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Sat Feb 2, 2013, 04:02 PM

My "You Might be a Republican" List

1. If you are fine with corporate welfare, but oppose welfare for people, you might be a Republican.

2. If you complain about your right to free speech being infringed when someone else criticizes you, you might be a Republican.

3. If you considered Mitt Romney as "too liberal", you might be a Republican.

4. If you believe MSNBC is the liberal equivalent of FOX News, you might be a Republican.

5. If you complain about Pres. Obama getting rid of the Bush tax cuts on top earners, but have been quiet about Pres. Eisenhower's 90% top tax rates and the 11 times Pres. Reagan raised taxes, you might be a Republican.

6. If you think Sandy Hook was staged, you might be a Republican.

7. If you fantasize about tyrannical government takeovers, you might be a Republican.

8. If you believe that Limbaugh, Hannity, O'Reilly, Coulter, etc. are honest, you might be a Republican.

9. If you say you believe in liberty, but have no problems with women being denied abortions, gay people not being able to marry like straight people can, or voting being made more inconvenient for poor people, you might be a Republican.

10. If you claim that Social Security is "unconstitutional", yet you continue to use it, you might be a Republican.

11. If you consider yourself a Christian, yet you are diagnosed with Obama Derangement Syndrome, you might be a Republican.

12. If you dislike socialism, but make less than $250K per year, you might be a Republican.

13. If you talk over someone or resort to false equivalence when losing a political argument, you might be a Republican.

14. If you believe that only Republicans/conservatives can be hard workers, you might be a Republican.

15. If you consider yourself "pro-life", but oppose universal health care and support the death penalty, you might be a Republican.

16. If you believe that Global Warming is a hoax despite 97% of scientists saying otherwise, you might be a Republican.

17. If you believe that Spongebob and Sesame Street are liberal propaganda, you might be a Republican.

18. If you were more concerned about Twinkies disappearing than the workers losing their jobs when Hostess was going out of business, you might be a Republican.

19. If you think that Obama is a big-spender, but have nothing to say about how much money Bush ll spent, you might be a Republican.

20. If you think that Bush ll won both of his elections legitimately, but you think that Obama stole the presidency, you might be a Republican.

Tell me what you think of this list, and feel free to add more!

46 replies, 5589 views

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Arrow 46 replies Author Time Post
Reply My "You Might be a Republican" List (Original post)
Jamaal510 Feb 2013 OP
putitinD Feb 2013 #1
nessa Feb 2013 #30
patrice Feb 2013 #2
wandy Feb 2013 #3
Thinkingabout Feb 2013 #4
whistler162 Feb 2013 #5
JaneyVee Feb 2013 #6
freshwest Feb 2013 #9
Egalitarian Thug Feb 2013 #7
freshwest Feb 2013 #8
ReRe Feb 2013 #10
tclambert Feb 2013 #11
TxDemChem Feb 2013 #12
tclambert Feb 2013 #13
Lady Freedom Returns Feb 2013 #21
kairos12 Feb 2013 #14
ErikJ Feb 2013 #26
sakabatou Feb 2013 #15
Jeff In Milwaukee Feb 2013 #16
LibDemAlways Feb 2013 #18
Jamaal510 Feb 2013 #38
LibDemAlways Feb 2013 #17
Hawaiianlight Feb 2013 #19
reACTIONary Feb 2013 #20
gtar100 Feb 2013 #22
airplaneman Feb 2013 #23
Jamaal510 Feb 2013 #39
kairos12 Feb 2013 #42
Iwillnevergiveup Feb 2013 #24
alfredo Feb 2013 #25
libdem4life Feb 2013 #31
tex-wyo-dem Feb 2013 #27
tex-wyo-dem Feb 2013 #28
Ian Iam Feb 2013 #29
tjwash Feb 2013 #32
Nevernose Feb 2013 #34
Jamaal510 Feb 2013 #40
tjwash Feb 2013 #43
sheshe2 Feb 2013 #33
Jamaal510 Feb 2013 #41
Beartracks Feb 2013 #35
Brigid Feb 2013 #36
bvar22 Feb 2013 #46
Initech Feb 2013 #37
treestar Feb 2013 #44
bvar22 Feb 2013 #45

Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 04:11 PM

1. if you can read this post, your probably not a republican

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Response to putitinD (Reply #1)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 08:39 PM

30. you're

nt

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 04:15 PM

2. If you think opinion & fact are the same thing, so just saying something makes it so, you're a Rep

ublican.

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 04:30 PM

3. Obama Derangement Syndrome. Cool.....

Great name for something that contributes to the Teapublican menus.

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 04:54 PM

4. Good post, i think i watched this convention already and know some members.

I remember the jokes thrown at Democrats and the same ones are coming back to them.

Here's one, if you know the difference between legitimate and illegitimate rape.

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 04:55 PM

5. You forgot "create lists" a sure sign!

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 04:59 PM

6. If you're outraged that you may not be able to choose an AR-15 but not outraged that women may be

stripped of their right to make personal healthcare decisions.

