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Tue Jul 15, 2014, 05:22 PM

How to look smarter - Andy Borowitz has the answer (and it’s pretty simple)





NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – A new study released Tuesday indicates that wearing glasses does not make a person look smarter, but standing next to Texas Governor Rick Perry does.

In the study, when participants were shown photos of a person with and without glasses, they registered little or no change in their view of the person’s intelligence.

However, when the photo of the same person was juxtaposed with a photo of Governor Perry, participants suddenly said that the person looked “much smarter” or “brilliant,” with some participants even using the phrase “like a genius.”

According to Davis Logsdon, who conducted the survey for the University of Minnesota, the results could be a game changer in the strategies people use to look smarter. “For people trying to appear more intelligent, it turns out that the must-have accessory is not glasses; it’s Rick Perry,” he said.



www.borowitzreport.com

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Arrow 18 replies Author Time Post
Reply How to look smarter - Andy Borowitz has the answer (and it’s pretty simple) (Original post)
Mira Jul 15 OP
Ilsa Jul 15 #1
immoderate Jul 15 #2
rurallib Jul 15 #7
AlbertCat Jul 15 #10
calimary Jul 15 #15
Half-Century Man Jul 15 #16
calimary Jul 15 #17
Half-Century Man Jul 16 #18
longship Jul 15 #3
sarge43 Jul 15 #4
Spitfire of ATJ Jul 15 #5
Mr.Bill Jul 15 #6
Ino Jul 15 #8
Dustlawyer Jul 15 #9
BootinUp Jul 15 #11
The Wizard Jul 15 #12
Solly Mack Jul 15 #13
Iwillnevergiveup Jul 15 #14

Response to Mira (Original post)

Tue Jul 15, 2014, 05:37 PM

1. Especially if they are wearing a t-shirt

Proclaiming "I'm with Stupid. -->"

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Tue Jul 15, 2014, 05:37 PM

2. Oh yeah? I'd like to see what he does for Louis Gohmert.

And it wouldn't be Perry's fault.

--imm


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Response to immoderate (Reply #2)

Tue Jul 15, 2014, 06:26 PM

7. or Palin - fercryingoutloud youknowwhatimean

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Response to rurallib (Reply #7)

Tue Jul 15, 2014, 07:24 PM

10. Perry - Gomert - Palin

The intense gravity of the combined stupid would rupture the fabric of space/time and the entire universe would turn inside out.

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Response to AlbertCat (Reply #10)

Tue Jul 15, 2014, 08:22 PM

15. I'm surprised louie gohmert's head is still convex.

Nature abhors a vacuum, after all. With the atmospheric pressure at sea level being greater than a vacuum (about 15 pounds per square inch), I'm surprised his head doesn't crush inward til it's about a half-inch wide.

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Response to calimary (Reply #15)

Tue Jul 15, 2014, 08:38 PM

16. One more time; It not a complete vacuum.

A vacuum is defined as: a space void of atoms.

Gohmert's head contains Idiotridium (Atomic Weight 666; densest material known). The eleven atoms drifting listlessly in that hollow gourd of his head would feel bad if you ignored their presence.

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Response to Half-Century Man (Reply #16)

Tue Jul 15, 2014, 11:50 PM

17. GOOD one!

EXCELLENT! I stand corrected. He actually DOES have a few atoms stumbling around in that gaping hole behind his eyeballs and ears and under all that skin covering the top of his head. It's not a total vacuum. Those eleven atoms DO count.

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Response to calimary (Reply #17)

Wed Jul 16, 2014, 04:53 PM

18. Yes they count...and frequently lose their place at 34.

then start over, and over, and over, and over.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Tue Jul 15, 2014, 05:44 PM

3. BOROWITZ!!!

Damn! Sometimes he just gets it. (Well, just about all the time, actually.)

R&

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Tue Jul 15, 2014, 06:03 PM

4. Honorary DUzy. nt

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Tue Jul 15, 2014, 06:10 PM

5. I guess I'm not the only one who noticed his glasses have no lens effect.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Tue Jul 15, 2014, 06:23 PM

6. Perry and Gohmert

would both look smarter if they STFU.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Tue Jul 15, 2014, 06:37 PM

8. Hahaha!

That first line made me LMAO!

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Tue Jul 15, 2014, 06:47 PM

9. Perry should ask for his Donor's money back that he paid the image consultants!

Also, if he wants to get some of the pot vote, he has to do more than say he thinks it should be decriminalized, he has to actually DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Tue Jul 15, 2014, 07:29 PM

11. OMG this is genious comedy level.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Tue Jul 15, 2014, 08:10 PM

12. Those glasses

The Palinator wears are plain glass, and have been since she had her eyes surgically corrected. She wants to give the impression that she actually reads.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Tue Jul 15, 2014, 08:16 PM

13. Hehehehehehe

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Tue Jul 15, 2014, 08:19 PM

14. We can thank Andy Borowitz

for being relentless. Love his mythical "researchers."

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