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Thu Feb 14, 2013, 06:42 PM

Last spring we took a young woman into our home.

She had told us a story -- living on the streets in a distant country, an orphanage, and malignant adoptive parents -- that was so terrible we wanted to believe it couldn’t be true. But what if it was true? We were uneasy; we didn't know what to think. But in the end, we couldn’t turn her away.

This week I finally met someone from her extended adoptive family. This woman had seen her plight, and had wanted to take her into her own home that spring –- but the girl hadn't trusted her enough because she was afraid to trust anyone in the family. With good reason.

She’s doing well in the local college now, and in a weekend job. She’s very happy to be reconnected with the loving aunt; but she’s still sharing her life with us and will continue as long as she wants. She loves us and we love her.

Here's to love, joy, and the unexpected gift.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

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Reply Last spring we took a young woman into our home. (Original post)
pnwmom Feb 2013 OP
ScreamingMeemie Feb 2013 #1
pnwmom Feb 2013 #4
OneGrassRoot Feb 2013 #2
ScreamingMeemie Feb 2013 #3
OneGrassRoot Feb 2013 #6
Justpat Feb 2013 #5
pnwmom Feb 2013 #7
Justpat Feb 2013 #9
madashelltoo Feb 2013 #8
niyad Feb 2013 #10
pnwmom Feb 2013 #13
LeftInTX Feb 2013 #11
renate Feb 2013 #12
pnwmom Feb 2013 #14
cate94 Feb 2013 #15
Curmudgeoness Feb 2013 #16
a la izquierda Feb 2013 #17
DrewFlorida Feb 2013 #18
Honeycombe8 Feb 2013 #19
reflection Feb 2013 #20
pnwmom Feb 2013 #30
beveeheart Feb 2013 #21
roguevalley Feb 2013 #22
pnwmom Feb 2013 #23
ca3799 Feb 2013 #24
pnwmom Feb 2013 #25
Sissyk Feb 2013 #26
dkf Feb 2013 #27
pnwmom Feb 2013 #28
dkf Feb 2013 #29
cui bono Feb 2013 #31
Worried senior Feb 2013 #32
pnwmom Feb 2013 #33
Chorophyll Feb 2013 #34
pnwmom Feb 2013 #35
eridani Feb 2013 #36
pnwmom Feb 2013 #39
47of74 Feb 2013 #37
Jersey Devil Feb 2013 #38
pnwmom Feb 2013 #41
Jersey Devil Feb 2013 #43
pnwmom Feb 2013 #44
Horse with no Name Feb 2013 #40
pnwmom Feb 2013 #42
Waltons_Mtn Feb 2013 #45
PABigDaddyDemocrat Feb 2013 #46
ReRe Feb 2013 #47

Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 06:44 PM

1. You are amazing, and we need more you's in the world.

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Response to ScreamingMeemie (Reply #1)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 06:45 PM

4. She made it easy, believe me. But thank you. nt

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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 06:44 PM

2. Beautiful...

simply beautiful.

Thank you.



Happy Valentine's Day to you as well.



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Response to OneGrassRoot (Reply #2)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 06:45 PM

3. ...and we need more you's as well, in the world.

It's amazing what you do with all your efforts.

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Response to ScreamingMeemie (Reply #3)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 06:49 PM

6. ....

Thank you, ScreamingMeemie

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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 06:48 PM

5. My life was changed forever by someone who took me into her home


when I was homeless, unemployable and a single mother with a baby and a 140lb dog.

She took all three of us into her home and helped me get on my feet. She was a Quaker.

I have been eternally grateful to her for seeing beyond my craziness and desperation and
responding to that.


What you are doing for the girl you took into your lives teaches her what kind of people
we are all supposed to be. You are a good person.


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Response to Justpat (Reply #5)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 06:52 PM

7. Thank you, Justpat.

What a lovely woman to take all of you in -- especially that dog!

I haven't been stretched that far, thank goodness. But our new friend has stolen the heart of one of our two dogs. The dog sleeps with her and much prefers her to me.

