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Thu Jan 17, 2013, 02:58 AM

So my 3rd-grade son asked me if there are any crazy people with guns near us.

His school has not mentioned Newtown. The shootings happened right after his elementary school closed for a 3-week Christmas break. When school resumed, the teachers did not talk about it with the kids. However, the kids know about it and have questions. Like my son, who wants to know if it can happen at his school. He knows that some "crazy man" shot a bunch of kids and teachers to death. What he doesn't know is if can happen at his school.

My son was watching President Obama on TV tonight talking about banning assault weapons and he was shocked that they were even legal. "Are there any crazy people with those guns near us?" he asked me. I said, "we live in very safe area. This happened clear on the other side of the country. Nothing bad has ever happened at your school. No one here would do such a thing. And the man who killed those kids is dead. He can't hurt anyone anymore." That seemed to satisfy him, as he said, "good" and went to bed. I know it was not the best answer, but I wanted to say something reassuring so he would not have nightmares.

It is outrageous that our kids should be worrying about someone blowing them away. It is unbearable that their fears are well-founded.

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Reply So my 3rd-grade son asked me if there are any crazy people with guns near us. (Original post)
SunSeeker Jan 2013 OP
okaawhatever Jan 2013 #1
daschess1987 Jan 2013 #2
Sunlei Jan 2013 #3
Chorophyll Jan 2013 #51
Frazzul Jan 2013 #4
JI7 Jan 2013 #6
stultusporcos Jan 2013 #5
JI7 Jan 2013 #7
BlueMTexpat Jan 2013 #10
lunatica Jan 2013 #18
Laura PourMeADrink Jan 2013 #19
redwitch Jan 2013 #26
SunSeeker Jan 2013 #38
stultusporcos Jan 2013 #48
Chorophyll Jan 2013 #53
stultusporcos Jan 2013 #56
SunSeeker Jan 2013 #63
Chorophyll Jan 2013 #52
stultusporcos Jan 2013 #54
upaloopa Jan 2013 #57
BlueMTexpat Jan 2013 #8
Nuclear Unicorn Jan 2013 #13
marions ghost Jan 2013 #17
Nuclear Unicorn Jan 2013 #35
marions ghost Jan 2013 #37
obamanut2012 Jan 2013 #44
lunatica Jan 2013 #20
malaise Jan 2013 #21
LineLineLineLineReply .
Nuclear Unicorn Jan 2013 #36
yardwork Jan 2013 #40
Earth_First Jan 2013 #22
Nuclear Unicorn Jan 2013 #32
Remmah2 Jan 2013 #34
MichiganVote Jan 2013 #61
BlueMTexpat Jan 2013 #65
marions ghost Jan 2013 #15
Skee Jan 2013 #31
BlueMTexpat Jan 2013 #66
Kalidurga Jan 2013 #9
Laura PourMeADrink Jan 2013 #24
ReRe Jan 2013 #11
marions ghost Jan 2013 #16
lunatica Jan 2013 #23
ReRe Jan 2013 #27
marions ghost Jan 2013 #30
ReRe Jan 2013 #41
OneTenthofOnePercent Jan 2013 #12
UnrepentantLiberal Jan 2013 #14
Jennicut Jan 2013 #25
liberal N proud Jan 2013 #28
lynne Jan 2013 #29
Remmah2 Jan 2013 #33
jwirr Jan 2013 #39
csziggy Jan 2013 #42
Denninmi Jan 2013 #43
SunSeeker Jan 2013 #45
Brickbat Jan 2013 #46
Denninmi Jan 2013 #47
sheshe2 Jan 2013 #60
Initech Jan 2013 #49
Chorophyll Jan 2013 #50
Sekhmets Daughter Jan 2013 #55
HockeyMom Jan 2013 #58
Sekhmets Daughter Jan 2013 #59
sheshe2 Jan 2013 #62
ZombieHorde Jan 2013 #64

Response to SunSeeker (Original post)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 03:36 AM

1. How sad. Atleast you can tell him everytime you do something

to promote gun control initiatives that mommy & daddy are trying to make sure there aren't any crazy people with guns. That's how politics work. Best wishes

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Response to SunSeeker (Original post)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 03:42 AM

2. I am so sorry that your boy has to go through that.

You did the right thing.

