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Sun Feb 26, 2012, 04:22 PM

Activists posthumously gay marry dead Mormons

For the past several days a coalition of inter-denominational straight and gay activists has secretly performed gay marriages and religious conversions between deceased Mormons in states where gay marriages are legal.

The movement is in reaction to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints practice of baptizing the dead of different religions without the consent of their surviving family members. Many Holocaust victims, former football star Pat Tillman and President Barack Obama’s late mother are among those who’ve been baptized posthumously by the church.

“The Mormon Church said it would stop this practice years ago and yet it keeps on happening. They simply don’t care how offensive this. They’re saying someone else’s religion doesn’t matter,” said a coalition leader who asked to be identified only as Rabbi Feinberg. “They’re taking away my people’s Jewishness so we’re doing the same to them. Last night we gave bar mitzvahs to Joseph Smith, Brigham Young and John Taylor. Then we gay married the three of them together, since they all believed in polygamy. Now, in the eyes of the Lord they’re three dead gay Jews.”

http://www.thechicagodope.com/2012/02/26/activists-posthumously-gay-marry-dead-mormons/

33 replies, 3469 views

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Arrow 33 replies Author Time Post
Reply Activists posthumously gay marry dead Mormons (Original post)
Mikeystyle Feb 2012 OP
AC_Mem Feb 2012 #1
OneGrassRoot Feb 2012 #2
MineralMan Feb 2012 #3
rustydog Feb 2012 #4
tularetom Feb 2012 #5
fascisthunter Feb 2012 #6
RevStPatrick Feb 2012 #7
kayakjohnny Feb 2012 #8
xchrom Feb 2012 #9
rurallib Feb 2012 #10
enough Feb 2012 #11
stevenleser Feb 2012 #12
jberryhill Feb 2012 #23
snooper2 Feb 2012 #26
Neoma Feb 2012 #32
wandy Feb 2012 #13
Initech Feb 2012 #18
morningfog Feb 2012 #14
dana_b Feb 2012 #15
Initech Feb 2012 #16
Dead_Parrot Feb 2012 #17
ibegurpard Feb 2012 #19
Utopian Leftist Feb 2012 #20
snot Feb 2012 #21
Mikeystyle Feb 2012 #33
glinda Feb 2012 #22
markbark Feb 2012 #24
iandhr Feb 2012 #25
Kolesar Feb 2012 #29
BigDemVoter Feb 2012 #27
Vincardog Feb 2012 #28
Lucky Luciano Feb 2012 #30
The Doctor. Feb 2012 #31

Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Sun Feb 26, 2012, 04:30 PM

1. BwAhahahaaaa

Omg this is hysterical!

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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Sun Feb 26, 2012, 04:33 PM

2. LOLOL!



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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Sun Feb 26, 2012, 04:37 PM

3. Comedy Gold!



Heck, I've been unbaptizing Mormons who are baptising the dead for years. No planet for them, I tell you. If the deity actually exists, they'll all have some 'splainin' to do, I think.

"What's this nonsense, dude? This is messed up. Who told you to do this stuff? Now, the database is all screwed up, and we've had to divert a bunch of COBOL programmer angels to try to get it straightened up again. I'm afraid you'll have to take the down escalator. Pity..."

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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Sun Feb 26, 2012, 04:37 PM

4. Oh pleezzee, Gay marry Joseph Smith !!

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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Sun Feb 26, 2012, 04:47 PM

5. "...three dead gay Jews"



Karma bites the moron church right in the ass.

I hope they keep this up long enough to stop this dumbass practice.

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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Sun Feb 26, 2012, 04:49 PM

6. lol

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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Sun Feb 26, 2012, 04:59 PM

7. I presided over the gay marriages of quite a few dead Mormons this week...

 

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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Sun Feb 26, 2012, 05:05 PM

8. Possibly the best thread title in months.

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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Sun Feb 26, 2012, 05:06 PM

9. This just gets better & better! Nt

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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Sun Feb 26, 2012, 05:08 PM

10. kicker-oodle-doo

laughing my currently atheist ass off.