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Response to pnwmom (Reply #7)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 06:55 PM

9. When I was homeless the dog was my protector.



I would not have survived without him, and yes, it was beyond the call of duty to take him into her
home.

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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 06:53 PM

8. You guys are wonderful!

Yes, you are your brother/sister's keeper. Keep the love flowing!

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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 07:18 PM

10. thank you for reminding us how many good and loving people are in this world

(and, after reading some of the stuff brought to our attention here this afternoon, MUCH needed)

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Response to niyad (Reply #10)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 07:25 PM

13. And that those good and loving people are found everywhere --

and sometimes they first connect with you as someone who desperately needs help.

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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 07:19 PM

11. How wonderful and heartwarming.

I'm so glad that you were able to give this young woman a better future.

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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 07:23 PM

12. that's beautiful!

That was a huge, huge decision on your part. What an absolutely lovely thing to do.

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Response to renate (Reply #12)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 07:30 PM

14. Thank you. It was a bit scary.

People we knew were telling us about reactive attachment disorder and other problems common in adoptees that might be contributing to her "stories." There was no way of googling her truth.

But we decided to trust our guts, thank goodness. She's been a precious gift to all of us.



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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 07:32 PM

15. wow!

Beautiful story. Thanks for sharing.

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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 07:37 PM

16. I am in awe of you.

That was a beautiful thing to do.

I think that I would have been too afraid of getting burned....maybe because a few people who I have tried to help have really hurt me. But I am so glad there are people like you in the world.

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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 07:38 PM

17. You're a good egg.

The world needs more of you.

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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 07:42 PM

18. Very nice story, thank you for sharing it!

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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 08:03 PM

19. What a blessing for you both. If you never do anything else, you have done a good thing.

And you have been needed and wanted and loved in return. Not a bad exchange. We should all be so lucky. (But I'd be too afraid of a stranger to let her live with me.)

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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 08:20 PM

20. angels walk among us. n/t

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Response to reflection (Reply #20)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 02:12 AM

30. Yes. And sometimes they appear as desperate people who need help. n/t

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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 08:45 PM

21. You rock!!

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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 08:47 PM

22. goodness never ends and good deeds are peace sent into the future

I had a guy I worked with show up on my door in the early morning this last Saturday. He was just as down and out as he could be. I cooked him breakfast, gave him money I had and dropped him at the place he's staying.

I mentioned it and was told he is a meth addict, has two felonies pending for burglary and has three restraining orders against him from his family. He wants me to help him. I did the best i could do. Right now, I have a loaded shotgun in the house which I don't think I really need but meth makes you crazy.

I am happy that you did this. Being kind sometimes is risky but I don't regret much. I doubt you will too. Hug her for me. And hug yourself. I will be hugging you when you do, pnwmom

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Response to roguevalley (Reply #22)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 09:07 PM

23. Thank you, roguevalley.

Your situation, now that you know the details, is entirely different. You have to protect yourself now.

I feel very fortunate that things have worked out the way they have.

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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 09:12 PM

24. That's nice of you.. more

I just lost my spare child. He showed up about 4 years ago during spring break and just kinda stayed all week. Eventually he lived here part-time- every Friday to Sunday, any day there was no school, and many days that there was. Often, he stayed a week.

Last Thanksgiving, his parents decided they didn't like him coming over her so much and refused to let him come over anymore. They had moved out of district a year or so ago, but they continued to bring him to school here until the Christmas holiday and then they transferred him to the new district after the break. I think he asked his parents if I could adopt him at Thanksgiving and they didn't like that. I did not prompt that in any way.

He told me today that he has and ID and a job. I asked if he dropped out of school, but he did not answer that question.

I hope he will be OK. He's a bright, funny, resourceful kid and I think he will do well in life. All I could do was offer to be there for him if he ever needs any help.

I love that one like one of my own.

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Response to ca3799 (Reply #24)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 10:07 PM

25. I doubt that you've lost him forever.

My parents also had a "spare child" and she is still a part of all our lives.

