The Onion just posted a disturbingly accurate article about 82% of DUers

[Flying Squirrel]

Including myself...

CALDWELL, ID—Calling it a vital part of his daily routine, local man and utterly depraved masochist Richard Petrillo revealed to reporters Friday that he enjoys keeping up with the news.

(snip)

“There’s a lot going on these days, and I like to stay on top of things,” Petrillo said of his disturbing desire to follow news stories, including those about the Middle East, the state of the U.S. economy, and the recent activities of the National Security Agency. “With such a wealth of knowledge at our fingertips, it just makes sense to keep abreast of the latest developments.”

(snip)

According to those close to Petrillo, the 36-year-old web designer devotes several hours each week to this vile form of self-abuse. He reportedly indulges his twisted obsession by seeking out news articles and videos on everything from politics and international affairs to health care and the environment—often multiple times a day.

(snip)

Sources confirmed that Petrillo makes no effort whatsoever to conceal his insatiable desire for self-inflicted torment, going so far as to take pride in his familiarity with issues such as America’s distribution of wealth, the latest jobs report, what’s happening in Congress recently, and the nation’s current incarceration rate. In fact, he is reportedly not content with simple masochism, and often spreads the anguish of his knowledge to his fellow citizens.

(snip)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/depraved-masochist-enjoys-following-the-news,33849/

[raccoon]

1. Sometimes the Onion is full of wisdom... nt

[House of Roberts]

2. That's not about me.

I'm not a web designer.

[maindawg]

3. Its nothing new

People used to read the newspaper from cover to cover. Were they 'utterly depraved masochist'? I was one.

[Cirque du So-What]

4. So now keeping informed is masochism?

It implies that seeking the truth is an exercise in futility. Did a RW mole manage to get hired at The Onion? After all, that's the RW dream: an ignorant, disinterested & complacent society. I suppose there is some value in this attempt at satire if people recognize themselves in it and are moved to act instead of merely grousing to others.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

6. No, not futile. Just painful for people with empathy. Following news is painless for right wingers.

[Cirque du So-What]

7. Hence my criticism of this satirical piece

Only those possessing the capacity for empathy are satirized, implying that those who discuss the news with others are Jiminy-Cricket pest bastids, intruding upon the 'beautiful minds' of the blissfully ignorant.

[Festivito]

10. I hope the onion reads your post and plays it up. eom

[Cirque du So-What]

12. I would be more impressed

if the writers deigned to satirize those head-in-the-sand types who shrug off the most horrendous of news stories with nary a disruption to their imaginary fool's paradise.

[Jim Lane]

17. Then you should be impressed.

I think this piece is doing precisely what you asked for -- satirizing the head-in-the-sand types.

There was a time when keeping up with the news was considered more or less normal -- and "news" didn't mean who was doing what onstage at the VMA telecast, or which star athlete had gotten in a fight in a bar. The Onion piece is satirizing the drift away from that norm by acting as if the old norm is now completely weird.

[DeeDeeNY]

5. Funny!

But based on some of the posts, it probably should have mentioned additional symptoms -- causing lack of a sense of humor and inability to recognize satire.

[7962]

8. Man, you hit THAT nail on the head, didn't you?

Unfortunately that symptom runs rampant on DU. I just shake my head reading some of the OPs and posts. A lot of bitter folks here, I'm afraid.

[RC]

9. Both of those symptoms are traits of the Conservative mind set.

Ain't nothing funny about Liberals and "What do ya mean there's something between yes and no, Black and white, up and down, night and day, wet and dry, rich and poor, intelligent and Republican...?

[djean111]

13. People misunderstanding that framing a good thing - keeping up with the news - as

as bad thing, and at The Onion, of all places, is a criticism, is just as sadly funny and mock-able as right-wingers who think Colbert is serious.

[Buns_of_Fire]

11. Whip me, beat me, make me write bad checks... nt

[Safetykitten]

14. Not really Du. It missed the "exceptionalism" of being blind to anything not seen from their Prius.

[IDemo]

15. Instantly identifiable as fiction

No one from Caldwell would be that interested in world affairs, unless they relied solely on InfoWars and Glenn Beck for their news.

[gopiscrap]

16. yeah and what would the Onion, a nation full of oblivious sheep?

[Doctor_J]

18. amen

Via thirty years of hard work, good luck, and help from friends and family, we are in position where we no longer struggle and are pretty much comfortable. It would be easier to just ignore the daily outrages and live with our heads in the sand. Can't seem to do it though.

[Vanje]

19. Hey! I work in Caldwell, Idaho!

It rarely makes national news.....even fake news.