i had a safety net. when i was 15,

[seabeyond]

my father told me, no hesitation, that if i got preg, my parents would be there to support me totally. absolutely. financially, emotionally, unconditionally. for years it allowed me to arrogantly, condescendingly declare.... personally i am against abortion, but..... i allow for choice, in my vote.

though, personally, i pretty much know i am the better person

then i grew up

i came to the realization not ALL girls and women had the support, safety net, unconditional love that i had. stupid me. and that there were far more stories out there than what i ever allowed myself to see or experience thru another girls/womans eyes.

this is why it is so offensive when men make statements about a womans choice. how much time have they spent thinking about the girl/womans experience.

at the point of getting preg, a woman is going to experience regret. it is already there. because now she has tough choices, regardless what that choice is. the regret does not come with the choice, none are easy. the regret is the sex that got her preg in the first place. protected/unprotected. and we are not gonna suggest that a woman only have sex when she is ready to have a baby.

any of the choices are life changing choice.

what many women on du are saying, is we must take away that lifetime changing guilt that effects a woman for her lifetime. because biologically we are the ones that carry that burden. that is what we address.

back to me. i learned that i was damn lucky to have the support i did. i learned i was arrogant in my condemnation of others making choice, even though i graciously allowed womens choice thru my vote. i learned, to keep my fucking mouth shut unless i could totally support a woman in her choice with no judgment what so ever.

that is what women on du are fighting today.

and amazingly, the number of people, a lot of men, that stand in the same position i did so many many years ago. as their lives will NEVER be effected with these choices.

[DLevine]

1. Hear, hear!

Pro choice means letting a woman decide for herself. It's nobody else's business. And calling yourself pro choice while shaming women who have abortions is, in my view, despicable behavior.

[seabeyond]

7. calling yourself pro choice while shaming women who have abortions is ... despicable behavior

people really need to think this through. just a little mind power to this one.

[B Calm]

2. Great post!

[seabeyond]

8. thank you. nt

[Laelth]

3. Well said. Empathy is beneficial to us all. k&r n/t

-Laelth

[bemildred]

4. Word.

Being pro-life without being pro-mother is empty narcissistic babble.

[kag]

5. When I was about 13...

My Catholic mom told me that if I were to get pregnant (meaning in the next few years) she would take me to get an abortion. At the time I considered myself anti-abortion, so this was a real eye-opener for me. I lost my mom to cancer when I was 16, but her words stayed with me, and I grew to understand the heart wrenching decisions that must be made when one becomes pregnant unexpectedly.

I am now a vocal pro-choice advocate (and recovering catholic), and I despise all of the sanctimonious white men in our Congress who think they know better than women what they should or shouldn't do with their own bodies.

[seabeyond]

6. the lessons our parent can give us. good for your mom

that is the catholic i knew, back in the day, in calif