Single women: How do you react when a caller insists on speaking to the man in the house?

[Mira]

Over the years these calls are from folks who want to give investment advice.
I've taken to saying:"hold on - I'll get him"
then
"he won't come unless you tell me what this is about"

Once I hear it's about investments I cackle a little and say: "good thing you told me what you wanted. Actually he likes to clean and cook, and I handle the money. It's all under control, and I gotta go."

So - like it or not, my friends - that works fine for me, and makes me happy, I forgive the interruption and move on.


Today, I had a new variation on the theme of asking for the man in the house.
I said my: "he won't come til he knows why" and the person said: "I am calling from the NRA".

I was floored.
Unprepared to the max all I could get out was:
"The National Rifle Association?"
"Yes."

Then I completely cracked up and said:"Neither one of us would even consider talking to you about guns. Lose our number".

All I can say is if they call households like mine they are desperate.
I like it!

[NMDemDist2]

1. just keep a little vibrator next to the phone

when they ask for 'the man of the house' just turn on the lil buzzer

[liberalhistorian]

6. Yep, BOB

never fails, lol!

I'm married now, but I never really encountered that kind of call when I was single. And that was fortunate for any potential such callers, 'cause I would have had their ass for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

[Warpy]

16. Although I used to put my tomcat up to the phone and let him purr

into it for five minutes or so, I generally realize these poor saps are desperate enough for work to take jobs at minimum wage with no bennies to sell something they don't believe in, so I'm kind.

Rarely, some asshole who wants to talk to the MAN won't take no for an answer and will call back immediately.

"Oh, he's in the other room, I'll go get him."

"George...George?...GEORGE!.... OH MY GOD! HE'S DEAD!"

There is never anyone on the line when I get back and they don't call back. Ever.

B.O.B.'s good, too.

[silverweb]

21. LMAO

[font color="navy" face="Verdana"]First, I've never been in that situation. My outgoing message says that calls from unrecognized numbers are not answered and they're not, so I'm not on anyone's list anymore.

However, I almost wish I was on the list because I would absolutely love to use your method of dealing with the NRA type of caller. Absolutely priceless!

[malaise]

64. Reminds me of this fabulous telemarketer prank

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/740134/telemarketer_prank_call_murder_scene_hilarius/

[lonestarnot]

47. Now that is fucking funny!

[smirkymonkey]

2. I am the man of the house, go ahead please...

[dawg]

3. I'm a man, but wow!

I'm a little surprised that still happens.

[hlthe2b]

4. I give 'em quite the earful....

No tolerance for solicitation calls, but even less for those that are blatantly sexist.

[Brickbat]

5. Wow. I've never had any caller ask for the man of the house. Interesting!

[TDale313]

10. Honestly, me either.

[LadyHawkAZ]

40. Neither have I

but after reading some of the ideas here, I would really like to.

[HappyMe]

60. No, nobody has ever asked

for the man of the house. If I answer, they just forge ahead with their sales pitch or a dreaded survey.

[Squinch]

7. I say, "No, you may not speak to the man of the house. Now what do you want?"

[jberryhill]

8. It may be more sinister than a solicitation

It may be someone attempting to determine if you live alone.

[Ilsa]

20. Exactly. I wouldn't give out that kind

of information, or if I'm home alone during the day or evening, etc. Let them think that "the Mr." is a big, cranky, fire-breathing a-hole.

[jberryhill]

22. "a big, cranky, fire-breathing a-hole"

Or, just invite me over to pick up the phone directly.

[politicat]

9. I've never had that happen, but...

I'd probably say, " Just a minute, I'll get him," then lay the phone down and go about my business until I remembered to hang it up.

I will happily waste their time.

[treestar]

11. Never had that

I must say whatever entity or company allows that is stupid - or has an untrained dumbass for an employee. What good does it do them to do that? It brings them only ill will.

I thought the NRA a while back, and gun makers, wanted to get women as customers, using the self defense selling point, so the NRA person is super dumb to imply men only use guns.

It's amazing it is 2013 sometimes. So many people out there thinking it is still 1953.

[Warpy]

17. "Untrained dumbass" is reading a script

They want to talk to males for very good reasons, usually because any woman would see right through the macho crap and hang up on them.

[joeglow3]

44. Wow. That is almost as insulting as the caller themself.

[Warpy]

48. What, that their scripts are tailor made to appeal to men?

surely you knew that.

[joeglow3]

66. No, that all men are stupid enough to fall for it, but women would see right through it.

[one_voice]

12. They still do that?

[undeterred]

18. That must be in those towns where I was canvassing

and when I knocked on the door and a woman answered and I started talking to a woman about the upcoming election she told me that her husband makes all of the decisions about who they vote for...so she hurried off to get him.

