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Tue Jan 29, 2013, 05:08 PM

Shame on me for being a bully:




I hate bullying. I was bullied, then I decided it would stop, and it did.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. On one hand I think good on the mom the kid knows how it feels and maybe he'll never do it again, on the other hand I think it's bullying.

Thoughts?


p.s. I didn't write the caption on the picture.

found here: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=441171112622291&set=a.272165562856181.63991.271949099544494&type=1&theater

p.p.s. this isn't a post and run, I have to do something will be back in a while.

18 replies, 2248 views

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Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 18 replies Author Time Post
Reply Shame on me for being a bully: (Original post)
one_voice Jan 2013 OP
Robb Jan 2013 #1
The Velveteen Ocelot Jan 2013 #2
Wait Wut Jan 2013 #6
one_voice Jan 2013 #9
one_voice Jan 2013 #8
abelenkpe Jan 2013 #3
longship Jan 2013 #4
seabeyond Jan 2013 #5
Rider3 Jan 2013 #7
libodem Jan 2013 #10
one_voice Jan 2013 #12
libodem Jan 2013 #14
joeybee12 Jan 2013 #11
cthulu2016 Jan 2013 #13
TheMadMonk Jan 2013 #15
SonofSamael May 2013 #16
pipoman May 2013 #17
darkangel218 May 2013 #18

Response to one_voice (Original post)

Tue Jan 29, 2013, 05:10 PM

1. Ah, quick fix parenting.

What could go wrong?

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Response to one_voice (Original post)

Tue Jan 29, 2013, 05:14 PM

2. I don't think publicly shaming a kid

is a particularly effective or humane way of improving his behavior.

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Response to The Velveteen Ocelot (Reply #2)

Tue Jan 29, 2013, 05:18 PM

6. Nope. Not at all.

A better solution would be volunteer work at a shelter, hospital, etc. And mom should be by his side to share the experience.

Humiliation is a horrible teacher and will just make the kid resentful.

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Response to Wait Wut (Reply #6)

Tue Jan 29, 2013, 05:42 PM

9. Volunteer work teaches a lot...

I think this would be great. Both my children did volunteer work. My daughter still does, she the team leader at work for all their volunteer stuff.

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Response to The Velveteen Ocelot (Reply #2)

Tue Jan 29, 2013, 05:39 PM

8. I agree with this...

I don't like that the child is being shamed that's a form of bullying. How do you teach them it's wrong if you do it to them?

I would never do this to my children.

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Response to one_voice (Original post)

Tue Jan 29, 2013, 05:16 PM

3. I think the mom is bullying her son in an attempt

to teach him not to bully which he probably learned from his mom. I do not think this is an example of good parenting. And I doubt it will have the desired effect.

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Response to one_voice (Original post)

Tue Jan 29, 2013, 05:16 PM

4. I was bullied, relentlessly in 8th and 9th grades.

When my jaw was broken because of it, I decided it would end. And it didn't. It got worse. Thankfully, I got through it. But so many don't.

This mother is doing the right thing.

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Response to one_voice (Original post)

Tue Jan 29, 2013, 05:18 PM

5. it would depend how much talking she did before, after and why it was important

for him to atone in this manner. it is all in the doing, not necessarily the doing. could be positive. could be reinforcement of bullying. a greater issue.

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Response to one_voice (Original post)

Tue Jan 29, 2013, 05:31 PM

7. This is good

The kid who he bullied was probably embarrassed, as well. This kid is paying a very small price. The mother is doing the right thing.

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Response to one_voice (Original post)

Tue Jan 29, 2013, 05:44 PM

10. I dislike

Humiliating people. You can see where the kid gets it.

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Response to libodem (Reply #10)

Tue Jan 29, 2013, 05:53 PM

12. When a kid is a bully and you tell the parent...

you usually get one of two reactions:

1. the parent acts like it's no big deal and usually yells/embarrasses the kid and you right then where the kid got it from.

2. the parent is horrified and really doesn't know their kid has been doing it and immediately wants to get to the root of the problem.

In my opinion 9 times out of 10 a kid learns to bully at home.

You can usually pick the bullies parents out at school functions and sporting events.

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Response to one_voice (Reply #12)

Tue Jan 29, 2013, 06:04 PM

14. Yes

You have to hope that when a bully is outted to his parents that he isn't severely physically punished. They are usually a product of their environment.

In a way this fits the crime, but I still hate shame and humiliation as a tactic. There has to be a better way.

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Response to one_voice (Original post)

Tue Jan 29, 2013, 05:46 PM

11. I don't think public shaming is effective...

I think I know where this kid got his bullying tendencies from.

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Response to one_voice (Original post)

Tue Jan 29, 2013, 05:57 PM

13. I think we know where he gets it

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Response to one_voice (Original post)

Tue Jan 29, 2013, 06:22 PM

15. And without shame they grow up shameless.

 

The trick is to start young, so that phrases like "Is that yours?", "You should be ashamed of yourself.", "What would your mother think?" will STILL make you cringe in your forties.

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Response to one_voice (Original post)


Response to SonofSamael (Reply #16)

Sat May 18, 2013, 03:57 PM

17. interesting post..

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Response to SonofSamael (Reply #16)

Sun May 19, 2013, 02:28 PM

18. I know its hard, but try to forgive your mom :(

Nobody is perfect, im sure she loved you and most likely still does. She gave you life.

Im about to lose my mom, i cry every day :'(

Please forgive your mom x

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