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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsStudy: Women all seem to want taller men
Now here's a real cutting edge study! Women want taller men, although the "study" did say they'll settle for less since tall men are "limited resources."
"Thus, knowing that there are limited resources in this area makes people more open to accepting a wider range of acceptable possibilities."
http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/dating/why-do-women-all-seem-to-want-taller-men/
cyberswede
(26,117 posts)R B Garr
(16,920 posts)I know. But...
SheilaT
(23,156 posts)5'2", most men are taller.
LeftyMom
(49,212 posts)I've dated men who ranged from 5'5" to 6'3", and they all could reach the top shelf without a stepladder, which makes them giants in my book.
R B Garr
(16,920 posts)Last edited Sat Sep 27, 2014, 08:32 PM - Edit history (1)
and that was my main criterion. Shallow, I know. It wasn't about the hunter/gatherer claptrap either. They just appealed to me more physically, and that was that.
edit: oops, should have been criterion.
Threedifferentones
(1,070 posts)If they just appealed to you more, many people would posit that this is because women who preferred taller men were more likely to pass on their genes, because taller men were better at hunting and fighting and thus provided more for their mates and children.
In other words, over many thousands of years the necessities of hunting and gathering resulted in women who preferred taller men reproducing more successfully than women who did not, so that now days many women find that taller men are "just more appealing physically."
Warpy
(110,913 posts)and the joke was that I married a guy my own size so I'd never feel compelled to wear heels, which I loathe.
The truth is that height was simply not on my list of considerations.
drray23
(7,587 posts)My wife is 5'8 and i am 5'7 . I did not make the cut according to eharmony. Luckily for me they did not exist when i met my wife.
kcr
(15,300 posts)who don't want to be with women who are taller than they are.
R B Garr
(16,920 posts)I'm 5'8" and he was 5'5". He was more concerned about the height difference than I was, but we never really made it to dating, and it was mostly because of that. It wasn't specifically said, but I'm sure that was the reason.
kcr
(15,300 posts)Things actually seemed to be going pretty well and we'd been on a few dates until we ran into some friends of his at the movies. They ended up sitting behind us and there was an uncomfortable vibe from him which I figured was because his friends were there. It was more than that as he explained later. They'd teased him because I was taller. That was it. We remained friends for a little while because we ran in the same circles, but no more dates. This wasn't high school either, we were adults. Oh well. His loss. I think a lot of times actual preference is displaced by social pressure which is a factor that is often ignored in these discussions. Particularly with younger people but I think it can happen with everyone.
shanti
(21,672 posts)It didn't matter to me and I assume it didn't matter to his ex wife, because she was 5'10". He actually preferred tall women.
My ex husband was 6'4". I met him when I was 18 and was looking for a tall man. Height means nothing to me anymore, but when I was young, I wanted tall, athletic kids and I got 3 sons 6'2" and over. Only one was into sports tho. Be careful what you ask for, those boys ate like horses and their clothing was expensive due to the increased height.
unblock
(51,974 posts)not eharmony, though.
Rozlee
(2,529 posts)Not hard to do when I'm five foot nothing and he's six-six. But, I can't say that I'm prejudice in favor of tall men. The first thing that made me fall in love with him were his dreamy eyes.
Warren DeMontague
(80,708 posts)My Dad was about 6'3", and I remember he used to complain about banging his head on the tops of door frames all the time.
I consider myself tall enough, but not that tall.
cyberswede
(26,117 posts)I'm 6' tall, and I routinely see young women as tall or taller than I am around town (college town).
My 14 to son is 6'2", and my daughter - who we think of as the itty bitty one in the family - is 5'2" at age 11.
My husband is only about 6'1, and I think of him as average height these days.
Maybe we just hang around volleyball players too much.
Warren DeMontague
(80,708 posts)tigers.
I clock in right under 6 feet, myself. Consider it just about average.
R B Garr
(16,920 posts)So 6'3" is getting into elite territory. If you're anywhere close to that, you would advance. According to the study...
freshwest
(53,661 posts)I was 5'6" and DH1 was a head taller and always stooped to look me in the eye, but DH2 didn't, which seemed smarter to me. I felt comfortable either way.
