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Wed Mar 21, 2012, 07:46 PM

When there are racists and bigots in your family...

I received an e-mail this morning from my uncle, my dad's youngest brother, a year older than myself. He's ultra conservative, Catholic, thought Bush and Reagan were great, you get the picture. I've chastised him numerous times about sending me the racist crap the cons love to send each other and today was the last straw. He sent an e-mail disguised as a joke about a welfare recipient that was disgusting. I then sent back the stat that there are more white people than black recipients receiving welfare with the message as to how typically republican he was with the racism and bigotry and told him he should be ashamed of himself. He sent this thing with the subject being "No Comment." I told him he was a coward and by his no comment, condoning such crap

He then retorted with "Perhaps you should do a reach-around and pull that hair out of your ass." I have removed his name from both of my e-mail accounts. He was the last person in that part of the family I had any contact with, all of them Rush-loving, uber cons and knocking each other down to get into church. I feel sort of/only a little badly about this but enough is enough. He's used to never being contradicted and is the "star" of the family. I'm now going to my new black sheep quarters feeling less burdened. If you don't stand up to this then you're condoning it.

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Response to monmouth (Original post)

Wed Mar 21, 2012, 07:49 PM

1. I'm so sorry that you have to contend with this from your own family

But your own sanity and dignity is much more important

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Response to MrScorpio (Reply #1)

Wed Mar 21, 2012, 07:58 PM

6. I could actually feel the knot coming in my stomach, I've dumped lifetime friends also for the

Last edited Wed Mar 21, 2012, 08:57 PM - Edit history (1)

same thing. They show you no respect if you have asked them to not send this stuff but continue to do so. Thanks Mr. S.

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Response to monmouth (Original post)

Wed Mar 21, 2012, 07:49 PM

2. You did the only thing you can. I tell them once to stop sending me this stuff.

If it persists, I block them.

I tried responding a few times with a counter argument (hitting reply-all to ensure EVERYONE saw it) but that only served to incite them more. I've learned it's easier to simply tell them to stop it, once. Then block.

Sorry about this for you (and me, in my case its my MOM!). It totally sucks.

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Response to riderinthestorm (Reply #2)

Wed Mar 21, 2012, 07:59 PM

7. My Christmas card list is definitely shorter, including lifetime friends....n/t

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Response to monmouth (Original post)

Wed Mar 21, 2012, 07:51 PM

3. I'm sorry that happened to you

I know how stressful it can be with so many mixed emotions. I've gone through the same thing with my mother, sister, and brother all free republic right wing loonies. thing is after a few months they ease back into talking to me and within a few conversations repeat some Rush Limbaugh joke or forward me some racist crap or some lame attack on hollywood liberals. (I live in hollywood...)

Anyway....

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Response to monmouth (Original post)

Wed Mar 21, 2012, 07:55 PM

4. Most of my family hasn't spoken to me in years, I don't do willfully ignorant well. Every word out

of their mouths - Faux snooze. It was a bit hard at first, but really don't miss their particular form of visciouslness.

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Response to monmouth (Original post)

Wed Mar 21, 2012, 07:56 PM

5. most of my family is RW...

but, they keep it mostly non-political they don't vote and they probably have no idea who the vice-president is. But, they still pop off occasionally with stuff that makes my head spin. Like my brother when he refused to sign up for low-income housing, because he didn't want to live in the black part of town.

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Response to monmouth (Original post)

Wed Mar 21, 2012, 08:01 PM

8. Nobody has any obligation to associate with bigots. Period.

Thankfully, in my family, decent people outnumber bigots 10 to 1, so it's easy to avoid the bad apples.

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Response to monmouth (Original post)

Wed Mar 21, 2012, 08:03 PM

9. Also, remind him..

.. that white people had no problem taking help from the New Deal.
But once they were affluent again, they decided they didn't want
to share with minorities and other kinds of people, you know....

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Response to monmouth (Original post)

Wed Mar 21, 2012, 08:06 PM

10. I got lucky in the Uncle department

My dad's brother was a proud liberal democrat til the day he died. I miss him terribly. My dad was a moderate conservative and I miss him too but he was never a raging fundie racist.

My stepfather and mother however....I think she lightened up towards the end of her life as she would come out to visit me at christmas and had the sense to leave him behind. I miss her too but she was my mom. My stepfather is still alive and thankfully the last word I spoke to him was at mom's funeral. I don't need him in my life.

My Aunt and Uncle on my mom's side (Her sister and sister's husband) are both still alive and the sweetest people currently residing on the planet. Except where it concerns my stepfather - they have no sweetness for him and I encourage that behavior, right or wrong. I love visiting them.


So, monmouth, it sucks you gotta give up some family but I can say from experience that it is mighty liberating. I don't miss the fundie racists in my family at all.

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Response to monmouth (Original post)

Wed Mar 21, 2012, 08:17 PM

11. I sure do identify with you! My sister gave

me a "biography"/hatchet job book on President Obama, for Christmas, right after he won. At the family dinner she asked me how I was enjoying it? I said "Great! Could'nt get the fire going in the livingroom without it. Best kindling I've ever had, thanks!".

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Response to monmouth (Original post)

Wed Mar 21, 2012, 08:30 PM

12. Welcome to the black sheep!

I am in my Catholic-Italian family. I'm divorced, Democratic, pro-choice, anti-war and, worst of all, did not raise my daughter "in the faith." If you are anything like me, you'll start feeling good about what you did soon. Your comments say it all - "... but enough is enough." I've learned that I would much rather live as a public liberal/ progressive than a fake conservative. Best of luck.

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Response to Kath1 (Reply #12)

Wed Mar 21, 2012, 08:36 PM

13. Thanks Kath1, I actually knew this day was coming..n/t

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Response to monmouth (Reply #13)

Thu Mar 22, 2012, 06:27 AM

14. You're Welcome!

What I do - when I see certain e-mails in my inbox I delete without reading. Much better for my blood pressure. As a side note, went to a family St. Patricks day party last week and there was my father and uncle in the kitchen glued to Fox News. Some people we will never reach and we just have to accept that.

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Response to monmouth (Original post)

Thu Mar 22, 2012, 06:31 AM

15. Consider Reply All as a strategy also

My brother stopped sending me that crap when my responses wen't out to his whole list.

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