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Response to SunSeeker (Original post)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 03:43 AM

3. for a child that asks,telling them the bad man is dead so he can never come to you, seems best.

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Response to Sunlei (Reply #3)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:16 PM

51. Agreed. Absolutely. nt

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Response to SunSeeker (Original post)


Response to Frazzul (Reply #4)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 04:47 AM

6. and yet those kids were still shot to death and he is in the 3rd grade

not a high school or college kid preparing for a class debate.

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Response to SunSeeker (Original post)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 04:42 AM

5. So you lied to your kid, good job. People need to be truthful with kids

 

they are much smarter than people give them credit for. One day your kid will figure out, wow Mom/Dad LIED to me about this, what else have they lied to me about?

Your kid your life and all that, IMHO it is bad to lie to a kid.

Good luck hopefully it all works out for you and your family.

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Response to stultusporcos (Reply #5)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 04:49 AM

7. no it's not always bad, as he gets older he will know why he was lied to

as he woudl have developed critical thinking skills.

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Response to JI7 (Reply #7)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 04:55 AM

10. As a mother, grandmother and great-grandmother,

you have my vote for attempting to reassure your son.

It was certainly an age-appropriate response, even when you yourself recognize such reassurance for the crapshoot it is. But then, so much of life is a crapshoot. Most of us are extremely fortunate in that we will - hopefully - never know such violence or tragedy. Some of us are not.

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Response to stultusporcos (Reply #5)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:11 AM

18. I hope you don't have children, because no child needs to be told

they might get murdered by a stranger in their school. Children need to be reassured, not made to feel totally vulnerable and helpless against an evil world.

Fuck!

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Response to stultusporcos (Reply #5)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:14 AM

19. Rude and absurd thing to say here. I don't see any lies at all. Apologize to OP for you.

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Response to stultusporcos (Reply #5)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:32 AM

26. The child is in 3rd grade.

He doesn't need to be consumed with fear. What would YOU have told him?

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Response to stultusporcos (Reply #5)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 11:19 AM

38. But we DO live in a safe area where this sort of thing has never happened.

He also understands there ARE crazy people out there that kill kids. But he doesn't know whether that is rare or not. I think I can safely say that none of my neighbors would take an AR-15 to a bunch of kids. He understands the entire world is not our little neighborhood.

He is concerned with what is going on elsewhere and I did not dissuade him of that concern. Like I said, he is shocked that assault rifles are legal. We talked about how the President is trying to do something about that, and mommy and daddy are asking our congressman to help the President make assault rifles illegal.

Do you have kids? How would you have answered that question as they were about to go to bed?

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Response to SunSeeker (Reply #38)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 06:56 PM

48. Your life your kid do what you want I only posted my opinion

 

Me I would have told my kid the truth, but I always did that with them. Young kids can understand mental illness and what people are capable of.

There are millions of kids in the world who live with war, death, terrorism, hunger, lack of water, housing, etc... everyday yet still play and act like kids. Our kids are lucky, very lucky to be living in a western country where your worst nightmare is not a way of life for them.


Just be honest with your kids and good luck.

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Response to stultusporcos (Reply #48)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:20 PM

53. Spoken like someone who doesn't know any actual kids. nt

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Response to Chorophyll (Reply #53)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:21 PM

56. If you say so

 

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Response to stultusporcos (Reply #48)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 08:33 PM

63. What part of what I said is not the truth?

I posted that OP hoping for suggestions on how to reassure my kid. I really did not expect a snarky attack accusing me of lying for not telling my kid a man might blow his head off with an AR-15 the next day at school. But that's DU these days I guess.

My kid understands what mental illness is and what people are capable of. We've had that conversation. And the one about stranger abductions and inappropriate touching, sadly.

I told him he is safe at his school just like you would tell your kid that the vaccine he is about to get is safe (even though you know there is a tiny possibility he might have a reaction). I can't believe you would have told a spooked little kid at bedtime that some man could blow his head off the next day at school. Yikes. All that would have done is keep him up all night. You can be truthful without going overboard with too much information.

