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Sun Feb 24, 2013, 09:38 PM

Sometimes bad things happen...and I hate it.

In a hospital, in another city, my younger sister lies in an Alpha coma...a vegetative state...unresponsive since Wednesday when she choked on her lunch and subsequently went into cardiac arrest while being transported to the ER.

She had suffered for years with diabetes and neuropothy...but she struggled on.

She had had at least three strokes over the years...but she struggled on.

Bedridden and receiving physical therapy several times a week...she struggled on.

And now this bad thing happened. And I hate it.



They will decide soon when to remove the ventilator which is helping with her shallow breathing.





I hope she stops struggling then.




But I hate it.

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Arrow 59 replies Author Time Post
Reply Sometimes bad things happen...and I hate it. (Original post)
FLyellowdog Feb 2013 OP
Angry Dragon Feb 2013 #1
Sekhmets Daughter Feb 2013 #2
FLyellowdog Feb 2013 #7
Sekhmets Daughter Feb 2013 #10
Richardo Feb 2013 #3
grasswire Feb 2013 #4
Beacool Feb 2013 #5
a la izquierda Feb 2013 #6
roody Feb 2013 #8
patrice Feb 2013 #9
barbtries Feb 2013 #11
fizzgig Feb 2013 #12
GentryDixon Feb 2013 #13
CherokeeDem Feb 2013 #14
sheshe2 Feb 2013 #15
mac56 Feb 2013 #16
FLyellowdog Feb 2013 #17
siligut Feb 2013 #26
tblue Feb 2013 #18
Tumbulu Feb 2013 #19
freshwest Feb 2013 #20
riderinthestorm Feb 2013 #21
Demo_Chris Feb 2013 #22
progressoid Feb 2013 #23
onestepforward Feb 2013 #24
JI7 Feb 2013 #25
geckosfeet Feb 2013 #27
frogmarch Feb 2013 #28
MannyGoldstein Feb 2013 #29
mettamega Feb 2013 #30
LineReply .
libodem Feb 2013 #31
Dustlawyer Feb 2013 #32
OneGrassRoot Feb 2013 #57
FLyellowdog Feb 2013 #33
ninehippies Feb 2013 #34
yewberry Feb 2013 #35
Iggo Feb 2013 #36
WinkyDink Feb 2013 #37
Blue_In_AK Feb 2013 #38
bvar22 Feb 2013 #39
deek Feb 2013 #40
ashling Feb 2013 #41
tavalon Feb 2013 #49
DonCoquixote Feb 2013 #42
AverageJoe90 Feb 2013 #43
renate Feb 2013 #44
Worried senior Feb 2013 #45
FLyellowdog Feb 2013 #46
tavalon Feb 2013 #48
FLyellowdog Feb 2013 #50
tavalon Feb 2013 #47
ProfessionalLeftist Feb 2013 #51
Rider3 Feb 2013 #52
FLyellowdog Feb 2013 #53
FLyellowdog Feb 2013 #54
Phentex Feb 2013 #55
OneGrassRoot Feb 2013 #56
steve2470 Feb 2013 #58
LineNew Reply .
reflection Feb 2013 #59

Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 09:39 PM

1. ..........

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 09:40 PM

2. I am so sorry...

and I know your pain. My younger brother died in Vietnam....

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Response to Sekhmets Daughter (Reply #2)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 09:44 PM

7. And you never forget the pain.

So sorry.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Reply #7)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 09:49 PM

10. No you don't ...

I wish there were real words of comfort I could offer.... But we each come to terms with loss in our own way. I hope your path is smooth.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 09:41 PM

3. I'm so sorry to hear about your sister.

Wishing peace and strength to you and your family.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 09:43 PM

4. sincere sympathy here

Take care of your own self too, in this difficult time.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 09:43 PM

5. I am so sorry.

I'll keep your sister in my thoughts and prayers.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 09:43 PM

6. Oh mercy!

I am so sorry.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 09:44 PM

8. So sorry.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 09:47 PM

9. Two of my sisters have passed on. Cancer. It's okay to feel what you're feeling.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 09:57 PM

11. i'm so sorry FLyellowdog

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 10:04 PM

12. peace to your sister and you

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 10:05 PM

13. I am so very sorry.

I know how you feel watching your sister suffer daily, as I did with my sister. And when the time came for her to pass, I was thankful she was out of her misery. But I hated it.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 10:07 PM

14. So sorry...

there are times when life seems to give us more than we can bear. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 10:11 PM

15. I am so sorry. FLyellowdog...

I lost a sib too. I hated it too.
to you

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 10:19 PM

16. Bless her and bless you.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 10:20 PM

17. To all you dear DU posters...

You help make the long dark nights seem somewhat less scary. When I lost my parents more than 35 years ago it seemed more understandable...but to lose my younger sister is a cross I can hardly bear. She had just had her first grandchild last year and she deserved more time with that precious little girl.

Thank you for all your positive energy and caring thoughts.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Reply #17)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 11:04 PM

26. Yes, she does deserve more

I am sorry.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 10:25 PM

18. BIG HUG!

I'm so sorry, sweetie!

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 10:36 PM

19. I am so sorry

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 10:38 PM

20. Sorry to hear this. So hard to lose a contemporary - especially family - ((((HUGS))))

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 10:39 PM

21. Aw damn. I am so, so very sorry



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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 10:51 PM

22. Sorry to hear this :(

 

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 10:57 PM

23. FLyellowdog

So, so sorry.




