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Fri Feb 15, 2013, 05:42 PM

Bus Transporting Carnival Cruise Passengers Crashes Into Sewage Treatment Plant

http://www.theonion.com/articles/bus-transporting-carnival-cruise-passengers-crashe,31322

Bus Transporting Carnival Cruise Passengers Crashes Into Sewage Treatment Plant

NEWS IN BRIEF • News • ISSUE 49•07 • Feb 15, 2013

MOSS POINT, MS—The ongoing plight of passengers who recently escaped the disabled Carnival cruise liner Triumph took another unfortunate turn Thursday when, just hours after they disembarked the filthy ship and boarded a charter bus for New Orleans, their vehicle careened off the road and crashed into a local sewage treatment plant. “Oh, goddamn it, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” former Triumph traveler Laura Jackson said as torrents of human waste rose around her ankles and soiled her newly changed clothing. “You know what? Bring it on. Just go ahead and pour shit all over me. Lock me in a Porta-Potty and roll me down a hill, see if I give a fuck. Screw it.” At press time, Carnival had issued an apology to all passengers affected by the accident and offered them 100 Loyalty Club points redeemable on any future cruise.

23 replies, 2188 views

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Arrow 23 replies Author Time Post
Reply Bus Transporting Carnival Cruise Passengers Crashes Into Sewage Treatment Plant (Original post)
Hissyspit Feb 2013 OP
Hekate Feb 2013 #1
Isoldeblue Feb 2013 #2
LiberalEsto Feb 2013 #3
uppityperson Feb 2013 #4
Kalidurga Feb 2013 #5
Cirque du So-What Feb 2013 #6
A HERETIC I AM Feb 2013 #7
Cirque du So-What Feb 2013 #8
A HERETIC I AM Feb 2013 #13
Generic Other Feb 2013 #22
NYC_SKP Feb 2013 #9
ThoughtCriminal Feb 2013 #10
NoPasaran Feb 2013 #16
rhett o rick Feb 2013 #11
Cooley Hurd Feb 2013 #12
formercia Feb 2013 #14
davidpdx Feb 2013 #15
Le Taz Hot Feb 2013 #17
BlancheSplanchnik Feb 2013 #18
KoKo Feb 2013 #19
Hissyspit Feb 2013 #23
William769 Feb 2013 #20
countryjake Feb 2013 #21

Response to Hissyspit (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 05:46 PM

1. Just call it "A Series of Unfortunate Events"



Peeling The Onion can make you cry.

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Response to Hissyspit (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 05:48 PM

2. Fooled again! LOL n/t

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Response to Hissyspit (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 05:50 PM

3. 100 Loyalty Club points for a future cruise?

Good grief, you'd have to be insane to set foot on another cruise ship after a series of disasters like those poor folks. I imagine the cruise line owners feel safe expecting that nobody's going to redeem those "loyalty points".

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Response to Hissyspit (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 05:53 PM

4. You almost got me. Since 1 did break down, I almost believed you.

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Response to Hissyspit (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 06:09 PM

5. The Onion doesn't have much on reality...

guess that is why they just report the news now. With sometimes slight embellishments.

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Response to Hissyspit (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 06:27 PM

6. 'Lock me in a Porta-Potty and roll me down a hill...'

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Response to Cirque du So-What (Reply #6)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 06:33 PM

7. My throat hurts from laughing and trying to read this to a coworker!

Funniest line I've read in a long time.


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Response to A HERETIC I AM (Reply #7)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 06:38 PM

8. That line may replace one of my old standbys

'Well, I'll be dipped in dogshit and shot for stinking!'

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Response to Cirque du So-What (Reply #8)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 07:29 PM

13. LOL.....

No kidding.

"Lock me in a Porta Potty and roll me down a hill" has a certain understated elegance, no?

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Response to Cirque du So-What (Reply #6)

Sat Feb 16, 2013, 12:22 AM

22. I needed to go potty after reading that!

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Response to Hissyspit (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 06:38 PM

9. Lock me in a Porta-Potty and roll me down a hill, see if I give a fuck.

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Response to Hissyspit (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 06:50 PM

10. I can't believe the meteor missed.

Do you know how long it takes to set this up again?

Start over...

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Response to ThoughtCriminal (Reply #10)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 08:28 PM

16. DUzy!

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Response to Hissyspit (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 06:51 PM

11. Well you did get me. Good for you or the onion or someone. nm

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Response to Hissyspit (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 07:26 PM

12. Despite the horror Carnival put its guests thru...

...this fucking SLAYED me!

On edit:

“Oh, goddamn it, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” former Triumph traveler Laura Jackson said as torrents of human waste rose around her ankles and soiled her newly changed clothing. “You know what? Bring it on. Just go ahead and pour shit all over me. Lock me in a Porta-Potty and roll me down a hill, see if I give a fuck. Screw it.”


In need of a diaper here!

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Response to Hissyspit (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 08:18 PM

14. Another Vacation down the Toilet

that didn't work.

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Response to Hissyspit (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 08:23 PM

15. That is hilarious

I too almost fell for it

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Response to Hissyspit (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 08:33 PM

17. . . .

Delete because I just now saw it was the Onion. Got me!

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Response to Hissyspit (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 08:34 PM

18. A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again.


Wish David Foster Wallace could have been around for this.

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Response to Hissyspit (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 08:46 PM

19. OMG..you can't make this stuff up!

Carnival Disaster Cruise that just "Keeps Giving!"

How's your Mom...are you still waiting? If you are...these things often go awhile before the surgeon or someone gets to you. They are stabilizing the patient and trying to grab a bite to eat.

We waited for 10 hours before we were told the "OK" and it was supposed to be a five hour operation.

Had relatives calling and complaining that we hadn't gotten back to them while we were sitting biting our nails wondering about everything.

Anyway this Carnival Cruise thing is enough bizarre that I hope it gave you a laugh and took your mind off it for awhile.

agains...best to you and your Mom and family.

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Response to KoKo (Reply #19)

Sat Feb 16, 2013, 10:26 AM

23. Updates are here, KoKo:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10022378357

but the surgeon came right out, and the surgery was shorter than expected. It went very well.

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Response to Hissyspit (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 09:51 PM

20. I'm glad I looked at the link before reading.

Although in this day & age it's vary plausible.

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Response to Hissyspit (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 10:30 PM

21. kickety



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