well being have fallen to the lowest levels in 25 year study... fifty percent of college students report feelings of hopelessness; one-third reported feeling so depressed that it was difficult to function in the last twelve months ... They are stressed-out, over-pressured; (they exhibit) toxic levels of fear, anxiety, depression, emptiness, aimlessness, and isolation.p. 8)"

What gives?

Deresiewicz claims that this generation of highly accomplished, college-bound students have been robbed of their independence because they have been raised in a petri dish for one purpose only: to attend an elite college that ensures their and their families' economic and social status. Instead of being nurtured towards real curiosity and a genuine sense of citizenship, these millennials are conditioned to think that everything they do is for the purpose of looking good in the eyes of admissions officers and employers: you earn good grades not because they mean you are learning something, but rather because they will help you stand out from your peers when applying to the Ivies. You engage in community service not because you wish genuinely to make a positive difference in the lives of others but rather because that is how you burnish your resume -- service as check-off box. You play sports not because they build character and teamwork and are a whole lot of fun, but because you want to try to get recruited for a college team. You study art or music not because you wish to refine your understanding of human nature, creativity and culture but because it will help you look smarter.

There is little intrinsic value in what you do. The result: Many college students who fall apart under pressure because they cannot conceive of the fact that hard work and learning are positive outcomes in and of themselves. They have no sense of who they are or what is important in their lives. They have spent so much time trying to look good that they do not know what "The Good" (consider Plato here) really is. They are walking ghosts of seeming, not of being.

snip:

Truth is, we know full well that lasting happiness springs from good health, solid values, meaningful work, multiple positive relationships, and selfless service. So how about we cease and desist on the pressure front - and get our eye back on the ball that matters - stop asking What (What grade did you get? What team did you make?) and begin asking Who, Where, and How?

Who tells us who we are?
Where do we want to go with our lives?
How do we want to get there?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-mulligan/the-three-most-important-questions-you-can-ask-your-teenager_b_6173822.html

[Mister Ed]

1. I tell my college-bound teenager that I have one expectation, and one only:

That she have a life that doesn't suck.

What kind of a life that doesn't suck is up to her. Just so it doesn't suck.

[Baitball Blogger]

2. Tremendously helpful article.

Thank you for posting it.

[rurallib]

3. mark to read tomorrow

I work with a kids group and I got a feeling we may all want to read this.

[DebJ]

4. I would add: what makes life worth living? n/t

[MannyGoldstein]

5. I heard a interesting podcast with the author a few months ago

http://onpoint.wbur.org/2014/08/18/the-educated-sheep-of-the-ivy-league

When I went to school, decades ago, many kids were depressed/despondent because they'd gone from being top 10% or so in their high school to... well, half of us were now below average.

(I was really lucky to have been a #%^*-up in high school, admitted to college under suspicious circumstances. So being below-average was a role that I was uniquely qualified to assume, and I played my part with gusto.)