[one_voice]

27. Oh dear...

I couldn't imagine. I understand discussing with your significant other/spouse/partner when making a large purchase. But I will make my own decision on who I vote for thankyouverymuch.

[undeterred]

30. I wanted the experience of campaigning in a red district.

And that's what it was like. Conservative families where the women were apolitical and the men decided how to vote - probably Republican- and they both voted. If I hadn't seen it for myself I wouldn't have believed it still existed. But oh boy, it sure does.

[Lifelong Protester]

13. I'd bang the receiver on the counter a few times

while saying "Oh MY DOG, I'VE ENTERED A TIME WARP- JEEZ, I'VE HEARD ABOUT THESE (thunk, thunk, thunk) I DIDN'T THINK THEY WERE REAL (thunk, thunk, thunk)...


You get the idea... I'd have some fun with it.

[Mira]

35. I read the responses and chuckle

but yours made me howl.

[niyad]

14. I say, "hang on while I get him out of the litter box"

[undeterred]

19. ..

[silverweb]

23. Perfect!

[SouthernLiberal]

15. I've never had that happen

Although I do still occasionally get a phone call from someone who asks for my late husband by name. That kind of gives it away that it isn't anyone who knows him, since he passed away in 2000.

He still gets a lot of mail, including pre-approved offers of credit (and yes, his credit report has the 'dead person' lock!) One of his most frequent correspondents is the alumni committee of a high school he never attended.

[frogmarch]

24. It's never happened to me, and

furthermore, when Mr. froggy and I go together to the hardware store, the clerks ask me if they can be of assistance. And it's not because I'm a looker. I'm not. It's because they know I'm one helluva builder and fixer and that I flat know my hardware.

Oops, sorry. You said single women.

[SheilaT]

25. I'm trying to figure out why anyone would

be receiving calls from 1968.

That's probably about the last time I got a phone call asking for "The man of the house".

Sometimes I get some kind of polling firm calling, and I'm the wrong demographic, but that's different.

[Lisa0825]

26. I am 44 and I have actually NEVER had anyone ask me that. Does that treally still happen??? nt

[mainstreetonce]

28. I get calls

that ask to speak to my mother. I say. "I am my mother"

[Sadiedog]

46. Oh me too! Cracks this 56 year old grandma up! nt

[Buzz Clik]

29. I get about two calls per month insisting on talking to my wife.

They, too, want to talk about investments, real estate, politics.

Sexist bastards.

[Zorra]

31. Nobody's ever done that to me...lucky for them. nt

[Skittles]

32. I tell them I AM a man and act really offended

it really throws them

[SummerSnow]

33. You can say.....

"The man of the house "? I have 2 husbands, which one do you want to talk to?

[SummerSnow]

34. You can say...

"Call me next week,after the sex change"

[bhikkhu]

36. They still do that?! I'd laugh out loud

...but we cut our landline about 5 years ago, so we don't get calls like that anyway.

[RedCappedBandit]

37. No way I would waste my time

speaking to anybody with the audacity to ask such a question.

[SummerSnow]

38. You can say...

"Hold on,I have to hold the phone for him cause I can't find the keys to the handcuffs "

[SmileyRose]

41. SNORT

oh I am stealing that.

[SmileyRose]

39. I called a car salesman a fucking dumbass once for that

My car got totalled by a drunk. Went to the local Ford Store to pick out another one. Idiot sales weasle was all kick tires tellya what ima gonna do if you husband approves..

Had bought 4 other cars from that place. Knew the owners wife very well from choir yada yada. Gave that idiot the full bitch right in front everyone and walked out. Owner called me an hour later half laughing half mortified. He got a lesson too about selling cars to people.

That was 20 years ago. To this day everyone whos worked there since treats everyone who walks in the door with the same respect they would show the owner or his family.

Sometimes all it takes is a good public shaming.

[Jamastiene]

52. I have had to do that before too.

Back when I was a teenager, one of my regular guitar teachers was out sick that one Saturday. They had one of those hair-sprayed, spandex wearing 80s guys in there teaching guitar lessons for the day. He told me the best I should try to learn was rhythm guitar and open chords only because girls didn't belong on electric guitars or in bands to begin with.

Everyone in the store heard me cussing as I made my way from the back room to the front to the owner, a good guy I knew would not be happy to hear what was said to me. My aunt begged me to not make a scene and just talk to the owner quietly. I would not. 80s guy needed an attitude adjustment. When he refused to apologize to me, the owner of the store fired him on the spot and taught me Beatles leads and John Lennon leads for the rest of the day. It was one of the best guitar lessons I ever got too. I really enjoyed that guitar lesson because I had been wanting to learn more Beatles songs.

