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10 tips to stop rape (Original Post) HarveyDarkey Jan 2013 OP
k and r niyad Jan 2013 #1
Forgot #11 flvegan Jan 2013 #2
#11 is a very important addition, and thank you. niyad Jan 2013 #3
Wouldn't be necessary if all men heeded # 10 HarveyDarkey Jan 2013 #7
My brother did that twice... Kalidurga Jan 2013 #4
Your brother has my respect and thanks. flvegan Jan 2013 #5
Mine too even though I hate violence. Kalidurga Jan 2013 #9
I have heard it called "Raising his consciousness in a manner he can understand". n/t whathehell Jan 2013 #11
Oh well in that case Kalidurga Jan 2013 #12
Exactly. After all, we each have whathehell Jan 2013 #33
Excellent! peacebird Jan 2013 #27
Anytime, Peacebird, whathehell Jan 2013 #34
your brother has my respect and thanks as well. niyad Jan 2013 #6
I know a guy that lived by that rule in the late '80's alittlelark Jan 2013 #13
Seems like we women need to bear this in mind as well. davsand Jan 2013 #32
I don't mean to nitpick, but #2 and #10 seem kind of redundant. Bucky Jan 2013 #8
#3 & 10, #4 & 10, #5 & 10 etc. progressoid Jan 2013 #10
Bad taste? Spider Jerusalem Jan 2013 #16
For those who are still confused: nyquil_man Jan 2013 #14
K&R burrowowl Jan 2013 #15
This was posted recently, and it creates interesting discussion. Socal31 Jan 2013 #17
In a perfect world, we would all be scratching our heads and saying, "What's rape?" nt nyquil_man Jan 2013 #18
In a perfect world, #10 is the only tip that should apply. HarveyDarkey Jan 2013 #19
I'm female... Why Syzygy Jan 2013 #22
This ^^^ attitude need to be stopped also. In_The_Wind Jan 2013 #26
# 11. Stay the hell out of Steubenville, Ohio. Divernan Jan 2013 #20
K&R. Well said. Overseas Jan 2013 #21
Needed posting again, thanks intaglio Jan 2013 #23
K&R ornotna Jan 2013 #24
~ K ~ In_The_Wind Jan 2013 #25
Here you go… MrScorpio Jan 2013 #28
Targeting the PERPETRATORS of crime with this kind of campaign is a GREAT idea. Nye Bevan Jan 2013 #29
I think the idea is to direct attention thucythucy Jan 2013 #36
Problem is, graphics like this won't *actually* deter the *actual* rapists. yodermon Jan 2013 #30
It might not Why Syzygy Jan 2013 #31
Thank you for posting this. thucythucy Jan 2013 #35

flvegan

(64,406 posts)
2. Forgot #11
Mon Jan 14, 2013, 01:52 AM
Jan 2013

As a man, if you see any of the aforementioned possibilities or you confirm someone is attempting to rape a woman, beat the everliving shit out of him. It's quite enlightening. Trust me.

niyad

(113,079 posts)
3. #11 is a very important addition, and thank you.
Mon Jan 14, 2013, 01:55 AM
Jan 2013

and not just men--if I were to see anything like that, you can believe I would do everything in my power to beat that person to a pulp, whatever it took.

 

HarveyDarkey

(9,077 posts)
7. Wouldn't be necessary if all men heeded # 10
Mon Jan 14, 2013, 02:04 AM
Jan 2013

In fact it's the only one necessary. Unfortunately that's not the case.

Kalidurga

(14,177 posts)
4. My brother did that twice...
Mon Jan 14, 2013, 02:00 AM
Jan 2013

Once the victim wasn't a woman she was 6. The perp was our cousin. Before that some lady was getting assaulted in a parking lot and my brother pulled the guy off of her and beat him into a pulp he needed hospital care. He spent the night in jail the perp didn't press charges and the DA also declined.

Kalidurga

(14,177 posts)
12. Oh well in that case
Mon Jan 14, 2013, 02:31 AM
Jan 2013

I am all about conscious raising. Even if in one case the abuser nearly lost his.

alittlelark

(18,890 posts)
13. I know a guy that lived by that rule in the late '80's
Mon Jan 14, 2013, 02:32 AM
Jan 2013

He, his wife, and their 2 kids are the mentally healthiest ppl I know. He beat the SH*T out of 4 guys (that I know of) in college. He was always the guy you could talk to...... He had older sisters - maybe that was it?

davsand

(13,421 posts)
32. Seems like we women need to bear this in mind as well.
Mon Jan 14, 2013, 02:22 PM
Jan 2013

I have ZERO qualms about beating the shit outta any man that lays hands on me without my approval. While I realize that a lot of people have this idea that women are at some kind of disadvantage when it comes to personal defense, it ain't always so. I am not a brawler/bare knuckles person. I am, however, somebody that made the decision to resist along with the accompanying preparations a long time ago. I am willing to fight and I'm sure that I can make it hurt if somebody takes a notion to mess with me when I don't want it.

Sadly, I have to say that the best strategy is prevention. Avoid getting into that situation in the first place. That's a horrible comment on our society and the culture of rape that we live with, but it is the reality we face right now. Thing is, I have to wonder, if some of these guys got worried they might get the shit kicked outta them by the intended victim would they be quite so willing to rape? Can't say for sure, but a lot of our current attitudes don't seem to be working, maybe we women need to re-think our views.

I've worked to teach my daughter personal defense. It isn't just about how to break a hold or throw a punch, it isn't just about where to hit somebody to maximize the damage and pain. It is about the mindset that you DO have a say, and you DO have the ability to react. It is also about giving her a visible role model of what it means to own your own body. THAT attitude is what I think is missing for far too many of us.