I know our neighbors. None of them would blow a kid away. Telling him that nobody here would do such a thing is not "dishonest" or a "lie." We don't even have a neighborhood crank that everyone avoids. In our case, what I said was true. Now for kids on the south side of Chicago, for example, that would be a lie. Some of our kids are not so "very lucky" in this "western country."

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Response to stultusporcos (Reply #5)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:19 PM

52. You must be an expert on child-rearing, huh?

An eight-year-old kid who's constantly worried about being shot at school is not gonna be a good student. He's not gonna sleep at night. Get a grip on your grand ideas, please.

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Response to Chorophyll (Reply #52)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:20 PM

54. Must be! See Reply #48

 

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Response to stultusporcos (Reply #5)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:23 PM

57. I don't know if it is a good idea to tell someone

how to raise their kids. All kids are not stamped out of a mold with the same responses that's why it's the parent's job to be the one who decides what is the best thing for their kid.

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Response to SunSeeker (Original post)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 04:50 AM

8. What is even sadder is that what you

told him about living in a "very safe area" is likely exactly what those parents in CT thought about where they lived.

So long as assault weapons are legal, no area is safe, because crazies can be found anywhere and it's only "obvious" after such a horrible and tragic event occurs. But this is not, of course, what any parent ever wants to have to tell a child. Ever.

And yes, it is outrageous and unbearable.

Responsible gun owners should be as outraged at the NRA's stance as anyone who is not a gun owner. I am not - and never will be - but those I know who are, many of them from my own extended family in MT, are as outraged as I.

Frankly, I see no need for any gun whatsoever in urban areas except for law enforcement purposes. They should be in the hands of police and security personnel only.

Hunters certainly do not need assault weapons - unless, of course, they want their prey to have even less of a sporting chance than it already has. Such courage it must take to face a deer with an assault weapon!

Wherever those hunters live, their guns should be securely locked up and locked up unloaded.



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Response to BlueMTexpat (Reply #8)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 05:33 AM

13. Um

What is even sadder is that what you told him about living in a "very safe area" is likely exactly what those parents in CT thought about where they lived.


So long as assault weapons are legal, no area is safe...


Those two statements are unrelated as Lanza used hundguns. Hasan used handguns, as did Cho and Loughner. Holmes started to use a semi-automatic rifle but the high-capacity 100-round magazine jammed (ironic, really) so he switched to a shotgun. Klebold and Harris obtained their weapons during the height of the AWB but they were minors so it was illegal for them to own any gun regardless of type.

The one thing all of these killers did have in common was that they were seen by others as being potential threats. These events seldom manifest spontaneously. If the authorities will not act in such cases I see no reason to criminalize tens of millions of good people while ignoring those who are actually dangerous. They should use the tools they have before asking for more Patriot Act-like power to invade people's lives without probable cause or due process.

Frankly, I see no need for any gun whatsoever in urban areas except for law enforcement purposes.


Self-defense *is* law enforcement; and no, I'm not referring to vigilantes but people actually confronted by immediate threats to their lives.

Hunters certainly do not need assault weapons


Why wouldn't a hunter want a semi-automatic rifle? I'm too squeamish to hunt but semi-automatic rifles are popular amongst hunters who to pride in the skill aspect of the "sport." Frankly, I never understood why golfers need all those different clubs to be lugged around in a clumsy bag but apparently those who engage in the sport understand these things in ways outsiders do not appreciate.

And semi-automatic rifles with 30-round magazines seem to be a field experience-based practical choice in defense situations because the police use them. The police also have back-up, body armor and a high-tech communication network to coordinate their response -- in addition to their semi-autos. If they have all that just to get an edge on a single shooter and guarantee their own safety then it seems to make sense that it would not be impractical for a private person to use a semi-auto rifle for defense as well.

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Response to Nuclear Unicorn (Reply #13)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:04 AM

17. Thank you for your support of the NRA

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Response to marions ghost (Reply #17)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 10:29 AM

35. And Hitler was a vegetarian ergo all vegetarians are Nazis.

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Response to Nuclear Unicorn (Reply #35)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 10:48 AM

37. Statistics show

that many Nazis today are still vegetarians!