I absolutely loathe being short myself, it's because my dad was 6'2" and my mom was about 4'10". My kid is just over 6'.
In my experience, narrow as it is, shorter men seem to have a complex about it. I remember shorter guys, complete strangers, would walk up to DH1 while we were going down the street to start a fight. DH1 was the kind who wouldn't hurt a fly, literally.
He was always surprised, but he would not fight with them, he had no need to, we thought they were nuts. He also had no desire to show off, except around me at home, so may be his height gave him a sense of self-confidence?
For some reason, it seems to affect the way that some short men may act, but that's a self-defeating measure of themselves that can hurt them socially. I've known short guys who radiate self-confidence but others seem withdrawn with other people. Height may have nothing to do with either of those, though.
I've wondered about this, since I've heard this meme for years about taller men having better lives and being wanted by women more than shorter guys. If they think they're going to be second best and always waiting for rejection, that would not work well.
If one is looking for love, I don't really think it should matter. But I can't speak for anyone else, naturally.
Warren DeMontague
(80,708 posts)It's more like a bit over 5' 11". Damn that extra inch!
cyberswede
(26,117 posts)This pisses me off, and I don't look forward to it at all. *grump*
My mom was 5'8", and now she's about 5'3" at age 84. She was tall in her day.
Donald Ian Rankin
(13,598 posts)If memory serves, George W. Bush was at pains when debating John Kerry to demand a lectern set up that didn't make it obvious that Kerry was taller.
R B Garr
(16,920 posts)I read years ago even baldness was frowned upon in Presidential candidates. Things have (thankfully) been changing as people accept diversity.
Sometimes I've thought John McCain selected Sarah Palin as a running mate because she's the only one he could find who was shorter than he was. He's 5'7", she's 5'5".
justiceischeap
(14,040 posts)awoke_in_2003
(34,582 posts)Tuesday Afternoon
(56,912 posts)First husband was 6'2" .
Husband #2 being a trainer/jockey was barely 5'6".
oh.well.
and ... lol ... at the "scientific study"
R B Garr
(16,920 posts)definitely starts limiting your options in ways that shorter women don't encounter.
Although at 5'8", I still only consider myself tall-ish, as in high school, I was the shortest one of my closest friends. They were 5'9" and 5'11". You are very tall.
And I had to lol at the "study", too.
LostInAnomie
(14,428 posts)1. The number of people the use anecdotal outliers to discount the studies. "Nope, I'm 5'8" and my husband is 5'6" so this can't be true!"
2. The people that can't accept that in general people find certain physical features more desirable. We get it you're short, over weight, bald, flat chested, old, etc. That doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. It just means that in general people find some of those traits less than ideal. It sucks and it is unfair, but it is just a fact of life. Fairness has no say in what people are attracted to.
3. The people that pretend that physical attractiveness has nothing to do with why people pick a mate. It's not everything, but it's naive to pretend that most people should pick a mate on personality alone.
4. The people that pretend that because you find certain physical feature attractive it make you a "pig" or you attraction is somehow illegitimate. It's not. Most humans are sexual beings and a large part of sexual attraction is appearance. It shouldn't be the only thing you base your attraction on, but it doesn't make you attraction any less valid than the "deep spritual connection" others pretend to have.
I could go on, but I hate DUing on my phone.
DavidDvorkin
(19,406 posts)flying rabbit
(4,612 posts)whistler162
(11,155 posts)Those that actually believe any studies.
customerserviceguy
(25,183 posts)to the "men of all ages want twentysomethings" (or something like that) post.
Again, we're focusing on our differences instead of what makes us alike, and I wouldn't be surprised to find out that the OP was trying to sarcastically battle that with his own 'found research'.
LostInAnomie
(14,428 posts)And, it's a perfectly valid rejoinder. It illiustrates my point that certain physical attributes are found to be generally attractive to each sex. This is normal, and finding it illegitimate is ridiculous.
rufus dog
(8,419 posts)And I can honestly say there is no way in hell I want a twenty-something. Hell a thirty-something would be pushing all logic.
customerserviceguy
(25,183 posts)My last marriage was to a woman 11-12 years younger than me, it only lasted a year and a half. I've been living for seven and a half years with a woman who graduated high school the same year as me, and we get each other, culturally.
