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Tue Feb 12, 2013, 10:28 AM

The Onion (at its best): Resigning Pope No Longer Has Strength To Lead Church Backward

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Resigning Pope No Longer Has Strength To Lead Church Backward



“It is with sadness, but steadfast conviction, that I announce I am no longer capable of impeding social progress with the energy and endurance that is required of the highest ministry in the Roman Catholic Church,” Benedict reportedly said in Latin to the Vatican’s highest cardinals. “While I’m proud of the strides the Church has made over the past eight years, from thwarting AIDS-prevention efforts in Africa to failing to punish or even admit to decades of sexual abuse of children at the hands of clergy, it has become evident to me that, in this rapidly evolving world, I now lack the capacity to continue guiding this faith back centuries.”

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“Thus, I must step down from the papacy,” he added. “But let me assure every member of the Church that the Vatican’s commitment to narrow-mindedness and social obstruction will long live on after my departure.”


the rest:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/resigning-pope-no-longer-has-strength-to-lead-chur,31248/?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=standard-post:headline:default

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Reply The Onion (at its best): Resigning Pope No Longer Has Strength To Lead Church Backward (Original post)
kpete Feb 2013 OP
phantom power Feb 2013 #1
niyad Feb 2013 #2
iandhr Feb 2013 #3
independentpiney Feb 2013 #4
formercia Feb 2013 #5

Response to kpete (Original post)

Tue Feb 12, 2013, 10:31 AM

1. it takes a lot of energy to stand astride history and yell "stop!"

younger man's game!


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Response to kpete (Original post)

Tue Feb 12, 2013, 10:32 AM

2. Onion nailed it

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Tue Feb 12, 2013, 11:52 AM

3. The Onion also said that he will accept a position at a Catholic think thank

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Tue Feb 12, 2013, 12:26 PM

4. Benedict issued a brief statement Monday afternoon consoling his followers, assuring them that

“the Church’s most ignorant and regressive days still lie ahead of us.”

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Tue Feb 12, 2013, 01:19 PM

5. Self-created potholes on the road of Regression.

...and Ratso thought he would never see them again.

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