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Response to JaneyVee (Reply #6)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 05:11 PM

9. Yep, ain't that something. Never see 'em defending any other right. A point made by patrice, too.

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 05:09 PM

7. K&R& How many of these have we seen defended by long time posters right here? n/t

 

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 05:09 PM

8. Best list yet - should go viral. Nothing to add, yet.

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 05:16 PM

10. This is the best, most up-to-date "You might be a Republican if.."

K&R

list I've seen. You nailed it...

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 05:33 PM

11. If you are not running for Senate in Massachusetts because bqhatevwr, you may be

a drunk Republican.

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 05:39 PM

12. Nice

If you think all Hispanics are Mexican illegals, you might be a Republican

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 05:42 PM

13. If you ever wished you could pay your employees less than minimum wage . . .

-- If you think unions ruined the American workplace . . .

-- If you think Barack Obama can be both a Fascist and a Socialist . . .

-- If you think America must maintain the world's most expensive military in order to protect us from the Soviet Union . . .

-- If you find yourself riding around your country club in a golf cart complaining about how lazy minorities are . . .

you might just be a Republican.

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Response to tclambert (Reply #13)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 06:18 PM

21. +1!

Love it!!!

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 05:47 PM

14. If you drive an Escalade...

and complain about gas prices you might be a Republican.

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Response to kairos12 (Reply #14)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 07:31 PM

26. +1!!

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 05:50 PM

15. If you derail against homosexuals, yet get caught having such a relationship...

You may be a Republican.

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 06:08 PM

16. Funny thing....

If swap the word "dumbass" for "Republican," the list still works perfectly well.

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Response to Jeff In Milwaukee (Reply #16)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 06:10 PM

18. "Republican" and "dumbass" are synonyms.

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Response to Jeff In Milwaukee (Reply #16)

Sun Feb 3, 2013, 10:53 AM

38. I was also thinking "hypocrite".

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 06:09 PM

17. "Might be?" No, "are" is more like it. A couple more.....

If you name your only son after the 1st Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan (as George "Macaca" Allen did), you are definitely a Republican.

If you believe that your "right" to own an assault weapon is more important than your neighbor's child's right to life, you are definitely a Republican.

If you believe Pres. Obama is not a US Citizen even after seeing his birth certificate, you are not only delusional, you are definitely a Republican.

If you believe that people who use food stamps load up their carts with steaks and lobsters, you are definitely a Republican.

If you think a CEO deserves his seven figure salary, but you hate unions, you are definitely a Republican.

If you vote against every bill that could possibly help someone, but call yourself "pro-life" you are a Republican politician -- and the worst kind of hypocrite.



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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 06:13 PM

19. Obama Derangement Syndrome

That term needs to be added to the journal of the american psychiatric association.

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 06:13 PM

20. If you think there is a distinction between legitimate and illegitimate rape...

...then you might be a Republican.

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 06:35 PM

22. Damn, republicans sure know how to pile on the stupid.

To realize my whole life of almost 50 years that I have been subjected to the kind of bullshit thinking spewing out of conservatives, it's really quite depressing. They are hateful, selfish people and impossible to deal with because they project their messed up crap on anyone around them but never themselves.

Am I a bad person for wishing them to all be raptured away en mass? Let them try to build their utopia someplace else and stop ruining this one planet we all share.

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 07:07 PM

23. I have a few to add

-If you think social security is a ponzi scheme.
-If you think government is too big but not the military
-If you think private enterprise is better than government or that everything government does should be privatized.
-If you think the rich are rich because they are smart and the poor are poor because they are dumb.
-If you think the government cannot do anything right and is extremely inefficient at everything.
-If you think the government is out to get you.
-If you think the government has no right to tell you what to do.
airplane

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Response to airplaneman (Reply #23)

Sun Feb 3, 2013, 10:56 AM

39. I completely forgot about the 2nd one.

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Response to airplaneman (Reply #23)

Sun Feb 3, 2013, 11:11 AM

42. If you are on Medicare and...

yell "keep the government out of my health care" you are a Republican--teabag version.

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 07:11 PM

24. How about

If you make regular appearances on "Meet the Press", you might be a Republican.

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 07:30 PM

25. If you think the squiggly red lines when you type is proof Obama is spying on you,

you might be a Republican.

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Response to alfredo (Reply #25)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 08:42 PM

31. Took me a minute . .. LOL.

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 07:37 PM

27. If your...

Idea of compassion is telling a homeless person "quit being lazy, pick yourself up by your own bootstraps and get a job", you might be a republican.

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 07:44 PM

28. If you continually rail against...

And vote against your own best interests, you are definitely a knucklehead republican.

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 07:45 PM

29. 16.A

 

If you think global warming is a punishment from God....

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 08:49 PM

32. An oldie but a goodie - 14 signs you may know a libertarian or a paulbot

1) Do they refer to Rush Limbaugh and Mitt Romney as liberals?

2) Do they spend most of their time shut in their bedrooms sitting on empty boxes of Clearasil in front of a computer?

3) Do you consider them loners with no friends to speak of?

4) Do they fair poorly with the opposite sex?

