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Sun Feb 17, 2013, 05:24 PM

Do lawd! The Dumbest Op-Ed EVER.

Animals Can't Talk

Signs that read “Deer Crossing” and the like are going to continue to pop up throughout our country including Avon Lake, but who are these signs for? Deer cannot read, do not obey the law and probably will cross where they wish. Although adorable companions, it is hard to remember the last time that the news reported an animal talking, thinking or providing significant input for the benefit of society. Yet, these signs cost taxpayers like so much of government.

Dogs, cats, whales, seals and deer are animals that might enhance a human’s life, but all cannot read, write or think. They are animals. Yes, people dress them, buy them extravagant blinge and do other strange things with them; however, animals are not human. They are on this earth like trees to make humans’ lives better. As humans we must be kind to them, eat them when hungry, feed them when they are, but remember they are here to enhance our lives. Besides, it appears that this gesture of kindness to animals does not extend human to human. This President’s Obamacare appears to welcome abortion of innocent babies. It is painful to think that there are those who cry for seals while Obamacare never blinks an eye at abortion.

Somewhere the advancement of society has been limited by animals and the unscientific malarkey of loons. America has had to halt drilling, construction, experiments for medicine and cosmetics and much that might benefit humans.

Yes, signs are important-- to humans; “Stop” signs, and others are more than just costly decorations scattered along the roadways. However, depending on the school district, most humans can read them, but animals not so much.
http://avon-oh.patch.com/blog_posts/animals-cant-talk

...smh.....just smh.....

48 replies, 2984 views

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Arrow 48 replies Author Time Post
Reply Do lawd! The Dumbest Op-Ed EVER. (Original post)
Are_grits_groceries Feb 2013 OP
Dark n Stormy Knight Feb 2013 #1
bunnies Feb 2013 #2
kentauros Feb 2013 #36
bunnies Feb 2013 #38
kentauros Feb 2013 #41
bunnies Feb 2013 #47
kentauros Feb 2013 #48
pinboy3niner Feb 2013 #3
JHB Feb 2013 #17
life long demo Feb 2013 #19
rhett o rick Feb 2013 #4
neverforget Feb 2013 #5
Demo_Chris Feb 2013 #6
Tripper11 Feb 2013 #7
dlwickham Feb 2013 #11
BlueJazz Feb 2013 #8
Politicalboi Feb 2013 #9
dlwickham Feb 2013 #10
OldDem2012 Feb 2013 #15
theKed Feb 2013 #30
mountain grammy Feb 2013 #12
wandy Feb 2013 #13
GoneOffShore Feb 2013 #14
wryter2000 Feb 2013 #16
alarimer Feb 2013 #21
DollarBillHines Feb 2013 #18
life long demo Feb 2013 #20
Are_grits_groceries Feb 2013 #22
DisgustipatedinCA Feb 2013 #23
LeftInTX Feb 2013 #24
surrealAmerican Feb 2013 #25
ck4829 Feb 2013 #26
malaise Feb 2013 #27
Butterbean Feb 2013 #28
Orrex Feb 2013 #29
Are_grits_groceries Feb 2013 #32
theKed Feb 2013 #31
kentauros Feb 2013 #37
theKed Feb 2013 #39
kentauros Feb 2013 #43
2theleft Feb 2013 #33
sadbear Feb 2013 #34
Ikonoklast Feb 2013 #45
LeftinOH Feb 2013 #35
JaneyVee Feb 2013 #40
Raffi Ella Feb 2013 #42
smirkymonkey Feb 2013 #44
KamaAina Feb 2013 #46

Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Sun Feb 17, 2013, 05:29 PM

1. In addition to being filled with nonsense, it is poorly written. Go figure.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Sun Feb 17, 2013, 05:29 PM

2. Animals cant think?!

I think the writer is projecting. Must be too much "blinge".

on edit: lmao at the comments:

stefan

2:31 pm on Saturday, February 16, 2013

FUNNY HOW YOU SAY ANIMALS CAN'T READ WHEN IT LOOKS LIKE MOST OF THE COMMENTERS HERE ARE SHEEPLE. OPEN YOUR EYES TO BEARACK MOLEBAMA'S ANTI-HUMAN PRO-DEER AGENDA. THE ANIMALLUMINATI IS REAL!!!