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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 10:59 PM

24. I'm so sorry, FLyellowdog

Wishing peace and comfort to you and your family.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 11:01 PM

25. i'm so sorry

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 11:18 PM

27. Good God. I am so very sorry. I am hoping for the best for her.

Please be well.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 11:19 PM

28. Ohhhh, so sorry!

My heart goes out to you, FLyellowdog.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 11:19 PM

29. So sorry to hear!

Peace to you and your family.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 11:27 PM

30. blessings, blessings

blessings for your self and you sister and family
so hard, so unexpected - my heart is touched by so many conflicting feelings moving through your family - we are all being changed by this moment

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 11:30 PM

31. .

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 11:34 PM

32. When I lost my son I had to take it 1 day at a time.

It does slowly get better!

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Response to Dustlawyer (Reply #32)

Wed Feb 27, 2013, 09:04 AM

57. ...



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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 11:56 PM

33. It's time to place my head down and wait for the dreams that bring me memories of our childhood.

There are three of us...three girls...the eldest was the smartest and loved the best because she was the first. I was the middle child who found herself playing the role of 'the fixer'...the arbitrator...the pleaser who was loved best because I could be depended on to get things done. The youngest was the cutest and funniest who was loved best because she could make everyone laugh.

We never outgrew our pecking order and the competition has been brutal. Except for now...now none of that seems so important anymore.

I hope tomorrow brings the light that will lead my dear sister to her final destination. She's ready and not afraid. Peace.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 11:57 PM

34. love and prayers and peaceful thoughts to you both

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Mon Feb 25, 2013, 12:01 AM

35. Oh holy cow.

I'm so sorry.

I'm not a particularly religious person, really, but in these moments the only place that I know to retreat to are philosophically best described in this way:

Thy will be done.
That might be God, it might be fate, it might be karma: Thy will be done.

Good thoughts to you, your sister & your family.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Mon Feb 25, 2013, 12:12 AM

36. I hate it, too.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Mon Feb 25, 2013, 12:12 AM

37. {{{FLyellowdog}}} I'm so sorry for you and your sister. Peace.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Mon Feb 25, 2013, 12:24 AM

38. I'm so sorry.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Mon Feb 25, 2013, 12:26 AM

39. My heart hurts for you tonight.

I hope you find peace.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Mon Feb 25, 2013, 12:29 AM

40. peace to you and your sister

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Mon Feb 25, 2013, 12:36 AM

41. I am so sorry

I don't want to say "I know how you feel," but I lost my little brother to AIDS about 17 years ago

I am truly sorry.

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Response to ashling (Reply #41)

Mon Feb 25, 2013, 12:56 PM

49. You do know something of it

Each grief is different but any of us who have faced this sort of grief know the pain, the anger, the horror. It is a brother and sisterhood that none of us would choose to belong to, but we nonetheless, do.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Mon Feb 25, 2013, 12:40 AM

42. Best wishes

My sister was in a coma as well,though thankfully she recovered.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Mon Feb 25, 2013, 02:08 AM

43. Sorry about your sister. =(

If it helps any, at least it sounds like she's not in any pain right now. And, here's a virtual hug for ya.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Mon Feb 25, 2013, 02:13 AM

44. I'm so sorry. What a hard path she has had to travel, and now this

This last part of her journey is harder on you, and her family, than it is on her, but it's still not fair... it is so sad. I am so sorry.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Mon Feb 25, 2013, 10:53 AM

45. So sorry

she's had a very hard time of it.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Mon Feb 25, 2013, 12:12 PM

46. It's already midday, but I'm just getting started.

Seems like the stupid mundane tasks take so long to do, but then I think how selfish and lazy that would seem to my sister. I know she'd be happy to make the bed, do the laundry, and take the dog out if she could.

I want to say I hope today is her special day, but I know in my heart that she already left us days ago. I guess what I really hope is that she is at last healed and whole as she has always believed she would be when the moment of truth arrived. For me, I'm not so sure...but if she was right, then all is well...she's happy and healthy once again. If she was wrong, then at least her suffering is over.

So I'll try not to hate it.

Thanks.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Reply #46)

Mon Feb 25, 2013, 12:54 PM

48. Hate it as much as you want

This is your time of grief. Do whatever feels right. And know that those of us who have traveled this road before offer you gentleness and care during this awful, awful time.

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Response to tavalon (Reply #48)

Mon Feb 25, 2013, 01:38 PM

50. ty...

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Mon Feb 25, 2013, 12:51 PM

47. I am so sorry for you and your family

I'm grateful that she won't struggle much more, but your pain is fresh and now and ouch. I am so, so, sorry.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Mon Feb 25, 2013, 02:45 PM

51. I'm so sorry ...

...wishing both your sister and you peace.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Mon Feb 25, 2013, 03:38 PM

52. Prayers & thoughts

I wish there was more I could offer.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Mon Feb 25, 2013, 07:24 PM

53. She will be taken off the ventilator tomorrow at 1:00 EST.

Doctors say her passing could be quick or it could take a week or so...most cases like this resolve themselves in 3-5 days.

So, a day at a time...

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Wed Feb 27, 2013, 08:57 AM

54. Wednesday: She left us this morning at 8:42 am.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Reply #54)

Wed Feb 27, 2013, 09:01 AM

55. I'm so sorry...

Hugs to you and your family.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Reply #54)

Wed Feb 27, 2013, 09:03 AM

56. My sincere condolences, FLyellowdog...



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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Wed Feb 27, 2013, 09:08 AM

58. I'm very sorry to hear this

I hope you and your family get all the support you need.

God bless you and your sister.

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Response to FLyellowdog (Original post)

Wed Feb 27, 2013, 09:10 AM

59. .

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