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Tue Apr 10, 2012, 10:45 AM

Romney Signs Lucrative Endorsement Deal

SATIRE

Spectrum Brands, makers of the George Foreman Grill®, announced yesterday that they have reached an agreement in principle with former Massachusetts governor and current GOP Presidential front-runner Mitt Romney to endorse their latest small kitchen appliance, The Mitt Romney Waffle-Pro®.

Company spokesman Liam Toomey unveiled a prototype of the new product at a press conference in Scranton, Pennsylvania, where candidate Romney was scheduled to be campaigning for the upcoming Republican primary. “We were expecting the governor to be here,” Toomey told the reporters present, “but apparently he changed his mind at the last minute.”

The press conference featured a demonstration of the Waffle-Pro®, showing off the feature which the manufacturer claims makes this product revolutionary — a ‘reset’ button which allows its top surface to pivot, instantly converting the unit that just produced an attractive but unhealthy snack or breakfast into ‘The Mitt Romney Health-Pro® Vegetable Griller/Steamer’. “We feel that the same versatility which allows this product to instantly address and cater to what would seem on the surface to be diametrically opposed dietary cravings will make it as popular with consumers as its namesake is with moderates,” Toomey noted.

The Mitt Romney Waffle-Pro® is expected to be available in stores August 27 to coincide with the opening of the Republican National Convention in Tampa, Florida. Toomey also announced that Gov. Romney is expected to give “… what should be a memorable — if not historic — nationally televised waffle demonstration the day after the convention.”

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