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Response to Nuclear Unicorn (Reply #35)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 12:22 PM

44. Hitler was not a vegetarian -- he ate meat

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Response to Nuclear Unicorn (Reply #13)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:17 AM

20. Hunters gotta make sure they can take down those charging crazed deer

Ya never know when one of those rabbits will try to eat your brains either! I hear they hunt in packs so you need fire power that you can spray quickly when they attack.

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Response to Nuclear Unicorn (Reply #13)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:20 AM

21. Lanza used a Bushmaster to slaughter those children

and their educators

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Response to malaise (Reply #21)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 10:42 AM

36. .

When Adam Lanza left the house, he took a Bushmaster .223 rifle and two handguns -- a Glock 9-millimeter and a Sig Sauer semiautomatic, law enforcement sources said. He left the rifle in the back seat of his mother's car, which he used to drive to the school. Both handguns were fired in the attack, sources said.

http://articles.latimes.com/2012/dec/15/nation/la-na-nn-sandy-hook-gunman-tried-to-buy-rifile-days-before-20121215


The article also says Lanza was not able to purchase a rifle due to the background check.

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Response to Nuclear Unicorn (Reply #36)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 11:22 AM

40. The medical examiner report stated that the victims were all killed with the Bushmaster.

Many of the early news reports on this were wrong. The report from the medical examiner came out later, after the autopsies were done.

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Response to Nuclear Unicorn (Reply #13)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:21 AM

22. Are you *really* trying to draw similarities in owning golf clubs to owning firearms?

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Response to Earth_First (Reply #22)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 10:14 AM

32. No. I said quite clearly that I was describing those who do not participate in a given activity

do not understand the intricacies or reasons behind why enthusiasts choose what they choose. It took considerable effort to make my statement for anything else.

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Response to Nuclear Unicorn (Reply #13)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 10:22 AM

34. + 1 Civil Rights, a package deal.

 

nt

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Response to Nuclear Unicorn (Reply #13)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:47 PM

61. Hold up there cowboy..you've made a few assumptions

"The one thing all of these killers did have in common was that they were seen by others as being potential threats. These events seldom manifest spontaneously. If the authorities will not act in such cases I see no reason to criminalize tens of millions of good people while ignoring those who are actually dangerous."

1. Dylan, Klebold, and Lanza were not deemed as presenting a life threatening threat to themselves or others.

2. There is no evidence that in the case of Lanza, authorities did not act on behaviors that could have presented a life threatening event. There had been no complaint for authorities to act on. No criminal record. None

3. There is nothing in the various proposals presented by Congress, Biden, Obama or anyone else that suggests "criminializing" anyone who lawfully owns a gun.

4. A law is a law. It may be perceived to be an intrusive instrument but its purpose is to limit harm to others. You are arguing the application of proposed laws that are not even in existence-yet.

5. Unless I'm mistaken, a golf club did not kill 20 1st graders and 6 adult school staff.

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Response to Nuclear Unicorn (Reply #13)

Fri Jan 18, 2013, 03:58 AM

65. Go peddle your points elsewhere.

Articulately as they are expressed, they are straight out of the NRA's self-justification manual for killing anything that moves in the name of self-defense.

Because statistically those who keep guns for self-defense are more likely to have those guns actually used against them or their own family members, I find any argument for keeping one specious at best. If you're a "responsible" gun owner, the gun is locked up and no ammunition is in it. Period. How do you even get to it, fill it and use it effectively in time to react? Good locks, self-defense classes, a dog, a can of pepper in your nightstand, even a baseball bat can work pretty well for self-defense and still not be patent dangers to yourself, your other family members - indeed any of your loved ones.

Buying a semi-automatic weapon when one lives in an urban environment makes no sense whatsoever. Its use in that situation is patently for killing other human beings no matter what justification is used.

Hunters who take pride in the "skill aspect" of that sport hardly need a semi-automatic weapon. I've never yet heard of a rabbit, duck, goose, deer, elk or bison that has shot back. Or even aimed, for that matter. If hunters really want to show "skill," how about hunting with a musket? Now that would take skill. I know several who use bows and arrows. Again, for those who are interested in "skill," great. But puleez, don't even mention "skill" in connection with a semi-automatic weapon.

