HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Main » General Discussion (Forum) » I have the perfect candid...
Introducing Discussionist: A new forum by the creators of DU

Mon Feb 11, 2013, 08:35 AM

I have the perfect candidate for the next Pope:

Silvio Berlusconi.
Nononono, wait, think about it:
He could restore the Catholic Church to the good old days of Pope Alexander VI (Rodrigo de Borgia) when Pope and Cardinals held Bunga-Bunga-parties and the Vatican was rife with corruption and nepotism.
Silvio Berlusconi, the Party-Pope, could rebrand the Catholic Church as a modern, forward-thinking institution and lead it into the future!

* Condoms would no longer be a bad thing, reducing the number of people dying of AIDS in Africa.

* Berlusconi loves promoting sexy women into political positions of power. He's sort of a feminist! Just imagine: A 30 year-old female bishop in fish-net stockings, in your lifetime!

* Priests won't be driven into pedophilia: They can vent the needs of their sin-ful, fleshy, mortal husk with a woman now.

* New marketing ideas! How about a reality-show "All the Pope's women", "The papal crib"?
The Vatican would get its money from selling TV-rights and would no longer need donations!

* It would be easier to recruit young people! The Catholic Church has a shortage of priests right now, but Silvio Berlusconi would make it attractive as an employer again: "Join now and if you work hard, you also can be Pope one day and hold orgies with under-age moroccan prostitutes!"

* His new policies would bring Jesus Christ's philosophy of compassion and love into our everyday lives!
"Love your neighbor, speaking of which, I moved into the apartment down the hallway."

5 replies, 929 views

Reply to this thread

Back to top Alert abuse

Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 5 replies Author Time Post
Reply I have the perfect candidate for the next Pope: (Original post)
DetlefK Feb 2013 OP
longship Feb 2013 #1
Mnemosyne Feb 2013 #2
DetlefK Feb 2013 #3
Mnemosyne Feb 2013 #4
DetlefK Feb 2013 #5

Response to DetlefK (Original post)

Mon Feb 11, 2013, 08:37 AM

1. Funny!

Well worth an R&K.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to DetlefK (Original post)

Mon Feb 11, 2013, 08:49 AM

2. Driven into pedophilia for lack of a woman? WTF? nt

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Mnemosyne (Reply #2)

Mon Feb 11, 2013, 09:05 AM

3. You have a better explanation?

People need intimacy and they try to get it from the people they have contact with.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to DetlefK (Reply #3)

Mon Feb 11, 2013, 09:15 AM

4. Apparently, my satire detector isn't working yet this morning. I still do not understand why

you would equate pedophilia with lack of a woman.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Mnemosyne (Reply #4)

Mon Feb 11, 2013, 10:06 AM

5. It was satire only by half.

About two years ago I saw a report on TV where they told that a research group had conducted kind of a lie-detector-test (they scanned the brain in some way) to find out sexual preference. The "samples" included homosexuals, heterosexual pedophiles and homosexual pedophiles.
The data was compiled into a diagram which turned out to consist of four areas which matched the sexual preferences of the underlying people (heterosexual, heterosexual pedophile, homosexual and homosexual pedophile). The areas didn't have sharp boundaries though, because a few people ended up right between two neighboring categories. Nevertheless it provided for example statistical proof that homosexuality and pedophilia are two independent phenomena (contrary to what the Boy Scouts of America want you to believe).

My point is, I think there are two kinds of pedophiles: Natural-born ones and those who would hit on an adult if only they could.

I think, the celibate life of a priest runs detrimental to a healthy psychological and sexual mental evolution.
Sex is natural and not everyone has the willpower to cut it out of his life.
I think, that living in emotional isolation will sooner or later lead to a mental and moral decay at which point doing something immoral to satisfy inner needs becomes only a question of time.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Reply to this thread