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Response to bunnies (Reply #2)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 10:18 AM

36. Definition of "blinge" = Shiny stuff in the holds of boats



I love the "ANIMALLUMINATI"! I wonder if that super-mega pod of dolphins was a sign of the animapocalypse caused by the animallumiati?


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Response to kentauros (Reply #36)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 10:57 AM

38. lmao

animapocalypse! And here I was SURE it was gonna be zombies!

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Response to bunnies (Reply #38)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 11:18 AM

41. It could still be zombies... of sheep!



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Response to kentauros (Reply #41)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 02:52 PM

47. "violence of the lambs"

omg thats hilarious! Theres nothing like a good B horror movie. This ones a must-see!

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Response to bunnies (Reply #47)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 02:54 PM

48. I'm afraid if I watched that,

I wouldn't want to visit NZ again! Traumatized by herds of sheep on the rolling hills

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Sun Feb 17, 2013, 05:30 PM

3. The buck stops here





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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #3)

Sun Feb 17, 2013, 07:46 PM

17. Audio for "move the deer crossing (signs)"

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Response to JHB (Reply #17)

Sun Feb 17, 2013, 09:45 PM

19. OMG

No words are necessary

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Sun Feb 17, 2013, 05:32 PM

4. I agree. I recommend you make it clearer that those arent your words. nm

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Sun Feb 17, 2013, 05:33 PM

5. It's a word salad.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Sun Feb 17, 2013, 05:37 PM

6. Equally interesting are the comments.

 

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Sun Feb 17, 2013, 05:42 PM

7. This moran has a real animosity toward deer....previous post

http://avon-oh.patch.com/blog_posts/council-get-er-done-please

Dear Council:

I have watched the cable channel and have seen your concern that something be done regarding the overpopulation of deer. It has been two mating seasons for deer, however, and I am still waiting to have these deer culled.

The overpopulation of deer is a safety issue. Council and the City of Avon Lake is on alert that deer are a safety issue and this city is responsible for doing nothing.

This week Jan.4 more than 10 deer stopped traffic walking across Walker Roads from the apple orchard on the south of Walker Road to the American Legion directly across the street on the north by Giant Eagle. It was with much distress that these deer walked across the road rather than scatter to cars and hurt or kill drivers who were stopped waiting for these idiot animals to get off the road.

Then a day later, five deer ran across the same road in the same place! Finally, Sunday in the same area one deer walked up the ditch and stood by the edge of the road and stopped traffic for almost 10 minutes while drivers waited to see if the deer would cross the street or come at them. This deer scattered back to the ditch.

The three incidents in one week were not coincidence as much as usual happenings in this specific area. SOMEONE IS GOING TO GET KILLED! I have had two cars damaged by these deer.

Council must, must do something as someone is going to get killed. With the many senior citizens, new teen drivers and travelers unaware of the deer along our roads, the need to kill deer is now.

Please begin this process now.

After I sent this email to council on January 7, two more separate incidents of a herd of deer crossed both Lear Road and again on Walker Road. Vehicles were held up with many, like me, hoping that these dumb animals did not run to our cars as is very often the case. Deer are dumb animals, kill humans, destroy vegetation and spread disease--please get rid of them as Mentor is doing today!


So arm yourselves with all the guns you cam because those damned deer are arming themselves and they're looking for blood....HUMAN BLOOD!!!

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Response to Tripper11 (Reply #7)

Sun Feb 17, 2013, 06:14 PM

11. best comment

Dave

10:28 am on Thursday, January 17, 2013

I say ticket the deer for causing a dangerous condition on the road. And remember "deer kill humans!!"

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Sun Feb 17, 2013, 05:43 PM

8. "They (Animals) are on this earth like trees to make humans’ lives better"

You stupid, ignorant ugly bag of water. Who in the hell told you that humans are better than the rest of the animal kingdom?

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Sun Feb 17, 2013, 06:03 PM

9. For those with Hulu or Netflix

Watch Saturday Night Live season 5 episode 19. I can't find the video of the deer crossing by itself. Here's a quick transcript.



79s: Steve Martin / 3-D, Paul & Linda McCartney

Deer Crossing

Deer #1.....Steve Martin
Deer #2....Gilda Radner
Cow.....Garrett Morris
Deer #3.....Bill Murray
Female Motorist.....Jane Curtin
Male Motorist.....Al Franken
Deer #4.....Tom Davis












Cow: Moooooo! Say... excuse me! But do you know if there might be a Cattle Crossing near?

