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Fri Apr 6, 2012, 08:18 PM

The DUzy Awards for April 6th, 2012



WELCOME to the DUZY AWARDS!


Your Friday night cavalcade of wit, witlessness, and all around ‘whoa’ from people who think they’re the funniest on DU!

DuzyMaster Note: Hey, not a lot of nominations this week. Get cracking, DUers, or I’ll be forced to fill the empty spaces with pictures from my vacation to Big Earl’s Geriatric Body-Waxing Emporium and Day Spa Resort.

How it works: (and I really should stop deleting this from the template).

You see a funny post and you want to put it in contention. Great! Send a private-message to “The DUzy Awards” and include a link to the original post and the # of the reply you want to nominate, and then copy-and-paste the OP and the nominated post into the message. That’s in case of a self-deletion or an edit or something.

If a member’s name is in purple text, then that member has won a DUzy for the week.

If text is in red italicized text that’s a comment from me.


In an original post by EFerrari
Go check out P. 2 of the Sanford Police Robbery Prevention flyer.
Go check out P. 2 of the Sanford Police Robbery Prevention flyer.



http://www.sanfordfl.gov/police/flyers/Preventing_Robbery.pdf

H/t to Latino Rebels for the find.



I'd copy the image and post it but my connection is too slow right now.

ETA, got it.

dkf
2. Hey they forgot an Asian bad guy.
Funny how Asians always get overlooked.

harmonicon
16. He's there: you can't see him, because he's a ninja. nt.



GD, Apr 4, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002515043



In an original post by trumad
Uh Ms. Obama-- you are smoking hot!

Kids Choice awards.

The Straight Story
46. You can't compliment women, or say negative things (or hold doors now)
Every interaction must be well planned and thought out so as not to offend someone.

Du is like that Windows Mine sweeper game at times.

"Wow, she is really pretty/hot!"

"Why did you say that about her? Do you call men pretty/hot? Why do you hate women and want to oppress them??"

What should probably have been said was:

(While sipping some good 'hot' tea perhaps with your pinky in the air)

"I say, I was noticing the first family today and how elegant they all appeared in their attire. They are indeed quite the fetching family. Why it was just yesterday it seems like the Holiday Greeting card with that green tree in the background made the rounds (can't say Christmas, an oppressive cracker holiday) and I had thought to myself at the time that the first family could not possibly look more radiant and elegant. It appears I was mistaken in my earlier analysis."

(reads through DU and sees this thread)

"Oh my dear. Martha, come look at this awful internet and the brutish treatment of the first family. I must say, I am not shocked at such foul language. Had the bloody Americans not broken away I dare say they would have some proper manners. Here is a person complimenting someone using their own vernacular - the nerve of such people! I am hoping dearly that the poor first lady has not looked in upon such a horrid thread, it would probably bring her to tears being called such horrid words."

Martha: "Oh my goodness yes. I think I should call a bobby around if someone referred to the queen as 'hot'. And on the internets of all places? The whole world will see how uncouth such louts are. Can you alert on the bloke and maybe some jury with common sense will knock him a round?"


GD, Apr 1, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002502404



In an original post by WonderGrunion
President Obama just secured enough delegates to clinch the Democratic nomination
Does that mean primary season is officially over as far as DU is concerned?

2ndAmForComputers
19. Wow, what a relief! I was afraid he might lose!

UrbScotty
20. Vermin Supreme sure made it a close contest!


H&M-D, Apr 3, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124071242



In an original post by grantcart
Romney Camp gives a preview of "National Etch A Sketch Day"
As previously noted September 1st, 2012 will mark the first day of the Post Republican Primary campaign and we, along with the Republicans will find out exactly what the Republican Party has purchased in its nominee.

Kind of like a Surprise Party in reverse.

Here Romney surrogate Ehrlich is giving us a teaser:

After the convention Romney will begin to tell us his "real" opinions on women's issues.



Hey conservative cavers/freepers/and other lurkers on the right - what do you think Romney's 'real' views are and why would the 'gender gap' "dissipate rather quickly".

Man you guys have fallen for one of the greatest political con jobs in history and I am loving every second of it.
A shitload of s after this.

denem
2. September 1st 2012, the biggest Game Change in political history,
and the debut of a truly unique political animal: The somewhat moderate, severely progressive-conservative nominee.

A new look, new women friendly policies, I can hardly wait.

grantcart
3. Yes a new look. In fact in order to try and get women to come to his side he is going to change his
look completely.

He is going to start wearing women's clothes.

Well he is going to stop wearing Mom's jeans and start wearing a more obvious design.

His favorite?

Pink Slips.



Politics 2012, Apr 4, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/125127601



In an original post by Poll_Blind
Kagan Takes Up Hunting with Fellow Justice Scalia
http://www.myfoxdfw.com/dpps/news/kagan-takes-up-hunting-with-fellow-justice-scalia-dpgonc-20120404-kh_19031801

(NewsCore) - US Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan surprised a Wisconsin audience this week with news that she has recently taken to hunting with her ideological opposite, fellow justice Antonin Scalia.