In any case, you can be happy you helped him keep his head above water when he most needed it.

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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 10:26 PM

26. That is an amazing thing to do, pnwmom!

You are family now! Happy Valentine's Day to you all!

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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 10:41 PM

27. You are amazing...

 

What a wonderful thing to do.

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Response to dkf (Reply #27)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 12:35 AM

28. We were lucky, dkf.

This change to our lives came out of the blue -- we were groping in the dark at first -- but we've all been good for each other. We've gained as much as she has.

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Response to pnwmom (Reply #28)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 01:13 AM

29. It's nice to see the goodness in this world.

 

Thanks for your post...it's made DU a better more hopeful place, especially after all that's been going on lately.

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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 04:23 AM

31. Wow. What a wonderful thing to do!

Bravo.

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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 01:46 PM

32. These stories show just how much

difference a spare parent can make in a person's life.

Loved the one too about the Quaker woman taking in a baby and a dog.

There are some truly wonderful people in this world.

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Response to Worried senior (Reply #32)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 01:48 PM

33. I liked the dog story, too!

That Quaker lady really went above and beyond.

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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 01:49 PM

34. You know, a lot of us sign petitions and make calls and write checks,

but you are the real thing. Good on you!

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Response to Chorophyll (Reply #34)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 01:52 PM

35. Thanks, Chorophyll.

The thing is, this young woman has brought a lot of life and spirit into our house -- so she's been a gift to us, too.

We never would have expected that, in the beginning.

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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 02:04 PM

36. So glad that worked out well

I remember all the fuzzy info you were trying to sort out back then. Good show!

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Response to eridani (Reply #36)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 02:12 PM

39. Thanks, eridani! nt

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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 02:08 PM

37. K and R


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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 02:12 PM

38. Well, don't want to be a spoiler, but...

be very careful. There are con artists who can be very convincing. I don't know your age, but the elderly are the particular targets of a multitude of scams where young people weasel their way into their lives and then eventually into their bank accounts.

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Response to Jersey Devil (Reply #38)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 02:44 PM

41. I understand, and thank you. In general that's excellent advice.

We're not elderly, though, and we've been able to find out more about the circumstances that led to this young person's situation since last spring.

We were taking a leap of faith at the time, but she turned out to be the genuine article.

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Response to pnwmom (Reply #41)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 03:23 PM

43. Good to hear

I hesitated posting but having seen so many people taken in by phony sob stories I just had to say something. I'm happy to know that this is a story that doesn't fit that mold.

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Response to Jersey Devil (Reply #43)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 03:40 PM

44. We were cautious and protected ourselves as much as we could

while we figured out who we were dealing with.

She actually didn't tell us the worst of her secrets till she had been here more than 6 months; she had to trust us first.

Since then, I've given up on encouraging her to reconcile with either "parent." But I'm glad I found the aunt -- in Facebook -- so now the young woman has a stronger support system (not just us).

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Response to pnwmom (Original post)


Response to Horse with no Name (Reply #40)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 02:55 PM

42. I was afraid we could end up going through the kinds of things you describe.

I was half-expecting to find out she had borderline personality or other issues that would show up eventually -- you would expect that after all she's been through.

But it's been almost a year now. She's not perfect, of course, which means she fits in with us just fine. And she's this hard worker, such a determined young woman. She found a program at the local college that is paying her tuition and she's working part time at the job she's had since last spring. She'd be working 30 hrs. a week, except we urged her to limit herself to two days.

Good luck with your "spare child," as someone above called one of these young people. And bless you!

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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 03:46 PM

45. It is amazing the beauty life offers when one opens their heart to the possibilities.

You are truly a special person. Thanks for telling us your story.

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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 05:50 PM

46. k&r

well done.

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Response to pnwmom (Original post)

Fri Feb 15, 2013, 06:46 PM

47. K&R

Thank YOU, for trusting HER! There are angels walking on this earth and you are one of them.

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