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Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:31 PM

Ok so I'm thinking of getting pregnant. Does that make me pregnant in Arizona?

Or does it take a right wing Doc to make it official when I discuss my personal and private reproductive health issues for the repub peepers to put online somewhere?

Or maybe its when I had my first period

God, its such a dilemma when to prepare the nursery or begin taking those humongnous vitamins.

Wait--God, I walked past the KY jelly in the supermarket last week and of course I thought of sex. Do you think that made me pregnant?

What if you say, pregnant, pregnant, pregnant like three times and sort of twirl around, throw some salt over your shoulder and stuff like that...Geezz Arizona, your law is just so narrow and last year. Spell it out!

I'll bet if I made a YouTube video of my dilemma, the Governor of Arizona would help me. Am I pregnant? Or maybe Rush Limbaugh could figure it out. He's got the sluts nailed down. Boy no mistaking who the slutty thinkers are these days!

Ok so let's say I'm like 90 or something, I have sex or I even think of sex...pregnant or just a wanna be?

I mean like somebody's gotta know right? Its not like women can decide this for themselves can they?

Hmmm, how the fuck do the rest of the mammals do it?

59 replies, 4869 views

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Reply Ok so I'm thinking of getting pregnant. Does that make me pregnant in Arizona? (Original post)
MichiganVote Apr 2012 OP
GreenPartyVoter Apr 2012 #1
Roselma Apr 2012 #2
MichiganVote Apr 2012 #8
avebury Apr 2012 #3
uppityperson Apr 2012 #4
MichiganVote Apr 2012 #9
uppityperson Apr 2012 #18
MichiganVote Apr 2012 #20
uppityperson Apr 2012 #23
MichiganVote Apr 2012 #26
Kath1 Apr 2012 #49
arthritisR_US Apr 2012 #5
MichiganVote Apr 2012 #11
arthritisR_US Apr 2012 #38
MichiganVote Apr 2012 #41
arthritisR_US Apr 2012 #47
Downwinder Apr 2012 #6
MichiganVote Apr 2012 #33
Major Nikon Apr 2012 #7
MichiganVote Apr 2012 #10
ornotna Apr 2012 #12
MichiganVote Apr 2012 #15
fascisthunter Apr 2012 #13
elleng Apr 2012 #14
MichiganVote Apr 2012 #17
RC Apr 2012 #16
MichiganVote Apr 2012 #19
Lucy Goosey Apr 2012 #21
MichiganVote Apr 2012 #24
LiberalFighter Apr 2012 #52
chieftain Apr 2012 #22
MichiganVote Apr 2012 #25
Kath1 Apr 2012 #27
MichiganVote Apr 2012 #30
Kath1 Apr 2012 #37
quaker bill Apr 2012 #28
MichiganVote Apr 2012 #31
quaker bill Apr 2012 #56
bluedigger Apr 2012 #29
jillan Apr 2012 #32
MichiganVote Apr 2012 #34
jillan Apr 2012 #35
MichiganVote Apr 2012 #36
Permanut Apr 2012 #39
MichiganVote Apr 2012 #43
pinboy3niner Apr 2012 #40
MichiganVote Apr 2012 #42
Kath1 Apr 2012 #44
MichiganVote Apr 2012 #45
Kath1 Apr 2012 #46
matt819 Apr 2012 #48
jmowreader Apr 2012 #50
Egalitarian Thug Apr 2012 #51
SydBAThule Apr 2012 #53
eShirl Apr 2012 #54
etherealtruth Apr 2012 #55
MichiganVote Apr 2012 #59
blue neen Apr 2012 #57
Sheepshank Apr 2012 #58

Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:34 PM

1. Heheh!

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Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:35 PM

2. Absolutely. Even if you weren't thinking

of getting pregnant, you are pregnant in Arizona. All you have to do is be a woman of reproductive age, and you are automatically declared pregnant from the end of your last period until your next period. That's how it works.

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Response to Roselma (Reply #2)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:40 PM

8. Oh cool then we can all apply for the Family Leave thing. Let's do it!

Every woman in Arizona should apply for it without delay. Take it ladies, tell your employers you thought of being pregnant and presto- it happened!

Man, 30 odd years of sex ed. is like really going to have to change big time.

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Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:37 PM

3. LOL! nt

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Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:38 PM

4. You are only pregnant if you are between menstrual periods. Once you are bleeding, then you must

go to the shame hut and remove yourself from polite company, men, women who you might infest, children, kittens because.

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Response to uppityperson (Reply #4)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:41 PM

9. Oh fuck that's too much work. Can't I just be a slut instead?

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Response to MichiganVote (Reply #9)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:52 PM

18. Sure, slut on!

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Response to uppityperson (Reply #18)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:55 PM

20. Well hell it worked in HS, why change now?

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Response to MichiganVote (Reply #20)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:58 PM

23. Counting how many times I could've been pregnant, according to this law, I didn't have

enough fun in HS. I was a good girl until college where I also became a slut.