5) Have the words “statist” and “statism” suddenly been added to their rhetoric?

6) Have they reduced the first Ten Amendments to the Constitution to two: The Second and the Tenth?

7) Do you hear them say “States’ Rights yesterday, States’ Rights today and States’ Rights forever?”

8) Are you beginning to see magazines like Soldier of Fortune, Guns & Ammo, The American Spectator, CATO Institute position papers and travel brochures from Western Montana or Northern Idaho in their rooms?

9) Do they seem to have no concern for others, society, or even the planet itself?

10) Have you noticed that their rhetoric and writings include the words; I, me, my or mine at least twice per sentence?

11) Do they go on long sustained rants about the ATF, the UN, Black Helicopters, or Hillary Clinton?

12) Do they spend the major portion of their time talking about or playing with military style weapons?

13) Do they speak fondly of David Koresh, Randy Weaver and Timothy McVeigh?

14) Are they over 30 and still living at home?

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Response to tjwash (Reply #32)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 10:49 PM

34. #8 Reminds me of a book called "King Dork"

In it, the protagonist got bullied a lot in the ninth grade, but by tenth no one messed with him anymore. He started carrying copies of "Soldier of Fortune" and "Guns & Ammo," as well as a copy of Catcher in the Rye with him wherever he went. If a bully stopped him in the hall, he would just move the magazines around so the bully could see him; the bullies would assume he was a Columbine-like kid and back off. If a teacher confronted him about anything, he would just display his copy of Catcher in the Rye until the teacher notice; inevitably the teacher would stop midsentence and say, "Oh, that's such a good book!"

Anyway, just thought I'd share. King Dork. Good book.

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Response to tjwash (Reply #32)

Sun Feb 3, 2013, 10:59 AM

40. IDK how anyone with a straight face could consider Limbaugh a liberal.

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Response to Jamaal510 (Reply #40)

Sun Feb 3, 2013, 11:22 AM

43. Scary as it is there are folks so far to the right of rush that they look at him as a liberal

They usually live in Montana log cabins, or are busy trying to make their own little island nations and enclaves in the woods.

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sat Feb 2, 2013, 10:40 PM

33. If you...

thought that the policies of Romney & Ryan, were going to save you, and put you on the path to prosperity and save the world from the evil Dem's. Then you are not just a Republican. You are a STUPID Republican!

Keep voting against your better interests, GOP. Way to go.

Thanks for the OP, Jamaal.

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Response to sheshe2 (Reply #33)

Sun Feb 3, 2013, 11:00 AM

41. No problem.

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sun Feb 3, 2013, 12:29 AM

35. If you've ever told someone "Go back to your own country," you might be a Republican. And...

... if you spoke those words to an American citizen, you are DEFINITELY a Republican.

=======================

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sun Feb 3, 2013, 01:21 AM

36. If your heroes are . . .

Cornelius Vanderbilt, John Rockefeller, and Andrew Carnegie, you might be a Republican.

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Response to Brigid (Reply #36)

Sun Feb 3, 2013, 08:41 PM

46. AND...if your heroes are Ayn Rand and John Galt,

you are just a fucking idiot.

Ayn Rand wrote FICTION.
You might as well believe in Disneyland and Mickey Mouse.

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sun Feb 3, 2013, 02:26 AM

37. If you believe that you are "pro life" but own a gun, you might be a republican.

If you care about the perceived sexuality of cartoon characters - you might be a republican.

If you believe "we built this" but have never heard the Jefferson Starship song, you might be a republican.

If you think CEOs deserve 300% raises while the workers suffer and the company tanks, you might be a republican.

If you think the media is liberal while only watching Fox News and buying the same book week after week after week, you might be a republican.

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sun Feb 3, 2013, 11:55 AM

44. If you think global warming

does not exist, and is a conspiracy by Al Gore to run the world as a dictatorship - what better way to require world gubmint?

may exist, but if so, is created by God and there is nothing we can do about it but await the apocalypse

may exist, but no biggie, just buy land in Canada;

is disproven if there is a particularly cold winter in your local area

is not proven by a particularly hot summer in your local area - that's just summer as God intended it

is completely disproven because one scientist somewhere was mistaken or dishonest on an issue concerning it.

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Response to Jamaal510 (Original post)

Sun Feb 3, 2013, 02:12 PM

45. If you believe that Marijuana Smokers belong in jail,

but NOT Wall Street criminals....

If you believe that Wall Street Bankers deserved a Bailout,
but not American Home Owners....

If you believe that "Free Trade" is GOOD for the American Working Class...

If you believe that the "Too Big to Fails" ARE above The Law,....

If you believe that 39.5% is a fair tax rate on The RICH,...

If you believe in an Invisible Hand,....

If you believe that forcing everybody to buy Health Insurance is Universal Health Care,...

If you believe that the Patriot Act, Homeland Security, and Spying on Americans will keep us safe from "terror",...

If you think that cutting Social Security will decrease The Deficit,
or has ANYTHING to do with The Deficit,...

If you believe that Charter Schools are the same thing as Public Schools,....



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