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Fri Feb 8, 2013, 03:19 PM

DUers how would you respond

In one of these 'breaking the ice' gatherings, a group of young people were asked to say what they would be doing or not doing in ten years.
Most weren't really sure but enjoyed discussing the topic. A few had clear options in case their #1 plan didn't work out. One young lady declared that gawd would decide what she's doing in ten years. I told her I hadn't asked his opinion and the idea was to engage one's brain and think about the future so either she participate or leave.


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Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 29 replies Author Time Post
Reply DUers how would you respond (Original post)
malaise Feb 2013 OP
patrice Feb 2013 #1
patrice Feb 2013 #2
malaise Feb 2013 #4
Blue_In_AK Feb 2013 #3
malaise Feb 2013 #5
Aerows Feb 2013 #6
malaise Feb 2013 #8
Aerows Feb 2013 #10
malaise Feb 2013 #12
Aerows Feb 2013 #18
lunatica Feb 2013 #7
malaise Feb 2013 #9
KracevayaKoshka Feb 2013 #11
malaise Feb 2013 #14
KracevayaKoshka Feb 2013 #16
Dreamer Tatum Feb 2013 #13
malaise Feb 2013 #15
el_bryanto Feb 2013 #19
NightWatcher Feb 2013 #17
malaise Feb 2013 #20
hunter Feb 2013 #21
malaise Feb 2013 #22
hunter Feb 2013 #23
malaise Feb 2013 #24
Mister Ed Feb 2013 #25
Curmudgeoness Feb 2013 #26
malaise Feb 2013 #27
lonestarnot Feb 2013 #28
AngryOldDem Feb 2013 #29

Response to malaise (Original post)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 03:34 PM

1. Thank you for what you do, malaise! . . . btw, I would proceed Socratically, but with less than the

usual touch of Socratic acid.

Engage her personally and individually with questions; discover more about how she thinks that God thing might/could happen; offer whatever genuine respect you can for what she tells you; by questioning, look for a connection in her responses that would make it possible to ask her if God gave her the ability to reason because she wants her/the young lady to affirm her/the young lady's own commitment to truth by using her brain and its abilities like learning, knowing, and reasoning and, thus, FREELY choose her own commitment for God's will for her, rather than just have it more or less forced, or coerced, upon her by whatever happens. I'd be trying to get to the point that she was created (by whatever) to reason and reasoning can shape what happens, so if you believe in a God who would create in you the abilities to shape what happens, maybe that God WANTS you to use your abilities to freely shape what happens, instead of being like an im-mature non-entity on somekind of sugar tit of "grace".

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Response to patrice (Reply #1)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 03:38 PM

2. IF God is the truth, perhaps you can see the idea of being invited to participate in the truth, by

means of a god-given ability to reason, in what I am suggesting here.

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Response to patrice (Reply #2)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 03:45 PM

4. I don't try reasoning with these people

When they come with questions I try to answer them but I demand reason.
More than a few are intellectually lazy and only want to find a space to check the latest text message - and that one's not from their gawd either.

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Response to malaise (Original post)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 03:42 PM

3. I don't know about God,

but there is a certain amount of uncertainty involved in predicting the future. I prefer to call it fate or circumstance rather than God, but I kind of see the point. My last 10 years have been fairly predictable, but going back to, say, 1998, I never could have guessed my life would be what it is now.

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Response to Blue_In_AK (Reply #3)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 03:48 PM

5. True which is why uncertainty is OK and admitting that you never thought

about it is OK. One person said he didn't want to be in prison and I suggested that he might be a little more ambitious - even he laughed. A few only wanted two degrees, a family and a job.
The idea is to make them start thinking about ten years from now.

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Response to malaise (Original post)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 03:52 PM

6. It's an interesting question

to engage someone on, so that you can see your attitudes, your ideals, and your goals in life. It certainly is an icebreaker, but that young woman was probably shy and was just saying that she would leave it to God.

Not everyone is great with confrontational questions, and that kind of is, but it is fantastic that you engaged her brain. She might be shy, though, just saying, because I was asked that during a job interview and drew a tremendous blank.

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Response to Aerows (Reply #6)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 03:56 PM

8. Nothing in her expression suggested that she was shy

She also had two friends from high school with her. No she wasn't shy - just disengaged and indifferent.

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Response to malaise (Reply #8)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 04:05 PM

10. My expression may have read as nothing

But that question really made me draw a blank because I'm really good at things that pertain to the concrete, but the future isn't concrete. This may have not been the case with the person you were questioning, I'm just telling you my experience with that particular question.

I'm probably a little scientific so I tend to deal with things with direct answers, and that one ... I did not have one.

