Woman writes fanfic of Harry Potter, from a fundy Christian viewpoint.

[Archae]

Suffice to say, it's really bad writing. Even for a fundy.

Conservative Christian Rewrites Harry Potter So Her Kids Won't Turn Into Witches

One woman has taken a different approach toward indoctrinating her children into a deluded, self-serving, hateful worldview.

While our friends in the world of right-wing politics and their allies on hillbilly television like Phil Robertson spend their time spouting off Jesus fan fiction, one woman has taken a different approach toward indoctrinating her children into a deluded, self-serving, hateful worldview: Harry F@#$ing Potter.

"Grace Ann," who has thus far completed six chapters of her own version of Harry Potter, explained her motivation: her children want to read Harry Potter, but she doesn't want them "turning into witches."

"Hello, friends! My name is Grace Ann. I'm new to this whole fanfiction thing; but recently, I've encountered a problem that I believe this is the solution to. My little ones have been asking to read the Harry Potter books; and of course I'm happy for them to be reading; but I don't want them turning into witches! So I thought..... why not make some slight changes so these books are family friendly? And then I thought, why not share this with all the other mommies who are facing the same problem? So-Ta da! Here it is! I am SO excited to share this with all of you!" Grace Ann wrote in the introduction to the riveting first chapter of Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles.

http://crooksandliars.com/2014/09/conservative-christian-rewrites-harry

[gratuitous]

1. Ya gotta read her adaptation, if only for a few paragraphs

It makes a Jack Chick tract look like frickin' Dostoyevsky. Really and truly holy crap.

[Archae]

2. I noticed that also.

[Kalidurga]

7. holy crap

funniest review ever.

[winter is coming]

3. LOL! Sounds rather like the stuff that says, "Hi, this is my Harry Potter fanfic,

but Harry's a girl, and American, and doesn't have magic."

[MohRokTah]

4. Jo Rowling's attorneys will be all over this. eom

[shenmue]

6. Please let it happen

Oh pretty please, I want to read the trial transcripts so I can have the laugh of the year.

[pnwmom]

18. Except it's so bad it might fall under the parody exception to the copyright rules. n/t

[TDale313]

5. What a whack job.

Her poor children. Especially any daughters.

[ChairmanAgnostic]

8. Holy savior, Auntie and Uncle!

That is almost like "It was dark and stormy nacht!"

[shenmue]

9. I read the first few paragraphs

and it was so bad, I think I have to watch hours of puppy videos to make it go away from my brain.

[JHB]

10. I'll alert the media. Oh, wait, that's been done. Good. Now I can go back...

...to having no interaction with this whatsoever.

[NightWatcher]

11. I bet that's as exciting as the new Anne Rice novels (since she was born again)

I'm just turning into a bitter old man (39) who is starting to hate all religion and the bullshit, theft, complacency, and violence that comes with it.

[Rowdyboy]

14. Anne gave up all that shit a few years ago in disgust over the church's position on gays...

Not saying her more recent work is particularly good but at least it isn't that idiotic Christian biography crap she wrote for a few years.

[NightWatcher]

15. That's great, now she's a born again heathen

[Rowdyboy]

20. Beats the fundy crap she was writiing. I think her change of heart was mostly because

of her gay son Chris

[wandy]

12. How did the dark ages happen uncle Harry..............

Well, their was this mummy who was afraid her children would turn into witches. So she rewrote a fictional book about magic and made it about god. Other people of faith thought it a lovely Idea and could be improved upon. Starting with Darwin's Origin of Species they began to rewrite all of the science books to be more like the only great book and star none other than god.
It is said that long ago people could "read" those books. Alas, that divine blessing was lost long ago, so now I can only relate the tale as told to me by the priests of the temple.

I'd best go back to my room now.

[NV Whino]

13. I'm willing to bet

There are more "Christian" life lessons in Harry Potter than there are in the bible.

Good fucking god. I hope Rowling sues the living bejesus out of that woman.

[NuclearDem]

16. Well, could do worse with Harry Potter fan fiction...

[Aerows]

17. It has to be trolling

I've read some bad fan fiction before but this just has to be a troll.

Catholics worship idols? WTF?

If it *ISN'T* trolling, that woman needs professional help. If her she is all that holy-roly why are her kids constantly getting pneumonia, the flu and all of the maladies she mentions in the A/N?

The ones I feel the most sorry for are her kids if this isn't an elaborate troll.

[eridani]

19. Many fundies indeed believe that Catholics aren't Christians and that they worship idols

They mean the statues of saints, Jesus, Mary and Joseph, etc that are commonly seen in Catholic churches. The writing does sount like a plant--hard to believe that even a fundy could be that idiotic.

[Archae]

21. Oh, I've seen worse.

Just look up "Harry Potter Rule 34" if you're feeling a little masochistic.