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Wed Feb 20, 2013, 09:52 AM

Let's say you wake up at night & fear that there are burglars in your house.

You've got to hunt them down and shoot them. But where?
Which of the following is more likely to be the case?
8 votes, 0 passes | Time left: Unlimited
They're trying to take your jewelry and other valuables in the bedroom
0 (0%)
They're trying to take your electronics in the living room
3 (38%)
They're trying to take an expensive painting in your den
0 (0%)
They're trying to take a crap in your bathroom.
5 (63%)
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Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll

41 replies, 1606 views

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Arrow 41 replies Author Time Post
Reply Let's say you wake up at night & fear that there are burglars in your house. (Original post)
Bucky Feb 2013 OP
TexasPaganDem Feb 2013 #1
Bucky Feb 2013 #5
Voice for Peace Feb 2013 #37
cherokeeprogressive Feb 2013 #40
el_bryanto Feb 2013 #7
polly7 Feb 2013 #2
Bucky Feb 2013 #13
polly7 Feb 2013 #15
pipoman Feb 2013 #3
Paladin Feb 2013 #27
SheilaT Feb 2013 #4
Bucky Feb 2013 #10
SheilaT Feb 2013 #12
ecstatic Feb 2013 #25
TwilightGardener Feb 2013 #6
onehandle Feb 2013 #8
Bucky Feb 2013 #21
HereSince1628 Feb 2013 #9
HappyMe Feb 2013 #11
EastKYLiberal Feb 2013 #14
Bucky Feb 2013 #17
madokie Feb 2013 #16
irisblue Feb 2013 #18
badtoworse Feb 2013 #19
rustydog Feb 2013 #20
TBF Feb 2013 #22
SQUEE Feb 2013 #23
Bucky Feb 2013 #28
SQUEE Feb 2013 #32
LiberalEsto Feb 2013 #24
pipi_k Feb 2013 #26
Bucky Feb 2013 #29
PD Turk Feb 2013 #30
sarisataka Feb 2013 #31
Crepuscular Feb 2013 #33
Johonny Feb 2013 #34
Gorp Feb 2013 #35
SQUEE Feb 2013 #38
hunter Feb 2013 #36
TexasPaganDem Feb 2013 #39
riderinthestorm Feb 2013 #41

Response to Bucky (Original post)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 09:54 AM

1. So...

You're asking us where our valuables are in order of worth?

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Response to TexasPaganDem (Reply #1)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 09:56 AM

5. Yeah, so you probably shouldn't invite me over after answering this question

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Response to Bucky (Reply #5)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 12:31 PM

37. hahahaha

I keep the jewels in the kitchen drawer with the sharp knives,
so probably an intruder wouldn't look there.

And the safe is hidden well behind a mirror. Of course it
doesn't lock well, but nobody would think to even look
behind the mirror.

All other valuables go on the porch under the bag of
cat litter. Who would ever look there? But at least if
an intruder finds it, he wouldn't have to come in the
house, unless of course he needed the bathroom.

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Response to Voice for Peace (Reply #37)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 08:05 PM

40. 37% of all wall safes are hidden behind paint-by-numbers portraits or mirrors.

I read it on the internet and your post simply proves what I read.

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Response to TexasPaganDem (Reply #1)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 09:56 AM

7. I had the same thought nt

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Response to Bucky (Original post)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 09:54 AM

2. I don't own too much of value ...

so I'd assume they were there to cause me physical harm. That said, knowing that someone I loved was in the house with me ... my first concern would be assessing their safety and making sure they were hidden.

Edit ... I guess they wouldn't know I had nothing of value so scrap that part. The rest still applies.

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Response to polly7 (Reply #2)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 09:59 AM

13. So, you're saying you *wouldn't* just start firing random shots through the bathroom door?

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Response to Bucky (Reply #13)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 10:01 AM

15. Yep. I find his claims to be pretty unbelievable. nt.

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Response to Bucky (Original post)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 09:55 AM

3. You forgot 'They are looking for you because they think it would be fun to victimize you'..

FFS...what a truly lame thread..

edit..some days I really miss the 'unrec' option..