YMMV.


Laura

Bucky

(53,947 posts)
8. I don't mean to nitpick, but #2 and #10 seem kind of redundant.
Mon Jan 14, 2013, 02:11 AM
Jan 2013

Also, using a website with the "co.uk" domain is kind of in bad taste.

 

Spider Jerusalem

(21,786 posts)
16. Bad taste?
Mon Jan 14, 2013, 02:42 AM
Jan 2013

How?

.co.uk is the standard TLD for UK websites? (Perhaps you're confused and mean .co.ck? which does in fact exist, it's the Cook Islands.)

nyquil_man

(1,443 posts)
14. For those who are still confused:
Mon Jan 14, 2013, 02:35 AM
Jan 2013

Find a dictionary
Look up the word 'no'
Study the definition of this word
Learn to recognize the sound of this word in context

Socal31

(2,484 posts)
17. This was posted recently, and it creates interesting discussion.
Mon Jan 14, 2013, 02:45 AM
Jan 2013

As long as it is not used in place of alertness, preparation for defense, etc for anyone who may be over-powered by another.


Some people are vile, disgusting human beings, and I will make sure that when I have a child they will know that. They won't live in a bubble, or believe that they are in any more danger than I was growing up, but they will know reality very young.

I would say the only criticism I have about this message is that it ignores the stark reality about the percentage of rapes that are committed by "trusted" individuals. One of the taboos in this world besides being raped is being raped by a family member or someone in a position of power in the community. This OP mostly deals with the stereotype of a woman walking alone at night or getting date-raped, (which believe me if I am coming off as marginalizing please punch me through your screen), I just think there needs to be more education all around about this subject.

In a perfect world, #10 is the only tip that should apply.




 

HarveyDarkey

(9,077 posts)
19. In a perfect world, #10 is the only tip that should apply.
Mon Jan 14, 2013, 02:50 AM
Jan 2013

That's the point I think. If that were the case none of the others would be necessary.

Why Syzygy

(18,928 posts)
22. I'm female...
Mon Jan 14, 2013, 03:20 AM
Jan 2013

Grew up in the 50's and learned from a very young age that bad men want to 'get me'. I think that will be true for most women. Children need to learn about "strangers" at a young age. But they don't need to be terrified with information they are too immature to handle. On the other extreme, I was told to "lock your car doors" even at age 21. I resented that. Like I don't know?

THIS is the most important thing to correct. The attitude is still more prevalent than one might think.

1950s Brooklyn Men All Agree: Women Need To Be Spanked

Nye Bevan

(25,406 posts)
29. Targeting the PERPETRATORS of crime with this kind of campaign is a GREAT idea.
Mon Jan 14, 2013, 08:07 AM
Jan 2013

We need to do this not just for rape but for other crimes too.


TEN TIPS TO END MURDER

1. When you go into a convenience store, simply choose what you want to buy and pay for it. Under NO circumstances take out a gun and blow away the clerk.

2. Don't be tempted to kill your parents to get your inheritance sooner. Instead, learn to be patient. They will eventually die of old age.

3. Is your spouse annoying you, or cheating on you? Divorce is a MUCH better solution than murder.

4. When you see someone withdrawing a large amount of cash from an ATM, do NOT follow them, murder them and then steal their money.

5. If you are really, really angry at someone, and happen to have access to a weapon, count to 10 slowly until your anger subsides. Do not get out your weapon and murder the person you are angry at.

6. If you are a drugs dealer who has been stiffed on a large payment by a customer, report them to Experian or one of the other credit reporting firms. Don't murder them.

7. Angry at the President of the United States? Don't assassinate him. Simply vote against him in the next election!

8. Do you have an unhealthy obsession with a well-known celebrity? Don't stalk and murder them. Join their fan club instead. They may even send you an autographed photo.

9. Refrain from joining any kind of fanatical organization that advocates terrorist attacks and suicide bombings. Because that's murder. Join a more civilized club instead. How about an amateur dramatics group, or a chess club?

10. DON'T murder.

thucythucy

(8,039 posts)
36. I think the idea is to direct attention
Tue Jan 15, 2013, 12:11 AM
Jan 2013

to the fact that women and girls are held responsible for preventing rapes, whereas the vast majority of men who rape are never held responsible at all, not by their peers, not by their communities. (See Steubenville, rape gang; Penn State; Catholic Church; etc. etc. etc.).

It's also a clever takedown of all those "don't wear revealing clothing, don't talk to strange men on the subway, don't drink with strange men (and also, don't drink with men you know)" types of lists of "safety tips" that women have seen pretty much all their lives.

But then, all that's been explained to you before, on other threads, so I doubt it'll sink in now.

yodermon

(6,143 posts)
30. Problem is, graphics like this won't *actually* deter the *actual* rapists.
Mon Jan 14, 2013, 09:33 AM
Jan 2013

Although, it may help raise the consciousness of some teens and young men who haven't been deprogrammed of the rape culture (usu. result of bad/negligent parenting, of course a topic for another thread)

Why Syzygy

(18,928 posts)
31. It might not
Mon Jan 14, 2013, 01:10 PM
Jan 2013

deter rapists. But it SHOULD educate the apologists, of which there are plenty. They reveal the deep seated notion that certain women are "asking for it". They excuse rape on the grounds of how a woman dresses, acts, and where she goes. That needs to be strongly discouraged. Forbidden, even. Their view is still one of men being powerless to control themselves when they are in the company of certain women. It is a sexist mindset. Feminism isn't a dirty word; and men who claim to be 'progressive' should have no part in demonizing feminists. But look around DU. They DO!

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