Deer #1: Uh -- there's one about a mile up the road. But you're welcome to cross here, if you'd like.

Cow: Noooooooooo, that's okay! Thank you!



Deer #1: Take care! Boy, was he lost! Can you believe that!



Deer #1: Now, normally I would have crossed here... but since you're with me, I'd rather not.

Deer #2: Thank you, Deer!



Deer #3: Been waiting long?

Deer #2: Yeah. It's pretty bad today.

Deer #1: I don't know how they picked this spot. It's a pretty ridiculous place for a Deer Crossing.

Deer #3: Yeah, well, I can't wait all day. I'm going.

Deer #2: Don't! Are you crazy?

Deer #3: Look, they have to stop! Right? It's a Deer Crossing! I'm out of here!



Deer #1: I don't think they have to stop!



Female Motorist: Oh, honey! Couldn't you stop?!

Male Motorist: It shot right out in front of me! Come on, let's go!







Deer #2: Do you think maybe we ought to come back later?

Deer #1: Let's go find a salt lick on the other side of the road.





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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Sun Feb 17, 2013, 06:12 PM

10. animals can't think?

stupid stupid woman

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Response to dlwickham (Reply #10)

Sun Feb 17, 2013, 06:41 PM

15. +10000. nt.

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Response to dlwickham (Reply #10)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 08:47 AM

30. Some members of the

Homo sapiens species have displayed this deficiencies.

That makes me wonder how many of them know our species designation ... or if it would make them think it's some fancy librul term for homosexuals.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Sun Feb 17, 2013, 06:20 PM

12. We have a nutbag who writes for our local rag every week, kind of like this junk

only our local rag has no comment feature. They tried it for a while, and didn't like the comments.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Sun Feb 17, 2013, 06:24 PM

13. I'm not so sure about this. Consider...

On some routs we make tunnels under the highway for critters to get to the other side safely.
Theirs that sign post up ahead. It says ' Animal crossing'!
In effect it says 'use tunnel or become extinct'.
It is still unclear if the critters could read the warning or if the ones that survived to propagate just used the tunnel to avoid large dangerous things that move fast.
As to our 'red footed friends'.
Theirs that sign post up ahead. It says 'Think'!
In effect it says, 'if you don't stop mindlessly Paul parroting you're masters you will become extinct'.

Kathleen; I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it's beginning to look like the critters are smarter than republicans.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Sun Feb 17, 2013, 06:39 PM

14. The comments are priceless

And take her to task on her previous anti-deer letters.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Sun Feb 17, 2013, 07:03 PM

16. "Whale blinge"

One of the comments asked her if she had any idea how expensive whale blinge is.

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Response to wryter2000 (Reply #16)

Sun Feb 17, 2013, 11:23 PM

21. I like to put sweaters on my whales

That water is pretty damn cold. I tell you what, though, it takes a hell of a long time to knit those sweaters.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Sun Feb 17, 2013, 08:38 PM

18. This comment slays me!

Michael E

4:31 pm on Saturday, February 16, 2013

The problem you aren't addressing is the continued reduction in education spending. If your Republican representatives would restore funding to public schools, then these deer can get back into the classrooms and start learning English. Deer do not have the money to go to private schools, and the more we reduce public school funding, the more accidents we are going to see caused by illiterate deer. If you want to know why the cost of healthcare is rising, it's not Obamacare, but under educated deer, and that, my dear, rests on your shoulders.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Sun Feb 17, 2013, 09:52 PM

20. Having just read the article & comments, I am

am, am, am, I just can't stop laughing. Years ago I would have said no one is that dumb, but with the discourse of the last 8 years I'm seriously worried about the level of intelligence of the citizens of the US. Not everyone, just the repub/teahadists/right wing.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 01:58 AM

22. Love this comment:

I had to read it twice, but I think I got it now! My dog can't read deer crossing signs, so I need to eat him when I get hungry and then run out to buy jewelry for seals? For a follow up article, please let me know the most appropriate place to buy for seals. Jared's? I'm going to run outside and fire up the grill for some real hot dogs.


Jared's needs a deer commercial. tT!