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Response to pipoman (Reply #3)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 10:59 AM

27. Aw, Don't Be Huffy.


Just because there wasn't a "They showed up to make my Gun Enthusiast fantasies real" selection, doesn't mean you have to cop an attitude.....

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Response to Bucky (Original post)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 09:55 AM

4. I don't quite understand the question.

What if I don't have a gun?

Plus, what do you mean "You've got to hunt them down and shoot them." Really? Got to hunt them down?

Yes, I know you're referencing the Oscar kills his model girlfriend thing, but that is EXACTLY the mentality that leads to all the gun deaths we hear about.

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Response to SheilaT (Reply #4)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 09:57 AM

10. congratulations on hitting 12,000

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Response to Bucky (Reply #10)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 09:58 AM

12. Thanks.

I hadn't even noticed my count until you did.

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Response to SheilaT (Reply #4)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 10:47 AM

25. Thanks. I had no idea what all the toilet burglar

threads were about.

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Response to Bucky (Original post)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 09:56 AM

6. Maybe they had some bad Jimmy Dean? You don't know when nature is going to call!

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Response to Bucky (Original post)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 09:56 AM

8. No need. Ted Nugent says that he shoots people the moment they cross his property line.

Mailmen, neighbors, burglars, or as Lewis Black said, Girl Scouts selling cookies.

If I were armed, I assume that like the pants pooper, I could pick them off as they arrive.

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Response to onehandle (Reply #8)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 10:16 AM

21. Well, I'd say that's a fitting punishment for wanting to visit Ted Nugent.

Although I think I'd feel bad for the girl scout's dad or mom who's dutifully walking them around the neighborhood to sell the cookies.

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Response to Bucky (Original post)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 09:57 AM

9. A person is entitled to the best defense they can muster...

if the best they can muster is claiming an intruder is locked in the bathroom, they are entitled to that defense.

Why mock a person whose best defense is in the Crapper?

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Response to Bucky (Original post)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 09:58 AM

11. I can't 'hunt them down and shoot them'.

I don't have a gun.

My only concern is that they leave my husband and I alone.

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Response to Bucky (Original post)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 09:59 AM

14. I don't own a gun, but if I could rig my electronics to explode in case of theft...

 

And have a 100% guarantee it wouldn't go off on me...

I'd do it in a heartbeat.

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Response to EastKYLiberal (Reply #14)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 10:11 AM

17. Well that's easy enough to guarantee



Just calmly walk away from any explosion and you will be okay.

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Response to Bucky (Original post)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 10:02 AM

16. I always think that it's they want to take a crap in my bathroom

never fails

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Response to Bucky (Original post)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 10:12 AM

18. dog bed#3 is in front of the tv

so likely the noise is from falling on a partially chewed toy, or a cat, or a dog. This is a pretty small house, the dog alarm works very well.

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Response to Bucky (Original post)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 10:13 AM

19. I actually had a burglar crap in my bathroom

It stunk to high heavens.

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Response to Bucky (Original post)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 10:13 AM

20. Call 911 and get the fuck out of the house

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Response to Bucky (Original post)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 10:18 AM

22. This is why we have big dogs instead of guns -

we are not going to shoot each other by mistake & the dogs know who belongs in the house. Heaven help the burglar who tries to take the 95-lb Lab's food.

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Response to Bucky (Original post)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 10:39 AM

23. I am not hunting down anyone, I have the advantage. I know my house very well in the dark

No person making entry has that advantage, the dogs would have alerted me, and I know all the concealment, AND cover inside my home. I will stay in place near my bed, illuminate the threat, and give them 3 seconds to be on the wall. All choices to survive are theirs at this point, but 800 lumens and a green laser dot on the chest are very strong incentives to stop right now. If they flee, or stop, I will not shoot and it is a win for me and them , any further advance or movement in my general direction, they chose poorly.
I have trained this and many other scenarios repeatedly, and actually would sincerely hope the loss of initiative would belay any aggression on their part.
This follows a very established protocol, I have illuminated, identified, and now frozen the actor.
I have fulfilled more than the legal responsibilities of Castle Doctrine, and morally as well, all he/she has to do at this point is recognize the situation, and make a choice to stand down.