"He's made a huntress out of me," Kagan revealed at a Marquette law school panel in Milwaukee on Tuesday.

The liberal justice revealed she and her ideological foe had shot quail and pheasant together and planned to hunt bigger game in the future.

"He insists I'm going to shoot myself an antelope," the New York City native said, adding that she had come to view hunting as "really good fun."


Ha! That's great, isn't it? Two people from ideologically opposite ends of the spectrum, coming together to unnecessarily kill a third, completely unrelated thing.



PB

teddy51
4. I'm hoping that she has a Cheney moment actually! lol Yeah I know this will probably
get alerted on, but it was tongue in cheek.


GD, Apr 4, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002518685



In an original post by kpete
Wow, Hillary, in a class of her own!

I love her, but would not want to mess with her,
Kpete

grantcart
8. Great picture of the Secretary of State checking in on DU while flying to Pakistan.


GD, Apr 5, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002520112



In an original post by raccoon
Can I change my DU name? nt

Morning Dew
9. I hope you're not thinking of changing it to -
Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern- schplenden- schlitter- crasscrenbon- fried- digger- dingle- dangle- dongle- dungle- burstein- von- knacker- thrasher- apple- banger- horowitz- ticolensic- grander- knotty- spelltinkle- grandlich- grumblemeyer- spelterwasser- kurstlich- himbleeisen- bahnwagen- gutenabend- bitte- ein- nürnburger- bratwustle- gerspurten- mitz- weimache- luber- hundsfut- gumberaber- shönedanker- kalbsfleisch- mittler- aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm.

'cuz I've been thinking about taking that one.


Mmmm… umlauts

H&M-D, Apr 5, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124072004



In an original post by KamaAina
The dumbest player in NFL history?
It could be LSU draft prospect Morris Claiborne.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nfl-shutdown-corner/lsu-morris-claiborne-scored-four-wonderlic-test-175829326.html

Former LSU cornerback Morris Claiborne, a likely top-five pick in this month's NFL draft, scored a four on his Wonderlic intelligence test at the NFL combine.

That's four. Zero-four. Four out of 50. Usually those two numbers bring to mind Tim Tebow's passing stats or the Oakland Raiders won-loss record, not a score on a test where a mark of 10 is considered literate.

Claiborne's four ties the lowest reported score in draft history. The NFL average is 21. The public average is 24. Vince Young, the most popular failed Wonderlic test-taker in NFL history, scored a six. Terry Bradshaw, a guy who "couldn't spell 'cat' even if you spotted him a 'ca'" got a 13....

At times like this, it's important to remember the immortal words of Joe Thiesmann. "Nobody in the game of football should be called a genius," the former Washington Redskins quarterback once said. "A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein."





Maybe his team will give him jersey No. 4.

edit: I scarcely need to add that this is in college. Yeah, yeah, blah blah blah SEC. But the fact remains, he's in college.

KamaAina
17. Believe it or not, the New London (CT) police department refuses to hire people with "too high" IQ
I've read a couple of things on this lately where it was suggested that high Wonderlic scores can hurt one's draft status, though they wouldn't have an ADA argument on that.


hughee99
18. I think I remember something about this a while ago.
I could see a discrimination lawsuit, but you'd have a hard time arguing that being "too smart" is a disability (unless you're running in the republican primary).


Sports, Apr 3, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/12049815



In an original post by cbayer
Texts from Hillary - hilarious!


more at:
http://textsfromhillaryclinton.tumblr.com/

kpete
6. another one


GD, Apr 5, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002521854



In an original post by darkstar3
"bitchy snot-rocket"??
At Thu Apr 5, 2012, 08:37 PM an alert was sent on the following post:

see, didnt read any of your stuff, but title. you know WRONG. how dare you accuse me

REASON FOR ALERT:

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate. (See <a href="http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=aboutus#communitystandards" target="_blank">Community Standards</a>.)

ALERTER'S COMMENTS:

Personal attack.

You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Thu Apr 5, 2012, 09:08 PM, and the Jury voted 3-3 to LEAVE IT.

Juror #1 voted to HIDE IT and said: No explanation given
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: Provoked.
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: This is a whole thread of ridiculous. I'm pretty sure if I vote to hide a post as a personal attack in a thread about hiding posts that are personal attacks DU goes into some kind of vortex.
Juror #4 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: No explanation given
Juror #5 voted to HIDE IT and said: It is in deed a personal attack.
Juror #6 voted to HIDE IT and said: bitchy snot-rocket

Thank you very much for participating in our Jury system, and we hope you will be able to participate again in the future.


Seriously DU...knock this shit off.

polly7
25. Oops.
I read the title too fast and thought this was a rant about a motorcycle.