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Response to Aerows (Reply #10)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 04:12 PM

12. Many others didn't have an answer but they gave it some thought

I understand the scientific basis of direct answers but her answer was anything but direct or scientific - some of our Fundies would make yours look like Einstein

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Response to malaise (Reply #12)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 04:17 PM

18. Oh

Last edited Fri Feb 8, 2013, 04:51 PM - Edit history (1)

You asked a Fundie. Well, I'm not a fundie, and I found it difficult, struggled with it, and tried to answer, at least. LOL. Not well, but I did try.

EDIT: And this was for an Engineering position, so yeah, I had reason to answer the way that I did, but in retrospect, I'm thrilled I didn't get it because it was a terrible company

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Response to malaise (Original post)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 03:52 PM

7. What if God lets her know he has plans for her demise at the hand of a serial killer on

8/28/2021 at 10 pm in her home? Would she plan to just sit around waiting for the killer?

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Response to lunatica (Reply #7)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 03:57 PM

9. I won't ask her that

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Response to malaise (Original post)


Response to KracevayaKoshka (Reply #11)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 04:13 PM

14. That would have been too deep for this person

That answer requires thought

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Response to malaise (Reply #14)


Response to malaise (Original post)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 04:13 PM

13. So you were rude to a Christian and you want to be high-fived?

OK, high-five! You sure showed her!

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Response to Dreamer Tatum (Reply #13)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 04:14 PM

15. Huh? n/t

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Response to malaise (Reply #15)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 04:20 PM

19. gawd? I thought that response as pretty clear.

I don't know exactly the exchange went down - but it's clear you came to a determination about what sort of person she is, that based on your story, I'm not sure I would have.

Bryant

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Response to malaise (Original post)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 04:15 PM

17. I try not to think too much, it's for the best

I bet that's what you heard in your head when she said that.

That's what I hear when people go that route on me.

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Response to NightWatcher (Reply #17)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 04:47 PM

20. Absolutely

I don't 'get it'.

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Response to malaise (Original post)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 04:55 PM

21. I wanted to work with a supercomputer.

Now I can find computers more powerful than the one I was imagining in the trash.

I wanted to go to college to be an engineer. But it turned out I hated that so I changed my major to biology. It took me nine years to graduate from college because my mental health issues got worse in young adulthood -- depression, OCD, eating disorders, that kind of thing. Ten years from my high school graduation I was working for a contractor and renting a room in a house full of bachelor alcoholics and drug addicts. That's about the time I made my next ten year plan which put my college education to use, but was full of even bigger surprises.

My point is we live in a trickster universe. Sometimes the most unlucky people in the world are those for whom everything goes smoothly, just as they planned. Opportunities for growth often occur in unexpected and unpredictable places. The secret of life is to be ready to grow whenever one finds themself in these places.

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Response to hunter (Reply #21)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 05:03 PM

22. valid point - life is often about what happens after we make plans

but discussing dreams, likes and dislikes must be better than leaving it up to some imaginary friend

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Response to malaise (Reply #22)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 06:43 PM

23. God told my mom to be a nun.

My mom's the sort who asks God and He answers.

But on that journey she encountered a priest she thought was creepy. Knowing what we now know about the Catholic Church, her radar was almost certainly accurate.

So my mom ended up in the radio business, met my dad, became a housewife and had a mess of kids.

In high school my mom might have been like your girl following God's will.

I've taught that age group and I probably would have let the girl be if I couldn't provoke any further conversation out of her. Maybe she's got plans she didn't want to express in a group -- something like marry the successful car dealer's son, have kids, be a Sunday School teacher, done. If she stuck around simply listening to the other kids maybe she'd learn something, maybe something they said would spark further ambitions.

The only way I would have pushed her was if I thought she was sassing me, and the odds are good she was sassing you, sensing your attitude about her "imaginary friend" and calling you on it.

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Response to hunter (Reply #23)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 06:47 PM

24. She's not in high school

but it's her life - she can have any plans she wants.

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Response to malaise (Original post)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 09:13 PM

25. Well, since you ask...

I think I would respond with kindness and courtesy.

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Response to malaise (Original post)

Fri Feb 8, 2013, 09:29 PM

26. I would have asked her

if she thought that god wanted her to be totally passive in the choices. Anyone who thinks that god will lead them and they don't have to do anything is not doing it right.....and I would try to lead her to come to the same conclusion. She has to be active in making decisions.

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Response to Curmudgeoness (Reply #26)

Sat Feb 9, 2013, 05:23 AM

27. Nice response

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Response to malaise (Original post)

Sat Feb 9, 2013, 05:47 AM

28. I would have asked her if she was going to have anything to do with it.

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Response to malaise (Original post)

Sat Feb 9, 2013, 06:19 AM

29. I would have thrown ol' Ben Franklin in her face:

God helps those who help themselves.

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