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Response to SQUEE (Reply #23)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 11:04 AM

28. I can tell from your tidy preparations you've never fought ninjas.

What's more, sadly, you're still unprepared to deal with these psycho, shadowy killers from space.



not even pirates can withstand their pure lethal awesomeness



a true ninja would slice thru you and your laser and you nunchuks in those generous 3 seconds you've left them to strike. You would be like that guy on the right, only more fucked up



Ninjas aren't simply "at home" in the dark. Ninjas are the dark.



If you're unwilling to shoot them through the bathroom door, sight unseen, you're probably already dead.

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Response to Bucky (Reply #28)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 11:16 AM

32. Oh please, I am no piker

I am always prepared, I have a phased plasma rifle in the 40 watt range, as well as T-Cell infested Dobermans, and should the situation become especially dire? I have contingency plans to fall back to the orbital platform and Nuke it from space, it's the only way to be sure...
Ninjas..pfffft

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Response to Bucky (Original post)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 10:42 AM

24. I can't think of anything worth stealing in our house nt


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Response to Bucky (Original post)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 10:54 AM

26. bwahahahah!!!!

I'm sorry, but this made me laugh, for real!

I don't have expensive jewels or silver or paintings.

So I guess the only logical thing to do is assume they're pinching a loaf in my bathroom, and rummaging through the closet looking for the hand sanitizer.






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Response to pipi_k (Reply #26)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 11:07 AM

29. :o)

Thanks. I'm a little surprised most people tried to engage me in serious discussion about the issue. On the other hand, I was able to prove once again that ninja citations can win just about any argument, even the argument that's not going on.

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Response to Bucky (Original post)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 11:11 AM

30. if somebody breaks into my house

they'll be busy with a couple of large, protective dogs, they won't be hard to find

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Response to Bucky (Original post)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 11:12 AM

31. I would go to the sound of

The person shouting Git this #%*-+)#@ cat offa me. Hopefully the video will make me a winner on AFV.

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Response to Bucky (Original post)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 11:23 AM

33. Drugs?

Not a commentary on the Bullshit defense that is being put forth in the Pistorius case but I believe that it's pretty common for prescription drugs to be a target for B&E thieves, easy to carry and sell on the black market for someone looking for some quick cash. I'd guess that the most common place that prescription drugs are kept would be in the master bathroom.

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Response to Bucky (Original post)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 11:28 AM

34. I don't want another man to sit upon my throne

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Response to Bucky (Original post)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 12:14 PM

35. "HEY! Put that new roll of TP on OVERHAND!"

 

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Response to Gorp (Reply #35)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 02:23 PM

38. My father loves you right now..

He was insistent this was a necessity, I am much more of a lucky if it gets on the roller kind of guy...

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Response to Bucky (Original post)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 12:17 PM

36. All the electronics in my house are recycled.

What's an old DVD player, VCR, or Pentium III laptop held together with hot glue and duct tape worth???

We have tons of family art but it's hard to sell. We know that because some of us have tried and learned that being a starving artist isn't all that romantic. My wife is a very talented artist, but that's not her day job. My dad's a talented artist too, but it wasn't his day job either.

If the 1984 scratch-and-dent cars parked in our driveway don't discourage burglars, the dogs will.

Our house is not quite so bad as the house I grew up in. If there were ever any burglars in that house, who could tell? Maybe they drank the milk you were planning to have on your corn flakes? Or they took the last clean towel? It was always just sort of assumed that the guy in the bathroom was there at someone's invitation. If they'd passed inspection by all five dogs they were probably okay.

Thankfully, I've never had any reason to shoot anyone even though I've been in some pretty rough situations, including some where the bad guys had guns and I didn't.

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Response to Bucky (Original post)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 08:01 PM

39. I don't need a gun

I have a child that collects Legos. There was a petition to replace land mines with Legos scattered about in military zones, and the vote is that it is too cruel.

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Response to TexasPaganDem (Reply #39)

Wed Feb 20, 2013, 08:16 PM

41. LOL! Or Barbie shoes - those plastic stilettos are beyond wicked. Welcome to DU!



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