R B Garr
(16,920 posts)I think women start losing tolerance with the emphasis on physical attractiveness when it becomes an insult to their intelligence. For instance, women learn at an early age the well-worn adage about men being more visual, so it's a given that men will notice women for their physical attributes more frequently than a woman might, (generally speaking, of course). That's where objectification becomes insufferable, and women are definitely subjected to it on a daily basis much more so than men.
Just an anecdote: My SO and I were watching a TV show when there was some movement and dress made by a man that annoyed him to watch (it was a football-y type commercial where one of the men was portrayed unfavorably to him), so he grimaced and reached for the remote to change the channel. I mentioned to him at that time, See that's what women go through all the time -- multiple times every day, they are bombarded with reminders of overt sexuality in the media. He got what I was saying as he experienced that annoyance for himself right in front of me.
Just a couple days later, we pulled up behind a commercial truck for closet installations which featured an attractive blonde woman wrapped in nothing but a towel. I mentioned to him again, Do you need to see a man wrapped in nothing but a towel to sell you a closet organizer system? He agreed, no, he didn't need to see that. But it's so pervasive in the media for women to be featured in sexualized ways that can get really annoying, and for really no reasons at all -- a closet organizer? It gets ridiculous after awhile.
Silent3
(15,020 posts)...and then we have to hear about all the people whose great parents ate piles of X all of their lives and lived into their 90s still running marathons and wrestling alligators, therefore the study is a lie!
jamzrockz
(1,333 posts)Gonna violate rule #1 by bringing up an anecdotal story. I am 6"7 and I have been chatting up this girl that is 6"6 and the only thing in bold on her profile is "Yes, I am 6"6 and its not a typo". She was clearly looking to attract someone taller than she is and was just more receptive to than the normal height girls.
The good thing is that this is not a problem for the vast majority of women out there. Its not something they ever consider since most of the men they meet will be taller than them. But for the really tall girls, height is definitely on their mind and they want someone taller or as tall as they are.
treestar
(82,383 posts)Appearance does matter to women too. It's so unfair that many men attempt to tell us we really want them to be good providers and we don't care what they look like. We want them to be older and stable. This is what they keep trying to tell us. Because they aren't good looking, but they want a good looking woman.
No one says it is personality alone. In fact, it is hard to get some people to admit it has anything to do with anything other than looks. I don't see the arguments you claim exist at all.
daredtowork
(3,732 posts)This isn't quite as much folly as all men wanting women to be in their 20s.
The nice thing about women gaining financial independence in the latter half of the 20th century is that we also get to choose what we want. And that might be a man in his 20s. If you'd like women to think a little more broadly than that, you'd better start negotiating now guys.
LostInAnomie
(14,428 posts)... when they were picking women in their 20's over their older counterparts.
It can't be shallow for one and not the other.
daredtowork
(3,732 posts)Men could pick women in their 20s when women were dependent on men for survival. But if women aren't dependent on men, then men might want to consider the "focus on desirability" works both ways.
treestar
(82,383 posts)Every ideal couple is presented as man a bit taller.
But all men can't get a woman in their 20s - not statistically possible.
HereSince1628
(36,063 posts)Or so I was told by my ~ 6 ft tall mother in law.
cyberswede
(26,117 posts)Travis_0004
(5,417 posts)I did date a woman one time who was 6'1". She would wear heels then complain when she was taller than me.
sendero
(28,552 posts)... DUH.
This is news?
Cleita
(75,480 posts)As a short ass myself, I prefer someone whom I can come close to looking in the eye. I don't want to look at the belt buckle of a guy when we dance. Trust me. e Harmony? Give me a break.
tularetom
(23,664 posts)JEFF9K
(1,935 posts)E-harmony - the CONSERVATIVE dating site? For God's Sake!!
Maybe women want tall men, but numerous studies show that short men live longer. Very short men live about ten years longer than very tall men.
We hear about "little old men" and "little old ladies" all the time, but not about "big old men" and "big old ladies"! And no, it's not all shrinkage!
