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Sat Jan 28, 2012, 12:11 AM

My Butt Is A Job Creator

My butt is responsible fora huge number of jobs in this country. There's a vibrant industry dedicated to paper products aimed squarely at it, or rather an unending stream of squares, where fierce competition drives innovation to ever greater heights. Or depths. Fortunes are made or lost in the battle for my butt, from Scott to the Koch Brothers (always feel a little odd about having them in by butt), always trying to gain the edge in terms of softness, lack of "pills," cushioning (embedded air), companies plying their trade for access to, my butt.

Then there are all the adjacent industries. It starts with logging for the raw materials - wood. Truckers to move logs, fuel to power the trucks, processing, chemicals, big hardware for rollers, more trucks to transport it. More fuel. Grocery stores, convenience stores for when it's 2AM and your butt needs some serious attention. Shelves in the stores.



You do not want my bunghole to become angry!

Now, let's look at the back end. Miles of pipes bring water into toilets, then many more miles take the, erm, product to plants where it's processed, degunked, more chemicals but also filters. Creating better systems to filter the waste before releasing it back "into the wild" is an industry with all the innovation of any other industry. Back end development!

Then there's the marketing, part of the aforementioned competition. So much work is dedicated to making my butt feel more cared after - I hesitate to say pampered in this case - that it's an industry all by itself, all aimed at capturing the market share of my butt.Many industries are indirectly related, such as billboards, TV, radio, web ads. And of course, any time there's a butt involved, baby pictures will be drawn in as if to a black hole, or a brown one, necessitating photographers, processing, airbrushing, and a dozen other fields to prepare the perfect images.

And it all comes down to my butt.

Now, look at the rich person. He or she also has a butt which supports all the same, wide range, or industries. So their butts are just as important as mine, but really, do their butts really need a tax break?



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Arrow 14 replies Author Time Post
Reply My Butt Is A Job Creator (Original post)
mindwalker_i Jan 2012 OP
provis99 Jan 2012 #1
mindwalker_i Jan 2012 #10
WhoIsNumberNone Jan 2012 #2
mindwalker_i Jan 2012 #8
pinboy3niner Jan 2012 #3
mindwalker_i Jan 2012 #5
mysuzuki2 Jan 2012 #4
mindwalker_i Jan 2012 #6
MADem Jan 2012 #7
mindwalker_i Jan 2012 #12
live love laugh Jan 2012 #9
mindwalker_i Jan 2012 #11
mindwalker_i Jan 2012 #13
SaintPete Jan 2012 #14

Response to mindwalker_i (Original post)

Sat Jan 28, 2012, 12:14 AM

1. although it's put sarcastically, you butt does create jobs.

 

Demand for goods and services creates jobs, though supply of said goods and services.

Frankly, your asscrack does more for creating jobs than Willard Romney ever has.

on edit: I think I'll save this OP for the next republican asshole I argue with.

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Response to provis99 (Reply #1)

Sat Jan 28, 2012, 12:58 AM

10. You are more than welcome to copy as needed

Attributing to me is not necessary, but appreciated. I think.

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Response to mindwalker_i (Original post)

Sat Jan 28, 2012, 12:17 AM

2. Unfortunately, you know who your star employees are?

The Koch brothers. They make a lot of money on toilet paper.

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Response to WhoIsNumberNone (Reply #2)

Sat Jan 28, 2012, 12:52 AM

8. I mentioned them :)

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Response to mindwalker_i (Original post)

Sat Jan 28, 2012, 12:22 AM

3. Your link is wiped

Or flushed. Meaning to say, it doesn't work.

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #3)

Sat Jan 28, 2012, 12:24 AM

5. Oops, let me try to correct it...

Good puns in telling me so.

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Response to mindwalker_i (Original post)

Sat Jan 28, 2012, 12:22 AM

4. I never thought of it that way but you're right.

I pledge to help create more jobs by increasing the fiber in my diet! That's probably more that the repubs ever did.

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Response to mysuzuki2 (Reply #4)

Sat Jan 28, 2012, 12:30 AM

6. That's the spirit!

Together, we'll wipe the "job creaters" off the map.

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Response to mindwalker_i (Original post)

Sat Jan 28, 2012, 12:34 AM

7. And here I thought this was gonna be one of those late night, off color sex threads!

Fascinating stuff...and we haven't even gotten to the pampering powder, the Preparation H, and the BVDs to cover that butt!

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Response to MADem (Reply #7)

Sat Jan 28, 2012, 01:22 AM

12. Yeah, I kind of focused on the main function

Upkeep and maintenance are a whole 'nother butt-related industry.

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Response to mindwalker_i (Original post)

Sat Jan 28, 2012, 12:58 AM

9. I could not resist this: "It starts with logging for the raw materials..."

No....it starts with...the logs.

LMAO

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Response to live love laugh (Reply #9)

Sat Jan 28, 2012, 01:20 AM

11. I was kind of hinting at that :)

Multiple types of logs come into the equation., so there's more than a grain of truth to your statement.

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Response to mindwalker_i (Original post)

Sat Jan 28, 2012, 01:26 AM

13. Although this was meant to be somewhat toungue in cheek (GAH!)

The replies have been a lot more thoughtful than I anticipated.

(Was kind of hoping for a DooZY)

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Response to mindwalker_i (Original post)

Sat Jan 28, 2012, 02:24 AM

14. If your butt doesn't outsource

it deserves a tax break.

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