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Wed Feb 19, 2014, 09:18 AM

Even Abby 'Gets' It

Couple New To Florida Aren't Happy With Gay Neighbors
By Abigail Van Buren 9 hours ago Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I relocated to Florida a little over a year ago and were quickly welcomed into our new neighbors' social whirl. Two couples in the neighborhood are gay -- one male, one female. While they are nice enough, my husband and I did not include them when it was our turn to host because we do not approve of their lifestyle choices. Since then, we have been excluded from neighborhood gatherings, and someone even suggested that we are bigots!

Abby, we moved here from a conservative community where people were pretty much the same. If people were "different," they apparently kept it to themselves. While I understand the phrase "when in Rome," I don't feel we should have to compromise our values just to win the approval of our neighbors. But really, who is the true bigot here? Would you like to weigh in? -- UNHAPPY IN TAMPA

DEAR UNHAPPY: I sure would. The first thing I'd like to say is that regardless of what you were told in your previous community, a person's sexual orientation isn't a "lifestyle choice." Gay people don't choose to be gay; they are born that way. They can't change being gay any more than you can change being heterosexual.

I find it interesting that you are unwilling to reciprocate the hospitality of people who welcomed you and opened their homes to you, and yet you complain because you are receiving similar treatment.

From where I sit, you may have chosen the wrong place to live because it appears you would be happier in a less integrated neighborhood surrounded by people who think the way you do. But if you interact only with people like yourselves, you will have missed a chance for growth, which is what you have been offered here. Please don't blow it.


http://news.yahoo.com/couple-florida-aren-39-t-happy-gay-neighbors-050113020.html

16 replies, 2235 views

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Response to marble falls (Original post)

Wed Feb 19, 2014, 09:23 AM

1. I don't feel we should have to compromise our values just to win the approval of our neighbors.

They don't. They can believe whatever they want and invite whoever they want, but the neighbors can too. It is weird that they are upset by the neighbors not inviting them to activities especially if the "gays" are invited (shutter...lol). Aren't the neighbors being considerate to you by not having you hang out with the gays. I am gay and find the letter pretty cool actually.

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Response to yeoman6987 (Reply #1)

Wed Feb 19, 2014, 09:48 AM

6. You nailed it!

They complain about compromising their values, but expect the neighborhood to compromise theirs. They think it wrong not to be invited to gathering, but won't invite gay couple to their. The issue they are hiding isn't isn't pressure to compromise their values, it's that they want their values imposed on everyone else-- and they are unhappy that's not being done.

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Response to marble falls (Original post)

Wed Feb 19, 2014, 09:33 AM

2. Great response.

The new-to-the-neighborhood couple need to engage with the entire social circle of not. Apparently this is a pretty healthy group sans cliques and the like. Unhappy in Tampa is only unhappy because those she/he deems to be acceptable won't play along by socializing with part of the group, leaving the "different" people on the outside looking in.

This letter writer & spouse are a perfect example of part of the problem. Focusing on differences and doing what they can to achieve segregation of sorts.

I bet they watch Faux News.

Julie

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Response to marble falls (Original post)

Wed Feb 19, 2014, 09:35 AM

3. I'm guessing this neighborhood isn't "The Villages"!



Well-known uber right-wing enclave of retirees in Florida, for those that weren't aware.

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Response to marble falls (Original post)

Wed Feb 19, 2014, 09:36 AM

4. bzzzt. Your headline is bull. "Abby" got it long ago. way before

most people in this country.

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Response to cali (Reply #4)

Wed Feb 19, 2014, 09:46 AM

5. Exactly. She and her sister "Ann Landers" ahead of their time and ahead of many of their readers.

Original Abby is no longer alive, as I'm sure you know.

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Response to cali (Reply #4)

Wed Feb 19, 2014, 09:49 AM

8. That was this person's mother. I am not 100 percent a fan of the current Abby

This was a very good response from her. Some times though she is not as good as her mother was in having empathy for people who are different.

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Response to cali (Reply #4)

Wed Feb 19, 2014, 09:55 AM

11. Hey Cali! Abby is a mainstreamer, and my point is the mainstream needs to catch up.

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Response to marble falls (Original post)

Wed Feb 19, 2014, 09:48 AM

7. they called us bigots "bigots"! how dare they!

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Response to unblock (Reply #7)

Wed Feb 19, 2014, 09:51 AM

9. Well as Dear Abby would say 'If the Shoe fits.....'

Just saying!

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Response to marble falls (Original post)

Wed Feb 19, 2014, 10:54 AM

12. Why not just be friendly?

Life is much better that way.

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Response to shenmue (Reply #12)

Wed Feb 19, 2014, 03:13 PM

13. I think it is odd, the obsession homophobes have with sex

when it comes down to it, they define and judge gay folk solely by their (perceived) sex lives......WTF

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Response to marble falls (Original post)

Wed Feb 19, 2014, 04:55 PM

14. Yup, they chose the wrong place to live. Planet Earth. n/t

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Response to marble falls (Original post)

Wed Feb 19, 2014, 05:15 PM

15. Abby has been consistently smart, as far as I've seen.

Got to love her.

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Response to marble falls (Original post)

Wed Feb 19, 2014, 05:27 PM

16. I loved the white, popular sports announcer commenting on Michael Sam...he said "I don't

know (or understand) his world, but I do know that he's in mine." It was great. Maybe someone has the clip somewhere.

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