If you - or any one else in the USA - are so frightened of law enforcement authorities or "the Guvmint," then work to change the things that you don't like through the political process. Otherwise, you are nothing but a paranoid nutcase. Period. And, if you have a semi-automatic weapon, YOU are far more dangerous to your family than anyone outside it is.

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Response to BlueMTexpat (Reply #8)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 06:59 AM

15. Thank you, well said

It would be much better to tell the child that the president and others are working to try to prevent this in future. Thus you validate his fears, while giving him reason to believe that adults take it seriously.

To tell the child "don't worry, your area is safe" is just a lie. You teach the child denial. You teach the child not to care about what happens outside of their world. You teach them that it is not a serious problem. And then the parent is responsible for keeping the kid safe always, when really the child will have to develop his or her own strategies for self-protection in public as they mature.

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Response to BlueMTexpat (Reply #8)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 10:03 AM

31. Finding Crazy

The statement "crazies can be found anywhere" should perhaps
be adjusted to "mental illnesses occur where the environmental
pollution, malnutrition, and lack of healthcare aren't addressed".

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Response to Skee (Reply #31)

Fri Jan 18, 2013, 04:03 AM

66. Sadly, in the US today,

that is almost anywhere.

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Response to SunSeeker (Original post)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 04:51 AM

9. I would have lied too.

I told my kids there was no Santa Claus. But, when I worked at the Mall of America I over-hyped the security there. They were very afraid that the mall would be a site for a terror attack and it is indeed on the FBI list of places where they make daily calls and briefings.

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Response to Kalidurga (Reply #9)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:25 AM

24. Of course! It's absurd to think a parent would say "NO, it is not safe here or anywhere. Those

people in CT thought they were safe too. Nope, it could happen in your school too"

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Response to SunSeeker (Original post)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 05:16 AM

11. A story...

...Back during the first Iraq War, my son was very affected by the War (he was 5 yrs old.) His father had to be away for his job during the week. My son started being afraid to sleep by himself, even after our nightly story bedtime routine. I finally had to tell him something besides we are safe. So I told him all the windows and doors were locked and we were safe in our house. Nothing satisfied him. We were very active in church at the time, as we are Catholic, so I finally told him that if something did happen, that we would be alright.. that if something happened we would go straight to heaven to be with Jesus. Yadda, yadda, yadda. And it worked. Now, in your situation, it might not work, but I just wanted you to know how I handled a similar situation with a frightened child.

I'm so sorry your little boy is feeling such fear. No doubt children all over the USA are feeling the same way. I don't know how they can learn when they are scared. Hope everything gets back to normal soon.

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Response to ReRe (Reply #11)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:02 AM

16. What is "normal"

where this is concerned. Denial? Don't worry, be happy?

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Response to marions ghost (Reply #16)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:21 AM

23. You really like beating people over the head don't you?

This is a situation where there is no clear answer, and where parents have to do what they think is best. What you do is your business, but to berate others for not doing what you do is bullying. Get over yourself.

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Response to marions ghost (Reply #16)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:37 AM

27. Well, I mean when the....

....fear subsides, when the child returns to "his" normal. Absolutely don't deny the fear the child is having. How cold is that? And what on earth made you say that to me? If a child has a fear that the parent can't deal with, then it's time for an appointment with his pediatrician and maybe a referral to a child psychologist. And if you're religious, maybe a talk with the clergy. No, I've never been a person to deny my children's health and mental well being. I do know parents who have denied their children's health or mental problems, though. Some of the kids made it, in spite of their parents, and some didn't. I hope this answers your question...

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Response to ReRe (Reply #27)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 09:44 AM

30. Thank you for your reasonable response

and for explaining your view further.