500 times. Take THAT Duggars! hahahahahahaah

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Response to uppityperson (Reply #23)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 11:04 PM

26. God didn't think of that. Well another reason I'm going to Hell. Oh well.

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Response to uppityperson (Reply #23)

Sat Apr 14, 2012, 12:22 AM

49. LMAO!

Good for you! I was also a good little girl who became a "slut" in college and loved evey second of it. Didn't have enough fun in HS, either.


"Take THAT Duggars! hahahahahahaah" - Really LMAO at that! Peace!

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Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:38 PM

5. Well, when was your last period? If you

just got finished it, yep that makes you pregnant. If your husband has been away you'll be given GOP sainthood and then the fun begins

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Response to arthritisR_US (Reply #5)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:44 PM

11. Ok but I'm not exactly sure that the period really happened in Arizona. I travel.

So maybe I'm partially pregnant. Sort of half in and half out.

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Response to MichiganVote (Reply #11)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 11:26 PM

38. I would tink the minute you hit Arizona air space

the Jan Bruer tickle happens and that egg becomes royally excited or f*cked, depending how you see it. If you don't get pregnant this cycle, it could be your eggs are on strike, I did hear they've been messing with your labour laws

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Response to arthritisR_US (Reply #38)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 11:33 PM

41. You know I think that baked face Jan Brewer has a thing for me.

And I've never given her the time of day. Bet she wants to meet me in a bar and screw me in the washroom or something.

Seriously disturbed.

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Response to MichiganVote (Reply #41)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 11:58 PM

47. She's an odd duck, that one. Her god complex

has no boundaries so I would guard your critters and their womb, with a view.

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Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:40 PM

6. You probably already qualify for prenatal assistance.

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Response to Downwinder (Reply #6)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 11:14 PM

33. And food stamps! My boys will be so pleased.

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Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:40 PM

7. I've heard you can get pregnant in Arizona just by sharing bathwater with your brothers

Not sure if that is true, though.

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Response to Major Nikon (Reply #7)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:42 PM

10. I believe it. They think of sex all the time. Its "normal" for them you know.

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Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:44 PM

12. Congratulations!

Do you know if it's a boy or a girl yet?

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Response to ornotna (Reply #12)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:48 PM

15. That's a good question. In China they only want the boy things. So if

I say I want a boy they might make me give up my freedom's. I think I'll have a cat. They're easy.

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Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:45 PM

13. just keep pumping out those babies ladies!!!

the right wing needs more soldiers for the wars they are always supporting. Besides, their masters(1%) need low wage workers.

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Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:47 PM

14. You were 'pregnant' 2 weeks ago!

Got any names in mind?

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Response to elleng (Reply #14)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:51 PM

17. Really? Well shit, and I got drunk last weekend.

Maybe Clementine??? Jeez what are the popular right wing names now anyway?

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Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:49 PM

16. You're a woman, so if your think about sex,

 

you are morally depraved. Only white Republican men can do that without being depraved. All you Liberals are gonna go ta Hell!
If you say your are pregnant and they test you and you are not, you will be charged with murder for the abortion.
If you are 90 or something, have sex and don't give birth, you are assumed to be over due. You must submit to a forced birth, not to be confused with an abortion.
Being a woman, you need to know how to cook and keep the kitchen floor clean. (barefoot, ya know) Helps keep your mind off sex and depravity. Never mind being preggers most of the time.

For those missing the sarcasm gene -

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Response to RC (Reply #16)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:53 PM

19. Oh man, can't wait for such a fulfilling life!

That's me all the way. Just pain and martyrdom and the rest of all that saint type shit.

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Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:56 PM

21. I'm menstruating...

...does that mean I've just had an abortion in Arizona? Or is menstruation now murder? I can't keep track?

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Response to Lucy Goosey (Reply #21)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:58 PM

24. LOL LOL LOL!! Your post caused me to seriously laugh the fuck out loud!

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Response to Lucy Goosey (Reply #21)

Sat Apr 14, 2012, 07:18 AM

52. If they had their way. It probably does.

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Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 10:58 PM

22. I don't know but I am absolutely sure that Cardinal Dolan

believes you committed a mortal sin.

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Response to chieftain (Reply #22)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 11:01 PM

25. Mortal sins are just so cool for drama. The little venial signs are babies.

Ohhhhhhhh... a Cardinal for sex. Red underwear, cute little beanie and all that. Way cool.

Reflecting...

MUST NOT FANTICIZE ABOUT CARDINAL FOR SEX or

Preggos!

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Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 11:04 PM

27. Yes, you are officially pregnant!

"Geezz Arizona, your law is just so narrow and last year." Agreed. More like the middle ages.

Better prepare that nursery and raise that child to vote Republican!

Seriously, have you ever seen anything so ridiculous?

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Response to Kath1 (Reply #27)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 11:12 PM

30. Yup. An entire state legislature have fucked me and made me pregnant! YES! YES!

Moan! Moan!

Think of all the child support!