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 02:05 AM

23. I have long suspected the animal kingdom of holding us back

It's astounding that this person thought he had an argument so good he should release it to the rest of the world. People like this are not reachable, incorrigible.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 02:53 AM

24. ROFL another post: Obama's going to take your stuff!

Obama’s going to take your house, your car and anything you might have more of than the other guy or gal. Sad. Very sad, too, that 23 million Americans are without a job. They probably don’t have any stuff and are just praying for a place to sleep and eat. Infuriating, too, that under Obama for the first time in 100 years America’s credit rating has been downgraded. How did this happen? Obama promised “If I don’t fix the economy in three years, then I’ll be a one-term president." Instead Obama’s promises focused on Obamacare with its taxes, death panels, abortions and doctors answering to government rather than patients. Obama dolled out-- free cell phones, lots of entitlements, lies, and added his handpicked czars free from America’s Constitution ensuring no one branch of government becomes too powerful.

Now, pack up and hide your stuff cause Obama is going to take it. Maybe not this moment, but he’s coming after what you’ve worked to earn. Obama has his believers who think that they are entitled to America’s stuff. Each believer is waiting for Obama’s second term. It will be the end of America as we loved its capitalism. The lines will form to dole out all that cash from “ the rich“ who Obama seems to hate (yet he’s a millionaire). Are you prepared to protect your stuff from these entitlement lines?

Right now, King Obama’s edict is that he’s going to take some from the rich to give to the other folks. Obama defines these “rich” now as those who earn $250,000. Why $250,000 and not $450,000 or $95,000? If he is elected another four years, heaven forbid, his edict could change.

But the stuff? If this president plans to take from the rich to give to other folks, what else is possible? Why not cars, houses, land, trucks, boats, jewelry? You might own something the other guy doesn’t. No doubt you worked for it. You had your American Dream and saved and sacrificed till it became yours. What happens if the other folks don’t have stuff? Obama’s plan to share the wealth might not end at cash.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 07:46 AM

25. Wow. It's kind of hard to believe that was written by an adult.

It reads like it was written by a (not particularly bright) twelve year old.

They must be hard up for writers to resort to publishing this.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 07:58 AM

26. This same person probably thinks corporations are people.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 08:16 AM

27. I love this thread

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 08:18 AM

28. She has a blog. She links to it in her profile.

It's a fascinating read.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 08:37 AM

29. This joke has been running around the internet for months

It started with an allegedly real caller to a radio program complaining that those iconic Deer Crossing signs are attracting deer to those areas.

IMO the current op-ed is either a riff on that original complaint or is a deliberate hoax.

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Response to Orrex (Reply #29)


Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 08:53 AM

31. I bought my seal

a sundress but he won't wear it...what can I do?

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Response to theKed (Reply #31)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 10:55 AM

37. I don't understand.

Animals don't think, so how can your seal refuse to wear that dress? Seems to me dressing your seal should be as easy as dressing a manikin

Just don't blow a seal

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Response to kentauros (Reply #37)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 11:08 AM

39. He just doesn't get

that he exists solely for human benefit. Tragic, really.

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Response to theKed (Reply #39)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 11:22 AM

43. I wonder if, in exchange for outlawing abortion,

we could get some seal re-education camps set up? Obviously, they need to be taught they are here only for our benefit. There's bound to be teachers out there of the manikin vocations willing to teach these ignorant seals...

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 09:23 AM

33. My favorite comment...

"Snakes can't read those "Don't tread on me" flags, either. We need to stop making those, too"

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 09:36 AM

34. My kitties love the extravagant blinge.

Just sayin'.

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Response to sadbear (Reply #34)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 02:33 PM

45. I get my kitties blinge made only with the ivory from endangered species of whale.

It's a "two-fer".








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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 09:59 AM

35. This is the 'Malarkey of Loons' manifesto. n/t

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 11:10 AM

40. Then the author uses a pic of a sign with no words, just a pic of a deer. READ WHAT??

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 11:21 AM

42. seriously

the simplistic perspective expressed I just- haha wow.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 02:15 PM

44. I can't believe this was even published.

The dumbest thing I have ever read. She makes absolutely no sense at all.

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Response to smirkymonkey (Reply #44)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 02:37 PM

46. It's Patch

not an actual newspaper, but a series of local websites. Some of these are actually good. Newtown, CT's, for instance, got slammed with hits after the shooting.

This one, not so much.

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