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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Sun Feb 26, 2012, 05:09 PM

11. Genius. (nt)

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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Sun Feb 26, 2012, 05:17 PM

12. The lesson here is:

The lesson here is, if you want people to have respect for your religious beliefs (or non-beliefs as the case may be), you need to have respect for theirs. I have no doubt that the bar mitzvahs and gay marriages of John Smith, Brigham Young and various other Mormon patriarchs is going to infuriate Mormons, but they brought it on themselves by the posthumous proxy baptisms of holocaust victims.

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Response to stevenleser (Reply #12)

Mon Feb 27, 2012, 01:33 AM

23. Why would it infuriate them?

From their perspective, such rituals are meaningless.

Any Evangelical Christian will tell you that unless Anne Frank accepted Jesus as her savior, then she is eternally damned. That is their belief. Do you respect that?

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Response to stevenleser (Reply #12)

Mon Feb 27, 2012, 10:34 AM

26. I don't need respect for my (non-beliefs)

I am so tired of hearing that line-

Respect other peoples religous beliefs?


What does that really mean anyway? Don't chuckle because they are 56 years old and still believe the mythical tales they were taught as a child? Respect their design choices?




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Response to snooper2 (Reply #26)

Mon Feb 27, 2012, 04:27 PM

32. That is an interior design nightmare.

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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Sun Feb 26, 2012, 05:20 PM

13. Will you folk please stop jerking my chain about baptising dead people. Now you're ...

going ahead and marrying them. Next thing you'll be telling me they want drivers licences and passports or something.
See what I care, dig up Reagen; elect him president; won't be any better than he was the first time around.

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Response to wandy (Reply #13)

Sun Feb 26, 2012, 05:40 PM

18. That's actually the same idea Lewis Black has.

And his justification was that if we had a zombie president it'd be the only thing that would scare the crap out of the terrorists.

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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Sun Feb 26, 2012, 05:22 PM

14. I love it.

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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Sun Feb 26, 2012, 05:33 PM

15. oh, I wish!!

it would be an amazing payback.

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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Sun Feb 26, 2012, 05:34 PM

16. Hell yes, I love this idea!

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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Sun Feb 26, 2012, 05:36 PM

17. Pure win

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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Sun Feb 26, 2012, 05:49 PM

19. that's funny

great way to respond to this!

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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Sun Feb 26, 2012, 10:36 PM

20. So now, in addition to DNR (Do Not Resusitate) orders

we have to leave Do Not Baptize orders as well?

I'd sure hate to suffer Mormon eternity. I don't even own a sweater vest.

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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Mon Feb 27, 2012, 12:41 AM

21. LoL! Please tell me it's not a spoof?

but it is . . . right?

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Response to snot (Reply #21)

Mon Feb 27, 2012, 06:36 PM

33. call it truth in fiction

It's what other religious leaders OUGHT to be doing.

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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Mon Feb 27, 2012, 01:03 AM

22. Perfect!

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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Mon Feb 27, 2012, 08:50 AM

24. Another salvo....

in the age-old war over who has the better imaginary friend. At least this time there were no fatalities, just hilarity.

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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Mon Feb 27, 2012, 10:18 AM

25. This sounds like something from the Onion

but its great.

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Response to iandhr (Reply #25)

Mon Feb 27, 2012, 01:17 PM

29. Indeed...eom

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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Mon Feb 27, 2012, 10:49 AM

27. I love it!

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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Mon Feb 27, 2012, 12:21 PM

28. I think we need to start posting the marriage announcements. "Joseph Smith, Brigham Young

and John Taylor wish to announce their nuptials today.

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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Mon Feb 27, 2012, 02:21 PM

30. I literally laughed out loud!!! nt

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Response to Mikeystyle (Original post)

Mon Feb 27, 2012, 03:42 PM

31. So glad we don't have to see the garter ceremony.

 

K+R

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