Octomom will definitely be moving to Arizona

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Response to MichiganVote (Reply #30)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 11:23 PM

37. Yes, they did.

Fucked you and every other woman in Arizona. Child support is rarely paid - I know .

"Octomom will definitely be moving to Arizona." - LMAO!

Arizona, it is 2012!!!!!!!

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Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 11:07 PM

28. If you have met the guy

you are definitely pregnant. If you think you might meet the guy, you are probably pregnant. If you have a uterus, chances are at least 50:50.

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Response to quaker bill (Reply #28)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 11:13 PM

31. Oh baby, I'm thinkin' of taking on the entire Ariz. legislature for fun

One of them has to have some balls.

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Response to MichiganVote (Reply #31)

Sat Apr 14, 2012, 08:51 AM

56. Then he is the daddy

just thinking about balls probably means your are pregnant (given you have a uterus).

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Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 11:08 PM

29. So you finally figured out how to do it without us, huh?

We always knew this day was coming...

Anybody need any jars opened?

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Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 11:14 PM

32. ----->

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Response to jillan (Reply #32)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 11:16 PM

34. But move to Michigan and you can have an emergency manager!

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Response to MichiganVote (Reply #34)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 11:18 PM

35. You know what sucks? That whole area by Benton Harbor is one of my favorite areas to vacation.


I'm originally from Chicago and my grandparents had a summer home in Union Pier, so whenever we go to Chicago - it's now a tradition to spend a few days up that way
I love that part of Michigan.

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Response to jillan (Reply #35)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 11:20 PM

36. I love Michigan too, sadly, its in sorry trouble and NOT b/c of jobs.

Its b/c of fuckers like the Jan Brewer bunch and I'm fucking mad as hell about it too.

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Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 11:32 PM

39. I think it's called an immaculate contraption....

or contraction, or something.

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Response to Permanut (Reply #39)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 11:37 PM

43. Correct terms are necessary for our dignity

Immaculate Bullshit works for me.

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Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 11:33 PM

40. You're overdue for your slutwalk of shame to your nearest GOP pol's mysogenicological office

Better make it a slutrun. You have no time to lose!

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #40)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 11:36 PM

42. Well I DO need some time to decide what to wear you know.

Let's see, how much of a deduction can I get for preggo clothes and some Fisher Price shit?

Thank God I'm not entitled to health insurance.

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Response to MichiganVote (Reply #42)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 11:42 PM

44. LOL!

"preggo clothes and some Fisher Price shit" - You will need those items to be a good mom in AZ world!

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Response to Kath1 (Reply #44)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 11:45 PM

45. I'm just hoping to emulate Saint Ann of the Mormons Kath. You know, the do it right thing.

Can we even have sex anymore?

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Response to MichiganVote (Reply #45)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 11:55 PM

46. I don't know a damn thing about Saint Ann...

but I don't think we can have sex anymore.

Il like the "do it right" part, though. LOL.

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Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Sat Apr 14, 2012, 12:05 AM

48. Wow

I'm sorry to say, but if you thought of sex, you have to get Santorum's approval in writing if you actually plan to have sex. After all, Jimmy Carter seemed to say it was okay to lust in your heart (or maybe he said it wasn't okay - it was a long time ago). But the actual having of sex? For that you need approval. Surely there's a form you can fill out.

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Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Sat Apr 14, 2012, 12:39 AM

50. According to Arizona Law, I am probably pregnant too

In 49 out of 50 states I would not be pregnant, but in Arizona I could be pregnant, which means I definitely am pregnant.

Just because I am not pregnant now doesn't mean I couldn't GET pregnant any time now.

And the lack of a womb is immaterial at this time: in Arizona, EVERYONE is pregnant.

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Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Sat Apr 14, 2012, 03:42 AM

51. Yes you are, and if you change your mind you're a murderer!

 


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Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Sat Apr 14, 2012, 07:44 AM

53. If you are thinking of getting preggers you best be married first

 

else you will be a slut in the eyes of the majority in AZ.

(scarism)


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Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Sat Apr 14, 2012, 07:46 AM

54. You're "Schroedinger's-Pregnant."

You have a certain statistical chance of being pregnant, but it's impossible to tell until your egg actually does or doesn't merge with a sperm.

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Response to eShirl (Reply #54)

Sat Apr 14, 2012, 08:41 AM

55. Love it!!!

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Response to eShirl (Reply #54)

Sat Apr 14, 2012, 04:27 PM

59. So is there a buzzer or something in the womb that announces the start of the mission?

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Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Sat Apr 14, 2012, 11:11 AM

57. Please take your shoes off. They also want you to be barefoot.

Unless you are menstruating, of course. You can wear your shoes during your time in the hut.

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Response to MichiganVote (Original post)

Sat Apr 14, 2012, 12:16 PM

58. If you are a mentruating female

you are already guilty of being PG. You must prove otherwise.

In AZ, if you are a female... you are definintely guilty until proven innocent.
In AZ and every other state in the USA, if you are a male...carry on un questioningly, and uninhibited-ly with your masturbating, copulating, coitus freedoms.

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