H&M-D, Apr 5, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124072231



Thanks to: 2ndAmForComputers, Kaleko, 50000feet, grantcart, meow2u3, dixiegrrrrl, rocktivity, and William769!

Mom update: she’s recovering nicely. I bought her an Italian grinder and a well-iced fountain Pepsi for dinner and it made her evening.


Submitted for the ,
-Krispos42

22 replies, 3537 views

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Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 22 replies Author Time Post
Reply The DUzy Awards for April 6th, 2012 (Original post)
The DUzy Awards Apr 2012 OP
krispos42 Apr 2012 #1
annabanana Apr 2012 #2
nadinbrzezinski Apr 2012 #3
Initech Apr 2012 #4
MADem Apr 2012 #18
Initech Apr 2012 #19
MADem Apr 2012 #21
one_voice Apr 2012 #5
hootinholler Apr 2012 #6
William769 Apr 2012 #7
ellisonz Apr 2012 #8
CaliforniaPeggy Apr 2012 #9
dixiegrrrrl Apr 2012 #10
HappyMe Apr 2012 #11
KamaAina Apr 2012 #12
Little Star Apr 2012 #13
sagesnow Apr 2012 #14
sagesnow Apr 2012 #22
2ndAmForComputers Apr 2012 #15
gateley Apr 2012 #16
Lone_Star_Dem Apr 2012 #17
lovemydog Apr 2012 #20

Response to The DUzy Awards (Original post)

Fri Apr 6, 2012, 08:20 PM

1. Ha! Well before midnight!

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Response to krispos42 (Reply #1)

Fri Apr 6, 2012, 08:34 PM

2. DUzies good enough to

KICK!

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Response to The DUzy Awards (Original post)

Fri Apr 6, 2012, 08:37 PM

3. Good on mom

Take care of her.

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Response to The DUzy Awards (Original post)

Fri Apr 6, 2012, 08:38 PM

4. I liked the one about the pink slips. I might steal that.

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Response to Initech (Reply #4)

Sun Apr 8, 2012, 12:04 AM

18. Use this picture, then....

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Response to MADem (Reply #18)

Sun Apr 8, 2012, 01:50 AM

19. Ahhhhhh!!!! My eyes! Ze goggles zey do nothing!!!

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Response to Initech (Reply #19)

Sun Apr 8, 2012, 10:29 AM

21. Isn't it awful--hee hee!!

I don't know who created it, but some genius slapped that up on the internets around the time of the "I like to fire people" comment! I had to grab it!

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Response to The DUzy Awards (Original post)

Fri Apr 6, 2012, 08:47 PM

5. Good to hear mom is doing better...

good stuff.

K&R

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Response to The DUzy Awards (Original post)

Sat Apr 7, 2012, 02:26 AM

6. It is thin. We can do better. n/t

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Response to The DUzy Awards (Original post)

Sat Apr 7, 2012, 02:32 AM

7. Glad to hear your mother is doing well.

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Response to The DUzy Awards (Original post)

Sat Apr 7, 2012, 03:19 AM

8. Yay Krispos42 MOM!!!

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Response to The DUzy Awards (Original post)

Sat Apr 7, 2012, 11:34 AM

9. Another stellar group!

Thank you for the laughs!

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Response to The DUzy Awards (Original post)

Sat Apr 7, 2012, 12:17 PM

10. an Italian grinder ?

You KNOW what picture went thru my mind.....
sorta "Soprano-ish"

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Response to The DUzy Awards (Original post)

Sat Apr 7, 2012, 03:33 PM

11. k&r

Glad your mom is on the mend.

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Response to The DUzy Awards (Original post)

Sat Apr 7, 2012, 03:46 PM

12. My first DUzy (Release 3.0)!!

Mad props to my homie hughee99 for being my straight man.

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Response to The DUzy Awards (Original post)

Sat Apr 7, 2012, 04:01 PM

13. Thanks! Luv me some DUzies! k&r

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Response to The DUzy Awards (Original post)

Sat Apr 7, 2012, 06:33 PM

14. Just wondering...

if BitchySnotRocket has already been taken as a DU screen name?

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Response to sagesnow (Reply #14)

Mon Apr 9, 2012, 08:34 AM

22. Can I alert on myself? n\t

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Response to The DUzy Awards (Original post)

Sat Apr 7, 2012, 07:16 PM

15. Yay! I made the DUzies!

You like me! You really like me!

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Response to The DUzy Awards (Original post)

Sat Apr 7, 2012, 08:25 PM

16. K&R! nt

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Response to The DUzy Awards (Original post)

Sat Apr 7, 2012, 08:45 PM

17. Thank you Krispos42. Glad your mom is doing better!

Congrats to all the DUzy recipients!

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Response to The DUzy Awards (Original post)

Sun Apr 8, 2012, 04:59 AM

20. What a fun and funny group of posts!

Thanks everybody for making me smile!

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