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Fri Feb 8, 2013, 05:42 PM

Suzanne Venker: To be happy, we must admit women and men aren't 'equal'

Found this via a short Feministing.com post with just a GIF. Everyone's favorite authoritarian anti feminist concern troll Suzanne Venker (niece of anti-feminist icon Phyllis Schlafly) is back on FoxNews.com with a new article "To be happy, we must admit women and men aren't 'equal'", with plenty of false nostalgia of the good ol' days when Women Knew Their Place(TM). (I call it False Nostalgia because Venker was born presumably in the late '60s as she graduated from Boston University in 1990.) Venker attracted considerable buzz in 2011 with her book The Flipside of Feminism (here's a critical article about the book) and has a new book out How to Choose a Husband (And Make Peace With Marriage).

Venker opens her article quoting the minister Norman Vincent Peale: "Change your thoughts, and you change your world," then suggests: "... if women want to be successful in love, they should reject the cultural script they’ve been sold and adopt a whole new view of men and marriage."

Laying out her case:

...young women have an added burden: they’ve been raised in a society that eschews marriage. They’ve been taught instead to honor sex, singlehood and female empowerment.


Feminists assured women their efforts would result in more satisfying marriages, but the result is something else altogether. It looks something like this:

1. Women postpone marriage indefinitely and move in and out of intense romantic relationships, or even live with their boyfriends for years at a time. Eventually, their biological clocks start ticking and many decide they better hurry up and get married to provide a stable home for their yet-to-be-born children. Trouble is, their boyfriend’s not willing to commit.

2. Marriage becomes a competitive sport. The complementary nature of marriage—in which two people work together, as equals, toward the same goal but with an appreciation for the qualities each gender brings to the table—has been obliterated. Today, husbands and wives are locked in a battle about whom does more on the home front and how they’re going to get everything done. That’s not a marriage. That’s war.


But the truth must be heard. Being equal in worth, or value, is not the same as being identical, interchangeable beings. Men and women may be capable of doing many of the same things, but that doesn’t mean they want to. That we don’t have more female CEOs or stay-at-home dads proves this in spades.

Unless, of course, you’re beholden to feminism. In that case, you’ll believe the above is evidence of discrimination. You’ll believe what feminists taught you to believe: that gender is a social construct.


So what Venker is suggesting, TLDR: People are too dumb to break out of their gender-anointed roles.

After a bunch of nonsense about the Titanic, Costa Concordia, "women and children first", Venker concludes:

The battle of the sexes is over. And guess what? No one won. Why not try something else on for size? Like this: men and women are equal, but different. They’ve each been blessed with amazing and unique qualities that they bring to the table. Isn’t it time we stopped fussing about who brought what and simply enjoy the feast?


"Equal, but different?" Gee, where have we heard THAT in history before? Oh that's right.

And "blessed with amazing and unique qualities"? What's the evidence of that, the Bible?

I think Venker is peddling learned helplessness spun into Peale-like Positive Thinking. Any more thoughts?

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Reply Suzanne Venker: To be happy, we must admit women and men aren't 'equal' (Original post)
alp227 Feb 2013 OP
Cleita Feb 2013 #1
niyad Feb 2013 #2
abelenkpe Feb 2013 #3

Response to alp227 (Original post)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 05:45 PM

1. In her and Phyllis's case, it would probably be true.

However, I know for a fact that women who live in the shadows of their men, whether it be father, husband, brother or even grown-up son are not happy until they discover that happy combination of Xanax and a martini. The rest of us know that we need to be true to ourselves to be happy and our men need to understand that.

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Response to alp227 (Original post)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 06:05 PM

2. dear suzanne, do PLEASE try to come up with something original. this is the same sexist,

woman-hating twaddle we heard from the churches, from "fascinating womanhood", from "total woman", from "the rules" from "the surrendered wife", and from all those testosterone-deficient people scared to death to see women as fully human, fully equal.

I will tell you, just as I had occasion to tell your idiot aunt--you do not speak for us. it always cracked me up that your dear aunt was running around the country telling women to stay home, and tend the home, when she had nannies and housekeepers. a little digging would probably find that you are just as much a hypocrite as she has always been.

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Response to niyad (Reply #2)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 06:10 PM

3. +1000 nt

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