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Wed Apr 18, 2012, 11:34 PM

Ted Nugent Jokes

"Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians - except for the occasional mountain lion steak."

"If you want to save a species, simply decide to eat it. Then it will be managed - like chickens, like turkeys, like deer, like Canadian geese."

"Big bangs don't make this, ... That's not a big bang. God made that. That's a liver. That's mystical. You and I can't make livers. Things banging don't make livers. This is mystical stuff. This is magic. This is perfection."


"Mr. Janet Reno? I think Mr. Janet Reno... I think he's one of the best hunting dogs in the world."

"My idea of fast food is a mallard."

21 replies, 4929 views

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Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 21 replies Author Time Post
Reply Ted Nugent Jokes (Original post)
ErikJ Apr 2012 OP
mmonk Apr 2012 #1
mindwalker_i Apr 2012 #4
LineLineLineReply .
mmonk Apr 2012 #6
ErikJ Apr 2012 #5
Marie Marie Apr 2012 #2
Fumesucker Apr 2012 #3
MrSlayer Apr 2012 #7
krispos42 Apr 2012 #12
MrSlayer Apr 2012 #13
lastlib Apr 2012 #8
lastlib Apr 2012 #9
Kalidurga Apr 2012 #10
krispos42 Apr 2012 #11
ErikJ Apr 2012 #14
Lint Head Apr 2012 #15
Frank Cannon Apr 2012 #16
AsahinaKimi Apr 2012 #17
CatWoman Apr 2012 #18
Erose999 Apr 2012 #19
Erose999 Apr 2012 #20
Erose999 Apr 2012 #21

Response to ErikJ (Original post)

Wed Apr 18, 2012, 11:37 PM

1. The only lions that chickenshit eats are dandelions.

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Response to mmonk (Reply #1)

Wed Apr 18, 2012, 11:40 PM

4. I can just picture this

Nugent chewing and licking his chops for hours trying to get the wispy seeds out of his mouth. Like a dig with peanut butter.

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Response to mindwalker_i (Reply #4)

Wed Apr 18, 2012, 11:42 PM

6. .

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Response to mmonk (Reply #1)

Wed Apr 18, 2012, 11:42 PM

5. And underage beaver

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Response to ErikJ (Original post)

Wed Apr 18, 2012, 11:38 PM

2. In the words of Lisa Lubner: That's so funny I forgot to laugh.

He is an embarrassment to the human race.

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Response to ErikJ (Original post)

Wed Apr 18, 2012, 11:38 PM

3. Yes, he is a joke. n/t

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Response to ErikJ (Original post)

Wed Apr 18, 2012, 11:46 PM

7. Cue the Price is Right failure music.

 

Brr brr badrrrrr....bwaaaarrrrrrr.

Asshole.

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Response to MrSlayer (Reply #7)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 12:41 AM

12. Here ya go...

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Response to krispos42 (Reply #12)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 01:43 AM

13. Nice.

 

Haha

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Response to ErikJ (Original post)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 12:11 AM

8. "Ted Nugent Jokes" is redundant.....

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Response to ErikJ (Original post)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 12:13 AM

9. "Romney campaign spokesman Ted Nugent..."

"Romney campaign spokesman Ted Nugent..."
"Romney campaign spokesman Ted Nugent..."
"Romney campaign spokesman Ted Nugent..."
"Romney campaign spokesman Ted Nugent..."
"Romney campaign spokesman Ted Nugent..."
"Romney campaign spokesman Ted Nugent..."
"Romney campaign spokesman Ted Nugent..."
"Romney campaign spokesman Ted Nugent..."
"Romney campaign spokesman Ted Nugent..."
"Romney campaign spokesman Ted Nugent..."
"Romney campaign spokesman Ted Nugent..."

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Response to lastlib (Reply #9)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 12:20 AM

10. And the winner is...

Obama. Thanks made my day errrrrrr night.

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Response to ErikJ (Original post)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 12:40 AM

11. Ted Nugent...

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Response to ErikJ (Original post)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 01:46 AM

14. What do Seamus and Ted have in common?

Diarrhea. hahaha

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Response to ErikJ (Original post)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 03:23 AM

15. Wonder what's his favorite road kill?

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Response to ErikJ (Original post)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 07:31 AM

16. Ted arrived home one day to find his girlfriend storming out...

with all her bags packed.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm leaving you. I just found out you're a pedophile," she said.

"Well, now, that's a pretty big word for a twelve-year-old."

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Response to ErikJ (Original post)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 07:57 AM

17. OKAY ...I finally found it.. Ted Nugent "killed" on Miami Vice..


Looking back, a satisfying moment in TV History...

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Response to AsahinaKimi (Reply #17)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 08:06 AM

18. that was satisfying



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Response to ErikJ (Original post)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 08:27 AM

19. This is the biggest Ted Nugent joke ever:

&ob=av2e

I've read reports that Nuge is hiding contraband related to domestic terrorism in one or more of his bodily orifices. The anonymous source did not specify which particular orifice(s) so the Secret Service should probably search them all, just to be sure.

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Response to Erose999 (Reply #19)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 08:44 AM

20. The Nuge can deflect bullets with the power of his awesome guitar solo....


I don't know if the power of rock n' roll will protect him from a cavity search though.

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Response to ErikJ (Original post)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 08:49 AM

21. Next year Nuge's contract is up with the NRA. Now that he's a Free Agent, NAMBLA has made a bid.


They may trade Limbaugh for him.

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