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Thu Feb 14, 2013, 02:30 AM

Borowitz.. LETTER FROM KIM JONG-UN

A LETTER FROM KIM JONG-UN
Posted by Andy Borowitz


Dear World People:

For decades, North Korea was threatened by hostile foes with nuclear weapons. With our safety constantly at risk from violent intruders, we asked: How can we possibly defend ourselves? In the immortal words of my dad, the glorious Kim Jong-il: “The only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good guy with a nuke.”

I sleep safely at night knowing that a loaded nuclear silo is as close as the launch button on my nightstand. And now I understand what Dad, in his genius, instinctively knew: that the world will not be truly safe until every nation has nuclear weapons.

Perhaps because these weapons are so necessary to our defense, the U.S. government, with its lapdogs at the United Nations, is plotting to take them away from us. But as Dad used to say, “When they come for our nukes….”

That is why today I am founding the Nuclear Retaliation Association to defend the sovereign right of every nation on the planet to engulf that planet in a hellish inferno. If you join today, we will waive the initiation fee and send you this bumper sticker: “Nuclear weapons don’t kill people. People kill people who don’t have nuclear weapons.”
Peace out,
Kim Jong-un


Read more: http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/02/a-letter-from-kim-jong-un.html#ixzz2Kr9l6s1f

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Reply Borowitz.. LETTER FROM KIM JONG-UN (Original post)
Ichingcarpenter Feb 2013 OP
Turbineguy Feb 2013 #1
pampango Feb 2013 #3
malaise Feb 2013 #2
union_maid Feb 2013 #4

Response to Ichingcarpenter (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 03:45 AM

1. That boy

is just like his daddy! Go Kim Jong-Un! Don't let those evil imperialists steal your poverty and starvation!

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Response to Turbineguy (Reply #1)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 05:46 AM

3. Kim: Look at those poor South Koreans who did not have nuclear weapons to defend themselves from

"the U.S. government, with its lapdogs at the United Nations". Our citizens certainly do not want to be forced to live like South Koreans.

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Response to Ichingcarpenter (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 04:25 AM

2. Brilliant

Rec

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Response to Ichingcarpenter (Original post)

Thu Feb 14, 2013, 06:10 AM

4. That Borwitz kid

is pretty clever. Good one! Rec.

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