[Grey]

42. give me your number and I'll have him get back to you.......

Like thats ever going to happen.

[intaglio]

43. Just a (rude) suggestion

"He's tied up at the moment and it will take a while to remove the ball gag and anal beads ... may I help you?"

[HooptieWagon]

45. Give them a high pressure sales pitch for aluminum siding

or grave plots. Ask for their name, address, credit card number, etc. keep at it until they hang up. Not only works like a charm on telephone solicitors, but lots of fun!

[Zoeisright]

49. Hang up.

[MrScorpio]

50. Has any of them ever said to you, "Am I speaking to the head of the household?"

Because that would take care of this shit

[Jamastiene]

51. I tell them they will regret that.

The "man of the house" at my hovel is my cat, Yogi. He is part Siamese. He will talk to you all day and all night long. As long as you are talking to him, he will meow back at you. He will meow at you long after you have run out of breath. He is a sweet cat and it is fun to talk to him, for the first hour or so. After that, you just get out of breath and tired. They don't know what they are asking for if they ask to talk to "the man of" my "house."

[Kalidurga]

53. Ah ha ha ha I never knew regressives could be so funny.

I almost wish one would call me so I could give em dah bidness.

[Rhiannon12866]

54. Nobody's ever said that to me!

But if they did, I'd probably be so shocked I'd hang up...

[Lil Missy]

55. I'd hang up. n/t

[Behind the Aegis]

56. Not a single woman, but I always say "Which one?"

I do get calls asking o speak to the "woman of the house," and I usually reply, "I am about as close as your gonna get in our house, but I do have a penis. Does that matter?" They usually hang up.

[BainsBane]

57. The beauty of using only a cell phone

No solicitation calls, period. Not even obnoxiously sexist ones like you describe. The salesman is a moron for limiting his commission to half of the population.

[Hekate]

58. "The number you have dialed is in a non-working series. Please check your number and dial again...

... This is a recording." That's what I used to intone to the 2:00 a.m. heavy breather when I was in college. He finally quit.

Over three decades of married life, I have become the default screener. DH used to be a computer consultant, and got a fair number of cold calls. I was able to rattle off the relevant parts of his resume without having to go get him. One persistent guy that DH did not want to talk to had the nerve to refer to me as "the iron gate" when he finally did get through to his target. I'm sure he thought I was a secretary -- which also did not bother me, because at the time I was one, just not for my husband.

Even if I were living alone again the "man of the house" line wouldn't bug me much, because I already tell everybody they can just talk to me because he doesn't want to be disturbed. If I were alone, the lie would not bother me at all.

And my fallback would still be "This is a recording"!

Hekate

[pansypoo53219]

59. i'd ask him why he wanted to talk to my cat.

i find the want the lady. mr always 2nd.

[Vinca]

61. I'd just tell them to go fuck themselves and hang up.

[LWolf]

62. They don't get through to me.

The land line is set not to ring, to go straight to the answering machine, which I check and clear once a month. It's there for emergency purposes; anyone who wants to talk to me will call the cell. If I don't recognize the name or number on the cell I don't answer it.

If I WERE to answer a call, and a question, like that, the answer would be:

"If by 'man of the house' you mean the head of household who is in charge of household finances and makes all decisions, I AM the 'WOman' of the house."

[Dorian Gray]

63. It's happened once in recent times

And it was an investment advisor. I explained that I handled our investments (true) and that I was happy with the advisor we use. No plans to switch it up.

He asked if there was a better time to call my husband. I just laughed and said, "Good luck with that!"

[raccoon]

65. "He's too drunk to come to the phone." I'd use that old standby, though this has never happened to

me.

[davsand]

67. Back when I was single, if they called for Mr. Dav___ I just said he was dead.

"Nope, can't talk to him--he's dead." Clearly, if they were calling for a Mr. they were nobody that I knew and they were nobody I particularly wanted to talk to.

Now, anybody that calls and asks for "The Mr." gets grilled, politely. "May I tell him who is calling please?" "May I tell him what this is regarding?" Without a good answer, I do one of two things. I either yell (without covering the phone) "This is ____ calling about ___. Do you WANT to talk to him?" Usually that is met with a "Gawd, NO!" that I'm pretty sure can be heard at the other end of the phone.

On rare occasions when I want to be pure evil I hand the phone to my husband anyway and then laugh like a hyena while I watch him try and get off the phone. I find it quite entertaining.

Maybe I need to get out more...


Laura

[Marrah_G]

68. I've never gotten a call like that

I'm not sure what I would say!!!!!!!!!!

[robinlynne]

69. havent heard that for at least 20 years