My point was that--it is difficult to "return to normal" on this issue. Once a child experiences the fear--the certain knowledge that evil killers can and do shoot up schools, there may be no return to (what should be) normal. Because normal has been redefined. A place where the child once felt safe has been invaded. Adults may think that all you need is psychotherapy to get over it (ie. to forget about it and "move on") when what children really need is to see adults trying to find solutions, and even to be a part of that effort. They need to feel the parent's concern, whatever shape that takes. Young children are very concrete thinkers--it can be hard to reason them out of a fear. They will still retain it in their psyche. But if they are taught to talk about it and work at actual efforts to fix the problem--it is a better way to go than just trying to quell their fears and expecting things to be business as usual in a few days. If you do this, they will still sense the parent's instinctive fear later--whenever something else happens after this--either on a national or local level. Children can't evaluate the risks--they read the parent's fear level and they learn early how to detect denial in the parent. I would expect a lot of kids to be concerned about an incident like this for quite some time. Simply returning to what we parents wish was "normal" may not be possible, once shell-shocked by such violence. Active attention to the issue and developing coping mechanisms that don't involve denial is better. Edit to add--it is best if this is as community-oriented as possible, rather than individual psychotherapy. I advocate that EVERY parent of a child affected by this: SHOW the child the footage of the President and VP's
clear and direct speeches yesterday, calling for action.

No matter how good a parent is, you cannot always protect your child, and in fact, it causes parents great stress when they feel a child is at risk of gun violence at school. (I am worried about the effects on parents also, in this gun culture). It is particularly wrong to believe, and tell the child, that "this doesn't happen here" when we know that it could. That is Denial, capital D. Also, teaching kids they are special in that they are protected while others are not implies that we should have no concern for people elsewhere in the country, or the world.

I intended no insult to you personally. I meant my comment to be taken in the context of the whole discussion. So THANK YOU for NOT accusing me of being a bully and having bad intentions--as the poster before you --post #23--did. I think that poster's over-reaction was nasty and abusive. Particularly the term "bullying."

to you

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Response to marions ghost (Reply #30)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 11:24 AM

41. It's a mess, isn't it?

This is affecting children all over the country. AND parents. I think we might be living in a war zone right here in America. Have to run... several irons in the fire this AM.

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Response to SunSeeker (Original post)


Response to SunSeeker (Original post)


Response to SunSeeker (Original post)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:25 AM

25. I had to talk about Newtown to my 3rd and 2nd graders but we live 25 minutes from the

town. There were police outside our school. Everyone was talking about it as we live in Connecticut. The parents, the students. The teachers did not formally say anything to the kids and left it up to the parents. I simply said a bad man came into the school in Newtown and killed some of the teachers and some of the children. They are not fearful but were sad about the children dying. I think the important thing is not to scare kids but to be truthful with them. I said that we as a country need to address the problems of guns. My girls also watch the news with me and watched the entire DNC so they are pretty aware about things.

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Response to SunSeeker (Original post)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 08:02 AM

28. More lost innocents

All so people can own and use killing machines in the name of their rights.

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Response to SunSeeker (Original post)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 08:26 AM

29. I couldn't hide the truth from my 4th grader. He knew better -

- because we live right in the middle of the area where the DC Sniper was doing his killing. One killing was exactly one block from my office. My son was in 4th grade at that time. The school cancelled all outside recess and the children were taken to and from the buses through a line of teachers standing to protect them. Not to mention, 09/11 had occurred the year before, killing the father of one of his friends and about 22 people in our county.

He had one "melt-down" where he came home from school and had a 45 minute crying jag where I couldn't console him. I realized it was from being locked up at school and home, not being able to go out and run off all that excess energy while the sniper was on the prowl.

The good new is that he's now a very well rounded and well adjusted young adult. He's kind, hard working, giving and empathetic. He knew the truth but he digested it in whatever manner that children do and made peace with it. It didn't rob him of his innocence or his childhood. Children are very flexible and can handle more than we give them credit for.

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Response to SunSeeker (Original post)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 10:20 AM

33. Interesting, my kids fear people who text and drive and drink and drive.

 

They see that stuff every day.

It's interesting the fear mongering and brain washing the media does.

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Response to SunSeeker (Original post)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 11:20 AM

39. Yes. my kindergarten great grandson was telling me about code words for "run and hide" and some

preparation for emergency escapes in case there is some stanger comes in their room. I also heard him talking to his father about how he was going to help the teacher fight back. Fortunately his father understood and told him he should not try to fight back because he was too little to take someone as big as his father down.