And, just for the record, I am 5'10''.
Marr
(20,317 posts)It also seems to me that they have less joint pain and have greater mobility in old age. Purely anecdotal-- just something I've noticed.
BlueJazz
(25,348 posts)...about 5-7. Sometimes the chemistry is just not there.
Lots of variables also. A lot of Southern women are not as savvy as Northern women . I think they go for the rough type a little more the Northern ladies.
Either that or I have no idea what I'm talking about.
PearliePoo2
(7,768 posts)I am NOT attracted to really tall men at all. Not one bit.
What I find a real turn on size wise, is a guy 5' 7 to 5' 11 who is compact, an athletic build like a gymnast, blond hair and blue eyes. Sturdy, powerful legs and tight abs and butt. Oh yeah.
PearliePoo2
(7,768 posts)very little body hair. If a guy has just a little hair on his chest and legs, that's OK with me.
Massive back, neck and butt hair...nope, no way.
Tikki
(14,539 posts)Tikki
DreamGypsy
(2,252 posts)... and I'll be the first to admit that I'm no Masters or Johnson on this topic...
...but it seems to me that there are certain anatomical considerations which place the pubic region of the male at least slightly below that of the female during intercourse. And, while I fully respect, and certainly applaud, the experience of those who enjoy climactic events with mouth engaged either in the lush bosom or the woolly chest hair of their partner, I...um, er, well...oh..have found that a oral kiss at said moment can be very fulfilling. (whew)
However, the truth is...whatever works, works. As Steve Goodman wrote (cover version here).
Way out on 42nd street
That's where the elite all retreat to greet
You can see them coming from everywhere
Every kind of man and woman you will find there
There are men who love women who love men
There are women who love women every now and then
There are men who love men because they can't pretend
They are men who love women who love men
And a new verse:
There are the short who make love to the the tall
Because it really doesn't matter at all.
And the superlative who have proved through the night
That no one's choice is really wrong or right
DebJ
(7,699 posts)He said intimacy is incredibly difficult basically unenjoyable with a woman who is close to your navel in height.
My son is almost 7' tall. My sister is 6'9".
It's rough being that tall.
Response to R B Garr (Original post)
WhiteAndNerdy This message was self-deleted by its author.
Wella
(1,827 posts)and kill bugs.
dionysus
(26,467 posts)edbermac
(15,919 posts)Seeking Serenity
(2,838 posts)which I know will either be held up as proof of the matter asserted or completely dismissed depending on one's already held beliefs (or, more likely, will be ignored since I'm not a frequent poster here):
I have a good friend who's a petite 5'2". Lovely woman, very sweet, but is still single in her 30s in large part, by her own admission, because she's not interested in any man who's not at least 6'. There was a man who was very smitten with her who would have a wonderful partner for her -- very cute, stable, good job, a gentleman, just an overall good guy -- but she didn't go past the second date because, horror of horrors, he was only 5'9". Even she, when she would be completely honest, acknowledged that she's rejected many a good man over that one seemingly ridiculous standard.
I have no explanation.
DebJ
(7,699 posts)But her list of requirements was just ridiculous.
She's now 40, has a four year old child from a man she'd never ever dreamed of staying with nor having a child with...and she didn't stay with him
And has finally confessed that she doesn't really want a male partner at all.
Which is good, because she could never really have one... her list of requirements for dating was just the beginning. Her concepts of how
to have a marriage relationship are insane.
Seeking Serenity
(2,838 posts)But I don't understand people sometimes. I don't think I'm supposed to.
tritsofme
(17,325 posts)Who would have known women like tall men and men like 20something women? I'm shocked, shocked I tell you!
What an enlightened morning.
Orrex
(63,086 posts)Wait. What?
Chisox08
(1,898 posts)Jamastiene
(38,187 posts)and completely.
I just don't have the energy any more. I will say that anything that says "all" is usually bogus. This woman does not want a taller man. This woman wants women. Right now, the one I want happens to be shorter than knee high to a grasshopper. She's great though.
11 Bravo
(23,922 posts)and just a hair over 5' 11", guess what? She still loves me!