He has not said anything about Newton either but we tried to keep the TV off.

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Response to SunSeeker (Original post)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 11:33 AM

42. It is wrong that children should worry about dying

But it's been happening for millennium. Children had to worry about invaders killing their entire villages, dying early of disease ("Ring Around the Rosy" was a very grim song for a reason), or going hungry.

When I was in elementary school, we were terrified by the Cuban missile crisis - I was in fifth grade, my little sister was in first. The "duck & cover" and evacuation drills scared us and made us realize we could die at any moment. That was a fear that stayed with me for a very long time.

I am not trying to make light of your son's concerns or of the school shooting situations. My comments are a reality check. Life was never as safe as "Leave It to Beaver" - life was always dangerous for children and adults.

I think you did good with your son. You reassured him and did not increase his worries. to your son.

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Response to SunSeeker (Original post)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 12:14 PM

43. I think you missed an opportunity to speak to your son about mental illness.

However, it's not too late. You might want to explain to your son the following:

"Crazy" is a pejorative term which many people with a mental health issue find offensive, in the same way the "n-word" or the "f-word" are offensive.

Sociopaths are not necessarily mentally ill.

Mental illness is a very broad term, it covers an entire spectrum of conditions including eating disorders, social anxiety, depression, substance abuse, as well as more significant conditions like schizophrenia.

MI can strike ANYONE at ANY TIME due to life circumstances, genetics, or environment.

The vast, vast majority are in no way violent, harmful, or "scary" and deserve to be treated with compassion, empathy, and the same respect anyone in civil society should be shown.

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Response to Denninmi (Reply #43)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 12:24 PM

45. I get you, but I was trying to put a spooked kid to bed.

I wasn't going to pick on his use of the word "crazy." We have already had a talk about mental illness and he understands it is when someone is not feeling well in their head. And that doctors can help that and people can get better from it and some people don't.

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Response to Denninmi (Reply #43)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 12:25 PM

46. This is a nuanced and compassionate post.

I know you have been fighting an awareness battle on this board and I just wanted to let you know I admire it.

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Response to Brickbat (Reply #46)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 02:09 PM

47. Thank you.

Honestly, I would probably be better off if I curled into the fetal position in a dark, quiet room until the howling mobs take their torches and pitchforks and go home.

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Response to Denninmi (Reply #47)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:42 PM

60. ...

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Response to SunSeeker (Original post)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:06 PM

49. Hey delusional gun nuts scare me far more than any terrorist ever could.

I'm far more fearful of someone walking into a mall, theater, arena, airport, with a semi or fully automatic rifle than I am of anything else. Those fears are fully justified.

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Response to SunSeeker (Original post)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:15 PM

50. This is the crux of the gun question. One would hope that decent people would always put

the safety, physical well-being, and psychological well-being of children ahead of their (arguable) right to have guns.

But it seems that a great many Americans have dangerously skewed priorities.

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Response to SunSeeker (Original post)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:21 PM

55. When I was in third grade

we had regular drills to duck under our desks in the event of a nuclear attack. It seems we are determined to raise the fear levels of children every couple of generations. I think you handled his questions very well, FWIW.

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Response to Sekhmets Daughter (Reply #55)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:37 PM

58. Besides that for me as a child, the Bush Duct Tape Fiasco

when I was working with 1st Graders in NY after 9/11. Out of the mouths of babes. "If we duct tape all the windows, won't we DIE because we cannot breathe?"

Six year olds are very, very smart. Even smarter than some of our politicians.

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Response to HockeyMom (Reply #58)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:40 PM

59. Some?

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Response to SunSeeker (Original post)

Thu Jan 17, 2013, 07:48 PM

62. That your child had to ask you the question in the ...

first place is so very sad!

I am sorry for that SunSeeker!

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Response to SunSeeker (Original post)

Fri Jan 18, 2013, 12:24 AM

64. I'm a parent. Knowing the right thing to say RIGHT NOW can be difficult sometimes.

I'm not sure what best to say was, but I do like your answer. I don't like to lie to my kids about the world, but fuck.

Something to think about.

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